Alexx

Heyyy My random likes: Alex Rider books especially Yassen, anything whump, living weapons, never played COD but still love Ghost and Soap purely from fan fics, heated rivalry, the night manager

[wyvern-whiskey]

[rimfaxe]

Shower day :3

This idea has been in my vault for AGES, since this whole AU started i think. Like a hose wouldnt have the power yeh? a powerwasher it is!

[cod-dump]

Laswell: Alright, boys. Meet Sergeant Gary Sanderson Roach: *growls from the cell he's being held in* Laswell: He's... a little worse for wear. But I'm sure you can handle it Price, after staring at Roach for a few seconds: *to Ghost* I'm replacing you Ghost: WHAT!?? Price: *speed walks away* Ghost, following: WAIT- HOLD ON A MOMENT! JOHN! JONATHAN- Gaz: ... see? He has a co-dependency issue, and you want that focused entirely on you? Soap: ... well-? Gaz: Suds...

[just-barrow]

🧸🌲 57/∞

[cod-dump]

*in the rec room* Graves: *stretched out across the couch* Price: ... the way you're sitting is drawing attention to your dick Nik: Shhh, it's intentional Graves, crossing his legs: NO IT AIN'T- STOP STARING YOU PERVS Price: You're the one putting it on display! Graves: THE FUCK, JOHN? Nik: Oh, oh we're crossing into sensitive territory, dial it back-

[astheriiiart]

Happy pride month 🌈✨️

[mitrielle]

Sun-annihilated kissed

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Hen: Why do we have a twister mat hanging outside the station?

Harry: I couldn't find any pride flags and had to improvise.

Buck: Oh so that's why we're trending and getting called the pro tornado station on Twitter.

[rafflesandholmes]

Sherlock: Mother, there's something I need to tell you.

Cordelia: Yes, what is it darling?

Sherlock: I... I like men in the way most men like women.

Cordelia:... well, I should hope so, otherwise you would have been misleading James for quite some time!

[alexxdoubleonothing]

Viktor is such an underrated character, like everything he says is either funny, sarcastic or a threat

[kicks-sleep-paralysis-demon]

I'm currently moping because my partner is on another continent for vacation and I miss them a lot

I think if Hesh is on an assignment or just not home for a while Riley would be your #1 comforter. He would figure out a way to keep you company no matter where you are. He's practically stepping on your toes !

Hesh would come back to find you and Riley curled up on the couch or in bed fast asleep.

He can't help but take a picture or two to look at on long deployments <3

[rimfaxe]

It is VERY important to smooch your sergeant pre, mid and post mission.

I dont know what it is but i am so in love with this one, im so happy :3

[keppylo]

Best boss Graves and his Shadows:

Shadows and their tired best boss:

[rubyfirenight]

Soap: *Being annoying during sparring* Nico-Nico-Nii! Gaz: *On the same wavelength* Nico-Nico-Nii! Roach: *Woke up and chose violence* Nico-Nico-Nii Ghost: *Deadpanned* I swear if you keep doing that, I'm going to break your nico-nico-kneecaps. Price: *Turned them out a while ago.* Ghost, don't hurt your brothers.

[cod-dump]

Shadow 1: Hey, Lukes, look how the cap is standing

Shadow 2: Where- Oh my god- *starts laughing*

Shadow 1: Ya know he had to do it to 'em

Shadow 2: to the CEO-

Shadow 1 & 2: *laughing hysterically*

Graves: *staring at them stunned*

Shadow 1: Oh-

Shadow 2, still laughing: Hey, boss

Graves: ... I think I need a refresher on the gossip around base

Shadow 1, taking off running: I AIN'T A SNITCH

Graves:

Shadow 2:

Graves: If you run-

Shadow 2: Hold on, I'm pulling up the doc

[rubyfirenight]

Laswell: So let me get this straight-

Gaz: Bold of you to assume that.

Laswell: *Glares* As I was saying, Ghost doesn't have any passport, let alone legal documents.

Ghost: I've been legally dead for years, you should know this, Laswell.

Laswell: Roach never bothered to get a passport, even though he has been out of the country several times.

Roach: I couldn't be fucking bothered.

Laswell: Gaz's isn't from the UK, it's from Nigeria.

Gaz: Mum migrated over here when I was 5 months old. Been a citizen since I was two.

Laswell: Soap's is at least from the UK, but it's expired since the early 2000s.

Soap: Yep. Sounds about right.

Laswel: And Price has several?!

Price: My dad's Canadian, my mother's Welsh, and I was born on an Australian Air Force base. So yeah, Duel citerzenships. I keep them up to date too.

Laswell: I need to lie down.

[cod-dump]

SAS Official: I can't- You're done, Price! You're gone!

Price: *immediately starts taking off his gear*

SAS Official: What-

Price, setting down a pocket fire extinguisher: This is incase Sergeant MacTavish gets carried away. And he certainly will at some point

SAS Official: Wait-

Price, setting down a human muzzle: If you take Lieutenant Riley's masks away you're going to need this. Oh, and watch out for his emotional support knife

SAS Official: Wait, can we talk-

Price: Oh, and Sergeant Garrick will not be nice. Make sure my replacement doesn't cry easy... or make sure they have years of therapy under their belt

SAS Official: John-

Price, walking out: And I have a feeling that Chimera will be withdrawing their support, I know that for a fact. Have fun with Laswell!

SAS Official: JONATHAN-

[rubyfirenight]

Price, taking out a thick folder: This is all if Roach's insult in BSL so your pea-sized plebian mind can at least understand how he's cursing your bloodline

SAS offical: By the holy mary mother of god, please stop-

Price: Also make sure König takes his anti-pyschotic, anti-anxiety, anti-depression and anti-hallucinogenic medications beacuse he will either murder everyone on base and it will be a blood bath or he will end up sobbing in the corner, in either scenario, send Horangi on him.

SAS Offical: im gonna die-

Price: Speaking of Horangi, if he starts an underground gambling ring just make sure you or any other officals do anything stupid or act suspicious and it will die off on its own, but since your... you... That ring is going to stay strong.

SAS official: You just gestured to all of me-

Price: If Nikolai starts having a wierdly absurd amount of weapons, just ignore it or you'll disappear like the last one that asked question.

SAS offical: I'LL DISAPPEAR-!

Price: That bit also applys to Graves, if he does any extra shit, just let Nik know, he'll give me a call, we'll fuck him back down to an acceptable level. He just want attention that fucker.

SAS Offical: Wait please i think i fucked up!-

Price: Toodles~