Rewatcing TVD season 5 and I'm on 5x04 where Stefan has his memory loss and I'm having a lot of Steroline thoughts so I'mma just dump 'em all here.
So first thing that happens is drunk Stefan calls Caroline hot when he first sees her, establishing that he does find her attractive on a baseline level. Meaning, he probably would've noticed her when he came to Mystic Falls if he wasn't so distracted by having found a doppelgÀnger of the girl that turned him into a vampire.
Then there's the difference between how Elena and Caroline handle amnesia!Stefan's bloodlust. Elena, in classic her-fashion, makes it all about herself. You were a great boyfriend to me. You never scared me. So, naturally, when he tries to kiss her and she tells him she's with his brother now, he feels betrayed and runs off. Elena tried to get him to remember by recreating how they met, she distracts him from his bloodlust by telling him all about their relationship. It works temporarily, but this makes it so that Stefan ties his control to being around Elena ("Whatever monster I was capable of being, I could see why I was different around you.") so when he finds out about her and Damon, his control goes down with their relationship.
But when Caroline sees him feeding on Jessie, she tells him, "This isn't you. Okay, you might not remember, but I do. You are better than this! You are not this person." Not only does she solely tie it to who Stefan is as a person, but as a byproduct, she informs Stefan that he has other people who care about him besides his ex and brother. It's no wonder she's the only one he trusts after that. And then she and Stefan agree on a plan for her to call him every hour to check in, because Caroline priorities making sure Stefan's okay before making sure that he remembers. ("I don't want my brother's advice. I don't wanna hear how I supported you, Elena. [...] Don't worry, I'm not gonna go on a ripper binge. Besides, Caroline said she'd call me every hour to make sure I was okay, and, uh... I actually do trust her.")
And then there's the scene in the Salvatore Tomb before Bonnie's funeral where Stefan comforts Caroline. It's in my, like, top 10 scenes of theirs at least. ("Me. You have me. Look, you were there for me last night. Sounds like you're always there for me. So let me be there for you.") Elena told him that he always showed her and others compassion, but that doesn't do much when she disrespected him by lying by omission about their history and the fact that she left him for his brother. Caroline tells him that he's a compassionate person and then backs it up by showing him compassion. So when Stefan sees her hurting, he wants to return that. He puts his own worries aside for the time being, asks her what's wrong, says he wishes he could remember Bonnie, offers physical comfort and tells her he'll still be there for her despite him not remembering their friendship, because he sees how much she does for him and others and he knows she deserves it.
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