pls break my heart @allthethingsididntsend - Tumblr Blog

"I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Oh, take me back to the night we met"

Always been & gonna be the girl who will listen to all ur stories

No matter what

But i am also judging and telling u when its been a whole shit show

And lately, there have been a lot like that

I feel right, I feel wrong, I feel totally insane

And I want you more than any stupid song could ever say

Do you picture me like I picture you?

Am I in the frame from your point of view?

Do you feel the same? I'm too scared to say

Half of the things I do when I picture you

And what if we meet again

And it isn't like the last time?

We kiss and you don't feel the spark anymore

Or worse it doesn't go that far

What if this is just all in MY head.

My unfulfilled wish

What if I am the only one wishing for a kiss.

and I definitely regret the way we ended but I'll never regret what we had

dating or not

friends or not

blocked or not

hated or not

You have created a space in my heart that's yours alone.

if u ever find urself lost, come and find me

No one could ever fill or replace your space in my heart

that space will always belong to u

What if u found love but it's not mins and she looks perfect by ur side

and I love u, and somehow I will always love u

But maybe I am just in love with a version of u that I have in my head

The version that wrote me the most heartfelt (drunk) texts ever

The version that couldn't let go of me

laying here and u crawl through my head

Wish I could learn how to unlove u

And every new year's eve I yearn for u

And every new year's eve I hope it will be a year where I get to see u

But somehow I am only stuck with the idea of us

Maybe I am only in love with the idea of us?

I wish I would have yearned for u like this years ago

Because now I only get to do it from a distance

In secret only in between thoughts, at night or just when I have the time to write every stupid thought down.

Not even sure if any of this makes sense

And no matter how many years have passed

No one else made me feel like this

You were it

I wanna cry till I'm empty of you

Never realised how big of a masochist I really am

I mean, it pains me to miss u, to text u, to write all of this

To hope for a teeny tiny answer or just a reaction

It's just pain, but I live with it. I enjoy it.

Because that means I still have a teeny tiny part of u in my life.

I enjoy every little interaction with u, even if its just a lot pain

maybe I just love u the longest because I have known u since I was 12

But did u ever knew me?

Can we really call this love?

I know so much about everyone

But does somebody really know me?

Like I know them?

I doubt that

I don't know when or even if I'll see you again (see you again)

I wish no harm outside these arms you'll soon forget (soon forget)

I must refrain from seeing your face

Though I want to (though I want to)

I won't wish you a merry Christmas, but I'll send it anyway

From a distance

Mourning you and everything we could've been (could've been)

The taste of your name used to go down easily (easily)

Then turned into a ghost that I'll just have to grieve

I'll miss you longer than I've known you

So long, my love, we weren't meant to be

I don't know when or even if I'll see you again (see you again)

I wish no harm outside these arms you'll soon forget (soon forget)

I must refrain from seeing your face

Though I want to (though I want to)

I won't wish you a merry Christmas, but I'll send it anyway

From a distance

Maybe I should

Maybe I should delete all the pictures, the chats, the memories that keep reminding me of u

I mean us, that there once was an us

Almost did it a few times, but deleting everything, getting rid of everything feels so final

And my heart still is somewhere in between

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pls break my heart