Allison Argent

[bythebcw-blog]

Derek frowned deeply, his eyes still on his fingers. It was hard for him to talk about. He hated admitting what he had done. “I was in love with her. She was everything to me,” he whispered softly, “but she could never love me because of what I am. Peter convinced me of that. I asked an Alpha to bite her just so I would be able to be with her forever…and she didn’t take to the change. Her body rejected it. She was in so much pain. I took as much as I could, but it wasn’t enough. I had to kill her to put her out of her misery.”

Allison’s face softened farther hearing his confession, her heart aching for him just thinking of how he must feel. “Derek…from what I know of love it triumphs over every difference, every adversity. What happened was horrible, but it was not your fault. You were influenced by Peter, you wanted to keep her, I know what it’s like to fear losing someone like that, you’d do anything to keep them in your life. If you had known she would not survive the bite you would have never done it. And what you did for her, taking away her pain not many people would have the strength to do such a thing. No where in this do I see your fault. Nor with what happened to your family. That was Kate, I know better than anyone what it’s like to be manipulated by her. None of it is your fault and I think it’s time you ease yourself of that burden.” She said taking his hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. She wondered if anyone had told him this. That it wasn’t his fault. She hoped he heard her.

[bythebcw-blog]

Derek nodded his head, his green eyes dropping to his hands. “I killed the woman I loved,” he whispered softy, “and I led a huntress to where my family lived and let her kill them, too. I have horrible skeletons in my closet, Allison. I could have saved all of them. Instead, I let them die. It was my fault.” He knew it was. Paige would still be alive if he had just trusted her enough and he had made the mistake of trusting an Argent too much. “All my fault.”

Allison frowned, struck by how wrong those words sounded. For everything that he was she found it difficult to believe such a thing, for all his faults she’d also seen his loyalty to those he didn’t necessarily owe anything too. You lay down your life for the ones you love, not take anything away from them. “What happened…with her?”

[bythebcw-blog]

Derek bit his lip, trying to keep his emotions in check. The thought of Paige always pained him. He was never good talking about her out loud. “Something horrible,” he said simply, knowing she could feel what he meant from her newly gained powers. “I’ve never been a good guy, Allison. I had a lot of learning to do when I was young and I made a lot of mistakes.”

Allison wasn’t entirely pleased with his response, the half truths and vague answers were frustrating to say to the least. Though it wasn’t difficult to distinguish when he said horrible he meant it, the pain flashed across his face for the briefest of moments. And she’d seen him struggling for so long. The anger and irate behavior wasn’t all there was to the man, surely. So there was a reason behind it. Her Aunt came to mind at the mention of mistakes. Kate had been heartless, and there were times she wondered if she’d been successful in making Allison just like herself. “So horrible that you haven’t been able to forgive yourself after all this time?” She asked softly in hopes of conveying that she would listen to him, that he could confide in her.

[formerlyshewolves]

[bythebcw-blog]

You have your mistakes, and I have mine.

[bythebcw-blog]

alphadhale:

Derek wasn’t expecting her to turn this around on him, a small frown forming on his lips. “I can’t say I have completely,” he admitted softly, taking a seat next to her. “I have a lot of demons that I battle each night and I’m sure you know that.” He often had nightmares that he was positive she had heard him wake from. “Sometimes it can take a very long time.”

In part she wanted to know just how long this feeling would stay with her, sometimes she simply wondered if she would ever stop feeling this horrible, and conflicted. A part of her as also ready to hear him, he’d told her more than once that they weren’t all that different and she herself had seen the darkness that plagued him long before any of this. “What happened?” She asked carefully. He knew all her demons, it was time he unburdened himself from some of his.

[bythebcw-blog]

someonesmccallingme:

[ ALLISON ]

❛ allison,❜ her name was spoken with a heavy heart, ❛ i don’t know- how can i- how can i make this E A S I E R .❜ the question was desperate and sincere, knowing how much the guilt of doing something uncharacteristically you could ruin everything you’ve tried to be. he refused to let himself harshly judge situations that even he knew was out of any ones control. his mistake with stiles had proved that. ❛ you weren’t anchored or taught control, it’s not your fault.❜

“It’s not supposed to get easier, at least I don’t think it is. If you take the life of another person, someone completely innocent and unsuspecting it makes sense that you have to suffer for it, right?” She asked her voice breaking, she swallowed, taking a moment so she could go on. “Both of those things are my fault, so subsequently I am to blame for what I did. I killed someone Scott I don’t think you can make that go away.”

[bythebcw-blog]

xpaigc:

Paige  sat on top of the desk as she looked around the class room as she waited for her sister to finish up some after school activities. She felt like a child waiting for her mother which pissed her off a bit but she also knew she had a lot to do before she can do what she wanted to do. 

Allison looked down at the paper in dismay. After months of being on her own, and fending for herself like an adult it felt so odd to be back in school. Having to have all her teachers sign a paper piece of paper signifying her academic plan to make up for the time she’d missed. She had half a mind to simply drop out and get a GED. With a sigh she entered Ms. Grundy’s classroom seeing as she was the last on her list of teachers. She frowned at the girl that sat on her desk in place of the teacher. “...This is Ms. Grundy’s classroom right?” She asked to confirm, a change of classrooms at the start of the school year was probable enough.

[bythebcw-blog]

alphadhale:

Derek moved towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was to show her comfort and support. “We all make mistakes, Allison. You aren’t the only werewolf to ever kill someone.” He said softly, giving her muscle a small squeeze. “Trust me when I tell you that. You can’t keep blaming yourself. You have to forgive your past at some point.”

Allison didn’t flinch away at his touch, the warmth radiating from his palm was soothing even if for a moment before her despair shrouded her once more. She didn’t know whether to take his words to heart on not. The way she saw it if she no longer felt the guilt and remorse wouldn’t that make her the same as an actual killer. “Have you?” She finally asked looking up at him. “Forgiven yourself?”

[mostlyfate]

[bythebcw-blog]

gifset aesthetic = allison argent and lydia martin ♡ allison, i love you. so if you need to do that thing where we talk about me and pretend like we’re not actually talking about you… it’s totally fine.

[lawerncs-deactivated20181023]

[teen-wolf-archive]

[bythebcw-blog]

alphadhale:

Derek knew something was up, he could sense it in the connection the bite gave them. It was why he was always there when she felt most alone and sad. The wolf felt it like he was experiencing the emotion himself. He found her at her own grave, knowing that she was processing what had happened to her. “I know I don’t have to do anything,” he said simply, his green eyes the softest they ever had been. He only showed that side of himself to her, the side that was willing to listen and comfort if she wanted it from him. “Do you want to talk about this?” He asked softly, head tilting to the side as he kept his distance from her for now.

“Yet you do anyway,” She responded with a sigh, if he trying to make amends if that was all it was working. And though she fought with him she’d stayed with him as well, they fought then once they both had cooled down they pretended like nothing had happened, until the next time. They tore into each other so much she wondering if they would one day simply tear each other apart. She didn’t say anything for a long while, just continued to stare at the tombstone, rereading the engravings on it. “I walked away from you.” She finally said, the guilt finally having caught up with her. 

“You saved my life, and whether it was the right thing for me or not you did. Having become what I had I should’ve never done that. I thought I could handle it, that I could take care of myself, it’s all I’d told myself for the last two years. But I couldn’t handle it. And I hurt those people...And I can never take it back.” She could blame him from turning her into the monster that had done it but had she let him help her before it happened, she would’ve been better off. The person she was angriest at was herself.

[bythebcw-blog]

jawbonejones:

Jawbone chuckled a bit as he met her gaze. “I may not be an expect on the subject, but you certainly don’t look thrilled,” he teased mostly, trying to feel her out some. She seemed isolated, and he could definitely use a few loners to get tips from about how this school was going to work.

Allison scoffed, shaking her head. “Thanks for letting me know, I’ll have to work on it.” Though she was glad to be conversing with someone who hadn’t known her before. She’d ha to explain herself far too many times already, and though it was expected didn’t mean she enjoyed it. “How’re you faring?”

[bythebcw-blog]

cxcalibur:

    “okay-” she almost laughs, it’s so utterly RIDICULOUS. this was screwed up ( even for her mind ) seeing her dead best friend. what, did allison have some sort of ghostly message to impart from the beyond ?? swallowing thickly, the redhead lets out a weary sigh. seeing allison was like feeling the PAIN of losing her all over again. this needed to be over with quickly. “what are you doing here ??” lydia asks softly, opting to see where this would lead them. 

Allison opened her mouth thought was left agape a moment not knowing how to answer that question, or respond to her reaction for that matter. Lydia really believed that she was a fragment of her imagination. “I-I didn’t die. Derek turned me...”

[bythebcw-blog]

It was beyond morbid, sitting at her own grave in the middle of the night. Her face was wet with tears, torn and mangled petals of the flowers she’d found there littered about her. When she’d gotten there it was almost startling to her how it looked so untouched, as if she hadn’t been pulled out from the earth beneath her, where there remained an empty casket. The gust of wind that whipped her hair into her face, for it to cling to her tear stained cheek also alerted her of his presence the scent she knew so distinctly at this point. She released her grip on her knee to wipe at her face before looking up at him. "You don’t have to keep doing this.” She muttered, before letting her gaze wander back to the tombstone before her. Whenever she was hurting, whenever she found herself to be this alone he seemed to always be there, and it made it all the harder to hate him.

@alphadhale

[bythebcw-blog]

alphadhale:

“Use your senses, Allison,” he said before he turned away again. “I don’t really want to talk about this anymore.”

Allison rolled her eyes, he wasn’t exactly Yoda that was for sure. She had no idea what her senses had to do with anything. Though she was done, she could only butt heads with him for so long in a single day. “I’m gonna go face the music.” She said with a sigh already feeling drained just by the thought of talking to her father.

[bythebcw-blog]

alphadhale:

The wolf huffed. “Because you already know the answers to your questions if you think hard enough.”

“I didn’t know my claws came with the ability to mind read. How in the world am I supposed to know what goes on inside your head?”