alfur @alfvr - Tumblr Blog

i am mentally ill and occasionally suicidal

hw: 62

lw: 48

sw: 58

cw: 54

gw1: 55

gw2: 52

gw3: 48

gw4: 45

ugw: 42

things i plan on doing due to my self hatred, all of which i’m masking as self improvement or selfcare

wl obvi

getting more flexible

working out, focusing mostly on my RoM nd getting toned, so mostly using resistance bands and pilates

watching more movies

getting into philosophy

picking a language and learning it as my 2nd foreign tongue

fixing my annoying ahh speech

practicing my solfege and learning more difficult pieces in my own range

improving my range in the first place, my head voice is annoying and difficult to maintain, my high pitched sounds are annoying asf

been loving the way i do my makeup recently… grungy and messy but still flattering

I ❤️ DOWNERS

for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE, i lost weight during exam season. normally i never weigh myself to avoid crashing out but i couldnt help myself AND I WAS 53.5!!??!!!? no longer suicidal hot girl summer is still in

i wanna cut ive been thinking about it for days but my bf caught on extremely quickly theyre suspicious and my bsf knows

i still hate the act of smoking and its disgusting residue smell but i understand why every med student smokes LOL

i need alcohol so bad

ive began to cut and smoke and drink at the ripe old age of 21, i feel like if i did these as a teenager it would be accepted as a phase but now in adulthood i feel fucked