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Never Forget
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

#extradirty
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taylor price
đ©” avery cochrane đ©”
I'd rather be in outer space đž
official daine visual archive
sheepfilms
KIROKAZE
noise dept.
hello vonnie
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Interview Vampire Daily
Doug Jones
Lauren Shippen

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Origami Around
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@alexispereira
Rudy came through with the awesome suggestion. Â Thanks, Rudy!
Never Forget
Me and Beisbol Player Sean Casey doing some funnies.
She gets it.
The Man Himself, Benny Hill
Last night I had a dream about Benny Hill. It's probably because I had just spent 3 hours speaking in a British accent for an upcoming show, but as most of my comedy dreams go, I was performing a sketch to which I had forgotten the lines.
This may be surprising or entirely unsurprising but Benny Hill is my biggest comedy influence. When I was 6 years old I picked up his VHS from Blockbuster, which started a two year run where I'd get a new Benny Hill tape from Blockbuster every Friday night and watch it 6 times until it was due back on Monday. I realize now that this must have been the strangest scene: a 7 year old picking up a Benny Hill tape every Friday with his foreign father. Benny Hill, who spent more than half the time talking about sex and dancing with half naked women - which now happens to be one of my favorite pastimes.
One day in 1992 my parents took me for a drive. Of course, I was blabbering nonstop and casually mentioned Benny Hill, and my mom looked at my dad and turned around and said, "Alexis, Benny Hill died." I remember very clearly the explosion that went off in my stomach. It felt as though somebody dropped a textbook on my chest. I didn't cry though, or have any reaction at all. I just nodded and said "oh ok" and stared quietly until we got home. Now I can look back and say that at 8 years old this was my first experience with acute stress disorder, or shock.
The Daily News ran his death on the cover, and that night regular TV ran some of his sketches, including all his hospital sketches, which I thought was incredible. The large Benny Hill section was immediately pulled from Blockbuster, which made sense to me.
I didn't watch another minute of Benny Hill for almost 20 years, when I finally looked up some episodes on YouTube. It was embarrassing to see how much of his shtick I have stolen. Long periods of silence, funny faces, huge reveals that change everything, pride that immediately devolves into anger and frustration. He can never confidently get anywhere without a minor misstep. The host of a show? There's gonna be a wire or a loose step that he'll trip over and glare at but then continue. It's a line I often used when I coached and did improv, "Never fall, always stumble." Ricky Gervais, before his descent into madness, was just being a modern Benny Hill in The Office and Extras. Not to mention that me, Ricky and Benny didn't get laughs until we were 40.
I'm 9 years away baby and I am gonna crush it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqKp0n9sQiU
Would Rodney Dangerfield's character Thornton Melon from "Back To School" win the Republican nomination for President if it were held today? What about the Presidency entirely?
Good question.
I think Melon has three strengths that would give him a shot at the Republican nomination:
1. Heâs a successful and rich businessman.
2. Heâs an absolute war hawk.
3. Heâs anti-intellectual.
Unfortunately for Melon, heâd be considered weak on social issues such as drugs, abortion, and birth control. Ron Paul even falls to the right of him on those issues.Â
Melon would have to win Iowa based on his business experience and then N. H. with some Libertarian ideas. Heâd then need at least two ulta-conservatives to split the southern vote while he stays close, and then heâs gotta clean sweep the rest of the moderate states. Itâs possible, especially if he starts regularly going to a Christian church.
If the Republican nomination battle could clean him up, heâd be a tough out in the General. Of course, heâd probably turn off a lot of female votes. But heâd be able to gain sympathy through his story about his recently deceased ex-wife. Also, Independents would enjoy his personality and honesty. Blue Dogs would also jump over because they love candidates who took tough about war and trade.
So yeah, Dangerfield would be need to really clean up his Christian act to get the Republican nomination, but if he got it, heâs definitely President.
Did Donald Trump ask me this 4 years ago?
Nov 27th teams!
Buy a ticket for this Friday! Itâs the final Quarterfinal show.
Nov 27th
1. Morgan Grace Jarrett
Pat Regan, Brandon Scott Jones, Morgan Grace Jarrett
2. My Stomach
Matt Rubano, Ernest Myers, Â Alex Song
3. Â Kirchheimer
Ryan Simmons, Sarah Burton, Alexis Pereira
4.Shade
Frank Marasco, Nadia Garbosky, Meagan Walsh
5. The Noths
Liz Noth, Emilea Wilson (Noth), Patrick Noth
6. Â Shesus
Angela Bello, Andrew Chappelle, Mary McDonnell
7. Greasy Lake
Anthony Apruzzese, Daniel LoPreto, John Purcell
8. Wildcard #4
Game on.
Women of NYC
Fuck yes
This is a 30 minute podcast that aims to break down philosophy in easy to understand terms for the modern millenial. We've all had therapists and philosophy professors try to break down the unexplored
A new non-comedic podcast that we hope will help.
INTRODUCING AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER: Gold Money
Mandatory Reblog.Â
Africa
Colin Kaepernick Subway Commercial Outtakes (1:25)
Written by and Starring Alexis Pereira
with Marcus Bender
Shot by Kyle Kraner
Directed and edited by Meseret Haddis
David Bluvband is back with his most prescient album yet.
The Only Sane Person In Our Whole Goddamn Office Just Quit
Hey guys, can I get your attention for a second? I have some bad news: Tom, the only sane person in this whole goddamn office, just quit.
I know, I know. This is gonna be tough. We all remember how time and time and time again Tom used to save our asses from our illogical and downright preposterous preconceptions about technology and even work in general. Linda, remember when you said your printer wasnât working? We called IT and they said it worked fine, but then you said it still didnât work? It was Tom who realized the problem was that you were trying to print a YouTube video.
We were all shocked. Michael asked, âWhat if she hits CTRL+P?â and Tom explained that nothing anybody typed would print out pictures with words. Technology hadnât come as far as we needed it.
Luckily, Tom had.
Iâm sure you all recall the time I thought we could save money by using free trials of software. I said, âHey, itâs free, and free is cheaper than not free.â It was an ironclad case until Tom got wind of it. He gathered us in a conference room and told us the dirty secret about free trials: they end!
I still canât believe it. Why would you give out a free trial of something if youâre just eventually going to take it away? Seems illegal. I mean, what if we really liked the software or even grew dependent on it? Does that mean we have to buy it? According to Tom, the only person of sound mind within a 20 foot radius of this godforsaken office, the answer is âyes.â
Stanley, remember that day Tom was sick and you came up with an idea that we thought was so brilliant we started calling you the new Tom? I was so proud that day. An office with two Toms - weâd be unstoppable. But then Tom came back the next day and explained to Stanley, and to us, that adding more people to days when business is slow wonât make more customers come in. In fact, we should have less people working when business is slow or even not open on Sunday morning at 7am altogether.
That day we also learned from Tom that we should take a sick day when weâre sick rather than coming in and making everybody else sick. An unrare Tom two-fer.
This is all of course not to mention the countless pieces of new technology Tom introduced to us: headphones instead of listening to music out loud, deodorant, reusable water bottles, tissue paper, shareable online calendars, shirts without ties...the list goes on and on.
Hell, even while he quit, Tom taught me that you donât have to listen to personal voicemails on speaker phone at its highest volume. I thought that was the only way!
Weâll miss Tom greatly. And I hope to God for this officeâs sake, and for the sake of our souls, that we get another intern who is half as good as Tom was.
When Your Dream Ends
The following is a true story, as I remember it at least, from when I was a kid.
âWeâre having the bus stop moved.â
I was 15, and my 15-year-old neighbor and friend Gabriel had just come back with his family from the house they were about to buy. We lived in Queens Village, a lower middle class neighborhood in eastern Queens, NY, and they were about to move to Jamaica Estates, a decidedly upper middle class neighborhood 15 minutes away.
Moving on up.
They were a peculiar family. The father, Komal, was a Pakistani immigrant who got a job at McDonaldâs and worked his way up to assistant manager of two locations. The mother, Maria, was Puerto Rican, on her third marriage. She had three sons, each from a different father. Though he tolerated his two stepsons, 15-year-old Gabriel and 10-year-old Daniel, the father doted heavily on his only son, Ivan, then 5 years old.
Gabriel was excitedly telling me about their new large house. It had four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a huge backyard. The only issue with it was that there was a bus stop at the front, meaning strangers would be lining up on their front yard and they couldnât park on the street. Gabriel said it wasnât an issue.
âNobody wanted the house because thereâs a bus stop. Theyâre stupid. All you gotta do is go to City Hall and ask them to move it. They gotta do it. Itâs your property.â
I thought it was bullshit. If you could move a bus stop, nobody would want one in front of their house. But Gabrielâs family was the most determined family I ever knew.
When they first moved into Queens Village four years before, their Ford Taurus was stolen. It was an older model that didnât even have an alarm. They then spent the next 4 years making sure nobody stole from them again and they could get the hell out of QV.
They bought a 4Runner with LowJack. They erected high fences around their house. They bought two big dogs, a second one because the first one was too nice. Cable? Illegal. They rented out the basement, which was also illegal. There was even a rumor that they had an illegal phone with unlimited minutes. The father rarely spoke to his stepsons, so a family vacation was out of the question anyway. But according to them, vacations were a waste of money. Money they could put towards a sizeable down payment on a new house.
And that day had arrived.
âWe just gotta sign all the papers and flip this house.â
The end began with a doorbell.
It was after school, and I looked out my window to see Daniel. Daniel was a nice kid, but he had several learning disabilities and I wasnât exactly friends with him as much as he just hung around Gabriel when he came over. I was surprised to see him by himself.
âI canât get in my house,â he told me.
Apparently his mom and older brother werenât home yet, but Komal was home and not answering the doorbell. I walked Daniel over and rang the doorbell a few times. No answer. I let him watch TV in my living room until Gabriel picked him up.
âKomal is sick,â he explained. âHe was napping.â
I thought it was funny, and I told my mom the story later. She told me he had actually been sick for a week.
âOh Komal is very sick, he was very sick the day they had to sign the papers and Maria even told him to wait, but he insisted.â
I told my mom that that was risky since he might miss something on the contract. But he insisted on closing the sale and selling his QV house as soon as possible. He reached the finish line.
The next day he was dead.
One year before, Komal was diagnosed with leukemia. The doctor told him heâd have to go through chemo and itâd be a tough battle. Komal never went back or told anyone about it. I have no idea what his thought process was, but a part of me canât fault a guy who tries to ignore death as it rings his doorbell.
The down payment was gone. They could have moved in, but they had no money to make even the first mortgage payment. They didnât even bother moving and the bank foreclosed on them.
They lost their house. They tried desperately to keep it. With the rent from the basement and the salary Gabriel and Maria made from their new jobs, they had enough to cover their present mortgage. But Komal signed away the house. In fact, he signed it away at such a steep discount, so desperate he was to get out of dodge, that they only had enough to pay off the mortgage they owed.
Komal did have a small life insurance policy from McDonaldâs, but a lawyer contacted Gabriel and Maria and told them the hospital where Komal died mishandled his case.
âThe lawyer told us they wonât release the full paperwork. Why? Because theyâre hiding something. You gotta be smart with these hospitals.â
The lawyer asked for the life insurance payout as his retainer and they never heard from him again. They then moved, penniless, into a small two bedroom apartment in an even worse part of Queens.
Itâs a tragedy I often think about, with lessons I canât quite articulate. Â
Oh hell yeah boys it's our day.
New Pantry Boy video, âHalf a Cup.â 1:28
Starring Alexis Pereira, Joey Price, and Katey Healy-Wurzburg.Â
Written by Alexis Pereira, shot by Kyle Craner, directed by Luke Koz.
This is my headshot, by Sara Feinstein.Â