ASUMMARY: Alone again, but this time, it's different. Memories of your past haunt you, leaving you vulnerable. But this time, it’s your own blood on your hands.
WARNINGS: Violence, swearing, mentions of death
WORDS: 3.2k
After the long wait, chapter 6 is finally here! This isn't proofread/edited so I apologize, but I hope you enjoy!
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It had been a long time since I’d last felt this way; so astonished, so upset, so utterly betrayed even though I knew it was my own fault. I shouldn’t have trusted Dream from the start―everything about him amassed to become one huge red flag that I chose to ignore because he made me feel things; things other than loneliness and misery; things that made my stomach whirl and my heart flutter in my chest. He made me feel wanted and, despite my guarded ways, he made me feel human again. Being surrounded by an ever-growing swarm of zombies made it easy for me to feel just as lifeless, but Dream had managed to reignite the spark of my humanity.
But now, as I stared at the blonde with disgust, I felt the flame go out as though it had been carried with the wind.
“Y/N stop, just let me explain.” Dream pleaded, scrambling to his feet so he could approach me. I ignored his words and picked up my sleeping bag, rolling it up carelessly so I could shove it into my backpack. The sound of Dream’s footsteps got closer and I nearly flinched once I felt his hand wrap around my wrist.
“Y/N-”
“Don’t touch me.” I spat, narrowing my eyes at the man. His face fell drastically at my bitter tone, though he backed away from me with a guilt-stricken expression.
“Look, if you just let me explain, I promise you’ll understand.” Dream started, his voice wavering as he stared at me desperately. Spinning around on my heels, I scowled at the blonde, almost grimacing at the way he cowered beneath my furious gaze.
“There’s nothing to understand beside the fact that you’re a liar.”
“Y/N please, I only did it to protect you.” He reasoned desperately, almost exasperated as he stared into my narrowed eyes.
“Protect me? Protect me?” I repeated incredulously, watching as Dream chewed on his lower lip. “The only thing I need protection from is you.” I hissed, feeling my heart drop at my own words.
No, you’re right―how could you feel safe around someone who had been lying to you the entire time?
Dream fell silent and watched me with desperate eyes, running a hand through his mussed hair. I could tell that he was fighting the urge to reach out and stop me, though he managed to keep his composure and let his arms hang limply by his sides.
“And don’t even think about following me,” I continued with a scowl, facing Dream one final time before warning him, “or I will kill you.”
All of the color had drained from Dream’s face and he swallowed thickly before nodding, averting his gaze to the ground as he murmured, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
Without waiting for a response, I turned around, my expression steely despite the dread that crept up in my chest. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going now that I was back to square one―without Dream by my side and any true destination in mind, things would be back how they were before, and I didn’t know how to feel about it.
But I knew one thing: I had to let him go.
It would be too dangerous for me to go on and fend for myself shrouded by a thick haze of melancholy―that was practically a death sentence in itself, never mind the distraction it would pose.
So, as I stepped away from the campsite, feeling my heart pound in my chest, I blew out a deep breath and prepared myself for the journey ahead of me.
Forget about him, he doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore except for surviving.
I listened to my head despite the longing I felt in my heart.
***
An hour passed and I had covered decent ground. The sun was shining as bright as ever, beating down mercilessly on my already sweaty body, though I paid it no mind. A part of me worried that Dream had followed me, while another part of me worried that he hadn’t―despite the constant battle in my head, I knew that deep down I wanted to be with Dream no matter how big of a liar I had deemed him to be―it was stupid, but true.
In the limited amount of time I had gotten to know him, it seemed as though I had learned everything there was to know about him. Aside from his background, I knew enough about Dream to deduce he wasn’t some sort of psychopath or murderer, and I certainly didn’t take him to be a liar. There must have been a valid reason; some ulterior motive for his dishonesty, right?
No, there’s not. I reminded myself, trapping my bottom lip between my teeth. Of course he lied―he’s no different from anyone else.
I wanted to feel angry at his dishonesty and drop my thoughts about him and the whole situation in general, but it only left me confused. Dream claimed that he had only lied to protect me, but what did that even mean? We were strangers when he told me about the safe haven, so why did he want to protect me then? I had treated him horribly and he still stuck by my side, why?
Confused thoughts continued to surface my brain, but I tried to push them down. What happened to letting it go so you could focus?
Letting go was harder than I thought, I realized, but I was relieved once I got distracted by a thick mass of clouds concealing the sun. The world around me dimmed slightly, and it wasn’t until I looked up that I realized just how cloudy it truly was. I had concluded that it was going to rain soon, and the thought relieved me―it hadn’t rained in days. Though it would put my trek to a pause, I was pleased to discover that the weather would be a bit more bearable.
A light breeze swept through the woods, snapping me out of my grateful thoughts. Judging by the cloud cover, I guessed that it would start raining by sundown, meaning that I would only have a few hours to set up camp and gather more resources. So, I cleared my scattered thoughts and focused intently on my surroundings in hopes of finding an abandoned camp.
***
The sun had begun to set and I was still in search of new resources. My troubled thoughts made it difficult to stay focused and, as a result of my newfound solitude, there was only one pair of eyes scouring the area opposed to two. I tried not to acknowledge the silence in the air; the lack of banter that I had gotten accustomed to in such little time; and instead listened for the sound of anyone―or anything―nearby.
And then, minutes passed.
I was becoming discouraged at my failure. Not being able to find resources meant that I would be struggling during the storm, and that was the last thing I needed. Although my entire body was aching and sunburnt, I persevered―I wouldn’t let the voice in my head have the satisfaction of knowing how lost I am without Dream, even if I had previously survived on my own for months.
Pathetic, I know.
We’d only known each other for a few days and I had already managed to become reliant on him. Not long ago, I was on my own, and I was doing just fine fending for myself. But now? Now it feels odd to walk alone; to hear one set of footsteps instead of two; to be alone with my thoughts instead of being pestered by an annoyingly attractive blonde.
Stop. Forget about him.
I tried to remind myself and stay focused, but my attempts were futile―the only thing I could focus on was the emptiness in my chest.
“Pull yourself together.” I muttered beneath my breath, sighing at my own incompetence.
The sky was growing dark, partly due to the lowering sun, and partly due to the thick mass of clouds above. I could tell that it was going to rain any second, but I wouldn’t let it stop me. I quickened my pace, somehow determined despite the ache in my heart. There weren’t any clearings around, never mind abandoned camps or stores, and I had begun to worry that I would be spending the night drenched and starving in my ripped tent.
But then, I saw it.
Nestled deeply between the swaying oaks was a shack of sorts. It was dilapidated and covered in ivy, but it would suffice for the night. I knew I wouldn’t be able to set up my tent before the rain started, so the shed was the next best option.
As I approached the run down building, it had begun to drizzle. Small droplets plopped on the top of my head, and I tried not to think about what Dream would do if he was here; how he would look if he was here. His messy blonde hair, damp and curled beneath the downpour; his speckled skin glistening with raindrops; his lips quirked up into a grin as he bathed beneath the clouds.
Stop it, focus. You need to hurry up before the storm starts.
I tried to listen to my thoughts―I really did―but it was only a matter of time before my mind wandered back to Dream.
Where was he now? Was he safe? Did he find a shelter for the night?
Stepping into the shed, I felt the wood creak beneath my feet. While the structure was shabby and sported an overpowering scent of mold, I knew it was my only option. Already, the rain had begun to pick up, and it pelted down on the battered roof, leaking through the numerous holes that had rotted through the wood.
The shed was dark and decrepit, so much to the point where I had to fish a flashlight out of my bag. I stuck the butt of it between my teeth while I zipped up my backpack, almost grimacing at its metallic taste. Once I had slung my bag back around my shoulders, I shone the flashlight into the room.
Bad idea.
Illuminated in the right corner of the shed was a zombie, and I let out a gasp once I caught sight of it. Its skin was grimy and grey, littered with bruises and bloody gashes all over its decaying body. There were a few matted patches of hair that clung desperately to it’s head, and I was unsure whether it was once a man or a woman.
Regardless, it was a zombie, and it was heading straight for me.
With a yelp, I reached for my pistol, hoping that my foggy, distracted brain would clear enough just so that I could save my own life.
And it did. Eventually.
Before I could aim, the zombie threw itself at me. The impact instantly sent me flying onto the ground, and I groaned once a sharp flare of pain shot up my spine. Animalistically, the monster thrashed against my body, trying to paw at me from every angle. I grunted in both frustration and exhaustion as I fought back, trying to gather enough strength to shove the zombie off of me.
After a few more moments of squirming, I found myself able to throw the zombie onto the ground. The rain was coming down hard, pouring onto the previously scorched earth with ease. The ground beneath me was slick with mud and I tried not to slip as I pushed myself back onto my feet.
I now had the upper hand―there was no way that a zombie, already uncoordinated on dry terrain, could take me down.
And, thankfully, my distracted thoughts weren’t too overbearing to stunt my reflexes.
Just as the zombie had begun to scramble to its feet, I cocked my gun and pulled the trigger.
Boom.
The shot cracked like thunder, echoing throughout the vicinity in an ominous rumble. Every muscle in my body ached as I relaxed my limbs, letting out a sigh of relief once the zombie went limp in front of me, and I trudged back over to the shed tiredly.
So much for finding a shelter. I thought to myself as I shivered beneath my drenched clothes, cringing at the slosh of water beneath my soles every time I took a step forward.
My heart pounded in my chest, an erratic reminder of the constant state of danger I was in, and I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I felt a sense of dread swallow my mind as I processed my circumstances―I was so distracted by my own sorrowful thoughts that the presence of a zombie was the last thing on my mind.
This is what happens when you let your guard down; you shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.
With a prolonged sigh, I stepped back into the shed, this time with great hesitation as I scanned the room a second time. Much to my relief, it was empty, and I took its vacancy as a sign to set up my sleeping bag.
My sopping clothes clung to my skin uncomfortably as I laid my sleeping bag on the floor, complimenting the damp strands of hair that stuck to my forehead. A drop of water beaded down the back of my neck as I sifted through my backpack, hoping to find a dry change of clothes somewhere within my bag. Luckily, at the bottom of the pocket, there laid a t-shirt and a pair of baggy sweatpants. Once I pulled them out from beneath the mountain of other random items in my bag, I felt my heart drop into my stomach.
The t-shirt was a dark shade of green and in surprisingly good condition. There weren’t any rips or holes in its thin cotton and it was barely even dirty. But there was a downside to my discovery―it wasn’t mine.
Perhaps it was the smell that gave it away; that achingly familiar scent of faded pine and fresh earth. The aroma wrapped around me like a blanket, a stark contrast to my moldy environment, and offered me a newfound sense of comfort. But then, I felt my chest constrict in pain.
I never thought it was possible to become so attached to someone, so reliant on someone who was once a mere stranger, and feel so lost without them. But alas, there I was on the verge of tears over a t-shirt.
With a shaky sigh, I settled down onto the floor, clutching the shirt between my fists. I then removed my pistol and holster from my belt, tossing them across the floor bitterly. The rain was coming down even harder and leaked through the roof, forming a massive, ever-growing puddle in the corner of the room that made a constant dripping noise. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head down tiredly, trying to ward off any thoughts of zombies and Dream and my solitude, though they were the only things that crossed my mind.
A sudden flash of lightning caught my attention and I looked up in surprise. The gloomy woods around me were illuminated briefly, revealing an expanse of windblown trees. Curling into myself, I tried to shield myself from the storm, feeling a gust of damp wind swirl through the doorway. For the first time in a long time, I felt helpless. Every flash of lightning was a constant reminder of my solitude and for a moment, I tried to picture myself somewhere warm, somewhere happy and zombie-free in a failed attempt to calm myself down, but my efforts were fruitless.
I shivered and clutched onto the t-shirt tighter, praying that the storm would pass already. A distant rumble of thunder caused my body to jolt in surprise and I let out a yelp as it echoed throughout the forest.
You’ve survived three near-death experiences with zombies in the past week and you’re going to let a thunderstorm scare you?
I tried to convince myself to be strong―that I had survived much worse―but nothing could settle my nerves.
For a brief moment, the wind and rain had quieted just enough so that it was nearly silent, and I felt my body go rigid once I heard the shed creak and groan beneath its weight. Daring to open my eyes, I let out a scream once I caught sight of the intruder, its decaying body glistening beneath the rainy skies. Scrambling backwards, I shuffled my body until my back was pressed against the wall.
Another? How did it find me?
The gunshot. I realized in anger.
The zombie took a step forward, almost invisible in the darkness. It stood only a few feet away from me, gurgling and growling to itself as it watched me from the doorway.
My heart pounded in my chest and I reached instinctively for my pistol, though I was met with nothing but a belt loop in its place. I felt my stomach churn at the sickening realization and I nearly smacked myself for throwing my gun across the room earlier. Hesitantly, I inched towards the opposite corner of the room, hoping I could reach my pistol before anything got too serious. However, the zombie eyed my movements carefully and wasted no time pouncing at me.
With a shriek, my body hit the floor, instantly shooting a flare of pain up the back of my head. I reached out and tried to push the zombie off of me, though I found great difficulty fighting the monster off.
“Get off of me!” I cried out desperately, kicking and pawing at the zombie in a poor attempt to save myself. Of course, the monster ignored my plea and continued to thrash against me, using its upper-hand to its advantage. I wanted to cry and give up, for I was no match for its unprecedented strength, but I fought back as much as I could.
Dream isn’t here―there’s no knight in shining armor to save you anymore. You’re on your own.
I reminded myself pitifully, feeling my body ache beneath the zombie’s weight. My thoughts had fueled my adrenaline and I sent a powerful kick to the monster’s stomach, sending it onto the floor beside me. Quickly, I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the dull ache in my head as I ran to my pistol.
But I was doomed.
Lightning flashed rapidly and revealed a second intruder in the doorway, and I was now outnumbered. Before I was even near my gun, I was sent reeling. The impact knocked the wind out of me and I sputtered and gasped for air like a fish out of water, clutching my chest as I wheezed desperately. The zombies circled around me like two hungry vultures eyeing their prey, waiting for the perfect moment to attack and tear me to shreds.
Well, this is it. You fought your hardest, but there’s nothing you can do now.
One final flash of lightning illuminated the shed and I was able to make out two gory faces in front of my own, rotten and decayed beyond repair. A pain tore through my side and I screamed out in agony, praying that someone―anyone―would suddenly swoop in and save me from my death, but there was no one.
You’re all alone.
With one final fleeting moment of consciousness, I was able to register two loud cracks of thunder and a blurry, tall figure in front of me.
all the emotions and visualizations in this chapter were just- my gods, amazing! this is probably my favorite chapter so far, i loved everything about it ❣️
my best friend and i went on omegle last night and met two twitch streamers. we called them on discord because omegle was laggy but it was actually fun, a 10/10 experience tbh
it’s okay, no worries! i understand people are busy and have lives outside of tumblr hehe :)) honestly i can do a better job and reaching out too so sorry i haven’t
i’m glad you’re doing well! it’s always great to spend time with your loved ones so it’s good you’ve been doing that <3
i’m okay! school has started for me so i’ve been keeping myself busy with that :) other than that i feel like i haven’t done much tho
no need to apologize love, i completely understand <3
and agreed! i’m really happy i’ve been able to spend my time this way ❤️
i hope school has been going well! it’s okay that you haven’t done much else - school can be stressful so it’s great to relax and take breaks when you can :) i hope you have an amazing rest of your day/night my love!! 🥰
i hope cramming isn't too stressful for you, so make sure to take breaks here and there! don't wear yourself out. but i'm excited to see the bext chapter 🤭
i'm doing fairly well. i only just woke up a little while ago, but still. i have a bit of work to do for my classes, as well as a bit of writing, so today is a bit busier than usual!
currently, i have a few favorite songs, of which don't at all match vibes, but they're still good!
my favorite though is this one called Clair de Lune! it's a classical piano piece and it's so good i swear.
there are two different versions, one of which is the more classical by Claude Debussy and Martin Jones, but the other is a lot more electronic, and that one is by Daniel Olsén.
anywho! now begs the question of what your favorite song is 🤭
hi my love! you never need permission to send an ask, i look forward to seeing you in my notifs 🥺💕
i know the song clair de lune!! the name debussy made me bust out laughing though because a.) there’s a scene in twilight where edward talks about him and b.) bussy.
sorry for that.
but yes!! i feel like classical music is so underrated 😅
my favorite song at the moment is probably lovers rock by tv girl or les by childish gambino! they are two very very different songs but i’ve had them on repeat all week 😌
i haven't watch twilight in ages, oh boy. those films are always a trip 😅
BUT ALSO YES the fact that his name has 'bussy' in it is goddamn hillarious. and i feel like how it's also classical makes it so much better
personally, my taste in music is so wide ranged. i have so many different playlists portraying different types of music. however! classical and jazz are a soft spot of mine, and they allow me to focus, so it's a win-win!
i believe i've heard of both songs, but have never listened to them directly. maybe i'll change that 🤭
here's the more from later. i am just so upset right now watching this show i can't believe this bitch is doing my fave like this. she thinks she's putting him in danger than girl STOP leave my mans alone 😭 she starts crying over the phone and i was like haha yeah CRY but then he goes "no don't cry" and it HIT ME so hard. it's crazy how this show affects me. it's crazy how fictional characters affect me. or fanfiction. shits just... wild.
i love bloodfeather by the way :D can't wait for more!! with all that out of the way (sorry for my rambles), how has your day been?
trust me, i know the feeling. i get so deeply invested in shows, books, and literally everything that interests me so i completely understand how you feel. what show are you watching?
and thank you so much!! that makes me so happy to hear 🥰
please don’t apologize for your message, i actually really love getting asks like this :) they make me smile because it shows that people enjoy talking about their days and such with me 😅
my day has been okay! i decided to work on chapter 6 of bloodfeather instead of procrastinating until last minute and it’s actually coming along really well :) besides that, i’m about to hang out with my best friend 😌
it’s going pretty well! i got a calzone and i left my friend anon asks as a joke that ended up getting a genuine response that made me happy alskdfjlaj i hope you know i was talking about spencer reid. - Blade
thank you so much for 1.2k! words cannot explain how happy i am - i know i haven’t been the most active lately, but i really do appreciate every single one of my followers and mutuals. you all just make me happier than i could ever express 🥺
i’m so lucky to interact with such amazing people on a daily basis and i wouldn’t trade it for the world 💖💗💘💕
i love you all so much and i’m always here for you! <3
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