a cracked facade

I've made a lot of mistake in my life, but if every single one had to happen to make sure I was right here--right now--to meet you, then I forgive myself for all of them.

[alinatravers]

{ winnie }‌:

There was one person Winnie wanted to attend the wedding reception with, and since she couldn’t she’d settled for dragging Blaise with her. She’d stuck with him for a little, before he’d managed to find his own friends and she’d bumped into Alina. Winnie was happy to spend time with the other – even if it was just as friends for the moment. Until the other excused herself, causing Winnie to become concerned. 

It didn’t take her long to follow after the other, slipping into bathroom she knew Alina would be in. At the sight of the other girl, Winnie’s eyes widened – she wasn’t sure what shocked her more, the sight of the bandages or that Alina was practically half dressed in front of her. She quickly recovered though, and Winnie shook her head. “Alina, I figured you had more injuries that what you were letting on,” She admitted, taking a cautious step towards the other. “You know that doesn’t change my opinion of you, right?”

“Did you expect me to show you all the injuries,” she snapped, keeping her gaze adverted. Alina knew she shouldn’t have been angry with Winnie, she was just checking in on her, but there was a deep embarrassment to getting caught like this--so unkempt and vulnerable. Taking a shaky breath, she hung her head, trying to remind herself that she didn’t need to get defensive just because of the ingrained discomfort of appearing weak to others. “I’m sorry,” Alina said softly. Every nerve in her body wanted her to storm out or yell at the other to leave, but Winnie had a way of keeping her calm and allowing her time to find her words.

“I-I--” Her voice wavered as she tried to speak again, causing her to shift on her feet and wince as she moved her side too much. “I don’t like needing help, Winnie.” She finally looked up. With her eyebrows pinched together, and slight discomfort coloring her features, she leaned back against the sink. “My mother always told me that I was weak if I couldn’t do things on my own. And that showing weakness was...” She trailed off, closing her eyes as she shook her head. All this and more--she didn’t want Winnie seeing everything her cousin had done, she didn’t need that. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

[alinatravers]

{ emrys }‌:

“Oh, now you’re breaking my heart. Here I thought we were going to be best friends for life – or wait, that’s my sister, isn’t it?” He teased, shooting her a wink. “I could think of worse people to deal with,” He told her honestly with a laugh. “Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, Cain is scarily good at duelling. He may act like an idiot but he’s actually pretty smart. Though I think that’s just a general rule for our family. Anyway, I wouldn’t advise trying to take him in any situation, he may be a disaster, but he’s training to be a hitwizard like my grandfather.”

“I don’t have best friends, Emrys, just people I tolerate more than others.” Despite the matter-of-fact tone in her voice, Alina flashed him a small smile before looking up at the ceiling again. “Well, then it will be quite some time before I am able to duel anyone,” she said, her voice a bit softer. She was a very good dueler, not many people knew that considering she was taught to hide her love for magic in lieu of seeming to be more perfect. After a moment, she cracked a smile, shaking herself out of the thoughts. “I think I could take him. I know all of your family’s weakness.”

[alinatravers]

{ blaise }‌:

Blaise figured that he should go to find Alina at some point, apologize for what he had done and thank her for agreeing to keep his secret when she owed him absolutely nothing. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to. When she had been in the hospital wing, he had come till the doorway several times before he turned around and left because he couldn’t bear to face her. He was glad that she wasn’t turned though, atleast she had escaped the worst case scenario – but that didn’t make him feel any better, he still wished he could go back in time and fix it. It was on one of the days during Easter holidays when most of the students were home did he see her in the library and decide that he had to go speak to her. And before he could change his mind, he went over to where she was seated but still kept a safe distance so as not to startle her. He doubted she even wanted to see him. “I am sorry, I hope I am not bothering you.” he mumbled, unsure what he should tell her. @alinatravers​   

She wasn’t usually one to spend time in the library, but with everyone gone on break, or spending time away from school work, she didn’t have to worry about anyone bothering her. On the same hand, she’d been in the Hospital Wing and missed a good bit of her homework before break and she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus alone in her dorm. Alina was deep into an essay when a voice startled her, causing her to jump and look up, spotting Blaise. She stiffened slightly, though she struggled to see the similarity between the monster that attacked her and this boy that kept his distance from her. “I’m catching up on homework,” she said after a moment, her eyebrows punching together. “But if you’re here to tell me to keep your secret, you should know the nurses already lectured me.”

[alinatravers]

{ @winnieabbott​ }

If she was being completely honest with herself, she had only decided to attend Sirius and Mary’s wedding in order to see Winnie. If it hadn’t been for the other girl, she would have stayed tucked away in her room and rest, but she knew she would only get a few moments like this with her, so she took advantage of it. As soon as she’d gotten to the event, she had staged a run in with Winnie, knowing she could play it off if they’d just accidentally run into each other and just remained together as friends--something people had begun to learn about them, that they were friends. They’d been sitting together at the reception, making conversation, when she felt her bandage shift. Alina had been unable to focus on the conversation, so she quickly excused herself and made her way to the bathroom.

Alina had never been the one to change her bandages--she couldn’t twist her side too much or stretch her neck without the wounds threatening to reopen--but in the middle of such an event, she didn’t have a choice but to try to fix it. She hissed when she felt the bandage on her side rip and knew she had to unzip her dress and replace it completely. Facing the mirror, she tried to wrap the bandage around her waist, but it was slow going, pain flaring up every time she shifted. She’d gotten halfway through wrapping the bandage when it unraveled and she had to start again. Just as she was about to start again, the door opened behind her and she cursed, clutching her dress to her chest and turning around. “Shit.” Alina’s voice was tense, her gaze adverted from Winnie, who was now standing in the doorway “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

[alinatravers]

{ kingsley }‌:

Kingsley had been surprised to find out that his parents had invited the Travers family for Easter dinner. It shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise, but with Alina still healing, the surprise came when they actually accepted the invitation. However, despite his worry for her, everything seemed to go well. The conversation was polite, pleasant, and now, Kingsley and Alina got to go back to Hogwarts.

Once they were finally back and inside the castle, Kingsley let out a breath of relief. A smile formed on his face as she linked her arm with his, and he looked down at her, nodding a bit. “Of course.” He said first. He understood why she wouldn’t want everyone to see - it wasn’t something that they were all raised to show in public. And if there was a charm to hide it, he didn’t blame her for wanting to use it. “I understand. I’m glad you were able to come, though… I’m not sure how interesting it would have been if it was just my family. At least when there’s two of us we can talk to each other.” He joked a bit, quite aware of how dull those Shacklebolt family dinners could be. “Tea sounds great.”

She didn’t want to let on just how exhausted she was, but she had no wish to go back to her dorm alone just to sit and stare at the ceiling. Feeling the illusion charm beginning to waver, she decided to go ahead and let it fall, putting her bandages on display and giving herself a bit of energy back. “My family dinner would’ve been entertaining, but not exactly in a good way,” Alina said with a slight smile, leading them toward the kitchens. “I’m glad it wasn’t just me with my family.”

It didn’t take long before they were outside the kitchens and she was reaching up to tickle the pear and watch the door swing open. She let go of his arm as she stepped inside, immediately moving to lean against the counter, resting for a moment. Her palms pressed flat on the counter-top, her eyes closed for just a brief moment before the thought of her mother flashed across her mind. If she had been around her mother and had showed any weakness, or failed to be the perfect betrothed by not fetching Kingsley a cup of tea, she would have been furious. “I can make us some tea, just give me a moment.”

[alinatravers]

alina manon travers - siry wedding

outfit ;; champagne dress with baby pink accessories

[alinatravers]

{ winnie }‌:

Concern laced Winnie’s face as the other winced. “Are you sure?” She murmured, panic seeping into her tone when the other said she was okay. She hated seeing Alina like this, seeing the other girl hurt broke her heart. Her expression softened as the other admitted to wondering too, a soft smile curving at her lips. “You– You weren’t ready, and I respect that,” Winnie told her quietly, cheeks colouring at the mention of the kiss. They soon darkened as the other spoke again.  I will kiss you again. “I’d like that very much,” She murmured, teeth tugging on her bottom lip as her smile grew wider.

“Mhmm,” she hummed, nodding her head ever so slightly. “I’ll be fine.” Alina couldn’t keep track of how many times she’d said those words while ignoring her pain, lying through gritted teeth just so she didn’t have to admit how scared this made her. But she looked up at Winnie, and she didn’t feel so scared any more. Not with their pinkies still linked and the face staring down at her. Alina’s gaze fell to her mouth, watching Winnie bit her lip and smile wider than she’d ever seen directed at her before. If she could, she would’ve leaned up and kissed her right there--and she almost did--but the pain on her side and the sight of one of the nurses approaching stopped them. “It’s a promise I intend to keep, Abbott. Once I’m out of here.”

[alinatravers]

{ katrina }‌:

Katrina knew that Alina was grown up, and could take care of herself just well enough, but she couldn’t help but be worried about her sister. She was still annoyed that she didn’t know who had attached Alina, yet it was best to take everything one step at a time and slowly get the information out. And one of those steps was simply to make sure that Alina was comfortable. She didn’t even think twice before insisting that the girl spends her days in her room, all so that Kat could take care of her, and make sure that nothing was wrong. Sure, Alina was out of the hospital wing, which meant that she had to be on the road to recovery, but Kat couldn’t be too sure. “It still wouldn’t be the worst that had happened to me in this room.” Kat joked as she let Alina in, her own eyes trailing over the bandages. She should’ve insisted they find a way to get Alina there without having the girl move too much. She should’ve done more to make s ure that she was as comfortable as possible. “I’ve got enough food to spend a whole week in here. And my bed is pretty comfy.” She reasoned, leading Alina over to her bed. She was scared of touching her sister, in case she’d end up accidentally hurting her, but she still wanted to be there for her.

“Now I’m curious to know what the worst things that happened in this room is,” she said, pausing for a moment before shaking her head. “Actually, that might be too much information.” She stepped into the room, her shoulders visibly relaxing now that she knew she wouldn’t have to pretend. No one else was here, no one else was watching her every move, she could just rest and spend time with her sister. “I brought some clothes. I figured it wouldn’t be too long of a walk if I needed to get more.” Despite relaxing, she didn’t want Katrina to truly know how injured she was, even if she knew her sister wouldn’t judge her, the worry was still there. The bandages on her arm and her torso were covered with her clothes, and she’d been adamant in the Hospital Wing that visitors not be allowed while she was being treated, but now that she was out, it was harder to avoid curious looks. Alina moved to the bed and sat down, allowing herself a moment to breathe before she looked up at Katrina. “You don’t need to become a shut-in just for me.” A small smile tugged at her lips. “Just think of this as one of our wine nights, okay? We don’t have to address the current situation.”

[alinatravers]

{ cordelia }‌:

The grin lingered on her lips, despite the tone of the other. Through the years, Lia learned to not get herself affected by the bad moods of others. “I’m aware of that. I just figured you might need some cheering up.” She shrugged before placing a packet of Bertie Botts beans on the bedside table. “And typically, sweets work great for that.”

She kept her face neutral as she turned to look at what the girl had set down. Part of her wanted to smile and appreciate the gift for what it was, but the other part of her knew it was probably just a pity gift. “Well, thanks,” Alina said as she turned away, her gaze falling to her lap. “Though, I think Madam Pomfrey would say that sweets have no medicinal properties.”

[alinatravers]

{ emrys }‌:

“What like, dying?” The boy joked, wiggling his brows at the other. “Oh, I didn’t realise we were best friends that told each other everything, Travers. Shall I start braiding your hair in a moment?” He teased, but the smile faded from his lips as she inhaled sharply, concern lacing his features. “Doing what?” He feigned innocence, before letting out a laugh. “Oh I’d pay to see you take on Cain.”

“We’re not close, I’m just nosy,” she said with a smirk, her head turning to look at him. “I don’t think I’ll be taking on anyone anytime soon, so you’ll just have to put up with me while you’re still in here too.” Alina sighed slightly, regaining control of the pain and letting it dull before she chuckled--as much as she could while avoiding injuring herself more. “As much as I hate to admit it, Cain would win during the current situation, but maybe one day.”

[alinatravers]

{ claire }‌:

“She is the worst guard.” Claire rolled her eyes. She sighed as the other claimed to be fine, she doubted if that was anything close to the truth. But she also didn’t know how to make her tell her to truth without being her signature annoying self. She figured that was not what Alina needed right now. “Not staring, I promise.” she said with a smile but I can hang out here for a while if you want the company?” 

She nodded, using her uninjured arm to shift to one side of the bed, patting the now empty space. “Join me,” she said quietly, knowing it’d be fine if she kept Claire on her less-injured side. “Everyone’s been afraid to touch me, as if I’d break. So don’t say you don’t want to hurt me and just join me.”

[alinatravers]

{ winnie }‌:

A soft smile graced Winnie’s lip as she looked at the other, eyelashes fluttering. Her heart was warmed by the gesture, the intimacy between the two of them. As the other mentioned she was confused, Winnie frowned. “It was very cool hair,” She teased lightly, before shaking her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t try and talk to you sooner. Makes me wonder how much time we’ve missed,” She admitted, chewing on her lower lip. “After our first conversation, I knew I had to befriend you. Not only were you beautiful, but I just – there was something about you I was drawn to,” She admitted shyly. “I know that feeling, but I don’t want you to rush into things, or feel pressured. I will wait as long as it takes, Lina.”

Alina laughed at the other’s frown, quickly wincing as the laugh sent a flare of pain up her side. She stilled for a moment, her free--and uninjured--hand resting on her stomach and toying with the edge of the bandages as the pain died back down. “I’m okay,” she said before Winnie could even ask. She took a beat before she smiled up at her again. “I wonder that too,”she said softly. It was true, she realized, how often she wondered if she should have reached out to Winnie sooner, or if she should have had the hard conversation with herself about what being attracted to her meant. “And I wonder if I should have kissed you sooner.” Her voice wasn’t much more than a whisper, still very conscious of the fact that the Hospital Wing wasn’t as private as she’d like. “The next time I kiss you will be special. Not in the middle of the Hospital Wing, no matter how much I want to--but I will kiss you again, Winnie."

[alinatravers]

Usually, Alina would’ve been worried about not going home for breaks. Every day she avoided her mother was a another strike against her, but she simply couldn’t stand the idea of going home, wrapped in bandages and her injuries still healing, just for her mother to chastise her for not being put together. So, other than the dinner she agreed to attend with Kingsley’s family, she stayed at Hogwarts. She spent her time with her sister, the quiet of her own dorm too similar to the Hospital Wing for her liking. The break was a welcome reprieve from their family drama, and a welcome few days without being under the scrutiny of others. The first few days out of the Hospital wing were tough on her, though she didn’t want to worry her friends, so she’d make excuses, but her sister was far better understanding. It took most of her energy just to walk to Katrina’s dorm, but once she got there, she felt more relaxed than she had in a couple weeks. “Don’t blame me if I fall asleep on you,” Alina said lazily as the door opened, checking to make sure her bandages hadn’t shifted. “It seems like that’s all I can do right now.”

@katrina-travers

[alinatravers]

It had been a long two weeks of healing. When she hadn’t been sleeping, she was woken up for a potion, salve, or a bandage change. During those times, she was usually in too much pain to go back to sleep and would stare at the ceiling above her and think about everything she wanted to do once she was able to leave. What she hadn’t expected, was that her first outing would have been an Easter dinner with her betrothed’s family. It certainly beat having to go home and deal with her mother’s disapproving look when her illusion charm inevitably fell and her bandages could be seen.

Thankfully, the Easter dinner with the Shaklebolts had gone off without a hitch and she’d been able to remain composed enough that her illusion charm hiding her bandages hadn’t wavered. Alina was walking back through Hogwarts’ doors, her uninjured arm linked in Kingsley’s and a soft smile on her face. “Thank you,” she said quietly, leaning into her friend. “I know it’s silly, but I didn’t want them to see...everything.” A deep sigh left her lips and she knew the illusion charm was starting to falter—it was taking too much of her energy to keep it up. “What do you say to some tea before we part ways?”

@shackleddking

[alinatravers]

{ winnie }‌:

“You don’t have to look after me, I wouldn’t wish that burden on anyone,” Winnie told her quietly, staring down at their pinkies. Winnie stayed quiet, not entirely sure what to say to make this better, even if she so desperately wanted to. As the other spoke again, Winnie’s gaze drew upwards, brows knitting together at the other’s admission. The fainest smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head. As Lina reached out to her hair, Winnie found herself leaning into the girl’s touch. “Fifth year?” She echoed, the smile on her lips growing. “You liked me since fifth year?” She almost couldn’t believe it, with how much the other used to push her away. “I-Cain helped me. He’d recently dyed his hair black, and I wanted to be just like my cool older brother. He managed to convince me one streak was cool enough,” Light laughter escaped her lips as she shook her head. “I wish you’d talked to me back then. I’ve always thought you were so pretty, but way, way out of my league.”

Her face softened as she looked up at Winnie. “You’re not a burden. Not to me.” Now that her hand had dropped back to the bed, the back of her knuckles running along the other’s hand before she linked their pinkies again. “I was confused,” Alina said as she looked down at their hands again. “Well, that’s what I’d always been told about these things. That people were just confused, so I told myself I was jealous of you.” She let out a small laugh. “You and your effortless smile and cool hair--you were off limits.” Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she let her fingers idly trace lines across Winnie’s knuckles. “And then you kept trying to befriend me and you told me you liked me and I couldn’t tell myself I was jealous anymore. I was far beyond that.” She finally looked back up, her voice becoming not much more than whisper. “This is far beyond a crush I can ignore, Winnie.”

[alinatravers]

{ claire }‌:

“Fuck off.” Claire told the girl Alina was talking to before she hurried over to the blonde. “You’d think they’ll be a little more strict about who they allow inside the hospital wing.” She shook her head in exasperation, they wouldn’t be having this problem had they been in Ilvermorny. Hell, Alina won’t have been fucking attacked by a wolf had she been there. “We should complain against the school, they are so lax with security. This is a place supposed to keep us safe.” she rambled on before a small sigh left her lips. “Are you feeling any better?” 

Alina swallowed the lump in her throat as Claire ushered the girl, her head turning slightly away from her friend. “Madam Pomfrey isn’t exactly the best guard.” Her voice was soft as she stared at the ground next to the bed. Even with how close she and Claire have been over the years, there was something embarrassing about the bandages covering her right cheek. “I’m fine,” she found herself saying, the words feeling odd for how many times they’d passed her lips. Alina knew no one believed her when she said it, but she had to try to make them believe it. “I’m just not too keen on being stared at.”

[alinatravers]

{ emrys }‌:

“Ouch, you’re breaking my heart, Travers, I might cry,” He teased with a grin, wincing slightly as he did so. The boy watched her intently, his lips curving into a frown as he wondered what had happened to her – and how his sister was taking it. He knew she cared about the other after all. “Well damn, we’re both out of luck I suppose then,” He mused, before letting out a laugh. “S’alright Travers, my sister probably cried enough for the both of you,” He turned to face her, a knowing smirk curving at his lips, before it faded. “It’s Cain. You’ve met the stubborn bastard. Do you really think he’s going to come around?”

“You’ve survived worse.” She almost smiled, but bit her lip to stop herself as the nurse came back with more bandages and began unwrapping her arm. “If you ever remember what happened and you don’t tell me, I’ll kill you myself.” Alina inhaled sharply as the nurse applied the salve to her arm, causing the wound to sting. “You’re doing this on purpose,” she said with a glare. Then, she heard Emrys mention Winnie and she turned to look at him. “I don’t give a shit if he wants to believe you or not. Winnie believes you and she needs her family. If Cain doesn’t come around, I’ll hunt him down myself once I’m out of here and make him talk to her.”