Going where the wind takes me

36, She/Her Art by @chaosblossoms on Discord

[greatlordfluffernutter]

just saw UNBEATABLE live for the first time the show was delayed by like 40 minutes cause the main vocalist was late and then when she finally got there the guy on keys had to restrain the drummer from killing her with his only arm for a minute until she calmed down then they start playing a song about how the singer can't hold down a job cause of her crippling ADHD while she effortlessly beats up hundreds of little white monsters with her mic stand and the twelve-year-old absolutely shredding on guitar helped out too and then the cops showed up and tried to arrest everyone so they started beating up the cops as well while everyone sang a song called YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH where they say yeah a whole bunch and after the cops all left or passed out they closed with a song about the singer's old situationship who used to spit on her so yeah overall they're my new favorite band

[melodies-stereo]

sometimes merely existing in the world as a trans woman with principles makes me feel like i'm going insane. what do you mean people think prisons are a good thing. what do you mean diverting from monogamy is considered ludicrous. what do you mean people think one's nature is unchangeable. what is considered 'normal' by the overwhelming majority of people is fucking topsy-turvy land to me. i dont understand it at all

[alicealongthewinds]

Embrace cringe. Kill the part of you that cringes (with knives).

[alicealongthewinds]

Pomni hugging the terrifying glitchy mess of Jax (in the darkness mind you) really shows she cares. This being the very form that horrified her in episode one. Even after seeing Jax's entire story in the circus she hugs her. These are the friends you need to keep close to your heart.

[nathaniel-prime]

So, this is gonna seem real obvious to a lot of people, but I just had a massive realization. I'm a cis male (for now, anyways, I just beat Fallout: New Vegas for the first time so only time will tell) and probably the straightest you'll see for a while. Like, I'm the kind of guy who's so straight it's a little gay. Anyway,

I just had probably one of the deepest moments of introspection I've had in a while where I kind of understood what it's like to live as a transgender person, and it's all because of Fallout 3.

I've been in a very Fallout mood lately for literally no reason, and after turning Vegas into an anarchist state and literally throwing a guy off of Hoover Dam I decided to have some fun in Maryland of all places, so I downloaded Tale of Two Wastelands and have been modding Fallout 3 into Stalker basically.

Because I've pretty much always played Fallout games as a man, I decided to switch things up a bit and play as a woman for once, so I've been going around imagining my character, the avatar that represents me in the game world, as a woman.

And EVERYONE keeps misgendering me.

So many NPCs have what feels like male-centric dialogue, like one of Reilly's Rangers saying I had a "tough guy" thing going on, slavers using profanity directed towards me that only really works with a man, and people in Operation: Anchorage literally refer to me as sir.

Every time they do, I'm immediately overcome with this feeling of either being the most clueless person in the room or the smartest, cause it's like "why are people so blatantly missing the fact that I'm literally not that gender."

And then when I was like scavenging or whatever it suddenly hit me that THIS is what transgender people put up with on a regular basis. I felt like Danny Devito in that one scene from It's Always Sunny where he's like "oh my god, I get it."

I can't believe, after nearly two years of being on Tumblr, even LONGER spent lurking in trans-adjacent spaces, that Fallout 3 is what actually conveys to me what it's like to be trans without even trying to. FFS Todd.

[alicealongthewinds]

It's raining, it's pouring, The bird girl is soaring, She made a nest to take a rest, With her partner who's quite adoring.

[alicealongthewinds]

Forming a positive workplace must be a difficult thing. You're put into a space with different people with different lives. You perhaps have a friend among them, but the rest? Strangers. People you want to know. People you want to stay away from you. Heck you might end up hating someone's guts. But all these people have to work together through the highs and lows for a job they might not even want in the first place. Probably aren't paid enough either. So anyway the Among Us TV show made me think about this.

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

Growing up transfemme but believing yourself to be a boy is crazy like you’re subject to constant violent misogyny without the even bare bones levels of support and when you crack under the pressure people just shrug and go “try harder to be normal” and then somebody calls you a slur and nobody seems to have a problem with that

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

Oh yeah also if you snap one day and deck one of your bullies even if they’ve left you with bruises and bloody noses and worse on multiple occasions everyone will suddenly treat you like you’re the fucking problem and all their useless anti-bullying rhetoric gets thrown in your face just to rub salt in the wound

The education system in this country is built from the ground up to kill trans women and will punish them on every occasion

[alicealongthewinds]

One time in middle school recess some boy told me to touch something on the ground. I touched it either out of curiosity or not wanting to seem like a wimp; turns out it was a condom (didn't know what that was at the time). After that I was more ostracized by others which ranged from a fake love letter taunting me for acting gay, someone refusing to sit with me at lunch, and being condescended for being weird. I didn't do anything about it, I just kept quiet and out of the way. That mantra followed me to high school where I proceeded to usually sit alone at lunch.

[hrjrjj]

[miyoria]

every tgirl is her own princess and she deserves to be treated as such

[alicealongthewinds]

Cross Over

Across the street and through the rain, a feeling deep down I need to contain. Over the sand, over the grass, but one more obstacle I must pass. Cross once more and do not flee. This bridge is not my destiny.

[alicealongthewinds]

I think I'm content to let Pokemon do their own thing since the online for Pokemon Champions doesn't require Nintendo's online subscription service BS.

[alicealongthewinds]

The time of year where I'm reminded to use bug spray or else I wake up with itchy legs. When I started wearing skirts most of the time I also learned what itches on my upper thighs feel like. The point here being mosquitos can and will upskirt you if given the opportunity.

[alicealongthewinds]

Four and a half years ago I nearly talked myself out of starting HRT, because I couldn't explain how I was feeling to my mother. Today I'm in a much better place being honest about being transgender. Happy 4th Year Alice. You'll never have to hide again.

[alicealongthewinds]

Me: Hm? Where were we just now? Also Me: Oh we regressed for 3 hours after making a phone call. Me: The important thing is mission accomplished.

[alicealongthewinds]

The first lunar mission in half a century happens and I feel nothing. Either I don't feel apart of humanity anymore, or new tech advances mean nothing to me in a sea of slop. Probably both.

[alicealongthewinds]

An hour into Fields of Mistria: This is scratching my itch for a cozy game. Though I probably will tire of it in a few days. 55 hours into Fields of Mistria: I wish I lived here...