Welcome To Gay Town

I write mostly smut if I can be motivated to write. This is a multi fandom blog now. Feel free to ask me anything.

[almostshadydelusion]

I wish I could draw so I could draw my Tavs.

I have so many cool concepts.

[almostshadydelusion]

Every character in Baldur’s Gate 3 is deeply traumatised, every reaction that have matched their story and I truly believe their writing as characters is so good.

[almostshadydelusion]

It’s 2023 why the fuck are people still gender bending one member of a mlm ship to make it straight wtf, just write an oc or choose a different ship.

[almostshadydelusion]

It's criminal that they cancelled Rise of the Pink Ladies during Pride Month, it's homophobic Paramount.

[almostshadydelusion]

Hello void, I am still alive. Not thriving but alive. My friend is joining us soon, she'll be subjected to my tumblr thoughts now

[almostshadydelusion]

I don't think Will would be a vigilante killer in the sense that he wants justice but I do think that Will knows that he likes killing and rationalise it with killing bad people. I don't think he'd limit himself to serial killers but to anyone who crosses his morals. He restricts himself to killing bad people only, not because he has to but because he wants to.

If Will were a serial killer before meeting Hannibal, I think he would kill animal abusers, people who commit assault crimes that aren't murderers, and murderers. After Hannibal, Will's morals aren't held as tight. He still won't kill children, and he's iffy on killing teenagers, but I also think he'd kill to protect his and Hannibal's lives on the run. More likely to kill some random or someone with Hannibal's mindset towards the rude. But I also like the idea that he sticks to killing people that make him angry and they happen to be people that do bad things.

[almostshadydelusion]

They got married on the fucking piano 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[almostshadydelusion]

The last of us episode 3 made me realise I want to get geriatric with someone. I want to grow old and I want the fantasy of dying in their arms. I want to drift to sleep knowing I am old and loved. I want to be satisfied, and I want to find my purpose.

[almostshadydelusion]

I think the part that got me the most in tlou ep 3 was that even though there was already drugs in the wine, he poured more into Frank's. Frank wanted to die first in his husband's arms, and Bill loved him the way Frank wanted to, so he did it. He ensured that Frank would never see Bill's dead body but they still get to fall asleep in each other's arms.

[tethered-heartstrings]

the last time will was touched by hannibal before hannibal went to prison was when hannibal carried will’s unconscious body home in the snow and changed his clothes, tended his wounds, and tucked him into bed. but the last time hannibal touched him where will was lucid and could most likely remember the contact was after will was shot. hannibal also carried him to safety and tended to his wounds. he leaned into hannibal’s chest and hannibal held the back of his head like he did in mizumono, the other last time hannibal held him.

and then hannibal went to prison for three years and of course they had no physical contact, they didn’t even exchange words. but even at the cliff house, we don’t see them touch. not until the dragon is dead and hannibal helps will to his feet, where will then lays his head on hannibal’s chest again and then pulls them off the cliff so they can be in each others arms for eternity and can spend every last second feeling and not just remembering the other’s touch. their embrace being the last and final memory.

[tethered-heartstrings]

I AM NOT WELL

[almostshadydelusion]

Will is also the one who initiates contact in that scene. He’s the one to reach his hand out to Hannibal. He’s the one that chooses to have Hannibal’s touch. Will reaches out and then they both stabilise each other in the embrace.

Will pulls them over the edge but at least they’re holding each other on the way down. Hannibal doesn’t protest, he lets it happen. Even turns himself to take the impact. If Hannibal was going to die during the impact, he would die first. He would never have to live in a world without Will, knowing that Will chose him. That Will called what they’ve done beautiful. Not a moment more without each other.

[mifeeey]

Does anyone else really miss Voltron sometimes but it's not really Voltron itself that you miss bc god knows that was a dumpster fire and a half in retrospect now that you are older than the middleschooler you were when the show irreversably altered your brain chemistry but like the feelings you felt when it was 2017 and you were reading some generic klance fic on ao3 at 3 am on a school night and season 5 just aired and it was so fun to binge it all in one sitting and your favorite fanartist drew really cute paladin fanart in lion onesies and you just preordered the paladin handbook and you said quiznak unironically or am i just getting old and depressed

[almostshadydelusion]

Voltron was the first time I was genuinely drawn into fandom culture. I was mostly on the not dumpster fire side so I have more fond memories than most. I miss it. I miss reading my introduction to fanfiction and ships. I knew they were there but I didn’t really interact with them. I miss Voltron.

[almostshadydelusion]

I think the misunderstanding of Edward Nygma from Gotham’s character makes me want to scream. The infantilisation of his character makes me want to scream. I’m tired of reducing his character to tragedy like he didn’t put himself in some of those situations.

[almostshadydelusion]

If Hannibal ever watched Scary Movie, especially the first or second one, he would combust on the spot.

[almostshadydelusion]

I rewatched the ending scene with Bedelia and I have to say that apart from the fact that she looks fearful, she also looked drugged. I don't know if that was just me but her eyes looked a bit hazy? Maybe it was just fear but Hannibal was probably doping her. Maybe it was even Will's idea. Who knows?

[almostshadydelusion]

I think it's interesting that the lyrics heard during the s3 Hannibal finale after 'I will survive, live, and thrive', are 'win this deadly game'.

It could apply to Hannibal. It could apply to Will. But I think the lyrics suit them both. Hannibal won in getting Will to accept his becomming and Will won in the sense that he both accepted his identity, slayed the dragon, and pulled Hannibal off the cliff in what was possibly an attempt to end them both. Any other thoughts?

[almostshadydelusion]

Sometimes I forget people don’t think my sexuality is valid. Not even just people that hate lgbtq+ people. People within that very same community. And it hurts.

People who have had their own sexuality, their own identity invalidated turning around and telling others that ours isn’t valid. The hate is disgusting. God we get so much hate from outside the community but it hurts worse from inside. Sometimes I think I’m so happy to have found my identity. To be confident in my identity. And then I see that and it hurts. This is vent post. I find it happens on Tiktok the most.

The comment section is rancid at times. And completely unmoderated. I understand it’s unreasonable to for the op to monitor every comment and reply. But I’d like some support from op. If they see it happening, deleting comments invalidating someone’s sexuality would help even just a little. It won’t stop them but it will stop some people seeing it. I’m pansexual by the way.

It hurts when people say I’m bisexual or something else entirely. And I see it too often on Tiktok. It invalidates my identity, my sexuality, my entire journey of hating myself. I tried for so long to fit into bisexual and deny the fact that it never fit me. It spent years for my to acknowledge that I was not bisexual. No matter how hard I tried to force myself to be. I am pansexual and I will block anyone that says otherwise.

Sometimes I just say I’m queer cause I’m tired of explaining my identity. For a while I tried to only use queer but I’ll always have that connection to pansexual. The label helped me to find me.

[almostshadydelusion]

Call me insane for this I don’t care.

Hannibal is the golden retriever partner and Will is the black cat.

It’s controversial. But I truly believe that. I could go into more detail but I fear this take is already seen as too crazy.