Swiss Clarinet student at the Conservatorium van Amsterdam. I started taking AT lessons when I moved to the Netherlands. I got interested in that technique not so much because of some pains, but more after reading The Alexander Technique : A Skill for Life by Pedro de Alcantara, while still in Switzerland. I started being aware that I was pushing myself all the time in order to achieve the goals I wanted and had no respect at all for myself. Not only was this very harming for my body and my mental health, but, on a more specific aspect, it could be very audible in my playing. The lessons with Annemarie (she was my first teacher) became one of the most important things of my life, for various reasons.
My breathing-in was blocked and noisy- I was forcing as much air as possible to come and fill my lungs, instead of simply allowing the air to come in. And concerning my breathing-out, I was forcefully pushing all the air out into my clarinet in order to achieve a ‘powerful and big sound’, which was actually only tensed and forced. I learned to use my directions and then simply let the air go out, releasing my tensions that I accumulated inside my body (to achieve that ‘big sound’) and giving up that desperate desire to ‘do’ and ‘be active’ and ‘do the best I could’. And released from all of these physical and psychological tensions, my breathing could be much more free and my sound became bigger, deeper and much more beautiful. Partly resulting from these bad habits, I was tensing my neck and my back a lot, going with my head towards the clarinet instead of the opposite. All of this gave me small or big pains, mostly in my arms and my back. I could feel improvements (less pain and tension) from the first lessons. But still now, after two years and a half, I discover at every lesson some small unnecessary tension that I should get rid of. So this is a lifetime work, but that is what makes it amazing. The good thing is that AT makes you aware of things, so in other words, it teaches you to become your own teacher.
One of the best achievements I came to with the AT is that I started respecting, loving and listening to my body. For some months after starting the AT, I was experiencing big accesses of tiredness after the lessons, because I was pushing myself too much and did not see the limits. I deeply realised how bad in every sense that was. Now I always try to work with my body, considering it as an ally and trying to build something with it, and the most important thing remaining that my mind and my body are in harmony together. I was always using my body as a tool to reach my goals I had set for me, which was really end-gaining and exhausting.
I had also some eating disorders (not that heavy but still annoying), preventing myself to eat enough, and then in situations when I felt stressed out, I suddenly could not control myself anymore and started eating and eating, mostly junk food until feeling sick and with big pains. The AT helped me to stop these bad habits by lying down or simply sending my directions, making the connection with my body again, releasing the tensions, facing the stress and deciding to cope with it instead of harming my body. The eating disorders disappeared after a couple of months after starting the AT, although I had had these problems for years.
I took also voice lessons with Annemarie. They were great and fascinating to free and release the voice, and my whole body felt more free as well, and I felt also much more free in my mind. And because the approach was different, I could experience other ways to release myself, to feel focussed, etc. For instance, in AT you should not close your eyes while lying down, but during the voice lessons, Annemarie asked me to close them, to travel with your imagination into your body, which is very different from the AT, but that is very nice because you simply experience other things that are as valuable.
I think this is one of the things I really appreciate in Annemarie- she does not have that fanaticism that some AT teachers have. She allows you to move, you do not have to always stay in her hands while playing, the music is still more important.
To name some other amazing qualities that she has are her kindness, her devotion (in her availabilities for the lessons, and also, she came very often to listen to me performing, giving me feedbacks afterwards) and her humility. I have had extremely nice and helpful conversations with her, she was listening to me and my problems and giving me tips to get over them, to not fight them but just stop, send my directions and see the situation with more distance. I had many other conversations that were more discussing things, and they were extremely enriching. Some AT teachers are real ‘teachers’, they have the knowledge and they will tell you, little student who uses yourself badly, how to do the right thing (they can still be very good, but I find that this side is slightly annoying). Annemarie is humble enough to talk about a ‘two-way’ relationship when she teaches someone, in the sense that she learns also from the student and that she keeps on working on herself, and I think it is a wonderful approach because it makes you feel very comfortable and gives you the idea that you are worthy, which is I believe essential for a good unity between body and mind.
