Things I Have Said
You guess which ones are real, and which are not. (Hint: )
“I’m gonna… I’m gonna put some dirt in his eyes.”
“My soup! Wait, that’s not my pot. Why is my soup not in my pot?! Oh, false alarm, that’s just melting ice crea— why would anyone leave ice cream to melt!?”
“So you see, I was born at a very young age.”
“Do I have lungs?”
“This guy's name is the Joker? Does this mean that his parents were Go-Fish and Uno?”
“I’m not dumb, just an airhead. There’s a difference… I think.”
“I’m not a metagene.”
“My English is not English-ing, my brain is not brain-ing, my life is not life-ing, my boyfriend is not boyfriend-ing, and my dad is not responding.”
“I know who you are! You’re Eggman!”
“Bro, you look like you just had a very deep moment with the floor.”
“Oh, yeah, I stayed quiet about the whole broken-arm thing because I thought you were having a main- character moment. Don’t worry, I have them, too.”
“Are Hansel and Gretel overweight? I feel like they’d be overweight.”
“Is going to Mass the same thing as eating God?”
“Does this mean that Superman is Sonic the Hedgehog but humanoid alien edition?”
“Why can’t I eat furniture?”
“Yerp.”
“Is a corgi just a really fat, dog-shaped cork?”
