AnasAbdin
YOU ARE THE REASON
blake kathryn
hello vonnie
Keni
Andulka
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
$LAYYYTER
Today's Document
will byers stan first human second
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Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
almost home
Kiana Khansmith
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Discoholic 🪩
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@friendsomine
INDEPENDENT | SELECTIVE | MUTUALS ONLY | HEADCANON BASED | CROSSOVER FRIENDLY
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS ON THIS BLOG ARE FICTIONAL. SAID FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE IMPERSONATED... POORLY. THE FOLLOWING RP BLOG CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE.
Promo Banner + Divider by @meltylcnd-nightmare!
Rules
Mun + Muses
Tag Dump
Inbox Prompts
Gomen friends... there's this Television Man from the Hashbrown Hotel who has my braincell... find me at @kakodaimones....
Distracted by the demon cartoon rn over at @/kakodaimones, but I am still here and will try to reply generally hgjfdk
@friendsomine — starter call
‧₊˚ ⏾. ⋅ — ❝ I’m saying this with your best interest at heart . ❞ Bebe starts, her gaze dragging along Cartman top to bottom
‧₊˚ ⏾. ⋅ — ❝ That outfit so doesn’t go together . You look like a hooker’s closet threw up on you . ❞
A pause for the words to sink in, and then she offers Eric a smile.
‧₊˚ ⏾. ⋅ — ❝ No offence ! ❞
"Hey, screw you, it's from my mo-" Cartman stopped himself before he finished that half-baked retort, as he realized it only set himself up for further roasts. The leopard print dress he'd squeezed into was difficult enough to defend without revealing it origin. So instead, he crossed his arms and whipped his neck to dramatically toss the curls of his wig out of his eyes.
"...you could not have done better with what I have to work with." A rare degree of diplomacy from him, but there were obvious material incentives for this politesse: Bebe's wardrobe was super sweet.
▸ @friendsomine ⟶ ❛ "You need professional help." Have a (hypocritical) Cartman being an ass to Tweek ❜ ╱ ( mean , accepting . )
Tweek bristles, grinding his teeth, pulling his shoulders up to his ears, turning his hands into talons. “I’m not fucking crazy!” he screams. Okay, maybe he is a little bit, and he could use the help, and he wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if it was genuine and not being used to dismiss everything he said.
As it stands, it’s easy to see why Craig is one of the few guys alive who can halfway tolerate Cartman—infuriating bastards, both of them.
“I s-saw it with my own t-two eyes!” Cartman, of all people, ought to know that Tweek isn’t a liar, especially after the gnomes. “But—gah!—fine! Don’t b-believe me. I hope the President eats you like a r-rr-rat.”
For every accurate claim about underwear gnomes, there were more than a few hysterical reactions to imaginary bugs or insane overreactions. The kind of behavior that had convinced most of their classmates that Tweek was a pint-sized viking berserker, and seeing him hunch like a gargoyle and start screeching was enough to initially put Cartman on the backfoot, stepping away for a moment before trying to reassert his space.
"Fuck you, Tweek! If anything, the President's going to eat you to because you saw it! Plus you smell like coffee and those weird little cake-on-a-stick things you parents sell, so you're way more edible!" Ignore that he's now implicitly accepting the premise that he'd just been mocking, jabbing a yellow gloved finger towards Tweek. What was much more important was "winning" whatever this argument was turning into, and that had nothing to do with the facts of the matter.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 2 of Oreos has landed, Candy fans come get your food!
she's been excited since she got the call -- satan had mentioned that @friendsomine was making his way to the hotel to visit. a perfect time since the place was just rebuilt. there was some time before the hotel's officially reopened to spend time with some family.
when she gets the message that the kid had arrived, the princess was quick to make an appearance at the drop off area.
❝ HELLOOOO, DAMIEN !!! ❞
she coos, arm waving as he approaches. she holds out her hands to take his bags for him. ❝ welcome to the hotel ! ❞
The bushy-browed little fourth grader offers up a suitcase and a Terrance and Phillip branded backpack up to Charlie, a grimace pasted across his face.
He doesn't dislike his cousin. If anything, she's probably one of his favorite people, considering how attentive she is. He certainly prefers her company since it means he can be certain that he's far away from his dad's obnoxious boyfriends. But the cheery attitude clashes with his own, and prompts him to lash out.
"The sinners here look stupid." Alright, it's not that much of a lash out. But he's a ten year old boy who hasn't had lunch yet, or played with any of his few friends for a few weeks. The Pentagram was bright and confusing and he hated everything and his Switch was out of battery, and so the hotel would suffer his wrath.
"I want WacDonalds...."
"Waiter, waiter, more posts about how Kyle is a bitch please!"
You. Yes, you. Write South Park with me....
He likes to doodle his friends in his journal.
He's mostly drawing them doing heinous things to each other, but still.
Meanwhile, on AO3....
"I nevah mean to be so bad to you... one thing I said that I would nevah do...."
@friendsomine — ‘ don’t fuck with me! i have the power of god and anime on my side! ’ — (My Cartman. For Ike, because it's funny to me)
‧₊˚ ⏾. ⋅ — ❝ Oh yeah ? ❞ Ike squints at Cartman, lips pulled tight as he stares the other down. Evaluating his power levels. He may have anime on his side, but no… he couldn’t rival Goku. Eric has limits. And Ike has power, too. Yes. He could win this match.
‧₊˚ ⏾. ⋅ — ❝ Well , I have the power of Minecraft and all of Canada , on my side . So maybe you shouldn’t fuck with me ! ❞
That’s right, Cartman. You don’t have a chance against this little bug-eyed freak.
Cartman squints back at Ike. His kewl mismatched eyes should have been proof enough of his power level. He had zero idea where the blue iris had come from when he turned eight, but he was absolutely certain it was a sign that he had secret badass anime powers.
But he also knew better than to understimate his opponent. If Terrance and Phillip had taught him anything, it's that Canadians were capable of all kinds of dangerous magic - and that's not even counting the potential stat buffs that Judaism might offer. Crouching slightly, Cartman brings his hands together, frantically trying to form different complicated gestures. It isn't exactly clear whether or not he was succeeding in making the intended gestures, but those hands are moving fast at least.
"Let's see you block my super special elite kickass ninja jutsu technique, HAAAA!"
PROMPTS FROM SHREK 2 * assorted dialogue from the 2004 film, adjust as necessary
quick! tell a lie!
i can't believe you're just gonna walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you.
say something crazy, like "i'm wearing ladies underwear!"
i most certainly am not!
it's a thong!
i don't feel any different. do i look any different?
you still look like an ass to me.
nobody said i have the right to remain silent!
you have the right to remain silent. what you lack is the capacity.
stop. i have misjudged you.
join the club. we got jackets.
look, she's not seeing any clients today.
we're from the union.
we represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
okay, we're going to have a look around.
think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
oh man. where do i begin?
they all got drunk and started hitting me with sticks, yelling "piñata! piñata!"
i need you to cry!
all i got in my room was shampoo.
i hate mondays.
who on earth are they?
that's not little. that's a really big problem.
we came, we saw them, now let's go before they light the torches.
they're my parents!
good! now's our chance! let's go back inside and pretend we're not home.
quick, while they're not looking, we can make a run for it.
you can do this.
i don't want to die!
oh sweet sister mother of mercy! i'm melting! i'm melting!
i'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
oh look! a little cat!
look out! he's got a piece!
are we there yet?
oh god help me! please!
tell the truth. will i ever be able to play the violin again?
i drank the potion and well, now... i'm sexy.
oh pick me! i'll be your true love!
someday i will repay you, unless of course i can't find you, or if i forget.
fear me, if you dare.
i had hoped you would never see me like this.
i'm sorry to both of you.
i just wish i could be the man that you deserve.
go! your lady needs you!
today, i repay my debt.
who dares enter my room?
i hope i'm not interrupting anything.
you are told correct, but for this i charge a great deal of money.
for five minutes, could you not be yourself?
it wasn't my fault! he didn't get there in time!
are you kidding? he's gorgeous! his face looks like it was carved by angels?
i see london! i see france!
why don't we drop in for a spell?
oh mexican food! my favorite!
you have forced me to do something i really don't want to do.
my diet is ruined! i hope you're happy.
they just want to give us their blessing.
who said i want to be part of this family?
look out! here comes the new me!
first things first. we need to get you out of those clothes.
did i miss?
pardon me. would you mind letting me go?
quit messing around!
almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you.
whatever happens... i must not cry.
can i help you, your majesty?
tell us about where you live.
i guess that will be a fine place to raise the children.
oh, stop being such a drama king.
i don't care whose fault this was, just get this place cleaned up.
i'm not going.
he's completely lost his mind!
we can't be lost.
i wasn't the one who refused to stop for directions.
you're so tense.
do you think you could get up there?
i've made changes for you. think about that.
i guess i gave her the wrong tea.
sorry. i thought that question was directed at me.
uh... FYI. not my fault.
we just need to work out something smarter, that's all.
i need to have someone "taken care of."
MOODBOARD FOR WHEN SHIT IS FUCK
“Why do they even make sandwiches this small?” Have a Cartman
"Are they actually that small?" Clyde inquires, leaning over the table to inspect the assortment of triangle-cut sandwiches that someone had brought to Token's little house party as a treat.
Much to his surprise, Cartman was right in his observation- these sandwiches were practically bite-size. Not that he initially doubted him, but Cartman wasn't exactly the smallest of guys.
"Huh. Well, who do they expect to feed with these? Gnomes?" He picks one up to take a closer look, then pauses, a look of dread washing over him, almost as if he had some sort of realization.
"We're gonna starve here, dude! This isn't nearly enough to feed all of us!" Okay, maybe he was being a bit overdramatic.
Eric watched as Clyde started to panic over the state of the catering, and he'd be lying if he didn't admit he enjoyed seeing him squirm a little. Clyde was still on his shit list for a number of reasons, after all. But faced with this kind of a crisis, it was necessary to put aside their differences. There was a party that needed saving.
Cartman placed a hand on Clyde's shoulder, trying to steady him before he started crying over this.
"Okay, Clyde, Clyde: look, here's what we're going to do. We've gotta sneak into Tolkien's parents' room, find one of their credit cards, and use that to order us some pizzas. That way, we can make sure there's plenty of food, and we can save Tolkien's lame party. We'll be heroes."
