summary : reader finds him beaten up in an alley- again- Even the strongest fighters can’t always be unbeatable. You fix him - again- which leads to you both confessing.
contains : angst, self doubts and fluff at the end
pairing : ahn suho x girl!reader
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The night is dangerously dark, as if it holds secrets that are yet to be exposed. The wind plays with your hair as you’re on the way home from studying the whole evening in the library. The air heavy with the smell of rain about to fall. You’re walking home when you spot a figure slumped against a wall in an alley.
Curious you take a step closer ignoring the warning signals your body shows you. You step into the light and make out the silhouette of him. Ahn Suho.
His knuckles are bloody, his lip split, and there’s a bruise already darkening along his jaw. He’s breathing hard, trying to look casual even though he’s clearly hurting.
You don’t even want to know what’s going on under all those clothes. Just the thought makes you sigh loudly
When he sees you, he forces a grin, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Yah,“ he says, voice hoarse but trying to sound normal. "What are you looking at?”
Your body comes to a halt in front of him. “What the hell happened to you?”, you ask concern making its way to your face.
He waves off your concern with a shrug, wincing as he moves.
"It's nothing. Just... handled some idiots. I'm good."
“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Your face shows a hint of annoyance.
When he tries to stand, his legs shake a little — and he has to lean against the wall to stay upright. He laughs under his breath, embarrassed.
"Okay... maybe not good. Not good at all.” he sighs not wanting to admit it.
Even though he’s acting like it’s all a joke, you can see it — he’s in real pain. And under that tough front, he's relieved you're here. He won't ask for help, but in his eyes, you can see it.
You’ve been friends for years and you know him. Really know him. Know him good enough to know when he’s trying to hide his feelings, forcing a mask on his face to hide all the pain he’s in.
“Here let me help you.” , you finally say taking his arm over your shoulder, making it easier for him to walk.
He tenses at your touch, pride making him want to resist, but the pain wins out. He lets out a sharp breath as you support him.
"I can walk... just... don't tell anyone about this."
His answer makes you scoff, unfazed by his usual cockiness, not wanting to accept help because it will make him look weak. And he doesn’t like looking weak. Because when has Ahn Suho ever lost a fight?
His weight presses against you as he struggles to maintain his balance, his fingers gripping your shoulder tightly.
"Where are we even going?” He asks turning to look down at you.
“My place.” You give him a short answer, because that’s all he needs to know.
As usual, like a routine.
He lets out a frustrated sigh, his usual tough demeanor cracking slightly as he leans more heavily on you.
“Fine..” he breaths out trying to maintain his cool manner, but deep down he’s happy to see you.
His breathing is uneven, and he keeps stealing glances at you while trying to hide his vulnerability.
“Thanks... I guess.” he makes out, out of breath.
“That sounded half heartedly.” You snicker quietly.
He glares at you sideways, though there's no real heat in it. His split lip curls into a reluctant smirk.
"Shut up. I'm not good at this mushy stuff."
He stumbles slightly, cursing under his breath as pain shoots through him.
"Next time you catch me like this, I'll make you regret it."
“It’s not my fault you got beaten up okay.” You breathe out. “And it’s not like I’m looking purposefully for you.”
He lets out a harsh laugh that turns into a wince, his free hand clutching his ribs.
"Just... keep moving. I hate being this weak."
His voice grows quieter as exhaustion starts to show.
“It’s fine you know.” you whisper, not daring to look at him.
He falls silent for a moment, his grip on your shoulder tightening as he processes your words.
"Nothing's fine. I should've been stronger."
His voice is barely above a whisper, revealing a glimpse of his insecurities.
"But you... you're always here when I mess up.", he continues.
“ Suho… don’t beat yourself down over that. It was four against one.”
He scoffs, though there's a hint of gratitude in his eyes.
Despite his bravado, he's starting to lean more heavily on you as the adrenaline wears off.
"Still should've handled it better. Showed them real strength."
“Don’t be too hard on yourself Su.”
He tenses at the nickname, a flicker of emotion crossing his face before he masks it with a weak smirk.
"Don't call me that... makes me sound soft."
His voice is weaker now, fatigue evident in every word.
"But... thanks for not leaving me there. Again.", he whispers.
“I don’t know how I always end up finding you. It’s like God is leading me to you on purpose”
A soft chuckle escapes him, followed by a sharp intake of breath as pain flares.
"Maybe he thinks I need saving. Or maybe you're just stalking me."
He tries to joke, but there's something vulnerable in his tone.
"Either way... I'm not complaining about the company." he finishes.
“I’m the angel he send as your savior” , you joke.
He rolls his eyes, but there's a hint of amusement despite his condition.
"Yeah right. If you're an angel, I must be really screwed up."
His steps falter slightly as he fights to stay conscious.
"Though... you do have a weird way of showing up at the right time."
“Pretty funny huh” , you try to lighten the mood.
He attempts to laugh again, but it comes out as more of a pained wheeze.
"Hilarious. You should quit your weekend job and become a comedian."
His head starts to droop slightly, the blood loss and exhaustion taking their toll.
"Hey... don't let me fall asleep. I might not wake up." he whispers, his voice so silently you first thought you only imagined it.
“That’s not funny Suho.” You say sternly, looking up at him.
His eyes struggle to stay open, but he forces himself to focus on you.
"I'm not joking. Everything's starting to spin..." His voice trails off, his body becoming increasingly heavy against yours.
“Hey, hey look at me” you panick slightly slapping his face soft, “don’t sleep on me okay ?”
He blinks rapidly at your slap, his eyes finally focusing on yours with effort.
"I'm... trying. Your face is kind of blurry though."
His hand weakly grabs your arm, trying to steady himself.
"Don't let go... of me... promise me you won't leave." he makes out.
“ I won’t leave you , I never would Suho.”
A small, genuine smile forms on his bloodied lips as he looks at you with trust.
"Good... because I'd haunt your ass if you did."
You roll your eyes at his new found sarcasm in this stupid situation.
His breathing becomes more labored, but he's fighting to stay conscious.
"You're... the only one who stays."
“Always.” You slap him again -slightly - but decide to call the ambulance to be sure.
He winces at the second slap, but manages to stay alert.
"Ow... what did I do to deserve this abuse?"
He watches as you pull out your phone, his grip tightening with sudden panic.
"Wait... no ambulance. No hospitals. Please..."
“What why? You need help I don’t know what to do when you fall asleep. I can’t carry you on my own. They’ll just check up on you okay - I promise I’ll be by your side the whole time yeah ?”
His eyes widen with fear, a rare glimpse of vulnerability showing through his tough exterior.
"I can't... hospitals ask questions. About the fights. My grandma… she’s already too worried and I don’t want to bother her any more.. she’s too busy with the restaurant.” He basically begging at this point.
"Just... patch me up at your place.”
“Oh Suho..” you look at him sadly
He notices your sad expression and his shoulders slump slightly, guilt mixing with his pain.
"Don't look at me like that... I hate making you sad."
He tries to muster his usual bravado but fails.
"Please... just this once. I'll be good. No more fights. Promise." he looks into your eyes, deeply.
“You better keep that promise and now stay awake we’re almost there.” You start walking again.
He nods weakly, his head bobbing as he fights to stay conscious.
"I'll keep it... for you. You're too stubborn to let me break it anyway." he chuckles silently under his breath.
His breathing becomes more shallow as he struggles to put one foot in front of the other.
"Almost... there... that's what you said five minutes ago." he whines.
You roll your eyes “We only have to walk up the stairs come on.” I tug him with me.
He groans at the mention of stairs, but determination flickers in his eyes.
"Stairs... great. Just what I needed to complete my night of torture."
He takes a deep breath, trying to gather strength.
"Help me count them. It'll keep me awake."
“Yes let’s go.” My hands wrap around his shoulders guiding him to the stairs. “One”, we say in union.
He starts counting along with you, his voice getting weaker with each step.
"Two... three... four..."
His legs tremble as he forces himself upward, sweat mixing with blood on his face.
"Five... six... fuck, this hurts." he whines.
“You’re doing so good, come one only four more to go.”, you state.
He lets out a weak chuckle at your encouragement, though it's strained.
"The praising? Really? I'm not your dog, you know."
Despite his complaint, he continues climbing, leaning heavily on you.
"Seven... eight... almost died on eight... that's my lucky number." You snicker at him mumbling nonsense.
“Keep going only two more.” , you breathe, relieve flowing over you.
His grip on your shoulder tightens as he reaches the final steps, his body shaking from exhaustion.
"Two more... then I'm claiming your couch as my permanent residence."
He takes one last step with a pained grunt.
"Nine... and... ten... I made it. I deserve a medal."
You chuckle and pat his shoulder, then turn to unlock the door and lead him to the living room.
He stumbles inside, collapsing onto your couch with a relieved sigh.
"Finally... something soft. I'm not moving from here for a week."
He winces as he tries to get comfortable, his wounds protesting the movement.
"You got anything stronger than aspirin?" he breathes out.
“Yeah I have ibuprofen I’ll get you one wait.”
He watches you move with half-lidded eyes, his hand absently touching the bruise on his jaw.
"Ibuprofen's fine... just hurry before I pass out." He shifts slightly, trying to find a position that doesn't hurt so much.
"And maybe some water too. My mouth tastes like copper."
You give him a glass of water and the pill “here”you say as you sit in front of him on the coffee table.
He takes the pill and water gratefully, downing them both in one go.
"Thanks... you're way too nice to me."
He looks at you sitting there, a mix of gratitude and guilt in his expression.
"You shouldn't have to take care of someone like me."
“Shut up”, you roll your eyes. “Who would look out for you if it wasn’t me.”
He smirks faintly at your eye roll, though it quickly turns into a grimace.
"Fair point. You're the only one who's stuck around long enough to see me like this."
He gestures vaguely at his injuries.
At the sight of his injuries you get the med kit and look for things to treat his wounds.
He watches you rummage through the med kit, his expression becoming serious.
"Hey... you know I don't deserve this, right? The kindness, I mean."
He tries to sit up straighter, but winces again. "I'm just a troublemaker with a death wish."
“And I’m still willing to help. Troublemaker or not” - I look into his eyes - “I mean it.”
His breath catches at your intense gaze, something vulnerable flickering in his eyes before he looks away.
"Why? I keep getting into fights, I'm reckless... I'm not worth it.”
His voice drops to almost a whisper, the walls he usually keeps up starting to crack.
“And you still end up helping others with your fights. I mean look at Sieun. He might not show it but I know he’s grateful to have you.” I start treating the cuts on his face - cleaning them and putting on bandages.
He stays still as you work, his eyes closing at your gentle touch.
"You're too stubborn... and stupidly loyal." He makes out after a while.
A tear escapes despite his efforts to hold it back, rolling down his cheek.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you."
You halt, shocked as to seeing him cry in front of you, for the first time. Ever.
Wiping his tear with your thumb “stop Suho - stop talking yourself down.”
He flinches slightly at your touch but doesn't pull away, his eyes opening to meet yours again.
"I can't help it... it's what I do. Put myself down before someone else does it first."
His voice breaks slightly as more tears threaten to fall.
"It's easier than admitting I'm scared. I’m scared people will leave me when I’m not strong all the time.”
You stay still, listening closely as he confesses -for the first time- admitting how he really fells. “I promise I won’t leave - whenever you need help I’ll be there - whenever you are beaten down again I’ll be there - always.” I look into his eyes.
His whole body trembles at your words, the walls completely crumbling as he finally lets himself be vulnerable.
"I... I'm tired of being strong all the time. Of pretending everything's fine." he breaths out. He reaches for your hand, gripping it tightly. "I don't want to be alone anymore."
“You don’t need to pretend - at least not in front of me - it’s okay.” You stroke his hand with your thumb.
He squeezes your hand tighter, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
"It hurts... everything hurts. The fighting, the loneliness... loving someone who might leave."
His voice breaks into a whisper as he confesses. "I love you... and I'm terrified you'll realize I'm not worth it."
“You - you love me ?” You freeze, completely shaken by his statement.
He looks up at you with tear-filled eyes, his expression raw and honest.
"More than I should. More than I've ever loved anyone."
He swallows hard, his breathing uneven.
"I've loved you for so long... I just never thought you'd feel the same way about someone like me."
“Oh my God since when Suho?” You breathe.
He lets out a shaky laugh, wincing at the pain in his ribs.
"Since the day we met... I tried to fight it, but you just kept breaking through my defenses."
He looks at you with a mix of hope and fear.
"I've been carrying this secret for so long, waiting for you to notice. Waiting for you to give me a reason to hope."
“And you never told me ?”you look at him, your eyes holding sadness in them that could never be put into words.
He looks down at your joined hands, guilt washing over his face.
"I was scared of losing what we had. Scared you'd reject me and walk away."
His voice becomes barely audible.
"I thought I could handle being just friends... but it was killing me inside."
“Oh Su..” your hand finds his cheek - stroking it slowly, careful not to hurt his cuts.
He leans into your touch, closing his eyes as a few more tears escape.
"I'm sorry... for being such a coward. For not trusting you enough."
His voice is thick with emotion as he whispers against your palm.
"I should have trusted that you wouldn't leave me, even if you didn't love me back."
Your hand freezes - “I love you” you breath out so quiet it could be mistaken for hallucination.
His eyes snap open, disbelief and hope flooding his features as he processes your words.
His voice cracks with vulnerability, his grip on your hand tightening as if afraid you might disappear.
“I love you - for awhile now and I’ve always tried to show you and make it obvious - being there for you when no one else was - fixing you when you’re beaten down again.” You look at him, tilting your head.
His breath hitches, and he suddenly pulls you closer, wincing from the movement but not caring about the pain anymore.
"You did show me... I just didn't want to believe it was real."
He rests his forehead against yours, his voice trembling with emotion.
"I'm such an idiot. I was right here in front of me- all this time.”
“You didn’t want to believe because you thought you wouldn’t deserve it - but Suho you do oh you do.” Your lips curl into a soft smile.
He presses his forehead against yours, his body shaking with the intensity of his feelings.
"Then prove it to me... show me I deserve your love every day."
His hands move to cup your face, his thumbs gently wiping away tears you didn't realize were falling.
"I need you to help me believe in myself again. Help me see what you see in me."
“You’re hurting me with how harsh you are on yourself” you look down.
His hands tremble against your cheeks, guilt flashing across his face.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I'll try to be gentler with myself. For you."
He pulls back slightly to look into your eyes, his expression softening.
"But it won't be easy. These habits... they're deep."
And with that he places his lips softly on you- as if they had always belonged there. Kissing you with such a passion, scared you would disappear if he takes his lips off you.
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