A LONG DAY LONGER.

ind. gideon goddard. canon divergent.

[envisas-blog]

          ‘ out. ’ he pours gideon’s cup and then his own, stirs in the sugar, wishes elliot were here. so he wouldn’t have to have a conversation with gideon goddard – who is perfectly pleasant, but in whom tyrell has a very limited interest – and so he won’t have to sit around and wait for him to come back. ‘ he’s running errands. ’

[allsafer-blog]

           ‘ Do you know when he’ll be back? ’  This is like pulling teeth. For both of them, he’s sure, but less limited answers would make this less uncomfortable for both of them. Gideon comes closer to collect his coffee and then skitters away again, looking down the length of the apartment, pacing down it to look through the barely-open blinds beyond Elliot’s desk. Gideon doesn’t know if he’s passing the time until Elliot comes back or waiting until Tyrell’s hospitality runs out. Maybe both.  ‘ I’m sorry to be so nosy, but - how do you and Elliot know each other? ’

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

        Tom’s whole body TENSES at what Gideon was implying. His jaw tightens, but outwardly he does not change. He keeps the smile on his face. On the inside, he feels cold and  

                         E M P T Y . 

      The first time it happened, I was scared out of my mind.  Gideon’s dark eyes staring back at him, anger and pain shining in them  – Is this what you do with your life, Thomas? You sleep with other men behind my back for money. He doesn’t stop walking; he’s always been a functional severely depressed person. Tom turns to him, smiling. His thoughts are bitter:

                         You don’t really give a FUCK, don’t give me that. 

          “I really appreciate it.” Words mean nothing to him, but he has NO expectations. He won’t see Gideon again after this; this has occurred before. 

[allsafer-blog]

         ‘ Thomas — ’  they could step into the shop, now, have lunch, and move on, and probably not talk again for another year at the minimum. And Gideon would feel bad about it the way he feels bad about anything, when the hour gets too late, when he’s left with his thoughts, but never really do a thing to fix it. Gideon catches Tom by the wrist.  ‘ I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be petty or take a stab at you. You really have, you know. You’ve gone through a lot and come out of it on the other side. I do believe that. ’ 

         His mouth twists.  ‘ I don’t know if I ever apologised for being so hard on you, back in college. ’  He drops Tom’s wrist and tucks his hands into his pockets.  ‘ Standing on the street isn’t the best time to talk about it, but - you should know. I’m sorry. ’

[envisas-blog]

          how has he been? that’s a question tyrell hasn’t asked himself in a while, and he hasn’t been conscious of it until he hears gideon saying it. all things considered, he could be worse. gideon doesn’t need to know that.

                ‘ oh, ’ he says, and sighs, and shrugs a little. ‘ everyone was hit hard, i think. ’ that’s suitably vague. ‘ – milk and sugar? ’

[allsafer-blog]

          Gideon is somewhat grateful that Tyrell glosses over the subject. He was trying to be polite - respectful, even, because at one point in life Tyrell was technically one of his employers.  ‘ Just sugar, thanks. ’  He crosses to Elliot’s little table and rests a hand on the surface. Steadying himself, almost.  ‘ Where is Elliot? ’

[memoryserved]

   “Uhm, I uh, I’m in – a couple of different lanes, actually,” they start-stop stammer, “I suppose my ‘real job’ – ” in air quotes “– is in a coffee shop, and then I also do some tutoring – music tutoring – and painting, you know, by commission – mostly.”

It’s strange to hear their life sound so busy against how many hours they’ve spent in a bed wishing for willpower. It’s a gratifying kind of strange. They stop cupping the pulse under their jaw after realizing they’re rubbing their neck. “Very – artsy. I know.”

[allsafer-blog]

          He supplies one or two muted uh-uhs and mhms whilst they’re speaking, and then echoes:  ‘ That is very artistic! ’  He’s impressed, if that wasn’t clear. Gideon beams at them.  ‘ What instruments do you teach? Is it music theory as well? Stop me if I’m being nosy. ’

[allsafer-blog]

to be 100% absolutely clear i’d never force this ship on anyone but ‘gideon drinking coffee alone at night and being appalled at himself for getting a wee crush on elliot alderson’ is such a vaguely important aesthetic. it’s been a whole year and i’ve never stopped thinking about gideon mentally beating himself up for this. and then getting madder because elliot low/highkey backstabbed him

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

        There’s a DEFEATED look in his eyes. “No.” He said softly, forcing the empty smile. “But I appreciate it.” It was still fresh – still made it feel like his heart was BLEEDING. “I’ll bounce back. I always do.” He was forcing himself to be optimistic. 

[allsafer-blog]

         ‘ I believe that. You’ve dealt with far worse. ’  It’s not a subtle reference. Gideon’s expression flashes through guilt before returning to concern. He’s grateful that he can see the ramen shop ahead of them.  ‘ Tom, I - I know we haven’t spoken in a long time, but I’m always here for you. I mean that. ’

[envisas-blog]

          ‘ mr goddard. ’ tyrell is holding a dustpan in the hand that isn’t resting on the doorjamb. when he shifts a little, the curls of broken mug in the pan bump against each other and make little tinkling noises. his face automatically shifts into a smile. he wishes he hadn’t opened the door. ‘ elliot isn’t here, unfortunately. ’ easier to repeat what’s already been made clear than attempt to explain why he’s here at all. he glances over his shoulder back inside. his toes curl up in his socks. ‘ please, come in. ’

               when he heads inside he leaves the door open and trusts that gideon will close it after him. he doesn’t know how elliot will feel about gideon being in his apartment while he’s not here, but if he were here, then it wouldn’t be up to tyrell to make these decisions. ‘ i’d offer you a latte but i’m having issues with the machine. ’ he knows where he put elliot’s old french press. tipping the shards of broken china into the trash, he sets down the dustpan and rescues the press from one of elliot’s cupboards. ‘ coffee? ’

[allsafer-blog]

          Gideon steps inside and closes the door as quietly as he can. He’s overly conscious of the space he’s in. Elliot owns a coffee machine, okay. Gideon leans forward and glances down the length of the apartment. This is weird. Gideon feels guilty and invasive and pulls his eyes back to watch Tyrell, instead, because (despite being the objectively strangest thing to find in this apartment, at this time) as the only living person here, he seems the right thing to look at.  

          ‘ Uh, yes. Yes, thank you. ’  He tucks his hands in his pockets. Takes them out again. Puts them back again. His discomfort is palpable.  ‘ I was sorry to hear about what happened. That you were let go from E Corp. How - how have you been? ’

[flmblr]

Weekend (2011) dir. Andrew Haigh

[memoryserved]

   “And I won’t speak on his behalf, but – I see why he likes you.”

Off the top of their head, they don’t know how long they’ve been with Elliot. It takes uhming and humming and counting back on their fingertips to gain some perspective, and then it takes a brief moment of oh, wow, time really happened to us.

   “I think – six months, if memory serves.” And they say that like it’s good news, you know. The kind of headline you’re excited to share with friends. “Horrible of him to keep a treasure like me hidden for that long, I know.”

[allsafer-blog]

          ‘ Oh, thank you. ’  He’s genuinely touched, as he tends to be. His employees matter to him. He wants to be liked, valued, by the people who work for him. Gideon so desperately wants approval.  

          ‘ Gosh. Six months. It really is cruel of him. ’  He smiles.  ‘ It’s good to see him getting on in life, but a little less about him, hm? What’s your line of work? ’

[allsafer-blog]

@envisas.

           ‘ I was looking for Elliot. ’

           Gideon teeters. The toes of his shoes are touching the invisible line between the end of the hallway and the start of Elliot’s floor. He’s never been to Elliot’s apartment before, and if he hadn’t already felt strange for pulling his address to come and find him - he certainly feels it now, in full force.  ‘ I didn’t realise you and Elliot knew each other. ’

[allsafer-blog]

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

        He supposed that was like any other real business. Ups and downs. Tom walked with him, hands in his pockets. A long as he liked. He wondered how long that would end up being. Though the question made his smile turn bitter. “I was recently fired.” Tom said cheerfully, as cheerful as he could manage at the fucking absurdity of the situation. “My last client and I had artistic differences, so it’s back to the drawing board.” 

[allsafer-blog]

          ‘ Oh, Tom. ’  His brow creases with sympathy - concern, even. Gideon hasn’t had to worry about being fired for a long time - not unless you count E Corp considering letting AllSafe go - but he remembers the feeling, the weight of it.  ‘ I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? ’

[allsafer-blog]

@memoryserved: which squids are jewish?? gideon?? im applying all [dan avidan]’s jewish stories to gideon now memoryserved: “when i was younger because i was raised jewish, my parents were like, you can never tell the other kids santa claus isn’t real. and im like, ‘how the fuck do they not know santa claus isnt real??? like LOGISTICALLY thats IMPOSSIBLE’”

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

       Tom wished it would have been a different time he’d run into Gideon, in all honesty. This was his first low in years, where it’d take hours to get out of bed, where he would relive scenes over and over in his mind. Where he didn’t eat much at all, where he … had periods of complete blankness. He felt it as he stared at Gideon’s back as the other took a step forward. When Tom met his step, he had a soft smile on his features. 

      “Ah, it must be nice, running your own company, though – making your own rules and having others obey them.” Tom couldn’t imagine it; he worked better alone. “I won’t keep you too long.”

[allsafer-blog]

     ‘Ah - it has its ups and downs.’ Finances, namely. They were the real killer. The constant threat of going under, should they screw it up too badly with eCorp or should the corporation internalise all its security. He’d wanted to expand after getting the eCorp account, to even out the messiness made by so much of their resources going to one client. He hadn’t been able to afford it. ‘But, uhm. Enough of that.’ His phone is gone away, in his pocket, forgotten. ‘You can keep me as long as you’d like. How – are things going for you?’

[foraedaeiist]

send me a character's name + a season and i'll write a drabble of our characters in that season!

or send ☁ for a drabble of all four seasons.

[campbreakaway-blog]

He doesn’t stumble, but there’s a certain pause in his gait, momentary as it is, unmistakeable for what it is: a moment of deliberation, deciding, next time he will kiss Gideon a moment longer before stepping back, and place their hands over one another’s. It all makes a fine and loving plan that Orson has forgotten about by the time he’s distracted by the neverending contents of his rucksack in the hall. He finds twenty other ideas while rummaging around before he brings back the lip balm. “Your lips seem okay,” Orson reproaches while handing Gideon the tube, and then in a brief moment of lucidity, kisses him again. “Better’n okay! You’re just in it cause it tastes like orange, arentcha.”

[allsafer-blog]

     ‘What’s marriage if I can’t steal your things for completely arbitrary reasons, huh?’ He’s all fond and warm at the edges, eyes crinkled as he makes liberal use of the balm. True, it tastes good. Maybe his lips were a little dry. He smacks his lips for effect. ‘I think I used a little much.’ It’s an excuse, duh. He catches Orson’s chin, kisses him again, a little lingering. All things considered, orange and cedarwood isn’t a bad thing to smell of. ‘There we go.’ He presses the balm back into his hand.

[memoryserved]

The topic is a little out of their depth, but they like the way Gideon talks about it, the way he’s noticeably brighter than some thirty seconds ago. He cares. It’s their favourite trait. Kennedy laughs with the back of their hand to their nose, which makes no impact on the volume of their snort. “Well – I don’t know almost anybody who really enjoys their job. You, being, the obvious exception, apparently.”

[allsafer-blog]

     Laughter breaks out of his chest in turn, his chin tipping down against his chest. ‘Oh, there’s plenty to not enjoy, you believe me. I just enjoy what I’m good at and I like people. I like Elliot.’ He scratches the bridge of his nose. ‘How long have you two been together?’