AlmostABoy

MtFtNB, 10 years on E. MtF detrans kink blog, or something.

[almostaboy]

i can't do this shit anymore. browsing this kink isn't hot for me it just makes me sad and anxious. fuck.

[almostaboy]

i just wish i was pretty

[almostaboy]

stab me. hurt me. not in a sexual way. i won't get off to it. i'll ask you to stop. punish me anyway. i'm a bad person for pretending to be a woman. kill me. i know you want to. it's my purpose. i was made to die. make it fast. make it slow. doesn't matter.

[almostaboy]

status of my transition

eh, figured i'd post about it if anyone wants to hear(?) 11 years on E (since my 16th birthday, waow) never been off of it, had an orchie so going off would only uh. sabotage my health. not much in the way of facial hair or male pattern body hair. i guess i present pretty neutrally. i picked an incredibly gender-neutral name when i began my transition on purpose, after all. hate being put in boxes. my voice, face, name... it could all go either way. i think it's better like that. i guess i keep interacting with the detrans kink because it's the scariest thing in the world to me. before my orchie, my mind would constantly conjure nightmare scenarios in which i was cut off from my medications and i would begin to rapidly masculinize. maybe this is some sort of fucked up exposure therapy for me, i don't know. no sincere desire to detrans. no sincere desire to be called a boy, a man, he, or anything like that. not even a sincere desire to see others detrans- i think a lot of people interact with this kink because it's dangerous and it's a bit of a form of self-harm. i guess that's why i'm here, too. to hurt myself by seeing other people hurt themselves. as with most things, i'm just a passive observer.

[almostaboy]

lmao.

[almostaboy]

detrans kink as self actualization? lmao. detrans kink as self-harm. my sexuality exists so that i can hurt myself without leaving physical scars. FUCK

[almostaboy]

aaaand i guess i'm still into this kink. fuck.

[almostaboy]

there's a stranger in the mirror and i wanna tear their throat out

[selenic-echoes]

I think it's kind of fascinating looking theeough all my old posts and everything and realizing I soured on detrans stuff like 3 months ago, and then it came back really strongly like one month ago and I cut my hair short again and then now it's probably more gone than it has been in like a year.

Like I'm back on hrt now, I'm not really taking detrans stuff seriously, I'm managing the reasons why I wanted it in a more healthy way.

I'm back to school in a couple weeks (I dropped out like 3 years ago because of health reasons) and I went to this orientation thing last week, and I put makeup on and dressed up nice and wore a wacky hat that hid my hair well, and I definitely passed.

A few weeks earlier, and I think even just like a few days earlier, I had strongly considered going back to school as a guy. I ended up going to that orientation thing as a girl, and like, I'm so glad I did that. I think I just hadn't gone outside almost at all in months and forgot what being myself around other (normal) people is like, like I'm so obviously not just a girl, but a very feminine and bubbly one and I've been reminded why everyone assumes I'm cis. Like, man, idk why I would ever throw that away.

Unfortunately I simply do not pass as well now unless I put a lot of work in, but I'm like 85% sure that going off hrt for two months (plus taking it inconsistently earlier in the year) didn't really affect anything and the problem is mostly just a bad haircut. I do still pass but it is not as easy.

To all the fakegirls and fakeboys, probably don't detransition in real life. There's a reason you wanted to transition in the first place and you might have lost sight of that for any number of reasons. You can get it back. I know the feeling of being detransitioned is kind of almost an uncomfortable smugness, if that makes any sense, but it's not as good as the feeling of just being real. idk i'm being weird and preachy.

I'm not going to pretend I won't come back to this kink, I am almost certainly gender fluid, but I'm a girl that likes to pretend to be a boy sometimes, not the other way around.

[almostaboy]

realtalk, the detrans kink stuff has kind of lost its shock value at this point. i don't really find it exciting anymore. will probably stick around for a bit longer but. eh.

[fakehuman-fakegirl]

I think the hottest part of being off HRT for me is the way it literally simplifies my sexuality back into a man’s whether I want it or not

It’s more than just being more physically attracted to girls—it’s that the core of what my sexuality is shifts from complex and nuanced power dynamics and elaborate fantasies back to wanting to physically fuck hot girls

It feels like getting the world’s horniest lobotomy 😵‍💫

[almostaboy]

into detrans less as a kink thing and more as a vaguely-erotic horror thing, losing all bodily autonomy, becoming a stranger to yourself, unable to even hold onto your identity, ok it's a bit of a kink thing but idk something about medical detrans is so viscerally upsetting that i find myself obsessing over it. i always feel worse after too. it's like looking at gore, i guess.

[almostaboy]

beat me over the head with a lead pipe and call me a bad dog tbh

[almostaboy]

this kink is awful for me. i'm glad i got fixed like a good dog so i can't remasculinize because i'm too busy pawing off to take my meds. lmao. genuinely too stupid to be trans.

[selenic-echoes]

Honestly not taking hrt and having the testosterone flood back into my body feels gross. I feel gross. I smell different, everything feels different, I feel sweaty and I keep getting random erections…

I feel like my thought processes are a little different too, i dunno. I have to stay off of it for a few months so I guess I’ll get used to it.

[almostaboy]

started going by they/them among some close friends. it... feels a lot more right than he/him or she/her ever did. i think i might just be nonbinary. thanks, detrans kink tumblr?

[lunaisconfused-deactivated20250]

Fun ask game for MTFs!

So, how big is it?

Circumcised or uncircumcised?

How musky?

What's the name you give for your dick?

Are the veins of your dick visible when it's soft?

Can you jerk off with two hands?

How full are your balls right now?

How many times do you jerk off in a day?

Have you ever cum during sleep?

What was one wet dream you still remember?

Did someone ever accidentally touched your dick? How that make you feel?

Have you ever used your ass for sexual pleasure? At all?

At what size does your dick stop fitting into your panties?

Briefs or boxers?

What kind of boy did the girls in your school perceive you as?

Do you automatically plan to pay for everything in a date?

What was the last girl you rated on how fuckable she was?

Just how obsessed with pussy are you?

Have a real woman ever called you a creep?

Your crush just told you they are not attracted to woman but love femboys. What do you do?

Can you speak without swearing?

When do you plan to hit the gym?

Have you joined the army?

Do you piss standing?

How loud can you burp?

Blue or green?

If you like boys, have you thought in buying a gay flag?

If you like girls, don't you think being more manly will attract more woman to you?

What fantasy do you visit often?

Have you ever realized you are a confused boy? If so, what made you realize?

[almostaboy]

hop in my asks and harass me! ye a h !