A Baby Seal Walks Into A Club

Welcome to my twisted mind (gosh, Alfred, that's good. Well done, me)

[vvhack]

[althewrongquestions-blog]

Black Plague and measles AIDS and psychosis Small pox and cow pox and toxoplasmosis Infections that rot you and rashes that sting These are a few of my favourite things!

[skipbinbarbie]

someone come over and put me to bed.

also STACE

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I have been told by people who are no longer around that I can tell a good bedtime story

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I am better than you, I have a violin, and you do not know my gender

[internmarce]

I can’t believe I actually have three cats.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

If three is too many, I have a bag for life that can make it two or even one while also being good for the environment

[internmarce]

One of my cats is a gay alien and the other is a misanthropic android.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I'm assuming a cat, regardless of its origin or sexual denomination, will drown just as good as any other

[internmarce]

I can’t believe I actually have three cats.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

If three is too many, I have a bag for life that can make it two or even one while also being good for the environment

[althewrongquestions-blog]

@greenbloodedtrashlord look, I've not figured out how to privately message on this website yet but I've ordered a large amount of takeaway food and can't eat it because it doesn't agree with me. I'll let you have it all if I can watch you eat it.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I don't tend to judge on body type, either. Aesthetic superiority can come in all shapes and sizes - I'm rail thin and look the bees knees, @greenbloodedtrashlord is considerably less angular but is nonetheless very pleasing to look at. Goodness, look at all this kindness I'm exuding today. I'm making Mother Theresa look like Pol Pot - I bet neither of them had a cool blog.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

Two groups you will never see me mock or berate on this blog are homeless people and the Amish. They don't have computers, I have to mock and berate them manually.

[althewrongquestions-blog]

One of my favourite things about being me is the fact I can make jokes as horrible and insensitive as I like and face no repercussions because people know I can cause great harm to them and their loved ones Example @maximumoverfry how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

[althewrongquestions-blog]

We're raising a generation of complainers. These days, there's a million different indigestion-preventing tablets and drinks. Do you know what some less-fortune people who lack a digestive system (not naming names) would give for indigestion? Check your privilege, hominids

[althewrongquestions-blog]

Sometimes I like to tell service staff my ice water isn't cold enough. I don't drink and can't sense temperature.

[skipbinbarbie]

@althewrongquestions get off the tungblr grandad

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I’m afraid that won’t be possible. I’m like polio, even if you do get rid of me, you won’t amount to much, so I might as well stay!

[skipbinbarbie]

your blog smells of mothballs 

[althewrongquestions-blog]

Enjoy your moth-covered blog! While my blog remains comfortably moth free, like my wardrobe

[skipbinbarbie]

@althewrongquestions get off the tungblr grandad

[althewrongquestions-blog]

I'm afraid that won't be possible. I'm like polio, even if you do get rid of me, you won't amount to much, so I might as well stay!

[quacklemore]

Sometimes I check my messages to make sure I still have none

[ahlees-deactivated20170726]

[honeytrapqueen]

hey! followers! get to know me by

fighting me to the death