"I'm gonna wish that the Long Walk has two winners. 'Cause then, then in years to come, people can have hope that maybe their friends just might make it."
day twenty-one of @may-lancholy - doomed from the start
(also! check out this amazing piece of art by @robinzombiezz that I found after writing this fic)
day sixteen of @may-lancholy - gunshot
Ship: Collie x Stebbins
Warnings: Canon divergence, Collie's rebellion works, gunshot wound, wound care, blood and injury, illness, hurt/comfort.
Summary: It didn't help that Stebbins was shaking. His "allergies" had spiraled quickly and it was taking its toll on him. Escaping from the road had only been a temporary reprieve if one at all. He knew the others were grateful to be free, but for the most part, nothing had changed for him.
Words: 1,126
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"Quit squirming," Stebbins demanded from where he was leaned over Collie's body.
"You try not squirm while someone digs a bullet out of you," He argued back, but to his credit, he did seem to be trying to hold still.
It didn't help that Stebbins was shaking. His "allergies" had spiraled quickly and it was taking its toll on him. Escaping from the road had only been a temporary reprieve if one at all. He knew the others were grateful to be free, but for the most part, nothing had changed for him.
"Why the fuck are you the one doing it anyway?" Collie asked, unwilling to let silence fall over them now. Go figure. As soon as Stebbins wanted needed quiet, he was going out of his way to talk. "You somehow look worse than I do."
"Because I'm the only one of them that knows what I'm doing" He said. "You really want one of them to fish a bullet out of you? You're lucky this isn't worse. You really would have been fucked if it tore through something important. You still might be if infection sets in."
A sharp laugh was cut off by a groan when Stebbins forced the piece of metal that he was using as makeshift forceps down deeper. Ideally, he needed something he could grab the bullet with. But ideally, Collie wouldn't be shot either. So, he did the best with what he had and tried to hook it beneath the bullet.
He pulled up slowly, trying not to lose his grip on it or risk losing any parts that might have come loose. He could remove a whole bullet a lot easier than the pieces of one. His other hand flattened on Collie's belly, keeping him in place the best he could.
Collie's arms were holding onto each other tightly, short nails digging into his own skin. They were clasped over his chest and Stebbins knew he was trying to keep himself still. The sting of his nails didn't seem to offer much distraction because tears still welled in his eyes and a curse still escaped him again.
Luckily, it didn't seem like there was much further that Stebbins had to go. He could see the end of the bullet starting to protrude from the bloody opening. He was even more careful now that he was almost done.
He worked it out slowly, going as gently as he could, and hoping it would be in one piece when he retrieved it. As brash as he was with the group, he didn't want to see anyone die. Not Collie at least. Out of all of them, he was easily the most tolerable.
"There," Stebbins told him once the bullet finally pulled free, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding in. "It looks like I got it all out."
"It took you long enough," Collie's voice shook, keeping his head laid back against the dirt and his eyes fixed upward.
Stebbins barely glanced at the bullet, covered in blood and flesh, tossing it aside. Any relief either of them had was short-lived. He reached for the small box containing the rest of the "medical supplies." Though, that term was certainly being generous.
It was clear none of the others knew what they were looking for when they went out to hunt for supplies. Still, they couldn't be picky now. And Collie's stomach was still bleeding.
"Now for the really fun part," Stebbins sighed. "You really have to stay still now or I'll fuck up the stitches."
As it was, he doubted they would be very good. All the knowledge in the world didn't amount to experience. And none of it made up for the unsteadiness that was taking over his body.
"It can't be worse than you digging the bullet out," Collie told him and Stebbins wasn't so sure about that.
He chose not to argue. Instead, he decided to get it over with and begin the next task. That was all he had to do now, just focus on the next thing to be done. One lap around the track was done, he just needed to get through the next.
****
"Stebbins," A voice roused him eventually, a whisper of his name in the darkness.
Once his eyes adjusted, he saw the shape of Collie through the moonlit night. He couldn't make out his expression exactly, but he looked pissed. Stebbins turned his head, coughing so hard it hurt. He could feel phlegm clinging in his airways and his throat, unable to get it fully up.
"What the fuck do you want?' He asked him, unsure of why he was being disturbed after it had been hard enough to fall asleep.
"Fuck you," Collie spat back as if he wasn't the one bothering him. "You're wheezing and rattling over here. I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"No," Stebbins said immediately. "I'm not okay, in case you can't tell."
He expected Collie to leave him alone then, to let him get back to sleep. To his surprise, Collie was easing his own back down onto the ground next to him.
"Lift your head and put it on my shoulder," Collie told him.
"What?" He asked and he was certain he would sound more upset if it wasn't for the scratchy croak to his voice.
"It'll help you breathe," Collie explained and yeah, Stebbins already knew that. "You've got to keep your head elevated. This isn't ideal, but it's probably better than the other options."
And it was true enough. It was better than lying flat on his back like he had been. He was taken aback by Collie offering this, though. He considered asking if he was sure or telling him to fuck off again. But he knew Collie wouldn't offer if he wasn't and truthfully, the offer was tempting.
Instead of doing either of those things, he moved until his body was pressed close to Collie. His head found his shoulder and Collie's arm curled around him. It took him a minute to get comfortable and the feeling was awkward even once he did.
There was a strange comfort in it, though. It made him think of being home again and he pushed away the question of if he would ever return there. One lap then the next, he reminded himself.
He tilted his head down a bit to try and avoid breathing too close to Collie. Chances were if what he had was contagious, they would all get it eventually, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Collie stayed silent and he was grateful for it. They didn't need to talk. Stebbins closed his eyes and sleep found him easier this time around.
Summary: Lips were soft and warm against Ray's own. He kissed them like he needed it, like this was more important than food and water, and everything else.
Words: 1,103
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Lips were soft and warm against Ray's own. He kissed them like he needed it, like this was more important than food and water, and everything else. Their body was pressed into his. His hands had found their waist at some point, pulling them close until there was no space left between them.
His mind couldn't wrap around any details outside of how they felt. Their body was hot, seemingly burning up, and they held onto him like they were afraid to let go. He couldn't tell who it was, but he could assume. It was Jan, it had to be.
She was pliant as they kissed, letting herself be trapped against him. He was hard already, pressing against her urgently, though he did nothing about it. He wanted to rock into her, to feel the warm planes of her body.
At the same time, he worried this would be over too quickly if he did. Maybe she would stop him, maybe he would spill as soon as he started. That worry won out in the end. He could be content just kissing her. Her tongue pressed against his, a lingering sweetness clinging to her skin. Yeah, this could be enough.
But then her leg pressed in between his. It slotted itself right up against his crotch and his hips jerked involuntarily. His immediate thought was that it had been an accident, that she hadn't meant to. She didn't shy away from him, though.
Her thigh nudged more firmly against him, giving him something solid to press into. His hips moved before he could think about about it, the permission being all he needed. The friction wasn't nearly as good as it would be to fuck her, but he would take anything he could get.
Maybe she would finally let him fuck her, though. This wasn't like her, taking so much initiative and encouraging him to rub against her. He decided against questioning it.
His hands explored, slipping away from her waist to grope at her ass. He was as gentle as he could be, but knew he was probably still rougher than he meant to be. He often was. She didn't pull away to complain at him, so he continued on.
Already, he was embarrassingly close. It had never taken much, especially with her. His thighs tightened around her leg, moving without any coordination. He groaned against her lips and he could swear he heard her laugh.
He pulled away from the kiss, confusion filling him. Jan never acted like this, what had changed today? He enjoyed rutting against her leg, but the laugh sent a wave of embarrassment through his body. He didn't have the chance to say anything, not that he knew what he wanted to say anyway, before she kissed him again.
She acted desperate for him and he shuddered at the thought. There was that familiar coil of heat in his stomach and he knew he truly was close now. Any insecurity or worry pushed out of his mind in favor of chasing his own release. He rocked quicker into her thigh, holding back another groan. She smiled against him and he just needed a bit more, a bit more and he would-
Teeth sank into his bottom lip, hard enough that he worried it might draw blood. The pain shocked him enough that he instinctively pulled away, his cock aching from losing contact as he pushed her away from him. She'd never done anything like that, he wasn't even certain he liked it. He wanted to question her, but every word died in his throat when he opened his eyes and was met by the sight of Stebbins.
His lips were pinkened from kissing, looking more disheveled than Ray had ever seen him. He closed his eyes and then opened them again, expecting Jan to actually be in his place when he looked again. But there he stood all the same. A small smile was on his face, taunting Ray, and he was still hard in his jeans.
They both stared at one another, not moving or speaking. Ray tried to find his voice. He wanted to say something to him, although he didn't even know what that would be. He opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out.
Ray's body jerked awake, the way it did when he sometimes thought he was falling just before he went to sleep. His heart hammered in his chest and he was aware of the fact he was hard in the real world too. It was to the point of being painful, but he knew well enough he wasn't going to do anything about it.
Not here, not now.
He checked the time. Just under two hours had passed since he last looked at it. He couldn't remember how long he had stayed away after that. The small amount of sleep he managed to get had done little to distract him from the pain. If they were able to get actual sleep, maybe.
But there was no rest here. There was no bed to let him recover, there was no reprieve for his aching muscles or the stabbing pain in his feet. He was exhausted down into his bones. In the beginning, the sleep he got had been helpful. Now, he often woke up feeling worse than he had before. What sort of sense did that make? And now, he could add the pain in his crotch to the list of worries.
His head snapped back to glare at Stebbins. A moment later, seemingly able to feel eyes on him, Stebbins looked at him too. Ray's eyes narrowed even more as though Stebbins had been projecting the thoughts into his head.
Here and now, Ray no longer knew what to make of Stebbins. His opinions on him changed too frequently. For all he knew, Stebbins may have been able to do that. He had a way of getting under Ray's skin and into his head.
Stebbins said nothing to him, of course. He did give him a curious look, though. It seemed as if Stebbins was trying to figure something out about Ray too. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction, turning his head back to face ahead.
He continued trudging along. Anger welled in his chest, boiling and nearly overwhelming. He wanted to scream at Stebbins, but he thought better of it. He let the anger simmer down into motivation, walking forward fueled by spite now.
He would win this, he needed to. There was something he had to prove to Stebbins. He wished he knew what it was.
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areudirty
theartofmadeline
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