Lets have some fun

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

Mal was grateful that Tavi shifted the conversation away to something more lighthearted. She wasn’t great talking about herself, really she seemed to actively avoid going into anything too personal if she could help it. “Why Tavi, you look so innocent you’d probably be mistaken as a good nature turian that could do no wrong. Though, its always the innocent looking ones that are the most devious.” she smirked, crossing her arms while lazily turning her attention to him. “Like, you probably are the worst kind of deviant on the Citadel I’d wager.”

“Depends what you mean by deviant. Do you mean the sexy kind? Cause I would totally be willing to be the sexy kind of deviant.” Though maybe it wasn’t much of a jump from his current state to ‘deviant,’ depending on who you asked. In quite a few people’s minds just the fact that his major hobby had once been bar hopping was enough to qualify.

The merc boyfriend with a bondage fetish probably qualified too, now that he thought about it.

“Oh we got a proud deviant then? I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised it wouldn’t be that easy to rile you up with such a mundane bet. It’s essentially the same as saying water is wet, not really worth much to poke at the obvious.” Mal kept her smile in place as she leaned over and gently patted the side of Tavi’s arm. “ I really wouldn’t be shocked to learn you are in to all kinds of sexy, weird things, the innocent looking ones tend to drift that way.”

Aw, I’m mailing thousands of these to @tavianalvia and @nevertread-dalen

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“I was under the impression I was abducted and used as bait to lure out a mutual friend, I wouldn’t go so far to say I did something to deserve being a cyclopes for the rest of my life.” she shot back with a huff, her hands quickly shot up other cowl and readjusts it to cover her eyes more than it had before. The dig at it missing didn’t seem to bother her, but the remark on her somehow deserving it clearly struck a chord. Still, she continued on albeit it on a less playful note as she sank back into her seat. “In all honesty, you used in a smuggling business would be laughable, but unexpected. No one would really think someone as…innocent looking as you would be up to something illegal on a scale higher than pirating some music or something.”

He immediately blinked, then shook his head. “No, no, not deserving. I didn’t say deserving, it’s different than that. Just…” He sighed, flopping back on the couch to look up at the ceiling. “I’m bad at words and putting them together in ways that make sense. I just mean that… we both get deeper into things than probably people expect is all. Don’t mean nothing about us deserving it just… it happens.”

Slowly he let his gaze return to her. “…You think I look innocent though?” His mandibles fluttered into a slight smile, trying to bring some more of the playfulness back after his accidental drag into serious and potentially painful territory.

Mal was grateful that Tavi shifted the conversation away to something more lighthearted. She wasn’t great talking about herself, really she seemed to actively avoid going into anything too personal if she could help it. “Why Tavi, you look so innocent you’d probably be mistaken as a good nature turian that could do no wrong. Though, its always the innocent looking ones that are the most devious.” she smirked, crossing her arms while lazily turning her attention to him. “Like, you probably are the worst kind of deviant on the Citadel I’d wager.”

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“Oh, please. There isn’t much I could do even if I wanted to, Tavi. I’m a disgraced lady that does shipment jobs to get by while occasionally stealing funds from my clan to live a comfortable lifestyle.” Putting the dish aside she reached over and patted the missing plate he had been fidgeting with. “Really you act like I am part of some sort of shadowy organization that puts hits out on people or something.I mean I know I have this unusual flare to me, but do you really thing I am capable of hurting someone?” she asked, doing her best to sound hurt by the accusation.

“I know that I’m not the only one missing body parts over somethin’ I did is all.” He resisted the urge to reach out and tap at the side of her head she was missing the eye on, instead indicating it on his own face. “Would you say I seem like the kinda guy that would get involved in weird gun smuggling shit? You ain’t all predictable - think you’d like that part of it at least. If I called you predictable you might die or something.”

“I was under the impression I was abducted and used as bait to lure out a mutual friend, I wouldn’t go so far to say I did something to deserve being a cyclopes for the rest of my life.” she shot back with a huff, her hands quickly shot up other cowl and readjusts it to cover her eyes more than it had before. The dig at it missing didn’t seem to bother her, but the remark on her somehow deserving it clearly struck a chord. Still, she continued on albeit it on a less playful note as she sank back into her seat. “In all honesty, you used in a smuggling business would be laughable, but unexpected. No one would really think someone as...innocent looking as you would be up to something illegal on a scale higher than pirating some music or something.”

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“Hm, convinced you by what, torture? If so I should have some words with this mysterious walking target.” Mal gave an odd smile, her tone sweet though it hardly matched the malice in her eyes. She blinked and it had vanished as quick as it arrived. “Hm, though I suppose I could also be jumping the gun on putting the blame for your missing plate on a stranger.”

“No!” He huffed. “That person was fine, it was a big thing yeah but they had a good point.” Another noise as he poked at the missing plate. “After that though, that’s when things got shitty. Kidnapping, blackmail, all sorts of shit trying to get her out of prison. Like plates being pulled off and stuff.”

He noted her expression. “…They’re already arrested.”

“Oh, please. There isn’t much I could do even if I wanted to, Tavi. I’m a disgraced lady that does shipment jobs to get by while occasionally stealing funds from my clan to live a comfortable lifestyle.” Putting the dish aside she reached over and patted the missing plate he had been fidgeting with. “Really you act like I am part of some sort of shadowy organization that puts hits out on people or something.I mean I know I have this unusual flare to me, but do you really thing I am capable of hurting someone?” she asked, doing her best to sound hurt by the accusation.

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

Mal regarded the missing plate with interest, leaning slightly closer to the spot in a mixture of wanting to invade Tavi’s personal space, among getting a better look at it.“Battle scars, you? Spirits I am out of touch with things. When and what on this fine Citadel were you doing to earn something like that?”

“It was a while ago.” His mandibles fluttered - sure the memories were dark but he finally got the chance to be the interesting one who had adventures. “I used to work in a weapons store and it was a front for smuggling. I knew about it but wasn’t really involved - then someone kinda. Convinced me to turn over on my boss. It… It wasn’t great. But it got me outta there.”

“Hm, convinced you by what, torture? If so I should have some words with this mysterious walking target.” Mal gave an odd smile, her tone sweet though it hardly matched the malice in her eyes. She blinked and it had vanished as quick as it arrived. “Hm, though I suppose I could also be jumping the gun on putting the blame for your missing plate on a stranger.”

#ooc #dood so long as I know which meme its from send all the memes all the time

sinnnieren

Please reblog this if it is okay to send you memes a few hours after you reblogged them. So timezones/work do not lock out some people of meme fun

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“Oh? What if I am opposed to hanging out with the common rabble yet have few options to elevate my status?” Mal replied, her features blank for all of ten seconds before a smirk cracked through. “Then again, you are certainly more fun than fancy folk. Working in dealing illegal weapons,, sneaking through vents with some stranger, you’re live little adventures daily opposed to the socialites who play the power game.”

“Well if it’s all the same to you I’ll stick to the vents part of things from now on.” He lifted his arm and rolled his sleeve up a bit to show her the spot on his arm where a plate used to be. “I prefer for this to be the only new scar I get outta my adventures so I’m avoiding the fuck outta the illegal weapons deal.”

#tavianalvia #sorry for the late reply m8

Mal regarded the missing plate with interest, leaning slightly closer to the spot in a mixture of wanting to invade Tavi’s personal space, among getting a better look at it.“Battle scars, you? Spirits I am out of touch with things. When and what on this fine Citadel were you doing to earn something like that?”

PERSONALITY TEST [ ( ENTP, -A/-T) ] : The Debater

The Debater personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. Debaters don’t do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, but for the simple reason that it’s fun. No one loves the process of mental sparring more than Debaters, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points.

TAGGED: @tavianalvia TAGGING: whoever reads this

#ooc #character things #hmmm

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

Naturally she enjoyed watching Tavi process the information, really she couldn’t blame him for second guessing her answer. “Hm, here I thought you choose the string bean life by choice” he teased while poking at his side.

“Of course, this sort of thing never really goes away, though now I mix paste into my diet. Now and then I like to pretend I’m normal and eat extravagant meals, wave my credits around, pretend to people that yes,’ this is how I eat normally, isn’t my life so grand?’ “ she let out a chuckle, it sounded sincere enough.

Tavi squeaked at the poke, stifling the urge to giggle. He was not going to look ticklish in front of Mal or his sides would never be safe again. “For what it’s worth, you wouldn’t be the only one trying to look fancier than you usually are. If you got the creds might as well just go for your fancy meals, heh.”

He wasn’t even sure who actually eats that nicely regularly. Someone had to be but hell if they’d ever deign to look at him. “I like that you’re not that fancy though. Think you’d be a little more opposed to hanging out here if you were.”

“Oh? What if I am opposed to hanging out with the common rabble yet have few options to elevate my status?” Mal replied, her features blank for all of ten seconds before a smirk cracked through. “Then again, you are certainly more fun than fancy folk. Working in dealing illegal weapons,, sneaking through vents with some stranger, you’re live little adventures daily opposed to the socialites who play the power game.”

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“Well drat, you are just no fun when it comes to these sort of things, are you? I had this whole ludicrous story planned too.” She let out an exaggerated sigh, as if he had let her down somehow. Of course she had no story but it was a fun way to stall to compose her thoughts.

“It isn’t really all that special, some families prefer to feed their children high nutrient foods because some Dalatrass says its good, or some fad that caught on. Though I suppose in my case it was more out of necessity. My siblings and I didn’t have a very good start.” Mal paused to examine a particularly deformed looking nugget, scrutinizing it briefly before biting off a chunk and putting it down into a pile of half eaten fries. “Born very sick you see, everything about us processed abnormally fast, even for my kind, our bodies really, REALLY hated us. We practically wasted away up until our clan doctors managed to get us the pellets. They were super packed with our essential dietary needs, but they tasted as pleasant as you could imagine”

Tavi listened, humming. Somehow, even asking for the serious answer, he hadn’t expected the truth. Even now a good half his brain was dedicated to deciding if this was the truth or not - likely had to be, Mal’s lies were way more flamboyant. “So that explains why they don’t taste good. Medicine more than food.”

He gestured to himself. “Kinda the same, not as extreme. Ain’t never wasted away but accordin’ to doctors I have to load on the calories to keep going cause my metabolisms weird. Never gets to turn into muscles either, heh, ain’t a good look for a turian.” He tilted his head. “You still have the same kinda deal? Gotta eat… nutrition pellets?”

Naturally she enjoyed watching Tavi process the information, really she couldn’t blame him for second guessing her answer. “Hm, here I thought you choose the string bean life by choice” he teased while poking at his side.

“Of course, this sort of thing never really goes away, though now I mix paste into my diet. Now and then I like to pretend I’m normal and eat extravagant meals, wave my credits around, pretend to people that yes,’ this is how I eat normally, isn’t my life so grand?’ “ she let out a chuckle, it sounded sincere enough.

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

Mal was a picky eater in the literal sense, every now and then she’d pick up a fry to nibble it before setting it down and chewing into a nugget, never quite finishing either before moving on to the next whole fry.

“Hm…well I could give you my answer or an honest one if you’d like, though I think you’d prefer one over the other.”

He hoped she intended to finish those fractions of food. “I’ll take the honest one on this one. I know that might be a mistake, but I’ll take the risk just this one time. If I get traumatized, I’ll keep it in mind for next time.”

“Well drat, you are just no fun when it comes to these sort of things, are you? I had this whole ludicrous story planned too.” She let out an exaggerated sigh, as if he had let her down somehow. Of course she had no story but it was a fun way to stall to compose her thoughts.

“It isn’t really all that special, some families prefer to feed their children high nutrient foods because some Dalatrass says its good, or some fad that caught on. Though I suppose in my case it was more out of necessity. My siblings and I didn’t have a very good start.” Mal paused to examine a particularly deformed looking nugget, scrutinizing it briefly before biting off a chunk and putting it down into a pile of half eaten fries. “Born very sick you see, everything about us processed abnormally fast, even for my kind, our bodies really, REALLY hated us. We practically wasted away up until our clan doctors managed to get us the pellets. They were super packed with our essential dietary needs, but they tasted as pleasant as you could imagine”

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“You should feel terrible for that joke.” Mal

“Hm, but no not everyone got that deal, just me and my brothers, sort of a super neutriant deal to keep us healthy as possible.

“You took every scrap of shame I got, you gotta deal with the bad joke consequences.” Tavi stuck his tongue out. “Now eat before I steal ‘em back cause you were mean to me.”

He did steal one of the fries. But just one and he ended up giving it a suspicious look before tearing it in half, dropping one half back and popping the other into his mouth. Half would for sure avoid the stomachache at least.

“So what about nutrient pellets made them think that was the definitely healthy way to go? That’s like feeding your kids fish food.”

Mal was a picky eater in the literal sense, every now and then she’d pick up a fry to nibble it before setting it down and chewing into a nugget, never quite finishing either before moving on to the next whole fry.

“Hm...well I could give you my answer or an honest one if you’d like, though I think you’d prefer one over the other.”

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“No, no of course a turian’s smile is far more precious than the soulless empty gaze of french fries. But there are probably a few people out there that would be glad to chow down on their favorite childhood heroes.”

she stretched out, laying there motionless before decided her reign over the sofa had come to an end and sat up and scooted to the corner closest to Tavi.”At least you had that luxury, my meals were painfully boring little nutrient pellets.”

“I mean… Okay, yeah, nutrient pellets sounds boring. You saying salarians don’t have anything cute for kids or whatever? It’s just pellets? Okay, no complaining about meat slabs shaped like vidset characters ever again, promise. You win with the pellets.”

Soon he had the little plate of french fries ready and he dropped it on her lap, flopping down next to her. “Eat up, they’re happy to see you.”

“You should feel terrible for that joke.” Mal

“Hm, but no not everyone got that deal, just me and my brothers, sort of a super neutriant deal to keep us healthy as possible.

[TEXT]: Dear Tavian, we regret to inform you that Allos Mal has passed on from this world. She has left all her booty shorts, high heel pumps and kinky snuggle sweater to you in her will...how has she passed on you might ask? From boredom of course! This is her spooky ghost letting you know all is terrible in the afterlife.

[TEXT] you had me worried at first you know considering how long its been since I’ve seen you. Also your pumps won’t fit me.

[TEXT] glad to hear you aint dead though, just bored. You’re the one that ran off somewhere!

allos-mal:

“Who knows? Maybe it does, or maybe some food addict can look down at those plucky little fries and know they are eating pure happiness to fill hole in their joyless life?”she answered back, her tone wavering from mock confusion to amusement. It couldn’t be helped she was a lady of dark humor.

“Or, you know maybe it is some kind of kids meal. Sheesh, what does a turian kid friendly meals look like if they lack the dead eye smiley face shaped foods?.” An invasive voice in the back of her mind mused that they were probably gun shaped given how their culture seemed so military like.

Tavi raised a browplate. “Well for one we don’t smile like that, so we don’t get smiley fries. Also our kids just get the same food but smaller - there’s only so many things you can do with a diet that’s mostly meat y’know.”

He paused. “Sometimes they’re shaped kinda like characters from the vidset but I always thought that was kinda morbid. I don’t wanna eat General Atticus, y’know?”

“No, no of course a turian’s smile is far more precious than the soulless empty gaze of french fries. But there are probably a few people out there that would be glad to chow down on their favorite childhood heroes.”

she stretched out, laying there motionless before decided her reign over the sofa had come to an end and sat up and scooted to the corner closest to Tavi.”At least you had that luxury, my meals were painfully boring little nutrient pellets.”