A Life On Paper

a slow dive into the world we live in and the thoughts behind it

[alifeonpaper]

I never knew that people could be just as addictive as drugs.

And the withdrawals are worse.

[alifeonpaper]

You ask me “how I am”

Expecting a genuine answer, which I give

Which you instantly discredit and say: “no it’s impossible to feel this way”

Why ask questions when it’s not the answer you want to hear?

I feel like I’m fighting a war with you, like we’re on opposite sides

When really... you should be fighting by my side

So please, ask again. But rephrase your question.

So for once in your life, it doesn’t just benefit you.

Love,

Your Daughter

[alifeonpaper]

I can’t go back to days without you -

Back to not hearing your voice or feeling your kisses on the tip of my nose.

I can’t imagine my phone without your texts on it...

Nor can I imagine myself without you.

Knowing that one day we will become strangers again

Kills me.

[alifeonpaper]

I wonder if they hear certain songs

and think of me.

Just how I listen to the same songs

and think of them.

[alifeonpaper]

we fall asleep across telephone lines

wishing that the voice we were hearing in our headphones

was coming from the left side of the bed

[alifeonpaper]

falling in love with him was like an ocean wave.

you saw it coming from far way,

undeniable and constant.

and all of a sudden,

it crashed over you.

engulfing you fully and

forever

[alifeonpaper]

Y O U (with)

If I’m being honest

I don’t even fully know

What it means

To exist

(Without you)

And if I’m being honest

I never learned

Who I am

(With you)

[alifeonpaper]

Tired

Walking the pageant of life is

tiring.

Seeing the crowds on the sides

cheering and clapping with

venom in their eyes.

The burning of lights from the photographs

on my skin.

I’m so lost.

Where do I even begin?

[alifeonpaper]

What A Feeling

What a feeling it is

Falling

Falling in love

Watching snowflakes melt on his nose

And his cheeks scrunch up in delight

Hands, intertwined, under blankets

In front of a movie and coffee

Falling

Steadfast and in love

What a feeling it is

Knowing home is a person

And you have the keys

[alifeonpaper]

I see red whenever I’m with you

Red skies

Red water

Red heart

You see only black in my eyes

Black soul

Black life

Black heart

And you ask me why we fell apart

[alifeonpaper]

the ghosts we see out of the corner of our eyes

are just signs

signs of unrest or worry

of settlement and fear

we learn to live

with the person we see... but who disappears

when we turn around

[alifeonpaper]

we live on borrowed time

not even realizing that one day

it’ll come crashing down around us

we live on borrowed time

making friends and enemies

when nothing matters

we live on borrowed time

where every penny matters

but the world still seems so hellish

[alifeonpaper]

when is it my turn to be happy

when is it my turn to

not swim in an ocean of tears

when is it my turn to

find the sunlight

when is it my turn

when is it

when

[alifeonpaper]

it burns, it burns, it burns

it burns for hours

up and out it roars

orange tongues devouring

licking the walls

it burns

and with it

burn our hearts

[alifeonpaper]

cautionary tale

use me as your cautionary tale, share your life with mine.

use me as your cautionary tale, do not allow my mistakes to be yours too.

use me as your cautionary tale, sink into this feeling.

use me as your cautionary tale

[alifeonpaper]

if I ran for galaxies

and lightyears;

through space dust

and ashes of old planets;

if I leaped past stars

and materializing black holes;

I could never escape.

[alifeonpaper]

I used to compare your eyes to the sky

and now

I compare them to the void