Derek Hale

25. Werewolf. Nothing else you really need to know.

[alphadhale]

Hello?

Is this RP still around?

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

“I haven’t exactly had the privilege to move on.” Her eyes met his gaze. Derek probably had someone already. “Not to mention thinking on you was the only way that I stood sane. In a way you saved me while they did everything to me. . You’re my first love, after all. “ She hugged herself. “I’ll always love you no matter what. .” She trailed off , biting her lesser lips. “–I’m sorry I kissed you. . Won’t happen again.”  She looked away as she spoke. 

Derek stared at her for a long moment, letting a small silence happen between them. He then took a step forward to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a hug that was tighter than the first. "I'll always love you too, Paige. You taught me so much when I was younger. I still don't think that I deserve your forgiveness, but I want to make it up to you." He pulled back a little. "Don't apologize for acting out your feelings," he whispered. "I didn't mind."

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

Allison’s face softened farther hearing his confession, her heart aching for him just thinking of how he must feel. “Derek…from what I know of love it triumphs over every difference, every adversity. What happened was horrible, but it was not your fault. You were influenced by Peter, you wanted to keep her, I know what it’s like to fear losing someone like that, you’d do anything to keep them in your life. If you had known she would not survive the bite you would have never done it. And what you did for her, taking away her pain not many people would have the strength to do such a thing. No where in this do I see your fault. Nor with what happened to your family. That was Kate, I know better than anyone what it’s like to be manipulated by her. None of it is your fault and I think it’s time you ease yourself of that burden.” She said taking his hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. She wondered if anyone had told him this. That it wasn’t his fault. She hoped he heard her.

Derek was surprised by the sudden feeling of her hand in his, the touch being more comforting than he would like to admit. "I still did it. I let him convince me. Your aunt convinced me that she had good intentions as well and I fell for that too." He bit his lower lip, eyebrows furrowed deeply. "I was naïve. I still am at times and I won't be able to forgive myself for letting people take advantage of me."

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

“I was in love with you too. . I love you no matter what you are. I didn’t care. I knew you were different.” Paige replied as she stopped her body from taking another step. He was so close yet so far away. “–I don’t.” She told him firmly before pausing for a moment. “I asked you to kill me. It was hurting too much. .You only did what I said and at the time dying in the arms of the guy you love the most didn’t seem like a bad way to go…  I’m mad about the bite and you not coming to talk to me but I don’t blame you. . It’s not your fault…You never lost me, Derek…” She stood still unsure what to do other than wanting to keep punching him and mostly kiss him. “Even in death… “ She trailed off as she thought about her days locked up. 

Derek hung his head. He should have known better when it came to Paige. She had never passed judgment on him before and yet he had felt that she wouldn't accept him for being different. He stood silent, processing her words over and over in his head. "You still love me?" He asked softly, green eyes flickering up to meet her gaze. "After everything that happened between us and what they did to you, you still feel the same?"

[blossomfully]

You can surround yourself with people who love you and still feel alone,“ he said. “You can laugh with a hundred friends but still cry when you get home.” “The problem with most of us,“ he said, “is not the lack of love. It’s the inability to understand why anyone in their right mind would want to love us.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #269 (via blossomfully)

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

Allison frowned, struck by how wrong those words sounded. For everything that he was she found it difficult to believe such a thing, for all his faults she’d also seen his loyalty to those he didn’t necessarily owe anything too. You lay down your life for the ones you love, not take anything away from them. “What happened…with her?”

Derek frowned deeply, his eyes still on his fingers. It was hard for him to talk about. He hated admitting what he had done. “I was in love with her. She was everything to me,” he whispered softly, “but she could never love me because of what I am. Peter convinced me of that. I asked an Alpha to bite her just so I would be able to be with her forever...and she didn’t take to the change. Her body rejected it. She was in so much pain. I took as much as I could, but it wasn’t enough. I had to kill her to put her out of her misery.”

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

Allison wasn’t entirely pleased with his response, the half truths and vague answers were frustrating to say to the least. Though it wasn’t difficult to distinguish when he said horrible he meant it, the pain flashed across his face for the briefest of moments. And she’d seen him struggling for so long. The anger and irate behavior wasn’t all there was to the man, surely. So there was a reason behind it. Her Aunt came to mind at the mention of mistakes. Kate had been heartless, and there were times she wondered if she’d been successful in making Allison just like herself. “So horrible that you haven’t been able to forgive yourself after all this time?” She asked softly in hopes of conveying that she would listen to him, that he could confide in her.

Derek nodded his head, his green eyes dropping to his hands. “I killed the woman I loved,” he whispered softy, “and I led a huntress to where my family lived and let her kill them, too. I have horrible skeletons in my closet, Allison. I could have saved all of them. Instead, I let them die. It was my fault.” He knew it was. Paige would still be alive if he had just trusted her enough and he had made the mistake of trusting an Argent too much. “All my fault.”

[formerlyshewolves]

[bythebcw-blog]

You have your mistakes, and I have mine.

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

Paige tensed for a moment before she wrapped her arms him. Taking in his scent before her impulse came to a surface. “Am I ok? No. “ She pushed him. “But I will be. What they did to me?” She growled. “What do you think? They opened me up, killed me over and over again, what do you think scientist do to things they experiment  on. I have died more times than I can count.” With every word she spoke she hit him, harder than the last. Her emotions all coming to a rush. “You couldn’t talk to me. You just had to get him to bite me. You had to listen to peter.” She was smart enough to know and out of impulse she kissed him. 

“–Despite your efforts to stop him and save me, you were too late… I don’t hate you and I don’t blame you. . “ She breathed out and stepped back as she got lost for a moment on what she did. “–I should go.” 

Derek honestly wasn’t surprised by her response. He deserved every single blow that she gave ti him. He killed her. It was him. Not Peter and the wolf honestly would never forgive himself for it. “I was in love with you, Paige. I didn’t know what to do. I was told that you would never love someone like me because of what I was.” He spoke calmly, letting her take out all her emotions on him. The sudden feeling of her lips surprised him though, his eyes shutting on instinct. “You should hate and blame me,” he whispered against her mouth as she pulled back. “Please, don’t go. I..I don’t want to lose you again.”

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

In part she wanted to know just how long this feeling would stay with her, sometimes she simply wondered if she would ever stop feeling this horrible, and conflicted. A part of her as also ready to hear him, he’d told her more than once that they weren’t all that different and she herself had seen the darkness that plagued him long before any of this. “What happened?” She asked carefully. He knew all her demons, it was time he unburdened himself from some of his.

Derek bit his lip, trying to keep his emotions in check. The thought of Paige always pained him. He was never good talking about her out loud. “Something horrible,” he said simply, knowing she could feel what he meant from her newly gained powers. “I’ve never been a good guy, Allison. I had a lot of learning to do when I was young and I made a lot of mistakes.”

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

   Paige froze in her place as she listened to him, after a moment standing up to face him. Looking him in the eyes and she saw it. He really was Derek. Her first love. “Derek?” She paused for a moments wanting to step forward but couldn’t bring herself to do so. “–I’m the same Paige. . But a lot has changed.” She couldn’t control her body as it stepped forward. “I was brought back by the dread doctors… I was their lab rat. Experiment. . “ 

He stood still, just watching her for a very long moment before he moved towards her, wrapping her in a tight hug. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, his body slightly shaking. He couldn’t believe she was alive and his heart was pounding out of control. “What did they do to you?”

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

Allison didn’t flinch away at his touch, the warmth radiating from his palm was soothing even if for a moment before her despair shrouded her once more. She didn’t know whether to take his words to heart on not. The way she saw it if she no longer felt the guilt and remorse wouldn’t that make her the same as an actual killer. “Have you?” She finally asked looking up at him. “Forgiven yourself?”

Derek wasn’t expecting her to turn this around on him, a small frown forming on his lips. “I can’t say I have completely,” he admitted softly, taking a seat next to her. “I have a lot of demons that I battle each night and I’m sure you know that.” He often had nightmares that he was positive she had heard him wake from. “Sometimes it can take a very long time.”

[alphadhale]

xmclinax:

  “–My condolences. Though I do hope it gets better for you.” She shrugged. “She wasn’t that heartless not to care. 

Derek wasn't used to that and he shook his head. "Thanks," he said gruffly.

[alphadhale]

bythebcw:

“Yet you do anyway,” She responded with a sigh, if he trying to make amends if that was all it was working. And though she fought with him she’d stayed with him as well, they fought then once they both had cooled down they pretended like nothing had happened, until the next time. They tore into each other so much she wondering if they would one day simply tear each other apart. She didn’t say anything for a long while, just continued to stare at the tombstone, rereading the engravings on it. “I walked away from you.” She finally said, the guilt finally having caught up with her. 

“You saved my life, and whether it was the right thing for me or not you did. Having become what I had I should’ve never done that. I thought I could handle it, that I could take care of myself, it’s all I’d told myself for the last two years. But I couldn’t handle it. And I hurt those people…And I can never take it back.” She could blame him from turning her into the monster that had done it but had she let him help her before it happened, she would’ve been better off. The person she was angriest at was herself.

Derek moved towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was to show her comfort and support. "We all make mistakes, Allison. You aren't the only werewolf to ever kill someone." He said softly, giving her muscle a small squeeze. "Trust me when I tell you that. You can't keep blaming yourself. You have to forgive your past at some point."

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

“So you’re a hale. . “ She looked at him. This cant be derek. What are the chances? Maybe a cousin or something. She remembered going to the hale house. Derek had a couple family members around. “One of meaning you’re not the only one. . Is Derek ok?” She dared to wonder. “–I did die.” She nodded. “That much is very true. “ She replied as she got closer to the stump wondering if the cellar was still there. “When derek snapped my neck, I fell into the nothingness of darkness. . The silence of nothing that lasts forever and it did for a moment. . There  is no up or down, no walls or sides or ceilings, just the sensation of cold and darkness everywhere. Then I was brought back. . A month after I died…“ She touched the tree stump. “I can hear your heart beat. . I dont see a reason to lie whoever you are or anyone for that matter.” 

Derek felt his heart drop and he honestly thought he was going to physically do the same thing as she continued on. "I'm one of three," he said with a furrow of his brows. "My family was burned alive in a horrific fire. My youngest sister and uncle are the only other two remaining Hales." He had explained the story so many times that it almost sounded nonchalant now. "How..how were you brought back? You can't be the same Paige that Derek killed. I would know as I am him and I remember that night very, very clearly.

[alphadhale]

xpaigc:

  Looking at him fully, there was something about him she couldn’t shake off. His eyes are what made her more sure on the fact that maybe she knew him when she was human. Then agian she rarely talk to anyone in high school due to her activities and always studying. She had friends and she had Derek–But that’s impossible. He couldn’t be him.  “–Let’s just say I’m going down memory lane. The good and the bad and the moments that counted.” She replied honestly. Since this was private property, she figured he did at least had the right to know her name. “Isn’t this part of the Hale property?” She questioned. “Name’s Paige.” 

Derek kept quiet though his eyebrows furrowed together tightly at her words. How would she have any memories here? She was a stranger and he knew the only other person that was attached to this spot was dead. “Yes, it’s Hale property and I am one of the last surviving Hales,” he said simply. Not that she had any right to know, but he wasn’t going to lie to her either. Her name made his throat close up, his heart beating faster. “Paige died a long time ago. If this is some kind of joke, it’s not funny.”

[bythebcw-blog]

It was beyond morbid, sitting at her own grave in the middle of the night. Her face was wet with tears, torn and mangled petals of the flowers she’d found there littered about her. When she’d gotten there it was almost startling to her how it looked so untouched, as if she hadn’t been pulled out from the earth beneath her, where there remained an empty casket. The gust of wind that whipped her hair into her face, for it to cling to her tear stained cheek also alerted her of his presence the scent she knew so distinctly at this point. She released her grip on her knee to wipe at her face before looking up at him. “You don’t have to keep doing this.” She muttered, before letting her gaze wander back to the tombstone before her. Whenever she was hurting, whenever she found herself to be this alone he seemed to always be there, and it made it all the harder to hate him.

@alphadhale

[alphadhale]

Derek knew something was up, he could sense it in the connection the bite gave them. It was why he was always there when she felt most alone and sad. The wolf felt it like he was experiencing the emotion himself. He found her at her own grave, knowing that she was processing what had happened to her. “I know I don’t have to do anything,” he said simply, his green eyes the softest they ever had been. He only showed that side of himself to her, the side that was willing to listen and comfort if she wanted it from him. “Do you want to talk about this?” He asked softly, head tilting to the side as he kept his distance from her for now.