I was listening to the song "invisible strings" and it got me thinking about why we find the idea of fated love and perhaps even the "forced proximity" trope so comforting. I mean, which one of us (that is interested in a romantic relationship) doesn't dream about our love being written in the stars and bound to happen? It is certainly interesting that something like a relationship, where free will is unbelievably crucial, is in fiction and our imagination often mixed with a non-existent sense of agency .
Listen, I am not a psychologist, I am simply a teenager with too much free time, but I think it has got a lot to do with our fear of making the first step and being an active participant in starting a relationship. Because it certainly is a comforting idea to think that no matter what you do (or don't do) and even though you would never confess your feelings first, the partner of your dreams will surely one day come knocking at your door, because fate will take care of that! Who wouldn't want to believe that? And I think the case with the "forced proximity" trope (or even the "arranged marriage" trope) is very similar, at least in fiction. It doesn't matter that you are too afraid to make the first move, circumstances will simply do that for you! You will be forced to dance with the hot stranger at the magical ball, and your evil father and his evil father will make a deal and force you to marry. And it will surely work out, turns out you two are a perfect match (I believe that the majority of people forced into arranged marriages in real life would tell you otherwise). And again, I understand the appeal. Because making the first step is scary. It means you have to be vulnerable and brace yourself for potential rejection. And when that happens, it hurts like hell. So this fantasy about fate doing all your work for you is incredibly seductive. In a way, this fictional situation is a way to avoid that very painful emotional vulnerability, at least in some ways.
The probability of something like that happening and working out in the end is (in my opinion) very low. But I think it is good to have that sense of freedom. Of knowing that our fate is not set in stone and that it is in our power to change at least some of it. It is good to be vulnerable, because otherwise love wouldn't feel real.
theartofmadeline