Bro posts a mirror selfie every morning like he's unveiling a superhero physique, meanwhile the mirror is working overtime trying to fit his entire torso into one frame. The funniest part is the bicep flex. My guy will twist himself into a pretzel, hold his breath for twenty seconds, push his arm against the wall, find the perfect lighting, and somehow still end up looking like the before picture in a fitness ad. He captions it: "Summer body loading! 😤💪" Brother, summer body already loaded, several summers ago. Every thirst trap looks like he's convinced he's still the star quarterback from high school, while his shirt buttons are filing workplace safety complaints. He'll flex one arm so hard a vein appears for half a second, completely ignoring the fact that the rest of the photo looks like a family-sized pizza won the battle for territory. And the confidence is incredible. This fatso stares into the mirror thinking: "Yeah, they're gonna go crazy for this one." Meanwhile the only thing going crazy is the waistband fighting for its life. At some point it stops being a thirst trap and becomes a cry for help from the fabric industry. The biceps are saying ‘gym rat’, but the rest of the flabby body is saying ‘all-you-can-eat VIP member’. The real MVP isn't the flex, it's the phone camera for staying focused under those conditions.
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