alex and haley

Writing about simplicity, cooking, lifelstyle and parenting. Living in Cambridge, MA raising two little ones.  I'm so glad you're here!

[alexandhaley]

32/33 Weeks

Well, something has kicked in over the last week, and I feel a sudden urge to get everything together for baby boy’s arrival.  

It has been so fun to organize his little clothes, do some laundry (seems so early, but whatever) and to take a good inventory of what we might still need.  The smell of the Dreft laundry detergent may have brought tears to my eyes.  Reminds of me tiny baby Vivi.  Gosh, I still can’t believe that baby girl is about to be a big sister.  It seems as if she has grown a foot in the past few weeks, astounds us with her verbal skills and is so much fun to be with. 

Back to baby boy... I’m thrilled that we finally decided on his name.  We’ve had it for a while but needed to let it sink in.  I suppose it could always change and we’ll take a good look at him when he’s born to see if it fits, but I think it’s a good one. 

We have a busy end of August- we’re both in a wedding and I turn 30!), so we thought that while we have the time, and I have the energy, that we’d start getting everything together.  Last week we brought up the bassinet and changing table from the basement and set it up in our room.  I’m trying to figure out what I want to hang on the walls to make it a little nursery for us for the next few months.  We assume he’ll be with us for the first 4-6 months and then we’ll do the big move-in with big sister. I love walking by our room or waking up each morning seeing all of his little things.  I’m loving all of the greens, blues and grey and still can’t believe a little boy will soon join our family. 

I’m also starting to prepare a little more for the birth.  With it being at home, there’s a little more we have to think about as far as supplies go.  Our midwife gave us a supply list and we purchased a home birth kit with sterile tools that are ours. And I’m working on the new and improved birth playlist as I type.  I’ve already warned our midwife that I’ll probably have the music playing fairly loud.  During my first delivery in the hospital, the music was playing but I could only hear it now and then, whereas when we were home, I had it louder and could hear each song.  I’m a music person, and music has the ability to take me to other places, which is one of my coping methods during birth.  So I’m excited to revamp the playlist. 

I’m to the point where I’m ready to meet him.  I’m ready to experience the feeling of having a baby boy in my arms.  I can’t wait to know who he is, what he likes and what his overall vibe will be.  Vivi was a super calm and easy baby who slept, ate and smiled so we have high hopes! I’m anxious for Vivi to meet him. My eyes fill with tears thinking about the moment she meets him and those first few hours after she finally gets to meet her baby brother.  We’ve been talking about him more and more lately since we’re getting close and she seems to be really excited.  She’ll grab a few of his infant toys and walk up to my belly and say- “baby brother, come out and play?”.  A big reason in choosing home birth this time around was to not be separated from Vivi for an extended amount of time.  It’s important to me to have us all to be together during this huge moment for our family.

This update was all over the place, but in a nutshell, we’re thrilled to meet the newest member of our family and it all feels like it’s just around the corner. 

[alexandhaley]

Vivi at 21 months

What a little delight she is.  Even though she is a little daddy crazy these days, she is still my little buddy and I enjoy our little conversations and the different ways we react so, so much.  

Vivi is a playful, funny and smart little girl who cares about others’ feelings and gets very upset when we drop or spill things, even a small glass of water.  She has blown us away with her speech and is speaking in short sentences and has phrases.  Her ability to pluralize words and know how to use proper speech such as, “I want to spin” or “I’m spinning”.  

She still eats pretty well for the most part- she has some picky days but overall is a great eater and prefers things like nuts and fruit over crackers or processed stuff.  She only drinks water, no milk or juice.  

She’s still sleeping great, 11-13 hours a night and a 2.5-3 hour nap during the day, so is very rested.  We recently had a friend in town who at first was shocked at how much she sleeps but then after being with us for a few days understood why.  Vivi is not obnoxiously energetic in an annoying she never stops kind of way but rather, she is a very busy little girl. Whether she’s telling a story, cooking in her kitchen, dancing or “grocery shopping” she stays quite busy.  We don’t ever have the TV on around her, only music and talking, so I like that she has lots of quiet time to herself to sing, talk or just think.  I think that’s pretty important for development.  I don’t want her to always be stimulated and I want her to find moments where she’s bored and figure out how to change that.  That’s just my opinion.  

Anyway, we still can’t believe that we’re about to have a two year old or just how much we love this little human.  She is absolutely perfect to us and we enjoy every moment of every day we get to be with her.  

Now, for some pictures :)

[alexandhaley]

It’s crazy to me that another little life is inside of me.  I’m wondering all the things we wondered when I was pregnant with Vivi... 

Who will this baby be? What will he look like? What kind of personality will he have? What will his name be?!

Next week is the 3rd trimester and I’m feeling pretty excited to be here.  Very content.  These last few weeks, I have been laying off the sugar and extra desserts, and wow, it’s crazy how good that makes me feel.  My mood is better, energy is great, sleeping well and craving all good and nutrient foods.  Turns out, even the second time around, that I still love being pregnant. 

You might remember a post I wrote when pregnant with Vivi that explained our “birth plan”, where we were delivering and my overall thoughts on an intervention-free birth.  It’s funny for me to read, because in that post, I mentioned that a home birth with a midwife is really what I wanted to be doing.  Well, this time around, that is the plan.  We have found a wonderful home birth midwife who lives right in our neighborhood, who comes to our home for all appointments (spending an hour or two with us) and the care she has provided to us so far has been nothing short of loving, kind, supportive and extremely thorough.  At the birth, she’ll be joined by another midwife and her birth assistant who is currently in midwifery school.  They are a great team and we feel like we’re in incredible sets of hands.  

Additionally, I have opted to receive “co-care” at the hospital that Vivi was born at. We didn’t decide on the home birth until about 18 weeks, so prior to that, I was seeing my beloved midwife at the hospital.  We just love her and she was fully supportive of our plan- she had two home births herself and offered lots of encouragement to us.  So with the co-care, we’ll see her again at 29 weeks, then again at 36 weeks and possibly at 40 weeks depending on how things are looking.  I find comfort in knowing that these midwives and doctors are a 2 minute drive away for us so if we need them, we’ll go.  They will also welcome our home birth midwife into the door with open arms and she would essentially become our doula to continue to support us through the birth.  I have zero hesitation in going to the hospital before/during/after the birth if that is what needs to happen.  Midwives are pros in avoiding emergency situations by detecting a red flag long before it is an emergency.  I’ll trust my body and her opinion and will not hesitate getting extra help if that’s what we need.  

We decided to do a home birth this time around for a few reasons: 

I was very comfortable at home while in labor with Vivi- and being a first time mom, I think that says a lot.  I was not scared nor did I feel like I needed extra help or interventions to get through it.   Once we got to the hospital, I didn’t receive an ounce of intervention (or anything that wouldn’t be available at home).

We aren’t crazy about the separation from Vivi those first few days after the baby is born.  We’d rather be at home, with her, and keep our family fully intact throughout the entire thing. I imagine part of me feeling empty if she isn’t there for such a special moment for our family. We realize that having a toddler around during the birth and right after, this might mean extra distraction or work, but she is our child, and we’re okay with that.  We also have an incredible support system here, made up of some of the world’s best friends who are like family to us. 

We found a wonderful home birth midwife, who actually comes highly recommended by the midwives at our hospital (she has supported many of them in their own home births) and feel that we are in extremely good and safe hands.  She is not a head in the clouds type of midwife, rather, she is smart, level headed and serious about her work.  She is a loving and gentle person who has been doing this for over 10 years in the area and in different parts of the world a few years before that. She is also funny, warm and is very enjoyable to be around.  

Something that made me shy away from this the first time is that insurance does not cover a home birth.  While home birth is technically legal in MA, insurance companies don’t cover it, although we might figure out how to get partial coverage.  Regardless, we took many weeks to discuss, and decided that in years to come, we would deeply regret not doing this because of the money.  And in the grand scheme of things, its a small amount of money. 

Lastly, I do not fear child birth.  This is a very natural thing that our bodies do and I fully trust the process and my body to birth a healthy baby.  It helps tremendously that I have a husband who believes this, too.  

I am sharing this here now, because I finally feel comfortable in doing so.  With just about all things regarding womens health, I think choosing where you’ll give birth is a very personal decision.  Our hope is that our friends and family will trust us in our decision and be supportive, or even excited for us.  We are thrilled to be going this route and look forward to experiencing something so personal and intimate, what childbirth is to me, at home. 

[alexandhaley]

As I approach the end of the second trimester, here are some thoughts:

Yesterday I wrote in the journal that I’m keeping for this baby and told him just how excited we are to meet him and have him join the family.  We have such a good thing going on with Vivi right now- things are pretty easy and we’ve fallen into a good groove- and we’re thrilled to bring a new little life into the world. 

Although I still feel bittersweet about it, I’m pretty excited to be finishing work here in a few weeks.  What a great year of work it has been, but I am looking forward to spending some time with Vivi and getting myself prepared for what’s next. 

I am looking forward to the summer months with Vivi.  I can’t think about it too much or I’ll cry but these are my last few months with just her.  I know when the new baby joins us, I’ll not be able to imagine life without him, but it’s very emotional for me to imagine that this is the last few months just the three of us- just the two of us on most days.  

I’m also embracing how easy things are with just one kid.  As long as we have snacks and diapers, the world is our oyster.  I have plans to meet up with friends, go to the beach and just be outside as much as possible this summer. Vivi is so happy when we’re outside playing. I love that she’s such an easy going little toddler and her independence grows by the day.  If baby boy is as calm of a baby as she was, we’re golden! :) 

During both pregnancies, I have maintained focus and priority to keeping myself as healthy as possible.  Leafy greens, wild caught fish, pasture raised organic eggs, organic fermented dairy- the list goes on.  With Vivi, I weighed myself each week and was happy with the number.  This time, while I’m still fine with the number, I’m not liking doing this as much.  My weight has been going up and down and I don’t like to see that.  I’d rather focus on a whole, nutrient rich diet and staying active and whatever weight I gain, is probably necessary for the baby.  

I’m sleeping so well lately and am so happy about it.  Vivi seems to love sleep as much as her mama does so while she sleeps 11-12 hours a night, I’m able to get my 8-9, which feels good. 

A couple of weeks ago, I had my first feeling of let’s set something up for him! But instead, I just pulled his bag of clothes out of the closet and re-folded them :)  At the beginning of August, we’ll be setting him up in a little corner of our room, since that’s where he’ll be until he moves into Vivi’s room when he’s ready. So, besides that little corner of our room, the house will remain the same. 

I’m looking forward to: our beach vacation in just a few weeks, our 6th wedding anniversary, wedding festivities for a wedding we’re both in in August, spending July 4th weekend in Buffalo (I love this holiday!) and the summer time in general! 

[alexandhaley]

If you’ve talked to me recently, you know that my year at work is coming to an end this summer. And I'm feeling mixed about it.  I knew this was a possibility going into a one-year contract role and that it might be convenient timing for me if another baby was on the way, and here we are, exactly in that situation. The role is ending for me, because it's turning into a full-time position with lots of travel in the fall. 

I know I've gone back and forth over here about whether or not working right now is right for me.  I've had some tough moments (months) this past year with working but overall, this has been so great for me, and needed, maybe more than I'm willing to admit at times. I love my darling girl, but this set-up has been a good thing for both of us I think, for us to spend some time apart. And that right there is different for every mother and child. For us, the timing was perfect.  I left her for the first time when she was one year old and we both felt ready, or as ready as we could be. I've been able to get back to the workplace I love and discover a new office, a new role a new set of people.  And I believe I found my spot here.  Turns out, Admissions at the higher ed level is something I'm really interested in and enjoy doing.  I love the team I'm on, what we focus on, and enjoy the admissions cycle.  I've never had such a wonderful boss and I truly value the work I'm doing- it feels important and often times critical, which in turn is very motivating, satisfying and challenging.  

As we come to the end of an admissions cycle for us, there's lots of reflection and brainstorming going on. What can we do better next year? What didn't work? Etc. And it feels hard not to be back here next year and see many of my ideas come to light. The feedback I have received from my team and my office has been nothing short of positive and that this is a "bye for now" type situation.  Gosh, I hope so.  It feels good departing on such a high note and knowing that an entire team of smart, driven women would have me back in a heartbeat.  It feels reassuring as I start a new chapter of being a mom of two at home, and I think that keeping the possibility of this job in the back of my mind will help me enjoy and embrace every day that I get to be home with my kids.  

We also have to say goodbye to our dream nanny.  She is perfect and she and Vivi love each other so much, it breaks my heart that they won't be able to spend time together anymore. If you had told me I'd feel this way this time last year, I'd say you're out of your mind.  Funny how things, perspectives, change. I still can’t believe we found her in the first place.  I imagine I will enjoy this next phase in a very different way than I did last time.  Those first few months of being home with Vivi are some of my favorite of my life but being at home with one baby has moments of deep isolation leaving you questioning if this is right.  But being home at home, full-time, with two- a toddler and a newborn- I imagine there will rarely be a dull moment or moments of isolation. If anything, just really chaotic :) We’ll be so busy with getting us all out of the house in the morning (because for me, that’s a must!) that by the time Vivi goes down for her nap in the afternoon, I imagine I’ll enjoy some cherished one-on-one time with the baby or squeeze in a workout if I can find the energy. 

I know that we will have the best days together and then some of the hardest, but overall, I have to focus on the here and now.  My babies are small and this is such a magical, overwhelmingly joyful yet hard phase of life. If I become too frustrated with food on the floor, a stubborn toddler or lack of personal time, it's all going to pass me by and I will have wished I did it differently.  I don't want that feeling so I am committed to make this next phase as fun and loving as possible while continuing to work on my patience and perspective.      

[alexandhaley]

22 Weeks

Despite the weather, (it's been raining for what feels like weeks!) we had a really nice Mother's Day Weekend.  I was treated to meals out, a luxurious pedicure, a sweet card, flowers and long walks when the weather finally cleared.  

This pregnancy is going very well so far. Although I am feeling much more pregnant a little earlier on this time, I am feeling really good and healthy, just like last time.  My energy is good, eating well and exercising well. My weight gain is much slower this time and I'm carrying much lower and straight out this time, compared to all around and high with Vivi. Also, stay forever, pregnancy hair and skin! 

We are thrilled to be having a boy and we're just trying to come up with a name- we have nothing! There are lots of nice male names out there, we just can't find one that fits this little one yet. Hopefully we'll come across something soon!

I'm definitely in the sweet spot of pregnancy and already feeling excited to birth and meet this little one. Big sister Vivi likes to touch and kiss my growing belly and play little songs on her instruments for the baby.  Pretty much the cutest thing ever.  

Now for a couple of obligatory photos :) 

[alexandhaley]

Vivi Mae- 18 months

We are stunned by our sweet little daughter.  She is talking, counting (with help), curious, friendly and pretty well behaved.  Fire trucks are her favorite and she loves to wave hello and goodbye at the buses driving by.  She is definitely her daddy’s girl these days, but I just got almost a week with her by myself and I can confirm that she still loves her mama :) 

Vivi is a tremendous sleeper, 11-12 hours at night, and 2.5-3 hour nap during the day. She has well rested parents and we are so grateful.  She eats pretty much whatever we eat, loves to dance, play in her kitchen and serve everyone tea. She also loves to scribble around with crayons and play with stickers. 

This bright and funny little girl is the light of our lives and sometimes we still can’t believe that she is ours.  I still can’t believe how she went from a tiny girl in a swaddle blanket who I held all day long to this vibrant, energetic and adventurous young girl.   

[alexandhaley]

12 weeks and 6 days

written on March 1

Today we heard your heart beat for the first time. And it was just as magical as when we heard your sister’s heart beating for the first time.  During the ultrasound, you melted us all when you waved your little hand and then your sister waved back. It was so cute the way you were moving your hands and arms around and at one point you were resting one arm across your belly, just lounging. 

In another month or so, we’ll find out if you’re a girl or a boy.  Your dad’s guess is a boy and he was right the first time, and the ultrasound tech had a very strong opinion one way, but we’ll keep that as a surprise for everyone. I honestly don’t care either way, but am excited to know this time around. 

Prior to the ultrasound, your due date was around September 14, but you were measuring a week ahead so now the date is September 7, the day after your sister turns two. 

We are parents again, and couldn’t be more thrilled to bring another little life into the world. 

[alexandhaley]

Exciting news...

I’m pregnant! And due on September 7, the day after Vivi’s 2nd birthday! :)

I’m just over 13 weeks now and am finally feeling better and we’re just thrilled that a baby is on the way. 

This pregnancy has been different from the first in that I’ve been much more tired (probably because I have a toddler to chase around and entertain) and the evenings have been really hard for me.  I’m the chef in our family and cooking dinner for everyone was something I couldn’t do for several weeks.  Honestly, you couldn’t get me far enough away from the the kitchen, the refrigerator, the pantry, and all the sights and smells that come along with that.  Just like last time, there was a period when meat and raw vetetables sounded terrible, but now I’m finally able to eat just about everything again.  Raw peppers and onions are the worst, still, just as they were last time. And I don’t think I’ll ever like eggplant again.  Ever. 

Just like last time, I’m very much into exercising and staying as healthy and strong as possible while pregnant.  It’s great to have some energy back and I’ve been exercising consistently again for the past few weeks.  Early in February, I slipped on the ice and landed right on my tailbone, so that has taken some time to heal, so I’ve been doing lots of yoga and pilates, low impact cardio (elliptical, stairs, walking) and have been feeling better. I’d say I am more comfortable this time around with increasing the overall intensity of the exercise, which feels good to me for now. 

I hope to document the pregnancy here, but who knows how often I’ll be able to post.  I’m going to try, though!  Lately, in exchange for blogging, I have been writing letters to Vivi and now will start with the new baby. I love the idea that they have a keepsake from this experience, too, and I hope to keep up the letters throughout their childhood. 

I had so much fun sharing about my pregnancy (and beyond) last time and am so excited to start up again.  Thanks for following along!

[alexandhaley]

On the nights before a workday for me, I hang onto Vivi a little tighter until she eventually, and so sweetly, points to her crib and says “bed”.  Each night, I ask her if she had a good day and sometimes I feel her nod yes on my shoulder and other times she’ll pop her head up and right in front of my face, she’ll give a big “yes”.  And if we did something particularly fun that day, like seeing penguins at the aquarium or her music class, I’ll talk about that.  These moments are the best and worst parts of my day, because I know I have to spend the next day away from her. These moments when I’m holding my sleepy baby who is a flourishing, bright and talkative little girl, are moments I’ll hold onto forever.

Over the holidays, she got into the habit of going to sleep a little later at night and therefore sleeps later in the mornings.  On the night before a workday, I get very sad because I know I won’t be able to see her the next morning before work. I have periods of feeling up and down about work (as we all do) and often wonder, is this worth missing out on time with Vivi. I also wonder, would I feel this way if I weren’t working? Would I feel the need to get out?

I’m glad I eventually returned to work.  I would have never known if this was the right/wrong path for me had I not done it.  Being a working mom has been a great learning experience for me and as with any year that goes by in life, I have grown and learned a whole lot more about myself.  I often feel so torn and mixed about the trade-offs involved in working.  On one hand, it’s nice to have something that momentarily separates me from being a mom and running a household, which allows me to think clearly and learn new things.  But on the other hand, is that what I need or even want right now? Being a mother is an enormous part of who I am right now and so part of me wants to just do that, and be focused and mindful on that, rather than feeling scattered or like I’m missing out on a huge part of my life just to get out of the house and have a career. Which to some sounds like a big deal, but to me, in the grand scheme of things, my career is not what matters to me most.  It’s important, but not the most important. 

It’s funny how we can rarely be certainly positive about some of these things in life.  I am so confident and decisive in some areas of my life and then there are others that I constantly fluctuate on.  I am extremely fortunate that I found something that I can work in part time and that I get to spend two full weekdays alone with Vivi. Now that she is getting older, we are exploring even more new places and I have recently discovered what it’s truly like to view the world through a child’s eyes.  What a precious thing.  

So for the time being, I’ll continue to do what I’m doing it and give it more time,  and I hope to eventually figure out what’s best for me and manage the ups and downs of whatever path that is.  

[alexandhaley]

I’m starting to brace myself for January...the worst month of all for me. Am I the only one who does this? 

In the past couple of years, January has been really tough for me.  And it’s probably due to a perfect combination of all things terrible.  

The holidays are over, the brutal winter cold has set in, it’s so dark at 4pm, it’s possible that we’ll be buried in snow and concerned with street parking/shoveling spots, and the spring/summer seems so far away. I should also say that, I actually don’t mind the winter (even though I don’t ski) but there’s just something about January that gets me every time. 

So I’m already sitting here trying to game plan and here’s what I’ve come up with: 

read a good, uplifting book- any ideas?!

get outside every single day, and be sure Vivi does, too

try a new workout class- we have a pilates barre studio next to us and I always love some hot yoga in the winter time!

make it a point to meal plan and eat well

host lots of dinners/game nights (and in turn have things to plan) 

redecorate certain areas of the house so that it’s clean and minimal but refreshing and energizing.  When the christmas decorations come down, I always love to refresh our space to make it clean and bright. 

Spend some gift card money from Christmas, and maybe treat myself to a manicure or massage.  

These are my ideas.  If you’re in the same boat as I am during January, share with me some of your uplifting ideas! 

[alexandhaley]

How to Raise a Voracious Reader

Promoting literacy with dinnertime storytelling, family conversation, and books about food.

Yet another reason to sit at the table as a family at dinnertime! 

[alexandhaley]

This morning as I was rushing out the door, Vivi puckered up her little lips for a kiss (my favorite), did her backwards wave and said “bye” in her sweet, soft little girl voice.

In that moment, my world stopped and nothing else (missing the bus, being late to work) mattered. I dropped everything, gave her loads of kisses and a proper goodbye.

Without a doubt, this little girl has my heart.

[alexandhaley]

Today while at Barnes & Noble with some friends to escape the rain, Vivi did something that made me feel so proud and excited for her.  

We were sitting down playing with books and stuffed animals when she spotted some kids playing with a large train set that was set on a table.  Vivi LOVES trains, or anything with wheels for that matter, and looked up at me like- let’s go over there! I’ve been trying to help her understand that she can go somewhere on her own and doesn’t always need someone to take her (yay for walking!) as she much prefers to be walked everywhere she wants to go. 

So when she realized she wanted to go play with the trains, she looked at me, and I told her to go ahead, her tiny little body stood up and she walked right over to the table, right next to a kid twice her size.  Just look at my little peanut!

 Probably sounds ridiculous to many, but I feel so proud of her.  The tiny baby who was wrapped up in my arms only several months is now on her way to being an independent little girl who can hold her own around the bigger kids. Go Vivi!!

[alexandhaley]

What’s next?

As I’m sure many couples do (maybe?), Alex and I often talk about what’s next for us.  Where should we live? When/where should we buy a place? How many kids should we actually have? Wouldn’t it be nice to live near family? 

Not being near family is really tough for us, especially now that Vivi’s around.  Our friends are a tremendous help and support for us but when we see family and they beg and beg to watch her for us, we think to ourselves, we could get used to this! But the reality of it is, we’ll probably end up staying pretty close to the Cambridge/Boston area, and if we had an unlimited budget, we would stay in the heart of Cambridge forever.  Our networks and best opportunities are here, we love the lifestyle and we have a tight knit group of friends that we consider family. 

it’s not out of the norm for people in our area to start families and continue to rent for many years.  I run into people at the playground who have 2 or 3 kids and are still renting in the neighborhood.  This doesn’t really surprise me because while our neighborhood is pretty affordable to rent in, it’s really expensive to own. We’re still unsure of what nearby town we’ll settle in (will likely be close to Cambridge) but it’s fun to think about and fun to look around. 

We are pretty happy right here and now.  Our commutes are really good (20 minutes tops door to door), we have so many things to walk to, including really nice playgrounds for Vivi, and I love the people and the community bond in our neighborhood.  Our biggest fear in moving a little further out is hands down the commute.  Especially now that we have a family, both of us being able to get home by 530 or 6 at the latest is pure gold.  I can’t imagine having to deal with an hour+ long commute in the car (so stressful) and missing out on quality time with the family. I know people do it everywhere, but we want to try and avoid that.  I also hope to always be near a little town center that we can walk to.  Not having to get in the car to do everything is so nice and keeps us moving a little more! 

We’ll probably be in our current place for another year or two, that is, if the three young twenty something guys next door don’t drive me completely crazy. We love the space and everything else I mention above, but the time will come when the “what’s next?” thoughts turn into “let’s make a move!”

But today, as I sit here feeling so annoyed and inconvenienced by the renovation that’s happening in the upstairs apartment, I am dreaming of the day that we call a place our own and don’t have to deal with management companies and sharing walls with neighbors. And street parking. And coin-operated laundry.  

[alexandhaley]

Currently

Watching:  We’re not watching a lot of TV lately, with it being football season, but we do enjoy watching the Voice each week (DVR’d because who has the time or patience to sit through all those commercials?!) Alex and I have become such saps since becoming parents- we both occasionally tear up while hearing someone’s life story on this show.

Listening to:  Head and the Heart, Ben Rector, Gregory Alan Isakov

Thinking about: Lately I’ve been thinking about launching a little side business of my own (in the form of an etsy shop).  Nothing huge, and something I don’t really want to give details about just yet, but it’s on my mind. We’ll see what, if anything, comes of it.

Loving: our nanny, and feeling so fortunate that we found her.  She is from Nepal and the family unit is such a huge part of her culture, which she brings into our home.  She and I have such a nice relationship (she loves Alex too!) and Vivi is so cute with her.  She often cooks for us, which is a huge load off for us on weeknights.  She’s just incredibly pleasant, warm, helpful and sweet.  We hit the jack pot for sure!

Reading:  The Rosie Project and itching to start the Martian since Alex can’t stop talking about it

Struggling with: the fact that Vivi is soo attached to Alex these days.  This has been hard on me lately, especially since I’ve been working longer hours these days.  Sometimes on these days that I work and Alex and I get home at the same time, I’m lucky to get in a quick hug before bed time.  She is seriously glued to him! And don’t get me wrong, it’s the sweetest thing ever, I just really miss those snuggly baby moments.  Guess I just need to have another one :)

Making me happy: little pockets of time I get to myself.  Sounds so selfish, but these days, it’s such a treat! Alex and I accomplish this by dividing and conquering, usually on the weekends.  We try to let each other have some alone time- usually in the form of the gym, nail salon, video games or just a run to a coffee shop.  It’s the little things that count these days and we try to be really supportive of each other’s need for some quiet time.

Excited for:  a girls’ trip to NYC this weekend! My friend Asya and her husband were over for dinner a few weeks ago and after a few bottles of wine, we decided to plan a little weekend getaway.  This will be my first overnight trip away from Vivi, but she’ll be with Alex so she’s in good hands!

[alexandhaley]

I’m a little over a month into work, and these past few days, I have been missing Vivi terribly.  I’m not sure if I’m just overly sensitive or emotional at the moment, or if it’s because my days at work have been longer lately (this is temporary) or if working is what I really want to be doing right now.

At first, I was really enjoying it.  In a selfish way, it’s nice to get back to who I was before becoming a mom.  Getting dressed, sitting in meetings, lunch/coffee dates with colleagues and just being back in a work environment that I truly thrive in.  Spending time focusing on something other than parenthood/household stuff has also been good for my mind. 

But now that it has all sunk in and we’re in our new norm, I just feel a little torn. Our nanny is still working out perfectly- she is wonderful! But even so, I still just wish I was the one doing it.  Grass is always greener, right? Maybe, maybe not, but in this case, I think I am learning a good lesson and might have needed this experience to learn what I really want to do during these years where Vivi (and hopefully other little ones to come) are small. 

I definitely don’t plan to change anything just yet, as I committed to this role for one year, but just wanted to share what I’m thinking right now. 

The funny thing is, as I sit here and think about it, is that no matter which role you choose, this is all a little hard at times. Regardless of whether I’m working, I’m learning that there may not be a happy medium for me (or maybe as more time passes, I’ll learn that working part time is) but that I just have to live with and manage the ups and downs of whichever role I choose as they come. 

Working at home for myself would be incredibly ideal, just need that golden idea to come along :)