let's get these teen hearts beating

faster, faster.

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          jasper smiled as he listened to the other’s story, turning his gaze to him. overall, he was grateful for his company. everything felt lighter when he was around him, all of his troubles seeming significantly less crushing as soon as he stepped in the door. alistair was in a bubble away from the rest of his life, away from his family, away from everything that felt heavy. but as he studied the younger’s features he felt a pang of guilt, thoughts floating back to the last time they had spoken in this room. ‘ it wasn’t exactly the bike that made you sound like a prick, it was more, uh–– everything else, ’ he told the younger, raising an eyebrow as he watched for his reaction. ‘ you just give bad first impressions, i guess. but, uh–– i’m sorry. for making fun of your bike. i get why things like that are important. ’ he fell silent for a moment, his eyes still fixed on him. he felt selfish for wanting anything with the other, friendship or otherwise. it didn’t entirely make sense, he had other friends. other people in his life he didn’t feel he was betraying by merely spending time with them, by getting close to them. but everything with alistair felt different.

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      alistair grinned. listening to jasper speak was becoming one of his favourite hobbies. if he were to say anything bad about himself, jasp would come in with reassurance. 

“you know, most times first impressions get me laid,” he said, looking over at jasper, intrigued to find the other looking back at him. “what?” he asked, running his tongue over his bottom lip before cracking another wide smile, “was that inappropriate?” 

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          jasper smiled down at the other, doing his best to put his thoughts to the back of his mind. ‘ i’m sure you’re not boring, ’ he said, moving to lay down beside him. ‘ no one really is nowadays. i mean–– if you’re still boring eleven years into an apocalypse that’s kind of an accomplishment, if you ask me. ’ he stared up at the ceiling, falling silent for a few moments. he had started to enjoy alistair’s company more and more over the last few weeks, especially now that every second sentence wasn’t some kind of flirtatious remark. ‘ i don’t mind if it’s boring. i did ask you to talk.  ––– what about the bike ? ’ he asked, turning his head to look at the younger. ‘ y’know, the one you said was important. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

       alistair thought back to their first meeting and laughed, looking beside him at jasper’s profile, “the bike? that legendary beast? of course i can tell you stories about that bike,” he said running a hand over his face, wearing a wide smile. “i got the bike as a christmas present when i was seven. it was beautiful and blue and i had to learn to ride it in and around our kitchen. dad’s driver helped me at first, but when i was good enough i kind of just went for it,” alistair said, speaking quick, but getting quieter by the end of his story. “i know this made me sound like a prick, but that bike was like, my best childhood memory.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth while he avoided the younger’s gaze, the tips of his ears turning a light pink. ‘ right, ’ he mumbled, mimicking alistair’s movements by picking at the sheets. ‘ i don’t think i’m a mystery you necessarily want to SOLVE. ’ there were so many things about his life that he couldn’t tell him, that he couldn’t tell anyone. and in the mean time he felt like he was falling apart, like he was in a nightmare, unable to shout out for help. and on top of all that he felt like a LIAR. not only because of the facts about his brother he refused to admit, but his own crimes too. ‘ besides, like you said, i’m an awful storyteller, ’ he told him, a small grin dancing at the corner of his lips as he looked up at him. ‘ i don’t know much about you either, y’know. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

     alistair laughed and nodded once, “you ARE an awful storyteller,” he said, looking over jasper’s complexion for a reaction before continuing. “i’m an open book, jasp, ask me anything and i’ll tell you.” he shrugged before laying back on the bed, flicking a lazy gaze towards jasper, “i’m kind of boring though, jasp. average pre-life, average post-life. dead parents, a sexual awakening on the road AND a tent to myself. not much more you’d want to hear.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          jasper shifted slightly on the bed, trying to concentrate on the words alistair was saying rather than the constant and daunting dialogue happening inside his head. the days events had left him broken, the weight of the world finally crashing down on top of him, and he felt as if he deserved every bit of it. but he tried to listen to alistair, tried to let his voice take him away from everything happening inside of him. on his last comment, jasper exhaled a small puff of laughter, looking up at the other for the first time in a few minutes. ‘ y’know, i really don’t get why you’re so fond of me, ’ he admitted, diverting his eyes back to his lap. ‘ it’s not like i’ve done anything SPECIAL. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

       “yeah, but maybe that’s why i like you so much,” he said, pivoting to face jasper, “you’re like a mystery to me and every new fact i find out intrigues me more than the last.” alistair picked at the sheets aimlessly, looking over the profile of jasper’s face, “i really don’t think you give yourself enough credit, jasp. you’re pretty incredible.”

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

@traitcrs said: ‘thanks for not blowin’ my head off.’

      “yeah... no problem, it’s all in a day’s work. what the fuck were you even doing, anyways?”

[lazarusarchived-deactivated2017]

“the last of us” inspired sentence starters

change pronouns/ect if necessary

“i sell hardcore drugs.”

“we need help.”

“you’re gonna be okay.”

“believe in the fireflies.”

“got enough ration cards to last us a few months.”

“be careful.”

“i am the romantic type.”

“don’t leave me to turn.”

“it’s gettin’ close to curfew.”

“going outside the wall is suicide.”

“you mumble in your sleep.”

“i hate bad dreams.”

“it’s called luck—and it’s gonna run out.”

“are you still breathing?”

“we’re shitty people.”

“our luck had to run out sooner or later.”

“don’t touch me.”

“she’s infected.”

“just fucking go.”

“i can’t swim.”

“does it sound like i know how to whistle?”

“i’m a pretty good shot with that thing.”

“let’s get the hell outta here.”

“goddammit—i’m clean!”

“i owe you nothin’.”

“there’s one inside.”

“it’s the normal people that scare me.”

“you of all people should understand that.”

“i can handle myself.”

“once upon a time, i had somebody i had to look after.”

“you don’t need to worry about me.”

“fuckin’ hunters.”

“i’ve been on both sides.”

“so–you kill a lot of innocent people?”

“you sacrifice the few to save the many.”

“i don’t think they saw us.”

“trust me, it ain’t easy.”

“damn it—spores.”

“somethin’ on your mind?”

“you make every shot count.”

“just so we’re clear… it was either him or me.”

“how’d i do?”

“yeah, well, i was tryin’ to kill you.”

“you’re bleeding.”

“we can help each other.”

“i saved you!”

“you wanna hear a joke about pizza? …never mind, it was too cheesy.”

“how is it you’re never scared?”

“what are you scared of?”

“i’m scared of ending up alone.”

“it’s all your fault!”

“thanks for not blowin’ my head off.”

“you survived because of me.”

“you lay your hands on me again, it won’t end well for you.”

“you still remember how to kill, right?”

“hey, hey—are you hurt?”

“i guess we’re both disappointed with each other, then.”

“what do you want from me?”

“i can’t get infected!”

“you are treading on some mighty thin ice here.”

“i’ve lost people, too.”

“you have no idea what loss is.”

“everyone i’ve ever cared for has either died or left me.”

“sounds like runners.”

“can you walk?”

“stay the fuck back!”

“i think we’re safe.”

“you’re a better shot with that thing than i am.”

“don’t sound so disappointed.”

“you handled yourself pretty nice back there.”

“i believe that everything happens for a reason.”

“you’re just a kid.”

“i can protect you.”

“i’ll come back for you.”

“you’re a fucking animal.”

“you have no idea what i’m capable of.”

“i’m gonna teach you how to play guitar.”

“another city, another abandoned quarantine zone.”

“is this everything you were hoping for?”

“we don’t have to do this.”

“i ain’t leavin’ without you.”

“i guess you can’t escape your past.”

“hands in the fucking air!”

“i pretty much lost everything.”

“no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ uh–– yeah. maybe you should move the clothes you need to the living room the night before, or you could always take back the bed if you wanted. ––– – what happened then ? ‘

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “we’re not fighting over the bed again. after we left i just went to work, did whatever i was supposed to do, y’know. i fucked around, as you do, but i like to think i did a good job. then we ate and i came back here and kind of lounged around. i guess i should have filled my time with something a little more productive, but i’m lazy and the weather isn’t nice enough for a good stroll.  maybe we should go for a walk sometime. like in the evening when it’s cooler. but yeah,  i talked to some people, did boring stuff and waited to come home. i was actually REALLY pumped to see you when i got back.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ yeah, uh–– thanks, ali. it’s just––– everything just feels so desolate, i don’t know. it feels like–– like everything is just all on me. like it’s up to me to figure things out, to fix things. and i can’t. i can’t do anything, ali. every time i try i just mess things up even more. i just get angry or i change the subject or i shut down. and it feels like i’ve got something inside me, y’know ? something ripping me into pieces. and i’m trying to FIX everything but it’s just so BROKEN and all i’m doing is making it worse ––– i don’t know, i don’t know. maybe could you–– i don’t know, could you just talk, for awhile ? or something. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “uh, yeah, i can talk, i can always talk. the main question is, what should i talk about? how about my day for starters? wake up every morning, then i kind of laid there and thought about whatever rations we’d be sorting through today and how not bad that couch is to sleep on. and then i thought about you and i was wondering how you slept and if i should come grab clothes or wait ‘til you wake up to grab them. i waited. should i keep going?”

[wcrofhearts-blog]

‘how - just how do you want me to forget what you did to me? why- why should i ever do that. i don’t owe you s h i t ’ 

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “c’mon selena, please? i promise i’ll try harder.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ yeah–– yeah, i guess. i don’t know, everything is just  f a l l i n g  apart, y’know ? like all the time, it’s like i can never just catch my BREATH. and i– i try to be a better person, i try to be good but it never works out. i’m always CAUGHT between something or i slip up or––– i don’t know, i’m sorry. you don’t– you don’t want to hear any of this. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “i do! i swear i do, if it makes you feel better. i’ll listen to anything you say to me and i’ll do anything to help you out, jasp. you don’t have to be alone like this. they’ll ALWAYS be someone there to catch you when you slip and pick up the pieces when you fall apart. you can’t just keep this shit to yourself, jasp, it’ll tear you apart.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ it’s just that, uh–– it’s not really stuff i can talk about. i mean, my sister is––  is here now  ––– she’s alive, and that’s– that’s great it’s just that, uh, we didn’t exactly… leave it on the best of terms–– which is, uh, my fault i– i did something, and i just… i want her to be safe. but she doesn’t want anything to do with me––– which i understand, and there’s all this stuff with my brother. i don’t know, everything just feels like a mess. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

     “the WORLD is a mess, jasp, this happens and it’s terrible, but you gotta stick this stuff through and i promise this web will untangle and you’ll be okay in the end.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ right–– yeah, no–  you’re fine. it’s not, uh, that big of a deal. ––– i’m alright, yeah. it’s just –– just family stuff, i guess. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “family stuff? i might not have a family anymore, doesn’t mean i’m not a good listener if you feel like dumping those feelings on me.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ i’m— i’m fine, ali. i just, uh— what do you mean you’re a big part of it ? you haven’t done anything wrong. i mean you’re letting me stay in your home. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “i just-we kissed and you left so OBVIOUSLY it was fucked up. but, are you sure you’re okay? and don’t turn it back on me.”

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

@jasperaltieri

     “hey man, you alright? i know shit’s been hard on you and i’m a BIG part of that, but i’m still a good listener if you want to talk.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ — are you sure ? i don’t see why i necessarily deserve it, i’m really fine with the couch, ali. i don’t want to put you out of way any more than i have already. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

     “please, just take it. i’d feel better knowing you’d have a good sleep and don’t even worry about staying here. you’re not burdening me, jasp. it’s like we’re still hanging out.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ no it’s— it’s fine. i’m sorry, i just—— keep your bed. i’ve slept in worse places, a couch is fine. i’ll be fine. and yeah, okay. i’ll think about it. sorry. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

      “you’re taking the bed, okay? i don’t care if you’ve slept in worse places, you deserve this.”

[jasperaltieri-blog]

          ‘ but that’s not what you want. you just want— i don’t know. sex, or whatever, right ? and this would just be another way of getting it. ’

[alistairrinaldi-blog]

     “that’s not all i want, i can promise you that. and maybe this isn’t the best time to ask, but just think about it? and god, please take my bed. you need a good sleep and you won’t get it on that couch.”