Untitled

[final-photo]

[cptfunk]

goddamn, son, no wonder everybody’s tryin’ to track you down

[mazarinedrake]

Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity. 

[sillysadskeleton]

Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.

[theprettiestboy]

I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips

So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head

[legolokiismighty]

Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.

Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.

[iwasawas-strings]

Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus

[elodieunderglass]

Canon Jesus did some very weird shit. Like, just before throwing the market out of the temple, he stole a donkey, then cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on it. The next day, or possibly immediately, everyone was amazed that the fig tree he had cursed was withered. He must’ve been in a fuckin weird mood. Going through a Dark Period. The Chaotic Mage of Light losing his shit just a little bit.

“So, what the fuck was that, Jesus?” someone asked as they’re all looking at the horribly withered corpse of the poor cursed tree.

“The power of prayer,” Jesus said absently.

“… wait, is cursing literally a form of prayer? Because some Wiccans are going to be really upset about that, like, they have a whole threefold law thing, is this… okay?”

“Listen,” said Jesus, “If I tell a mountain to get back in the sea? The mountain will get in the fucking sea. Do you want me to tell you to get in the sea?”

And they were all like, “Good demo, Jesus. Good lesson.”

Meanwhile, he was having the aforementioned public brawl in the temple.

Just keep that in mind during this election cycle - viable answers for What Would Jesus Do include flipping tables, stealing animals and striking down shrubbery with magic, all in one week.

[wattpadfic-deactivated20170213]

when yr so tired ur eyelids are like SHUT IT DOWN BOYS but ur brian is like OPEN THOSE GATES LADS n ur closing ur eyes then opening then closing then opening then closing then opening then closing

[thenosleepsquad-blog]

“ur brian”

[wattpadfic-deactivated20170213]

listen here mate i know what i said and i stick by it i cling to my mistakes like a real man

[doggykittyeverywhere]

[winterbramble]

oh my god I’m crying with laughter. My idiot sons

[threemarshmallows]

everyone please look at my pidgeottos

[sixpenceee]

The Man Who Laughs is a 1928 American silent film directed by the German Expressionist filmmaker Paul Leni. It’s about a man named Gwynplaine. His father was a nobleman. Orphaned as a child, he is captured by outlaws who use a knife to carve his face into a hideous grin. It’s considered a melodrama with roots in horror. You can watch it here

Here is my masterpost of short creepy films

[tomhiddleston]

Harp Seal (Phoca groenlandicus)

[sixpenceee]

Victorian Anti-Masturbation Devices: Jugem Penis

They obsessed with preventing acts of self-love. This terrifying contraption is called a jugum penis. It was designed to prevent both masturbation and nocturnal incontinence.

Should a man become aroused in the middle of the night, this contraption would clamp down, extinguishing both his desire as well as his erection. Medical practitioners believed that masturbation caused a wide range of mental/physical disorders, and could even prove fatal over time.

[lacharmworld]

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

[sixpenceee]

The chromatophores in a squid are controlled by nerves that fire randomly when the squid dies. (Source)

[sixpenceee]

Pink Beaches, Bermuda: The pink sand is the result of millions of tiny red sea creatures, such as clams, mollusks as well as other invertebrate,  that have been crushed by the powerful waves of the mid-Atlantic ocean. When they wash up on the beach, they blend with the sand, turning it an amazing pink color. (Source)

[buffysummers]

Feminism is not here to dictate to you, it’s not prescriptive, it’s not dogmatic. All we are here to do is give you a choice. If you want to run for prime minister, you can. If you don’t, that’s wonderful, too. Shave your armpits, don’t shave them, wear flats one day, heels the next: these things are so irrelevant and surface to what it is all really about… We want to empower women to do exactly what they want, to be true to themselves, to have the opportunities to develop. Women should feel free.

[themightyquinn666-deactivated20]

sorry everyone

[elsiemarina]

Excuse me.

One of the first women to start her own independent production company.

Earned her way to stardom without sleeping with executives for roles.

Refused to date people for publicity just because 20th Century Fox wanted her to.

Left 20th Century Fox because she refused to let them get away with treating her badly and paying her a tiny wage, just because of her “dumb blonde” image.

Was only paid a fraction of her co-star’s wage even though she was the star of the movies and the biggest box office pull, but still went ahead with the movies because she was so passionate about acting.

Studied method acting at the Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, who said that she was one of his best students along with Marlon Brando.

Had a personal library of over 500 books and rarely read fiction - she was desperate to learn and educate herself.

Was sexually abused as a child but then went on to encourage the sexual liberation of women in the 1950s. 

One of the first people to speak openly about sexual abuse.

One of the first people to openly support gay rights.

Supported many charities such as the Milk Fund, March of Dimes, Arthritis and Rheumatism foundation.

Donated her time and money to these charities.

Visited orphanages and hospitals on her own time to surprise the people there.

Married one of the greatest literary minds of the 20th century

Suffered two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and still put on a brave face for her fans.

Sorry, did you say she wasn’t a role model? 

[tuhhveit]

marilyn is my biggest role model so don’t even go there

[charliehadalittlewolf]

and let’s not forget this

Ella Fitzgerald was not allowed to play at the popular Mocambo, in Hollywood, because of her race. Marilyn, who loved her music and supported civil rights, called the owner of the Mocambo and told him that if he booked Ella immediately, she would take a front table every night. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. After that, Ella never had to play in a small jazz club again.

“She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.” - Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe

[pattykrenwinkelsbountifulleghair]

But what does history remember her for?  

[oddity-txt]

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class

We’re bros

[oddity-txt]

I named him chicken nugget

[oddity-txt]

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

[oddity-txt]

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around

[oddity-txt]

update hes entirely yellow now

[oddity-txt]

i made him a tube room

hes crawlin all over the place checking it out

[oddity-txt]

its happening

[oddity-txt]

False alarm he moved a bit This guy

[oddity-txt]

??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna

[oddity-txt]

whats he doing

[oddity-txt]

its happening part 2 For Real This Time

[oddity-txt]

chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway

[oddity-txt]

i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

[oddity-txt]

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now

hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

[oddity-txt]

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now 🎉🐛🎉

[rebecca-lotto]

let me know how he’s doing soon

[oddity-txt]

HES BUSTIN OUT

[oddity-txt]

im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up

hope he doesnt party too hard 

🐛 💤 💤

[oddity-txt]

hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage

[oddity-txt]

CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!

[oddity-txt]

hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit

[oddity-txt]

this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang

[outrageauxbonnesmoeurs]

Vintage women being badass. You’re welcome.

[love-as-thou-wilt]

Don’t fool yourself into thinking ladies were demure and silent in the past. 

[just-grasping-at-straws-deactiv]

I would like more female characters being this open

[intensesuggestion]

why get a boyfriend when you can get a pack of really nice pens

[actualfarmerclintbarton-deactiv]

[wittyusernamed]

My buddy read an article about octopus intelligence. It was feeding time, and the handler dumped some shrimp into an octopus’ tank. Then he went into another room and sat at his desk.

A while later, a shrimp was tossed onto his desk.

The octopus, upon finding one bad shrimp in the lot, had grabbed it, escaped its tank, crossed the hall, and threw the expired shrimp at its caretaker. Not only does this showcase their problem-solving capabilities, but also that it could have escaped at any time. It just broke out this time to chuck an off shrimp in indignation at its handler. That’s not just intelligence, that’s a human-like reaction. Kinda make you wonder exactly how smart these guys can be…

[rocketxsurgeon]

OH MY GOD

[teaandtime]

I went to the aquarium once and we had a tour and we walked past the octopus tank and it was duct taped shut so I asked why and the guy was like. “Well, we had a problem before because these fish were disappearing randomly at night and we had no idea why. Turns out the octopus had memorised the night guards rounds and would creep out of its tank, crawl across the floor to the fish tank, have a little snack and be back in its own tank with the lid shut before the guard came back.” they are super smart

[manynamedshe]

I love octopuses so, so much.

[thecheshirecass-deactivated2018]

@_@

I am both delighted and FUCKING TERRIFIED.

[vin-goghsts]

Once I went to the aquarium where they had a baby pacific red octopus in a tank. I had gone there to work on a few real life sketches, obviously I wanted to do one of an octopus. So I kinda just kneeled in front of the tank, and started sketching. The octopus didn’t mind, he sat happily. Then, 5 minutes later, he started moving to the front of the tank, where I was. This tiny octopus faces me directly and starts posing. I don’t know how other to explain it but he started curlung his tentacles in this really graceful way then wouldn’t move for a few minutes. Then again, a new pose. That tiny cute motherfucker knew I was drawing him.

[thomas-sanders-with-vine]

Give a Warm Welcome to… A Misleading Compliment 🙌

[genderevil]

That’s how to flirt