Alternative Things To Call Donald Trump

We have the best alternative Trump names, everyone says so.

[unentered]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Don’t try this don’t take the risk

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “U Bum”

Lebron James

[jojostarz]

When people say they remember their childhood perfectly and not in bits and pieces with mostly a black void of nothingness like me

?? hoW in th e fuk ???

[useless-italyfacts-blog]

There’s no such thing as “pepperoni” in Italy, even though it is a corruption of the Italian word “peperoni” (sweet peppers). The most similar Italian food is “salame piccante” (spicy salami).

[tedywestside]

Then how do i order a pepperoni and pineapple pizza next time I’m in Italy?

[itsjaneshepard]

@tedywestside your pepperoni pizza is “pizza con salame piccante” and pinapple pizza is “ho bisogno di andare in chiesa a confessare i miei peccati pizza”

[linguistisch]

[alexandrareadsthings]

stop telling girls interested in lit that they need to read these great american classics by violent misogynists in order for their opinions to be valid or for their minds to be developed

[alexandrareadsthings]

listen my man I don’t give a fuck about your opinions of my literary validity, I’m perfectly happy not reading books written by men masturbating to violence against women and their own self imposed exile to prove that they’re more complex than thou through some jerk off journey to find themselves

[weavemama]

tbh America is passing bullshits laws just to be passing bullshit laws at this point

[ghostsandgoblins]

Video: Troompaloompa

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is a “carrot-tinged toddler”

Trevor Noah (Daily Show, March 20, 2017)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is a “mercurial dunderheaded real estate agent”

Samantha Bee (Full Frontal, March 22, 2017)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “a disgusting excuse of a President”

Rogue McDonald’s Tweet (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is a “man-shaped asbestos insulation board“

Anna Merlan (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “King Kong, but without the chains and the cage and the hand size”

Damon Young (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “Darth Cheeto, The World’s Rapiest Vat Of Cheese Whiz“

Damon Young (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is a “charlatan and a chickenhawk who fashions himself to be a demigod“

Damon Young (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “ a stenchy Cheeto-stuffed condom expelled from a Gila monster’s rectum and repurposed as pinata stuffing“

Damon Young (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “Jabba the Trump”

Michael K of Dlisted (source)

[alterna-trumps]

Trump is “a dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots”

Anna Merlan (source)