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@alteredman
Strike | Lori & Benton
”Actually, I didn’t.” She said, turning herself to face him. His attack on the bench caused her no surprise. “I only had speculations… you just confirmed them for me. Thanks.” She rose slowly. Her arms were crossed against her chest as she paced a few feet away from Benton. Her thoughts were slow, articulated, just as the always had been she was relapsing. He hadn’t been completely truthful about who he was. Neither was she. Perhaps this was a good time to declare she had a boyfriend. But she was afraid Benton wasn’t the ‘dick on the side’ kind of guy. She pursed her lips before, turning sharply in his direction. The space between them closed as she crouched down in front of him.
"I’ve fucked girls before. I’ve never been emotionally attracted to one." But as far as I’m concerned, you say you’re a guy. So fine, you’re a guy. And I believe you." She got back up to her feet before he could say anything. She leveraged over what was going to happen next. Whether she wanted him in a relationship or another booty call. Or if she wanted to go down that path again. Or why she started this in the first place.
She turned back to him, and just like that night in his truck, he remembered. Because he was so alluring and she’d feel belittled if she didn’t get him at least once. A form of twisted self-worth that Lori had become accustomed to since age 13. “I know I killed the mood.” She said, strolling back towards him. “And I’m not sorry. Better we talk about it now before things get too steamy.” Her fingers intertwined with his as she delicately placed herself on his lap, meeting his lips with an intense kiss.
He smiled once she said she was cool with him being trans. It gave him a sense of relief and helped him relax and revert back to his usual self. He shook his head once she said she killed the mood; in fact, she made him want her more. Her being OK with the idea of being involved with a trans man (romantically or sexually) made him feel much more comfortable. Now, he didn't have to tell a fib or hide anything. Everything was pretty much out in the open, right?
He kissed her back with a very intense and passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist. His fingers trailed up her side, going up to her shoulders before stopping at her neck, stroking the skin there softly. He could feel his desire for her elevating; a feeling that he didn't think would occur so soon. He deepened the kiss, parting his lips, letting his tongue make its way into her mouth, searching for her own. His hands pushed her body adjacent to his, an innuendo to let her know that he wanted her, right then and there.
His hips moved against her hips seductively as his hands moved up, only to grab fistfuls of hair before he eventually pulled away, catching his breath. He grinned devilishly before arching his a brow, "Before we take this any further, is there anything you want to tell me? I don't want there to be any surprises, like say, if you've got a boyfriend. . .or if you just want me to your side guy?"
He was certain she was hiding something, the way she moved away from him when he disclosed his gender dysphoria and how her phone kept vibrating in the truck earlier. He didn't mind that she had a boyfriend. . .she was gorgeous and who wouldn't want her? However, hooking up with taken girls weren't his forte. But, for Lori, maybe he'd have to compromise.
Strike | Lori & Benton
"Okay," She said, brushing her thumb over their interlocked hands. His mind still seemed to be swirling - something was definitely bothering him. No one said ‘It’s nothing’ and then sigh without something bugging them. She made it her new goal to find out what. Shifting to the side, Lori rested her head on his shoulder. "If you ever want to talk in the future, you can tell me." She said quietly. "I am going to be a psychologist, after all. “
Her senses hitched the moment Benton inquired about her motives. That was the second time he’d come close to finding her out. No harm, though. There’s nothing a little lie can’t fix. She let go of his hands and smiled at him. “The way minds work is extremely fascinating.” She said, imitating his voice. “That was a joke. In high school, I was really good at interpreting behavior and signals. It was like second nature. I instantly knew what people met, their secrets slipped through their body language for me. Even if they were hiding something - the brain and it’s secrets are very susceptible to a keen eye.” She said the last sentence with a knowing tone, glancing down briefly to Benton’s chest.
"So! I took up AP Psyche in my last my two years of high school, got straight A’s every quarter. I got outstanding scores on the final tests and next thing I knew, Berkeley was knocking on my front door." She took pride in the fact that she was smart. Not genius smart, history and mathematics was another story for Lori, but give her theory and language and she’d blow you away.
He laughed and nodded, "That's right, you are definitely going to be a psychologist one day." He listened to what she said and wondered if she'd ever exploited her abilities to her own advantage. Running a finger over his chin, he thought, I guess I should keep my eyes open for whatever motives she may or may not have. No matter how he wanted to think that Lori was not even the slightest bit of a canny person, he never knew what she was capable of. He felt afraid and clutched, wondering if he was just overreacting.
His muscles became tense and strained, once her eyes del on his chest. Did she know? He shifted in his position, suddenly becoming distressed. He gnashed his teeth, as his mouth quivered and drooled, slurring words that were intelligible. He jammed his hands onto the bench, using all of his might. "You knew? And you didn't tell me? I mean. . .how? You're cool with it right?" Too many questions arose in his head all at once. The one question he couldn't muster up an answer to was: How did she know? He thought he'd passed fairly well unless he did something that gave it away.
He shook his head and tittered awkwardly, "So. . .straight A's, huh? Awesome." His mind was still focused on how she knew and he couldn't function well.
Strike | Lori & Benton
"Of course I am, Benton." Her expression turned serious as she fixed her hair. "I’m okay with that. We don’t have to rush things. Whenever you’re ready to be intimate alright?" She was being completely honest. Whether or not she was as committed in a possible relationship with Benton wasn’t exactly on her mind.
She noticed he was becoming.. distant. Something was on his mind. Lori panicked. What if he knew about Caradoc? Should she leave now? The sound of her name startled her. Fuck, he knew and he was going to let her have it. She was just about to jet when she realized he was asking about the bet. “The bet? I mean, we’re just hanging out right? I don’t really care who wins as long as I’m with you.” She laughed.
She pulled him down to the bench beside her and held his hand in hers. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell. Do you wanna talk about it?” She crossed her legs, wondering if Benton trusted her enough to confide.
"It's nothing," he reassured her, interlocking his fingers with her own. He sighed, coming to the conclusion it was too early to talk about his gender dysphoria. Who in their right mind would disclose such personal information to person they barely might about a week ago? Although, he was starting to trust Lori, the idea didn't sit well with him. He enjoyed being stealth, but sometimes, it bothered him that he wasn't being totally honest with her. He never intended to be untruthful to her; he already knew fibs could harm others in the future.
Giving her a warm simper, he chuckled and cleared his throat, "Quick question— why did you choose to study Psychology? Most people would say the way minds work is extremely fascinating, while others use to their own advantage to manipulate and con people. What about you? Got any plans up your sleeves?" he asked jokingly, knowing Lori wasn't the crafty type. Or at least he thought so.
Strike | Lori & Benton
She smiled at him, keeping his gaze as he reassured her. Her heart was singing and she was adoring how much attention he was giving her. She closed her eyes coquettishly as he kissed her nose. “Yes, please.” She said, beaming. “I need all the help I can get.”
She watched him as he explained his strategy. Sadly it was easier said than done. “Okay, sounds simple enough. I’ll try again.” She picked up the ball and centered herself once more. Her arm swung backwards and released the ball. It went rolling down the lane, this time more centered than her first try, and knocked seven of the ten balls. Ecstatic, Lori jumped up and down, her hair bouncing all of the place as she celebrated improvement. “You’re a good teacher,” she said and kissed his cheek.
"I’m just enjoying being here with you too." She said. A red blush grew on her cheeks as the conversation turned emotional. Is he in love with me, she wondered. Suddenly she remembered Caradoc and how she was suppose to call him back.
He grinned widely, clapping as he pulled her in for a hug, "There, you did it." He tightening his grip around her waist once he felt her lips ion his cheek and smiled, pulling back slightly, only to gaze into her eyes. "Are you? I don't want to sound like a sap but I guess I. . .um. . .like you. I don't want rush things though. Let's just see where things go, OK?"
He kissed her forehead and pulled away and contemplated on revealing that he was trans. Things were getting slightly emotional and it seemed they both been invested in this relationship for awhile. He looked over at her and sighed, running a hand through his hair as his muscles strained.
"Lori," he sighed again, turning to stay composed. Pondering over it, maybe it wasn't a great idea to tell her. They didn't know each other every well and it might be too soon. "Is the bet still on? Or did you change your mind?"
Strike | Lori & Benton
Lori snorted as Benton eagerly agreed to taking the first roll. She crossed her arm, snickering at his comment. “Is my obsession with power rubbing off on you?” She raised her brow as threw the ball. Each pin was effectively knocked down. “Damnit.” she muttered, bumping Benton away with her hip as he did his victory dance.
She took advice, lining herself up in the middle of the lane and relaxing. “I get to choose how I’m repaid right?” She asked after he broke the kiss. Her arm swung back, giving the ball a little bit of momentum before she tossed it. The ball rolled at a moderate pass, it’s slanted path leaning more to the right as it approached the pins. In the end the ball only knocked out the three pins on the right. Lori shrugged, blushing at her failed attempt. “You can’t be good at everything, right?”
She switched places with Benton, taking his seat on the bench and crossing her legs. “Maybe if I stare at you intently I’ll learn the ways of the mighty bowler through some weird form of telepathy.”
He laughed and placed his hand over hers, "Ha, you can try but I don't think it'll work. Anyway. . .nice try. You still did great." He brushed his digits over her skin softly, smiling at her. He wasn't bothered that she couldn't hit all ten pins, he was just enjoying the time he was spending with her. She made him feel very comfortable and energetic and he knew that he wanted to keep seeing more of her, without he'd admit it. Kissing her nose, he got up and picked his ball again, before turning halfway to her, "I could show you how to hit all the pins if you'd like?"
He extended his hand out to her and pulled her up, taking her to the front of their lane. "Now," he began, positing the ball in front of him, inserting his fingers into the holes. "You just aim and position yourself so that the pins are straight in front of you." He placed the ball backward and threw it, hitting nine out of ten pins. "See, not too hard. Now you try."
He handed the ball to her, running his nose against hers softly. "Don't worry, I'm just enjoying being here with you. That's all that makes me happy. You being here with you." He pecked her lips softly before his cheeks turned a bright red, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I hate that I'm being exceedingly affectionate today but I can't help it but I just. . .feel something."
He shook his head and threw his hand in the air. His statement wasn't relevant at the moment.
Strike | Lori & Benton
Admittedly, Lori had never been bowling. Her confidence in beating Benton was irrational and full of wishful thinking. Still, her quick tongue would never let the opportunity to be witty pass. “Really? You’d win even on two against one? I’ll have to see that one day..” She hugged his waist while waiting in line, beaming as he planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll never get tired of hearing that from you..” she purred.
Lori watched him mess around with a bowling ball, cursing herself for getting into this bet. “Of course. I bowl all the time. You know, on Wii Sports.” She laughed, changing into the bowling shoes. Once she had the laces tied she stood up, getting a feel for the different fabric. She perked up as Benton stood in front her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her softly. She matched his kiss, resting her arms around his neck. Her waist instinctively pressed against body his harder. The people around her were unimportant in that moment. She focused on kissing him, wanting to get a satisfying reaction.
When they finally broke apart, she bite her lower lip. She wanted to admit kissing him wasn’t the only thing he’d like but there was children around. So she smiled and stroked his cheek with her thumb. A white bowling ball swirled with a glittery golden accent caught Lori’s eye. She picked it up, weighing to see if she could handle it’s weight. “Should the champion go first?” She asked, one hand on her hip as the other held the bowling ball.
Benton laughed and nodded, "Don't mind if I do." He chuckled as he walked up to the lane, positioning himself, "You know, I think your kiss might have given me some powers. I feel all. . .strong all of sudden." He turned to her and gave her a playful wink and turned away, throwing the ball. The ball rolled down to the pins, knocking all ten pins in the process. "Beat that, Wii Sports, girl!" he shouted, pointing at her as he did a small victory dance before walking back to her proudly.
"As much I'd like to win this game," he said, placing his hand on her shoulders, rubbing them softly, "Just try your best. The point is to have fun. Who knows? Maybe if you don't win, I'll repay with something else." He cupped her face and kissed her once last time before walking off and sitting down on the bench, waiting for her turn.
"Just stay in the middle and be calm, you'll do fine, Lori."
Strike | Lori & Benton
Lori rolled her eyes as Benton checked her out again, her smile still obvious. She loved how he was so open about finding her attractive. Most guys would pretend her body wasn’t important but stare and steal glances when they thought she wasn’t looking. But Benton openly stared and even admitted he was staring. It was something new for Lori and she enjoyed it even if it was a teeny bit misogynistic. “Scenery?” Lori laughed. “I’m not a little bit of landscape to you right?”
She let Benton settle her into the truck and watched him as he situated himself. “I should be fine. But I might just fake it to wear your jacket though.” She shifted in her seat as she felt her phone buzzing in her lap. Shit, she thought, realizing it was Caradoc who was calling her. She silenced her phone hoping Benton hadn’t noticed. The stillness during the ride was accompanied with a fear as Lori kept sending her boyfriend’s call to voice mail. Eventually he resorted to text messages. Lori decided she’d call him back in the ladies’ room or something. She reached for Benton’s free hand, holding it in her own for the remainder of their ride.
"You’re going to eat your words, Benton, and you know that." She said coyly. The bowling alley was moderately filled. A few groups had claimed their lanes. Lori watched as little girl delivered a powerful roll to a bowling, earning her a well deserved strike. The group around her cheered as she did a little victory dance. "Maybe I’ll get her to play on my side," she teased, taking Benton’s arm and pulling him to get sneakers.
Benton rolled his eyes, scoffing, "We'll see about that." Once they got inside the bowling alley, Benton's eyes were fixated on a young girl hitting all the pins in sight. He smiled and when Lori teased that would possibly get her on her team, he laughed, "I'd still beat both of you. I'm a bowling champion." As she pulled him to get sneakers, he giggled and pulled out his wallet. Once in the queue, he smiled at Lori, "I know this might be annoying but. . .you look really great tonight. You really do." He leaned over and pecked her cheek before turning his attention to the line.
He paid for their sneakers and lanes before eventually pulling her away to the bowling ball section, scanning the different varieties. "Have you gone bowling a lot? You seem like you have." He picked a bowling ball and toyed around with it, making sure it was perfect for his aim. The last time he'd gone bowling was when he was a teenager and very squeamish and uncomfortable in his skin. The memory made Benton feel slightly uncomfortable and less attentive. He thought about telling Lori about his situation right then and there, but he wasn't ready for her reaction.
Walking to their lane, he sat down on a bench, took off his shoes and jacket before his blue orbs glanced up at Lori, "One thing before we start this match." He stood up and wrapped his arms around Lori's waist, pressing his lips against hers softly, not caring who was watching them. He broke away from the kiss after a few moments, grinning from ear to ear. "I like kissing you," he whispered, stroking her hair softly.
Unwritten || Caradoc + Benton
"Oh, yeah, sure," Caradoc began, "One of those Trenti things sounds good." Caradoc waved his hand dismissively over the menu, his mind preoccupied on Benton.
"I think you know what I’m asking." Caradoc leaned in closer. He enjoyed making people squeamish. He could see the gears in their mind working, the sweat on their brow gleaming, their hands quivering.
His brother was the same way; constantly giving Caradoc a hard time in any situation possible. It was only during his last week of living that he finally opened up to Caradoc about his plans to wire money from his parent’s account to a secret account he’d set up. While they were children, his brother would constantly tail him around the house and screech at the top of his lungs, giving young Caradoc restless nights and insomnia at a very young age. It also didn’t help that Caradoc was afraid of his reclusive father and feared leaving his blankets are night.
”Transitioning, right? You’re name was…” Caradoc trailed off mockingly, “Sydney, right? I remember you.”
Sydney. The name he wanted to put behind him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, trying to piece together how he knew. His face bore a confused and irritated look as all the previous memories of all the pain and sadness he experienced crept into his thoughts. He clenched his fist as he tilted his head, squinting his eyes at the man. His voice was very low but stern, "How the fuck did you know that? I don't recognize you for anywhere."
A part of him wanted to grab a fistful of the man's shirt and push him against the wall and scream into his face to never call him by that name ever again. Instead, he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, releasing his stiffened fist, "I would advise to never say that name again. It makes me uncomfortable."
He gave the man a serious look while he walked off to prepare his drink. Once he was finished, he slid the drink to him as he cleared his throat, "There's your drink. And my name's Benton, for your information." He pointed to his name tag.
You're lucky we're both in a public area, otherwise, things would have gotten ugly, He thought, crossing his arms at his chest.
Strike | Lori & Benton
Lori was ready an extra hour before Benton was set to arrive. Her loose white t-shirt and tiny black skinny jeans didn’t require the normal three hour prep session she’d use for work and other occasions. And just because she had to dress skimpily for work didn’t mean she had to do so outside - she was perfectly fine with her skin covered or bare as long as it was her choice. She spent the remaining time prowling at her apartment windows, hoping her boyfriend wouldn’t return early. Which proved a hard task, though excruciatingly exciting
The man didn’t have a regular job. He was a trickster, much like Lori was in her teenage years, impulsive and maybe even obsessive. He could have easily come home, strolling through the front doors because he wanted to, or knew she was home and sneaked in to grab her from behind and scare her. But her was good at his job,maybe even better than Lori in the past year. Lori’s impulsive cravings to be ‘normal’ had long gotten in the way of her large scheming - about ever since she started school in Berkeley. It was proving hard to not share vital information, like she lived and what her real name was. Even her job at night was proving hard to hide. Why did the real world have to be so… demanding?
Her forehead resting on the cool window in front of her, Lori recognized Benton’s truck pulling up on the street. She grinned, jumping off the couch that she previously stood on and slung her brown leather satchel purse across her shoulder. She practically danced across the room, the bounce in her step proving how ebullient she was . The door slammed behind her and she quickly locked it before running off to Benton.
The San Francisco weather was cool today, not exceptionally cold but worthy of a coat. Lori, a lover of the winter, was more than willing to go without one. She pranced up to Benton, and letting her guard fall, she embraced him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she stood slightly on her tiptoes, giving him a kiss on the lips. “I’ve been waiting to do that..”
Benton giggled once she pranced up to him and was startled once she kissed, but he soon relaxed after a few moments. It’d been a few days since he’d last seen her and although he’d never admit it, he actually missed her. It was too premature to say so, but he did. Something about her crept into his thoughts, something that made him want more of her. “I can see that,” he said, finally breaking the kiss, interwining his fingers with her own. He stepped back a foot, looking at her up and down before bobbing his head, “This is definitely a different scenery for me but. . .I like it.” His lips brushed against her cheek softly before walking over to the truck, opening the door for her to enter. He made sure she was safely inside the truck before hurrying off to his own side. Once he ws situated in his own seat, he turned over to Lori, arching a brow, his face bearing a worried expression, “You’re not going to be cold, are you? I can lend you my jacket. The last thing I want is for to be freezing out there.”
The car ride was very silent; Benton spent most of the time pondering what would be the outcome of this date. It’d been a long time since he’d been on a date. Once he disclosed the fact that he was trans, some female interests were OK with this. However, being in a heterosexual relationship sometimes proved to be difficult task for Benton. Would he ever be to actually seen as male instead of just a trans male? He didn't want to be known as Benton, the trans male who could somehow relate to females. He couldn't relate to them on any level; he could not ever sympathize with them. The last thing he wanted to was a failed relationship before him. It would leave him heartbroken and devastated. It would be a repeat of all the insecurities and uncomfortableness he always tried to cascade. The thought of Lori leaving him was very difficult to grasp because Benton, whether or not he would like to admit it, was actually starting to have feelings for her. It was rare that anyone would creep into his thought frequently and made him feel very happy or make him to want to spend all of his leisure with them.
Once the truck stopped in a parking spot at Lucky Strike, Benton gave Lori a small smile before he exited out of the truck, making sure none of his female attributes were showing. He extened his hand to her once he reached her side and simpered, “I hope you brought your money because I am going to kiss your ass out there.” He gave her a playful wink.
"Human" x The Human League
Continuing along the line of 80s pop, this is one of the artists I mentioned in my previous post. This group made other popular songs besides this, possibly the most popular and prominent of those songs being “Don’t You Want Me.” But for me, this is one of my favorite songs by them. I have no clue why, but I love it.
Unwritten || Caradoc + Benton
Caradoc always preferred books over people. While living in the Duchanne Manor, his personal library was the only extravagance he ever cared for; his room was scattered with small piles of books, some crinkled with use, some laid unopened until the time of the fire, with their ashes scattered upon the resting place of what was once a “beautiful” manor. So it’s a huge surprise to see Caradoc finally emerge from the refines of a bookstore in favor of a coffee shop. “Better for me.” he thought as a bell rang signaling his entrance, “If I stay in the same place for too too long, someone many try to make conversation.” To his dismay, the coffee shop was buzzing was people. Girls in high-waisted shorts and cardigans jockeyed over a cup of iced coffee, while a couple in the corner were talking furiously and pointing at the menu, probably arguing over what to order. Caradoc had to suppress a snarl. He wasn’t even sure how these things worked, at the manor he lived in years prior, service was never an issue. Whatever he wanted, he got. There was no ‘waiting in line’.
Trying to keep himself together, Caradoc skipped the bickering couple in line while they weren’t paying attention and scanned the menu. Venti? Trenta? What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Caradoc rubbed his forehead and settled on a food item instead. With the line moving, Caradoc eyed the cashier. There was something odd about his proportions, his expression didn’t match his face and the way he moved about taking orders was strange. As if he wasn’t comfortable with himself or…
Caradoc began thinking, rummaging in his mind, trying to pull information. As his eyes scanned the Cashier’s nametag, he smirked. Benton Reed, formally known as Sydney. Transitioning. That was it. Caradoc knows a lot about a lot. When the bookstore is too full for his liking or closed, he would head to the public office and read their records. It may or may not be illegal to delve too deep into their information stores, but that detail seemed to have slipped Caradoc’s mind. So, he prowled for information, memorizing details, and it’s not every day someone in your town just decides to change their gender. If push came to shove, these details could mean the difference between $10,000 or 10 years in jail.
The line moved, and finally it was Caradoc’s turn. He pounced. “So, Mr. Reed, how many months?” Caradoc smiled ever so slightly.
The question made him stop dead in his tracks. How many months?
This question wasn’t a everyday question and it made Benton very anxious and edgy. He wasn’t sure if he meant by how many months. It could be comprehended in different ways. It could refer to: how many months had he been working at this coffee shop? How long he’d been living in San Francisco? Or the question he didn't dare bring up with unfamiliar people: how long had he been transitioning? The first three questions had very simple answers but the last one, however, was a very exclusive matter. It was an private subject that very few people knew about it. Had did this stranger of all people know about his transition?
Maybe he was just being paranoid. Benton ran a hand through his black hair and tried his now strained muscles, “Months? As in how long I’ve been working here? If so, just about two weeks. Not too long.” He fiddled with his digits and tried to concentrate on other things. For instance, how he’d have to clean the blenders before his shift ended or he’d have to take his T shot when it got home.
Unfortunately, that thought brought him back to his initial inquiry: His transition was very a personal matter and he was certain he hadn’t told anyone except his brother and other family members. Sure, his employers and government agencies knew about his name change and gender marker but it wasn’t normal for random people to ask such questions out of the blue.
So did he actually know his secret or was he really just being oversuspicious?
Adjusting his shirt and name tag, Benton give the stranger a small smile, “You want a drink or something?”
Please don’t let him ask anything else.
Call to Lori
Lori: Exactly what every girl wants to hear! [She bounced on the balls of her feet, dancing awkwardly around her room] Okay, so I'm going to go get ready. And you'll come get me in about three hours! I can't wait to see you.
Benton: You do that. I'll see you then. Don't miss me too much.
Call to Lori
Lori: [She smiles] You'll find out... Can you be patient?
Benton: [He chuckles and nods] For you, I'll be patient. How does that sound?
