Komedio is doing a FREE live recording @awakencafe this Saturday doors at 7 Show at 8. To get your free tickets RSVP at AwakenCafe.com

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Komedio is doing a FREE live recording @awakencafe this Saturday doors at 7 Show at 8. To get your free tickets RSVP at AwakenCafe.com
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Mermaid Show was great! Always the most fun because no oneâs watching. Get your shit together and hang out in 2017! Same mermaid time, same mermaid place!
12/2. Mermaid Show Comedy w/ Kristee Ono
Mermaid Show brings comedy under the sea at the EXIT Theater in San Franciscoâs Tenderloin. Comedian Kristee Ono hosts a lineup featuring Hannah Marianetti, Lucia Turman, Courtney McClean, Allison Mick and Gabby Poccia thatâs sure to be a splash. Fun starts at 8pm, Friday December 2nd.
Muffin Tin Veggie Fritters
and just in time for Thanksgiving!
These lil bad boys are super easy to make and are a warm addition to any Friendsgiving or family gathering.
Ingredients:
5 large yellow potatoes
1 lb baby spinach
œ large yellow onion, diced
1 can yellow sweet corn, strained
1/3 cup skim milk
1 cup bisquick powder
1 garlic clove, minced
2 tbsp olive oil
3 tbsp sweet cream butter
1 tsp liquid smoke
1 tbsp sea salt
Pam spray or more butter for the muffin pan
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Boil the potatoes.
Sauté the garlic and onions in the olive oil in a medium saucepan. When the onions are clear, add the spinach (tear leaves into bite-sized pieces) and cover on medium heat.
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When the potatoes are soft, mash with the milk and salt until smooth (a little chunky is fine though). Microwave butter for 33 seconds with the liquid smoke and pour into the mashed potatoes. Add Bisquick and stir in corn and spinach, onions, and garlic. Mix it all together. Feel free to add Panko breadcrumbs if you want.
Oh dang would ya look at that?
Grease a muffin tin with butter or Pam. Spoon the potato mix into the muffin holes until each is filled about 2/3 of the way.
Top with tiny pats of butter. Bake for 20 minutes or until tops are brown and a knife comes out of the thickest fritter clean.
Serve warm and enjoy.Â
The 16th Annual SF Sketchfest Line-Up Announced and Tickets Are Now on Sale
Keep reading
Iâm not on the poster but Iâll be doing a couple shows. I swear.
ditto.
Iâve been working on an original animated show for almost a year and as luck would have it, I know a super talented artist named Adrienne Lobl who is also into murder-y spooky stuff and is designing my characters for me. I mostly just want to show off how great these designs look but if youâre wondering, the show is a Brady Bunch-style family comedy about a blended family in a world where ghosts walk (well, float) among us. This thing is my baby and Adrienne is my creativity doula.
It makes me so excited and grateful that I know so many talented women and collaborating with her has inspired me to work harder on my scripts to make this show a reality. Support your ladies and theyâll support you back. This year in comedy has been a reminder that women can accomplish truly amazing things together.
How to DIY Your Home into a Haunted House
Make the most of the Halloween holiday with our seasonal DIYs!
1. Spooky Jack-O-Lanterns
A little dry ice goes a long way in this festive DIY. Fog is so spooky! And thereâs plenty of stencils available online if you want to up the taste level on your pumpkin or go even scarier than the classic Jack-o-Lantern face.
2. Bloody Candles
So cute, right? A dark red candle does all the heavy lifting in this simple yet suspenseful hack. You can also use this technique year round with other colors.
3. Creepy Glow Eyes
Nothing is scarier than being watched when you donât want to be. Tap into everyoneâs existential fear of being seen for who they really are by putting glowing eyes in your bushes.
4. Straight Up Fucking Murder Someone
This one is a little advanced but really sets the scene for a spooky Halloween and consequently, rest of your life. For best results, we suggest stabbing someone, preferably in a ritualistic fashion to ensure that the violent and occultish means by which they left the mortal plane will keep them in limbo forever. Youâll also want to get on this right away because if your neighbor decides to try this, you might end up the one doing the haunting and your neighborâs entire living room is in that awful House Hunters beige from the mid-00s and who wants to look at that for the rest of eternity? Kill your neighbor first and have the spookiest house on the block. Additional bonus: having a ghost will really help you save on air conditioning in the summer.
Home Tour From the Archives: Mr. Holmesâ Chic Chicago Castle
August 17, 1893
CHICAGO - While our reporters are in town for the Columbian Exposition to report on the future of home decor, every serving wench and waiter has suggested that we make the acquaintance of the thoroughly charming Mr. Henry Howard Holmes.Â
This miraculous edifice â completed in 1890â towers over the rest of the Englewood neighborhood. The exterior is an interesting combination of contemporary Victorian elements and the new mixed-use style championed by Mr. Louis Sullivan. Mr. Sullivan claims that this style will be the wave of the future and weâre inclined to agree with him because heâs a man and knows better about these things.
The interior of the home defies proper elucidation but for the good of the art form of commenting on the interiors of the homes of the rich, we shall try. Dark walnut accents run through the entirety of the house, lending to a brooding atmosphere that matches the temperament of the mysterious Mr. Holmes. The botanical print wallpaper is contemporary without being ostentatious. The walls are a bit thin however, as some faint lasciviousness of the inhabitants of the hotel makes for an awkward tour through the space.
This reporter worries that despite its immaculate design, the layout is a tad busy as several doors open to empty walls and hallways end suddenly. Mr. Holmes boasts that he designed the building himself and that the form is divorced from function here. Of the empty doors he says, âit looked much better with a door there.â We cannot help but agree because after all, he is a man.Â
To disclose matters fully it should be noted that the first two reporters we sent to Chicago to write about the Holmes mansion never returned but itâs quite likely that they found husbands at the Exposition and in all the hubbub of whirlwind romance, simply forgot to inform us of their situation.
This is the best fucking flyer. Come to the fun weird existentially show Julie Ash and I run Saturday 10/22 at Exit Theatre Cafe at 8pm!!! #existentialism #existentialcrisis #existentialdread ALSO #standup #standupcomedy #comedy
Decor So Minimal, Youâll Wonder If You Even Exist
Minimalist design is all the rage so hereâs our handy guide to the 5 levels of minimalist decoration.
Level 1: No Clutter
Youâve learned to Kon Mari your spaces to leave only that which brings you joy. Take this a step further and foray into minimalism, the design style that answers the question âwhat brings you joy?â with âalmost nothing.â
Level 2: No Colors
Colors are just clutter for your eyes. Get those messy pigments out of your living space and by extension, out of your eye space. Youâll find stark whites, crisp grays, and enveloping blacks much more calming on the olâ rods ânâ cones. Plus, purposeful lack of color lets everyone know that you are minimalist on purpose, and eventually with purpose as you ascend the levels.
Level 3: No Shelves
If you need shelves, that means you have stuff and "having stuffâ is for poor people.
Level 4: No Things
âThingsâ are just âstuffâ and you already saw what we had to say about âstuff.â Youâre past things. Keep ascending the levels. Get rid of all your money.
Level 5: No You
Now that youâve attained Peak Decorâą which is to materially realize that the decor does not exist, youâve transcended your earthly form. Youâre now a being made of Healing White Taste. Congratulations!Â
Decorating While Black: 3 Gallery Walls to Express How Much Youâll Miss the Obamas
President Barack Obama has 107 days left in office, which means you have 106 days to plan how youâre going to honor him and his smart, beautiful family through your interior design scheme.Â
Weâre all well aware of the classic Black American Triptych of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X flanking Black Jesus, but letâs up the ante on your auntiesâ decor and celebrate the 21st century Black Jesus â President Obama â through the only medium that transcends race and religion: the gallery wall. Letâs take a look at some classic configurations.
9 Square
The 9 square gallery wall provides the three picture proportion of the Black Jesus triptych while updating it and expanding it into multiple dimensions. As perfect for rec rooms as it is for war rooms, this composition says âYes Obama is Black Jesus and possibly better and here are the receipts.â Heâs holding two babies, making him twice as good as a classical Madonna; Christ the Redeemer of Rio prays to HIM; he shoots rainbows out of his hands. Let us praise him.
Reflection
A reflection across the X-axis says what weâre all thinking: you are classy as all getout. Itâll look so good above your fireplace or above a table that ONLY holds decorative African masks and fertility sculptures. This arrangement looks best behind something, so a muted black and white palette keeps it in the background while also subtly hinting at the current racial climate in America. Also note the playful use of the mirror photo by Pete Souza: a literal reflection in a figurative reflection. Your mom will really relish that one.Â
Spiral
Have some fun! Spirals are fun so use this pattern to showcase your favorite fun photos of Barack and Michelle. And hey, throw in the Black Obama Jesus too to appease your Grampdaddy who literally believes that Obama is Black Jesus.Â
my day
Every DaVinci Code Movie
Tom Hanks: Look at this famous painting
Some Lady: I've spent my whole life studying this painting!
Tom Hanks: Look... closer.
Painting: THE END IS NIGH. XOXO, THE DEVIL
Some Lady: *gasps*
Klitgaarding in the news
so yeah, ghostbusters def made me cry.
Blog About It: Safe Spaces
In January I posted this a few hours after a particularly bad street harassment experience. I posted it in a secret women-only comedy facebook group because it was the only place I could be sure that I would be listened to, believed, supported, and not judged and that is fucking bullshit.
Itâs bullshit that women need secret/exclusive spaces to feel like their voice matters. Itâs bullshit that men make public existence terrifying and unbearable. Itâs bullshit that I couldnât be sure I could trust my male friends to believe me. Itâs bullshit that 20 comments on this post were âthis has happened to me too but it passes.â Itâs bullshit that male comics think that our secret all-women facebook groups are just for âgossipingâ.
Safe Spaces
I am so happy that all women spaces exist. Not just because I love doing an all-women show and performing for women who have been discouraged from going to comedy shows because they once had to listen to 8 white guys in a row talk about their dicks and how women are crazy. Not just because I love watching a male comicâs face drop when I tell him that my all-women show is incredible and that yes, we only book women. Not just because I feel filled with a warm glow of love and sisterhood by performing with women. I love women-only spaces the way I love abortion clinics and mental health crisis centers. We NEED this. Being a woman is so nightmarish that sometimes we just need a place where we can just feel like people. Exclusive safe spaces for marginalized groups (I wonât say âminoritiesâ because women and people of color are the global majority) let one shed their other-ness for a little while and be the sum of your parts that donât have anything to do with your skin or your parts or who you love.
Public Space is Men Only
I almost called this section âThe Myth of Public Space as Men Onlyâ but itâs a fucking fact of life. Read the mentions of any women who identifies as a feminist on Twitter. The superliminal message is that âyou should be ashamed of your thoughts and experience and the internet isnât a place for you.â Some men say that outright. Most say it by calling adult women âsweetheartâ.Â
The âIRLâ world is no better. The post screenshotted above is after an instance of getting catcalled in the middle of the day in the liberal paradise of San Francisco, California. It wasnât the first time and it wasnât the last. I stopped running a show in the Tenderloin because I was tired of asking the male comics on the show to walk with me for a block and a half to the train station after the show. Itâs infuriating that I have to think about what Iâm going to wear based on the neighborhood Iâm going to be in. Itâs sickening to dress conservatively or sloppily and still get yelled at. Women do not dress for other women. We dress for men because they have made us afraid and feel like we donât exist in a world where weâre allowed to dress for ourselves.
Itâs expensive to be a woman who has been assaulted. I was lucky. I was able to see a psychiatrist. I was able to buy and develop a dependency on prescription anxiety medication to treat my PTSD so I could take the train to my tech job without breaking down crying. I was able to work with a therapist to work through my PTSD and benzodiazepine dependency. I was able to afford to take a Lyft when I needed to be at work but knew I couldnât handle spending rush hour on a train squished between a bunch of men. I was able to afford to cancel a Lyft and then cancel another Lyft and keep cancelling until I got a female driver. Iâm so fucking lucky that I could afford the resources to not go completely insane over this stuff.Â
My âGood Guyâ Male Friends
I didnât put it in quotes because my male friends arenât good guys. They are. But they have all said things that made me feel like maybe I couldnât talk to them about this. Guys: when you talk about women as a group in a disparaging manner or argue that some women get ahead simply by being women, youâre broadcasting to your female friends that they canât trust you. When you ask why didnât I hit the guy who assaulted me, I now know that I canât trust you anymore. When you question womenâs lived experiences or derail the conversation so we can assure you that youâre one of the good ones, we stop trusting you.Â
It Happened to Me
Yes. All women. Not all of us have been raped, or abused, or assaulted, or killed. But all of us have been made to feel like less of a person because of our gender. And TOO MANY of us have been raped, abused, assaulted, and/or killed.Â
I'm just afraid that when I do get raped-- and let's face it, it's an inevitability that men will ruin sex for me. They've already ruined walking down the street, drinking, shopping, meeting up with friends, waiting to meet up with friends, working in an office, working in not an office-- basically public life in general. I just hope when it happens it's one of those fairy tale rapes.... ya know one where people will believe me and give a shit. Where I'm sober and wearing a burqa and where he's a stranger and I'm in a dark alley but not so dark an alley that I can't ID him as a black guy so cops will actually care. One of those rapes where the cops don't try to talk to you out of reporting it. Where a rape kit is performed. Where the staff doing the rape kit treats me with dignity. Where the rape kit is actually tested instead of languishing in a box on the lowest shelf in the basement evidence locker of a precinct for a decade. Where my case goes to court. Where people respect my decision to not go to court. Where Iâm not dragged by the press for âruining a young manâs promising career in XYZ.â You know, a fairy tale.
Gossiping
How dare anyone say what we do in all-women spaces is just gossiping. Gossiping is called âsharing intelligenceâ when men do it. Men minimize women talking to each other by making it seem frivolous and unvirtuous because they are afraid that we are talking about them. Women share information with each other to pool resources and identify threats. The CIA does the same thing. What a bunch of mean girl gossips they are.
So yeah. This isnât an âI Got Assaulted and Then Went Crazy AMAâ. Donât Ask me anything. Donât ask women anything. Just listen to us and believe us.Â