Heard from the 118

Incorrectly quoting firefighters from the 118 fire station

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: I have a date tonight.

Eddie, scoffs: Good for you, I guess.

Buck: Oh, I forgot to ask you. It's good for us, actually. I'll pick you up at 6 pm. Wear that cologne I like.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Eddie while he moved back to Texas*

Sophia: So you wanna date again and need our help?

Eddie: Please don't make me beg.

Adriana: Women?

Eddie: Yes women, why are you asking?

Adriana: No reason.

Sophia: Let's read your grind- I mean, Tinder profile.

Adriana: You put traveling as your job?

Eddie: I mean, I'm an Uber driver, and depending on the day I travel a lot.

Sophia: So many lies Edmundo, let's see what we can do.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: You got to dinner on time last night?

Buck: Yeah, don't worry about it.

Eddie: Sorry for keeping you busy, but we had to take advantage of our time alone.

Buck: Hey, you needed help getting some holes on your wall fixed, and I was more than happy to help.

Eddie: Is that the excuse we're using?

Buck: Yup, just let me know when you need my caulk again.

Eddie, blushing: You're so dumb and we're so gonna get caught.

Buck: Hey, we'll tell the team and our families about us whenever you're ready but until then, let's have fun sneaking around.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Sorry I'm late, Eddie had an emergency, and I lost track of time while helping him.

Carlos, smirking: Hope you had fun "filling" his emergency, but you're fine, dinner isn't ready yet.

Buck: So I almost got pulled over for speeding for nothing.

T.K: Remember, you can de-escalate literally any situation by just asking "Are we about to kiss?"

Buck: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though.

T.K: Oh trust me, it does.

Carlos: Yeah, because I was the cop that pulled you over.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Albert carrying baby Nash in his arms and hugging Jee, Chris and Theo*

Albert: I feel so loved, I'm ready for another one.

Chim: None of those kids are yours.

Buck: Reminder that you're the uncle.

Maddie: Although you're welcome to get pregnant next.

Albert: If I could get pregnant I would, but sadly I can't, also I'm single.

Eddie: Love how being single is only the second problem in his mind.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Hey bud are you ok? You're a little quiet.

Chris: Just realized I'm a big brother now and I think I'm having a mid-life crisis!

Eddie: You're literally 15 years old.

Chris: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Chim: What did I tell you about hooking up at the station?!

Buck: Don't do it unless it was strictly necessary and since Eddie was ovulating, I think we can get away with a warning this time.

Eddie: In my defense this is just the scientific method in action.

Ravi: Congrats on that huge science tool, Buck.

Buck: Thank you, I grew it myself.

Hen: What was the hypothesis here exactly?

Eddie: Buck wanted to see if he could get me pregnant and so far the results are inconclusive.

Buck: But I won't give up!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Ravi: Hey Eddie, are you following the soccer world cup at all?

Eddie: It's called football and not anymore.

Ravi: Why?

Eddie: All of my teams got eliminated. First Sweden, then Mexico and lastly, deservedly so, the US. I have no team to root for.

Chim: At least most of your teams got close to the end, South Korea only played 3 games before getting eliminated.

Buck: I like the viking meme guy's team. Norway all the way. Hope he wins today's game.

Chim: Of course you like Haaland, he's probably a distant cousin in the Sasquatch branch of your family.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Buck and Eddie accidentally wearing each other's uniforms*

Hen: Did you two finally sleep together?

Eddie: No.

Buck: No.

Chim: Double negative, so that’s a yes.

Harry: Damn I was one day off.

Hen: Bobby's wisdom strikes again, he was the only one who got today.

Ravi: I'll get the Ouija board to tell Bobby he won the bet.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Thank you for meeting me on such short notice.

Carlos: We literally live with you, but please continue.

Buck: I have a salsa emergency.

T.K: The condiment or the dance?

Carlos: It doesn't really matter because I'm equipped for both.

Buck: I wanted to impress Eddie for our 1st date, so I told him I could salsa dance and I need to become a master by tomorrow.

T.K: Well you're in luck because Carlos is an excellent dancer and teacher.

Carlos: Put your hands on my waist vaquero and get ready to woo Eddie's pants off with your hips.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Buck and Eddie kissing after a dangerous rescue*

Chim: I sure hope someone picks up that phone.

Hen: What?

Chim: Because I called it.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Sophia: What's with that face? Aren't you normally happy after a run?

Eddie: I was late to running club and I had to do the track all alone at 7 in the morning!

Sophia: Then we need to add an optometrist appointment to your schedule because your calendar says "Running club 6:45 pm"

Eddie: What?! I'm such a dumbass.

Adriana: Oh, poor baby do we need to call Buck to make your ass feel better?

Eddie: He's coming around in an hour so no, you don't have to call him.

Adriana: Upseddie needs a nap and a juice.

Sophia: And whatever pastry Buck brings. Hopefully a churro.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Harry: Here you go, a nice hot cup of coffee.

Ravi: It's cold.

Harry: Nice cup of coffee.

Ravi: It's horrible.

Harry: Cup of coffee.

Ravi: I'm not even sure if it's coffee.

Harry: Cup.

Ravi: You used to be a barista Harry this feels a little pointed!

Harry: Skill regression is a thing that happens!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Hen: Why is Ravi cooking for us? Is not his turn yet.

Eddie: Apparently he's been dreaming up recipes so he wants to make them a reality now.

Hen: It better be something edible.

Ravi: Don't worry, last night I had a dream about a sandwich pizza that tasted amazing.

Buck: A what?

Ravi: You know, like pizza but with bread on top and bottom.

Buck: Oh, like a calzone?

Ravi: You can’t just name things I dream up. They're my dreams not yours!

Buck: Can we get a new probie? This one is defective.

Chim: Put it in my complaint box and I'll see what I can do.

Ravi: Hey! I'm not a probie anymore!

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Sophia: Eddie we're gonna be late, come out!

Eddie: Give me a minute!

Adriana, entering his room: Why are you taking so long?

Eddie, sweaty and out of breath: I, uh... can't find anything to wear.

Adriana, opening his closet: But you have lots of clothes. Let's see, shirts, dress pants, hi Buck, jackets, more shirts, and skin tight jeans.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

*Chim coughing up a lung in the background*

Eddie: That cough sounds awful.

Hen: Chim you didn't go to the dr did you?

Chim: I'm fine.

Buck: Is that blood?!

Chim: That's weird. I don't remember eating this much blood this morning.

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Eddie: What is the one thing we told you not to do?

Chris: Burn the house down.

Buck: And what did you do?

Theo: We made dinner!

Buck: ...

Eddie: ...

Chris: And burnt the house down.