aka things that fascinate me @aliensandcocaine - Tumblr Blog

All these positive posts on like “start your 2018 off right!” are nice and all but,, it’s also okay if ur 2018 doesn’t start off great. It’s okay if you’re sick in bed and grieving and haven’t showered in a week. You’ve got a whole year ahead of you to improve yourself and your life like,, it’s not a race. You’re allowed to take your time with healing and moving forward. I haven’t slept well in days so this might be unintelligible but hdbbwnaj I thought someone should make this post even if no one will see it. Good luck with ya new year people

george-daniel-smut

George drabble

this isn’t really edited, sorry in advance

The way they were looking at each other,

Eyes filled with such intensity she swore she could see his heartbeat in them, his tall frame lurking over her petite one. her narrowed eyes landing on his devilish smirk.

They stood there facing off with each other for a moment that felt like years. The way they were glaring at each other was nothing compared to how his lips felt on hers after she finally broke, yanking him down by the collar and into her. It was hungry, greedy, selfish. They shouldn’t have done it, he had a girlfriend for fucks sake. But the idea of Her being a few rooms away only made the spinning in her head worse.

His hands gripped her hips hard, pressing her into the door to his hotel room. As his lips trailed down her jaw to her neck she let out a small moan that turned into a giggle. Accustomed to her antics, he only paused momentarily before continuing to mark her collarbone with love bites. She rolled her head to the side, looking through the door to where She was staying, probably waiting up for George to return. but if her vodka soaked brain had any say in it he wouldn’t leave her bed until late morning tomorrow.

He leaned back, sliding his hands up her shirt while his gaze trailed down her body, eyes growing darker. She pushed him backwards to the bed slowly. pulling the hem of his shirt until he took it off before crawling on top of him. Rolling her hips into his, she quickly started to unbutton her shirt. He grabbed her wrists, stopping her, and a strange look passed over his face.

“Let me do it,” he mumbled as his fingers moved entirely too slowly down her body. Not that she really minded all that much, just meant more time to focus on his hands. Good god, those hands of his, a constant distraction in her life. Second only to his thighs. Another little chuckle escaped her lips as she leaned back, hands resting on his thighs, brain swimming through the liquor back to the memory of him on stage earlier that night. His casual confidence bleeding into the way he played, with that fucking smirk gracing his lips every time he saw his girl. The way he should have been looking at her. The look of pure desperation and greed he gave her now, though, put that to shame. She had him right where she had wanted him for so long now.

As he slid her blouse down off her shoulders his lips met hers, her hands resting against his jaw, stubble scratching against her palms.

Her skin on his was a feeling she didn’t even know she had missed this badly, she needed to prolong this moment, to keep him here with her all night. Trailing wet kisses down his chest to the button of his jeans, she paused there, leaving a light mark. The back of her mind was hoping she saw it tomorrow and it cause another fight. She pushed those thoughts away for now. This was no time to think about her of all people, not when George was under her in such a wonderful way. So she helped him wiggle out of his jeans before sliding her tongue up his thigh.

tkyle

Peppa Pig is not here for your lying ass, Susie Sheep.

randomleighcool-deactivated2017

BITCH!!! 😂😂😂😂

its-a-different-world

THIS IS IN MY TOP 10 FAVORITE CARTOON SCENES BECAUSE SHE GOT SO FREAKIN MAD, LIKE, SHE STRAIGHT SPAZZED MY GIRL SNAPPED AND BARELY SAID A WORD. PISSED.

falling-through-autumn

darling-child-tisarwat

Things I learned about California as a Floridian

Hills are apparently very tall and not called mountains until an interminable point which cannot be known.

There’s no water, but when there is water the Californians get very excited and point at it and say “Look! Water!”

The water that comes out of a shower in California is protected by an ominous duck wearing a hat that lives in said shower and threatens you if you use too much water. The amount of water that is too much also cannot be known.

There are no clouds, probably because there is no water. As a substitute you have fog that covers the entire road or smoke, from fires.

The bike lane is the turning lane.

The In and Out and Trader Joe’s ( usually located within walking distance of each other ) constitute approximately 70% of the Californian diet. The other 30% is made up of inedible plant material.

Even though Calfornians are as bad of drivers as Floridians, the pedestrians will stand in the middle of the road anyway, sometimes deliberately walking in front of cars. More amazingly, many of the cars actually stop when this happens.

The Big Red Bridge is, in fact, not located in San Diego. The Zoo is there, however.

Everyone hates LA, yet spends several years of their life driving there.

Dogs are allowed everywhere. This is basically it’s biggest selling point.

People in California love to wait in lines, especially for food. Even if several other eateries are open and within walking distance, Californians will continue to wait in line.

California has many public and community spaces, such as beaches and parks, that locals actually use. Most of these facilities seem to be in a reasonable state of repair as well.

Pilates instructors will come to your home to teach you Pilates.

The value of a home increases with proximity to The Sky as well as the likeliness that it will fall off a fucking hill. The more precariously perched and modern the home, the more expensive usually it is.

Even though they have a Disney, nobody goes to it and it isn’t considered part of their cultural identity. It’s just… there.

This is probably enough but I could go on.

jewishdragon

Excuse me

We don’t just have A Disney, we have The Disney, the original, the real McCoy. And we do go to it at least once in our lives as a right of passage. If you aren’t traumatized by Mr Toads Wild Ride (when a train hits you and you die, and a devil judge sends you to burn in hell) then you have done it wrong.

Thanks.

The rest of this is true.

Signed,

A born and raised Californian

glorious-scumbag

Addendum: There are no clouds, because apparently they are all in San Francisco, where we keep All the Clouds during the Summer

jewishdragon

You fool those aren’t clouds that’s fog, it is alive and it will consume you

the-glimpses-of-the-moon

*gently gathers everyone who writes Humans Are Weird/Space Orcs/Space Australians fics* WRITE A BOOK GODDAMMIT

deadpoolknitter-blog

JUST FUKIN DO IT

thereal-inspacewereallaustralian

Listen we’re working on it ok.

impalalord

It’s kinda hard with the conflicting timelines we’ve individually created but we’re doing the best we can

marlynnofmany

Guess what came out this summer!

I’ve read it. It’s great. A dozen short stories written by some very good authors, with That Original Tumblr Post as the introduction.

I’m sure there are tons of amazing novels in progress (including mine), and that will take time. But in the meantime, humans are weird short stories!!

scripturient-manipulator

YES

theravenofwynter

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the960writers

honestly, I’m shocked that I never heard of this!! why has nobody told me?

katsuko1978

Holy shit, @apollymi, I need this

dazebras

@dwarrowkings

usreadersshouldalsowrite

@read-write So we are going to the bookstore tomorrow as well???

myspaceorcs

How much does this cost? I think ill order it tonight

callmebliss

It’s $3.99 for the Kindle edition and $13.49 for the paperback: http://amzn.to/2xaSeZu

systlin

WHAT HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS

gaslightgallows

@rivendellrose THERE’S A BOOK!!!!!

stareyedraccoon

Salt is just tiny tasty rocks

yg-ou-deactivated20180202

tarathefeminist

My Twitter did a thing

lesbian-moon-gf

“take an art class and get depressed” got me fucked up rn

thriveworks

Tweets from Parents (see 15 more)

themaraudera

James: i won

Lily: i have you pinned to the ground

James: i know

ladofthelakes-deactivated202308

So my dad used to teach human evolution at the University of Minnesota, right? And his favorite thing was discussing Native American cultures and bashing misogyny.

So he’d start off class by going “Raise your hand if you think you know why men hunted and women stayed back in the settlements” and most kids would raise their hands. He’d list off a few various reasons and kids would slowly start participating. Then he’d go “How many of you think it’s because men are stronger” and of course most of the males would raise their hands with a few girls. He’d then proceed to rip apart the patriarchal views they had all been taught. “No,” he’d say, “It’s because if five men went out and three or two came back no one would bat an eye. They’d grieve sure, but society would go on. Now if five women went out and three or two came back you know what would happen? Society would collapse.”

And it was true. For many Native American cultures the only reason women did what they did was because the men couldn’t do it. We are (usually) taught a twisted, self-aggrandizing form of history despite evidence suggesting the complete opposite of it.

muchymozzarella

This was present in a lot of cultures in the past before white colonization (see: imperialism and genocide)

In Australia the Aborigines believed that women were more powerful than men and closer to gods because of their ability to give birth, and men would make themselves bleed just to be like women when they came of age

In the Philippines many people held practices which celebrated a woman’s first menstruation, encouraged free sexual exploration before marriage for young men and women, and believed women to be spiritual leaders, so that the only way a “man” could be one was to become a woman (transwomen were able and even encouraged to marry, and were identified as women within the community)

Also in the Philippines economic structures defined power, so a man who was poorer than his wife would take her name, and daughters would inherit and become heads of the family if they were the eldest

Westerners love to flout how great they are at women empowerment when it comes to other cultures that treat women badly, but actively try to hide the fact that there are thousands of other cultures who treated women better centuries ago than they do even today

And that’s a fact.

formerarsonist

Hello all, kind of a sad update today: One, we had to put down our childhood cat Pepper after several strokes and a blood clot in her leg. Two, my father received a letter from his employer saying he had been terminated because Liberty had denied him twice for disability. My father has been with that company for over 30 years, and for them to just terminate him because he is “not disabled enough” is really disheartening. My dad now has no insurance and will either have to go through the state or pay for medical out of pocket. He also still does not have any sort of income, and I’m not sure how we will access his 401k money now. Please, if you can, donate or share. Nobody should have to go through this.