taste me / drink my soul

Hi. My name is Trianna. This is the result of all that I've overcome in my short life.

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

I hope that I look back at this time in my life and remember it being the most depressed I've ever been. Because I don't think I can handle life getting any sadder than I have been during the last year of my life.

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

I have no right to be heartbroken right now but I am. I'm out of words but have more tears than I can handle.

[treebanana]

Note to self - don’t go off of your antidepressants just because you forgot to take them for a couple of days and felt fine. Apparently side effects include severe self loathing, complete emotional turmoil, general hopelessness, and extreme sadness.

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

gap year

branching out

taking it in

letting myself

be me again

step by step

I’m discovering

learning to fly

finding my wings

on my own

and unprepared

starting to see

that I’m not scared

building myself up

becoming my own home

learning that my life begins

at the end of my comfort zone

[treebanana]

I need some platonic physical contact right now. I just want a friend who will sit on the couch with me and hold my hand while watching a movie or listening to music or talking about nothing. I need a friend who will let me lay my head on their shoulder without any sexual or romantic undertones.

[treebanana]

Is anyone else so extroverted that they get depressed when they’re alone? I feel like I’m constantly trying to get people to go do things or hang out. Or I’ll text someone nonstop when I get lonely. Then if I don’t get a response, I start to worry that I’m annoying them. The whole thing kind of sucks.

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

I am overwhelmed by my job and underwhelmed by my life.

[treebanana]

There are people in this world who are strong enough to carry unbelievable burdens. There are even fewer who are humble enough to set them down when they become too heavy to bear. Taking time to recover is not a weakness and your pride will not keep your burdens from crushing you. If you need help, seek it. If you need a break, take one. The weight will only crush you if you let it.

(via treebanana)

[treebanana]

does anybody else have to force themselves to hold it together even when there’s nothing making them fall apart or is that just me

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

so many memories,

scars from my past

bring tears to my eyes,

give meaning to a laugh.

for darkness grows small

with the smallest of lights -

remember that morning

always follows the night

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

okay so you know when you put dishes in the sink that still have food on them? and there's always that piece of soggy bread that someone didn't throw away that just gets more and more disgusting? okay now imagine someone scooped up thay soggy ass bread from the sink and gently caressed your face with it. that's how it feels when guys STARE AT MY ASS AND LICK THEIR LIPS WHILE I'M PAYING FOR MY FUCKING GROCERIES

[treebanana]

the conversations I have with takeagiantstep

[intersectionalfeminism]

This is not equal representation:

This is equal representation:

[tsunime-deactivated20141231]

SAY IT AGAIN ONE MOE TIME

[obenibo-deactivated20140519]

Thank youuuuuuuuuuu

[treebanana]

don’t forget that there are tons of sub-cultures for white, black, and latin people too. for example, latin is a...

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

All That's Mine

These days i’m not sleeping So much to say but I’m not speaking These words are too much for me to handle Say them aloud and I go out like a candle

I can’t speak them and you can’t hear These truths are private so I hold them near Neither can see but they’re all that’s mine Maybe I can cope, but all in time

[treebanana]

today is my little sister’s birthday. she’s turning six. i’ve missed her last three birthdays because we’re in foster care. i dont know where she is. i miss her so much. i hope she’s happy. i hope that one day she’ll forgive me for letting her be hurt the way she was and know that there isn’t a day that goes by when i dont think about her. i love you Faith.

every day you get older now you’re six years of age i thought of this poem crying in bed in your birthday.

it was my choice to give you up it was my choice to let you go i was just trying to protect you because you know i love you so

you’re still the light of my life you’re on my mind every day you’re preserved in my memories where i can still watch you play

i go back to the days when i held you in my arms i just looked at your sweet face and knew i had to keep you from harm

so i had to give you up just to keep you safe i let you go to a happier place

i sent you far away safe from abuse and lewd acts and every night and day i dream of getting you back

i know that you’re happy i know you’re okay but it wont stop me from missing you each and every day

[treebanana]

sometimes i hide what i'm really thinking.

sometimes i still cross my fingers when i lie.

i always have way too much to say,

but i can hardly ever say what i mean.

i've fallen in love countless times,

but i’ve only ever been in love with two people.

i love to sing, but i’m not very good at it.

love scares me sometimes… most the time.

i want someone to give me flowers someday.

i get hurt too easily, too often.

i care about people who dont care about me.

sometimes i say things that i dont mean.

i will always love being wrapped safely in someone’s arms.

i hate being alone, but i sometimes i need to be by myself.

i try to learn from every mistake.

i say i’m sorry out of habit,

but you’ll know when i really mean it.

sometimes i hide thingsfrom myself.

i’m not yet sure what i’m living for,

so it’s lucky that i have people to help me figure it out.

i’m just trying to find my place in this life.

i know i’m still just a kid,

but i still try too hard to be more.

i’d like to think that i see things differently,

but i know there’s other people who understand.

i’m not that girl who knows exactly what she wants.

i still dont know what to do with my life.

what i do know, is i’ve still got a lot to figure out.

i know this is only a fraction of who i really am.

i dont know who i’ll be in ten years, or even tomorrow.

all i can say is what i really feel,

even if it doesnt come out the right way.

[allthethingsishouldntknow]

i don't remember writing this but okay.

[treebanana]

tears are falling waves are crashing i’m always calling i’m always asking

i’m always wondering what was done i’m always wondering what i said i dont know how this begun but now i’m crying alone in bed

i dont feel i ask for much but i dont get much at all but still i hunger for your touch still i wait for your call