The Little Blue Dot

Hi.

[lipglosse]

[amargedom]

Daily reminder!

[alitillblar]

Update

I used to use this blog to talk about my IC. How times have changed. 

The last post I wrote about it was just before my cystoscopy. It was a strange experience. In case you’re struggling with IC, or are waiting for said procedure, here’s what happened at mine.

Before surgery, I talked to the urologist (I assume, as he was the one doing the surgery) who proceeded to inform me that if the surgery improves my symptoms, that is there way of diagnosing me with IC. They also showed me how much they would be expanding my urethra (tmi I’m sorry), and that they would be filling my bladder with some liquid (I can’t remember what) and stretching it to its fullest twice. Now, I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t get a little nervous, or that it didn’t hurt afterwards. Because it did. A lot. I also woke up in a puddle. It was not a fun day. I did end up having to come back to A&E because a few hours after I left the hospital, my pain was so bad they ended up inserting numbing gel into my urethra so that I could pee, because I just couldn’t. 

But that pain was worth it. The one day where it appeared to be the worst urinary related pain I have ever felt (they stretched it too much basically), ended up being worth it for the next 3 years, and on goingly so (touch wood). 

I have since been fine. I have the odd day where I have a little pain, but honestly, I am so much better. I was also on amitriptyline for a couple years to lessen the pain and calm the nervous system between my brain/bladder/bowels. And it worked (touch wood). 

So now, in order to help maintain this, I drink plenty water, always. I don’t drink caffeinated drinks unless it’s tea. I’m careful with what I eat so as not to trigger my IBS, which tends to trigger my IC symptoms - but mildly so in comparison to a few years ago.

It does get better, I swear. It took me 22 different doctors (thankfully the last was the best and he stuck with me through it all), countless appointments with GPs, gynaecologists, and finally a urologist - all over a year and a half. But it does get better.

SO NOW - I’m getting old. I have faced other challenges, and I am going to use this blog as an escapism from adulting with gluten free (GF), dairy free (DF) and the occasionally vegan recipe I come up with when I’m cooking. NB: I’m not vegan but sometimes I do make vegan meals without thinking about it. I have the world’s crappest memory, so if I want to make them again, they’ve got to be written down somewhere!

[alitillblar]

Thai Green Curry Soup

*GF/DF

*The whole idea of this recipe is for using up leftovers e.g. left over chicken, veggies, etc. It can easily be made vegan by adding no chicken and using vegetable stock. Serves 2.

Ingredients

1/2 onion

1 chilli

1/2 brocolli

1 green/yellow pepper

spinach

cooked chicken

1/2 jar green thai curry paste

can of coconut milk or carton of coconut cream

1/2 litre of chicken or vegetable stock

leftover cooked chicken

How to shove this all together - at least how I do it...

Put oil in a large frying pan or pot. Soften the onion and chilli for a few minutes. 

Add pepper, broccoli and curry paste and cook for 5 minutes.

Add coconut milk and spinach, cook for another few minutes. 

Add stock, pinch of (pink Himalayan for me) salt and chicken - boil for 10-20 minutes (however reduced you like it and until the chicken is heating through).

Put into a pretty bowl, eat with some GF bread with a little bit of dairy free margarine like me.

P.S. If you don’t like it too spicy, leave out the chilli. 

P.P.S. I’ll take a photograph next time... It was eaten too quick.

[y-o-u-t-h-s]

[the-drawing-shark]

I don’t bottle my feelings, I stuff them in boxes.

[quotethat]

Lust is so inadequate. And loving exhausts me.

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters (via quotethat)

[alitillblar]

It’s a happy Easter.

Whoa, it’s been ages since I posted. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

I’m going in for my cystoscopy on Sunday. I’m kinda scared, but I know it needs to be done. I’ve been okay for a while now, thanks to medication I’m taking. But they still need to rule out IC, just in case. IBS seems to have caused many of my problems. I’m controlling that more with my diet and anti depressants, buscopan and betmiga.

Anyone have any wise words on the cystoscopy I’m going in for? I know that I’m in for some pain afterwards, but I’m sure I can deal with it. Lots of water, bed, loos, and guided meditation for a few days and hopefully I’ll be okay. 

Anyway, I have an essay to write. The joys.

[alitillblar]

Aklkefhjfrsgh

Really thought I'd had a breakthrough. I had about 2 weeks of no symptoms, absolute bliss. But now my IBS has flared, putting pressure on my bladder so I need to go all the time, and this damn implant in my arm is doing the opposite of what I got it for. For the love of God someone give me a break. Stress is probably making things 100000x worse. Shitty events to organise which are going horrendously bad, coursework to do, people visiting every fucking weekend. Need a break. Need to let my body chill it's beans. 

Rant over.

[alitillblar]

PUB QUIZ 

The Tron

Edinburgh

Saturday 21st February 

7pm

BRING YER PALS

(Poster by Emily Duffy - i.e. me).

[email protected]

[fossil-brains]

[littlemountainlady]

[alitillblar]

It's the end of Janruary.

It's been 8/9 months since my symptoms began. I've more endurance than I thought...

My Urologist appointment was a bit weird. Because the referral was made so long ago, some of my symptoms written down on the letter he read out to me when I arrived were out-dated or had changed. He immediately began shpeeling things it could be, the only one I remember being that my urethra may have narrowed. He said based on my symptoms, he doesn't think I have interstitial cystitis. But then he doesn't know the full scope of my symptoms. He gave me a single dose of Zithromax which I've just taken (4 pills all out once, usually you take 3 in a day). He said sometimes bacteria isn't picked up and can cause symptoms. I sort of just scoffed at this. Anyway, he also prescribed me with 30 Betmiga 50mg pills. Betmiga is just for OAB. But since coming of Oxybutynin, also for OAB, I haven't noticed a huge change in my symptoms. My GP advised I don't take anything for OAB as I'm already taking antidepressants, which can interfere with the need to go anyway. It's been almost 2 weeks since I went on antidepressants. Noticed a difference? Yeah I suppose, I no longer have crazy bowel symptoms I suppose. 

Anyway, the Urologist is going to give my a cytocopsy/hydrodistension if this pill doesn't work. I'm genuinely very scared in case it makes things worse and leaves me permanently worse off. But he said if I think this is IC, then he can rule it out whilst having a look inside my urethra and bladder. I'm so so worried about getting it done. 

Fingers crossed on these pills, right? 

[wildthicket]

[artsnquotes]

Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it.

Robert Motherwell (via wordsnquotes)

[siroxford]

[heroinsight]