RRRRREEEEEEEEEE @all-or-nothings - Tumblr Blog

by Lux Alptraum

…I should note that it is not the celebration of Christmas, per se, with which I take issue. Spending time with loved ones and exchanging gifts are lovely traditions, and while many of the particular traditions of Christmas are not quite to my taste, I’m thrilled to know they give others a great deal of joy…

What I do object to, however, is the culture that’s been built around Christmas, that has elevated one religious faith’s year-end festivity into an inescapable, weeks-long period of compulsory celebration for nearly everyone. If you’re Muslim, Jewish, Hindu or otherwise uninterested in participating in a Christian holiday, you can personally opt out of Christmas Day by declining to get a tree and spending December 25 at the movies — but all bets are off should you choose to leave your house (or even turn on the TV) at any moment between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

December in America is a constant onslaught of Christmas culture: Every store gets decked out in Christmas finery and puts carols on full blast, seemingly believing that it encourages shopping. Television shows that normally avoid any discussion of anything approaching religious observance suddenly get into the spirit, devoting extra-long episodes to stories about the generous spirit inspired by this time of year (a generous spirit that, apparently, people who don’t celebrate Christmas know absolutely nothing about). Ostensibly secular offices and schools are suddenly awash in Santas and sleighs and reindeer, all in the name of bringing everyone a little extra joy, the fact that it’s their own definition of joy be damned.

It would be bad enough if this aggressive Christmas assault were purely the domain of the rabid right wing; if the only people I needed to worry about fending off were the types who see cries of “Happy Holidays” as an affront to their religious freedom, or the switch from red to green holiday cups as some sign of an Islamic agenda. But the truth is that liberals — even ones who ostensibly embrace religious diversity — can be just as bad as their conservative counterparts when it comes to enforcing the oppressive Christmas climate.

And at a time when religious minorities are increasingly under attack within this country, we to take a long hard look at the way Christmas is used to send the message that America is a nation primarily for Christians.

When I tell a liberal Christmas fan that I just don’t want to get into the spirit, it usually doesn’t end well. If they’re not insistent that I’m missing out (and just no fun), they tend to see my lack of enthusiasm for Christmas as an indictment of their own enjoyment of the holiday.

I’ve heard so many arguments for why my stance that compulsory Christmas is forcing me to participate in Christianity is unfounded — It’s not religious, it’s a secular celebration of consumerism! It’s not Christian, it’s actually Saturnalia dressed up in Jesus drag! They love it in Japan! — none of which seem to take into consideration that, as a Jewish woman, I’m probably pretty well versed in what sorts of celebrations are and aren’t within the scope of my religious practice. (And, let’s be serious, a holiday whose name commemorates the birth of Jesus has, at the very least, some intense Christian heritage that might feel uncomfortable for me).

It’s a reaction that’s disappointing any Christmas season, but this year, as the celebration ramps up in the shadow of the most fatal anti-Semitic attack in American history, it’s particularly disheartening. With white nationalism on the rise, and a president who takes great pleasure in using cries of “Merry Christmas” to bludgeon religious minorities, being non-Christian in America feels more isolating, and unsafe, than ever.

…And above all, please remember that Christmas doesn’t have a monopoly on generosity and joy, anymore than Passover has a monopoly on being anti-slavery. Not everybody needs, or wants, to get into the Christmas spirit, and that’s totally okay. Christmas is not for everyone, but the freedom of religion, and celebration of diversity, that allows for that recognition is — and that is what truly makes America great.

[Read Lux Alptraum’s full piece at NBC News.]

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I spent a good hour trying to compose a reply/addition to this, only to finally click on the actual link and found that Alptraum already articulated most of what I wanted to say.

But one thing I think could be added is that, for a lot of people, celebrating Christmas is the norm. It’s assumed. There’s no need to question or interrogate the religious or alienating aspects of the holiday because “everybody” celebrates it. And when you identify yourself as someone who doesn’t, when you reply to their jolly “Merry Christmas!” with a weary “Happy holidays!” you can see the change in their eyes.

Oh. You’re not one of Us. You’re one of Them. You’re Other.

And as if Othering people isn’t dangerous enough, not only have they Othered you, you’ve damaged their worldview. The “most wonderful time of the year” has been dimmed by the presence of this Other. Sometimes there’s awkwardness, a bit of shame at having forgotten that Other people exist, sometimes there’s anger that they do exist at all. Often they will blame the Other for inflicting these feelings on them. After all, if the Other were not here, the response would be an equally jolly “Merry Christmas!” and everyone would be on their way. How dare the Other attack their good holiday cheer with these feelings? How dare the Other make them feel bad for not remembering that everyone is not just like them.

Anyway, Christmas is a tainted holiday for me, for this reason and for all the reasons outlined in the article. My friends, who are very secular, sometimes invite me to their celebrations. They want to celebrate with me, to be part of their family and their joy, and I always feel honored and loved that they want me there. It’s not their fault society treats Christmas this way. But for reasons that are not their fault, the holiday rarely feels anything but alienating to me.