I still remember the first time I really felt insignificant because of my gender.
I was outside with my mom and grandma, sometime in the spring. I was a lot younger, maybe 12 or 13? just starting to grow up right. Anyway, I was sitting in a chair, and my mom looked at me and asked why I was sitting so far back. I told her, in that kind of 'duh, mom' voice, that it was because that was where the back of the chair was. And she told me, looked me in the eye and told me, that's not how girls are supposed to sit.
Now, at this point I was completely disbelieving. I thought it was just because it was bad for my back or something (though I don't know how sitting properly would be bad for a back) because we had back problems in the family, you know? So I was just like, 'what? why can't I sit back, this is more comfortable?'
She told me it was because comfort was made for men. Now, my mother had never, and has never since, said anything like this. Anything that struck me as particularly stupid. Only this, I came to learn, was not stupid, but a fact of life. Women do not sit back and relax. They are ever-perched on the edge of their chairs, sitting up perfectly straight despite the fact that they have an extra load of boobs to hold up.
So I tried to please people. I tried to sit without touching the back of the chair. And I started slumping, more and more, because my back just couldn't handle it. So now, instead of sitting back, I just slump like there's a whole world of male-dominated stupidity on my shoulders. Probably because there kind of is.
That was the first time I ever felt less important for being a girl.
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