Raven🧸

digital diary - pro recovery { DNI if you are!! } ----------------------------------------------------------------------active on twitter-------------- height - 162 cm hw:130 lw:110 cw:114 gw:105 ugw:100

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊TW: MEANSPØ

Put the chips down.

You don't need it nor do you want it. Look down at that pathetic piece of flabby skin you call your stomach, don't you want to be able to look down and see your feet? you're beautiful hip bones? A smaller number on the scale? The cave of your slim stomach and not a fucking boulder? If you're really that hungry then eat smth better than that fatass that's not you're only option. Or not, do what you want, but don't cry when you look in the mirror and see how much fat you've let build, how chubby your face is, that flabby little muffin top that spills over all of your pants, the armpit fat that ruins all of your tanks, your massive legs that not even a grown man could fit 2 hands around. You won't just 'purge it later', that's an excuse. You would rather look like that forever right? You don't really want to be sk1nny, do you? Yeah exactly, put it down.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊im very disappointed in myself, I could have been at my ugw by now but I fucked up. I don't understand why it's so hard to stay consistent. I was so godamn close, my stomach was flat every morning, my hip bones, collarbones, wrist were all thin and noticeable. The scale was constantly going down and I was making so much progress. That's probably why I think, I thought "good enough" and started stuffing myself, stopped monitoring my intake, stopped working out at much. Don't do that, you're setting yourself up for failure and you will be fat forever.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊im a cow I'm pig I'm disgusting.

[alwaysamormio]

Missed the last few days but I'll just do them all today

ଘ┊ Day 5 - why do you rlly want to lose weight? Is it for you?

Yes, I am doing it for me. Because I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see, I want to be able to look at myself not feel the need to compare to everyone else or feel so big in a room of people. I want to love myself.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊TW: HARSH MEANSPØ

Directed at myself, never at my lovely followers <33

OHH MY GODDDD DO YOU EVER STOP FUCKING EATING?! We get it, you're fat, that doesn't mean you have to constantly stuff your face. The secret to being skinny isn't in your fridge, or in your pantry, or anywhere else in your kitchen. One would assume that you'd be tired of people having to look at you like that yet you just keep eating, and eating and looking for more shit you can consume, straying farther and farther away from your goal but by the looks of it you don't seem to care. This is why you still look the way you do. You've been dis0rder3d for how long? If I was still that fucking huge I'd lock myself in my room and ⭐ve until I looked presentable. You're an embarrassment. You should be embarrassed.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊TW: HARSH MEANSPØ

Was it good? I hope so because in just a few minutes you know what won't feel so good? The feeling of all that food you ate settling and sticking mounds of fat onto your body, all because you wanted to have a little taste, "one bite couldn't hurt" now look at you. Look in a mirror, I know you see it. I know you feel it. All that food jiggling around in your fat and bloated stomach just making you look bigger than you already are. It's really a shame, it's not that hard to have self control. You could've been skinny by now.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊ things that have been said to me to trigger my rel@ps3

- "damn you're eating AGAIN?"

- "you're in the kitchen again?"

- "don't worry, she'll eat it"

- "you're an eater huh?"

- "you're not fat you're healthy"

- "I love your tummy"

Thank you soo much for this family and friends, now I have meanspø that lives in my head constantly and I will never look at my body the same <33

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊ Day 4 - greatest fears Abt w31ght loss

Not being able to stop when I get to my ugw, or not knowing how I'll look when I get there and possibly not liking it. I alr have an addictive personality and I've always had a bad relationship with food so ik this will only make it worse but I don't think I care that much it just worries me. Even if I don't like the way I look, anything is better than this. Also, finally getting down to my ugw, buying new clothes, but then gaining the weight back and none of them fitting. I don't expect to just gain it all back but it's a scary thought.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊ all nighter failed, fuck it. Not allowed to have a full meal until I reach my gw3.. it's literally like 6 kgs, it's not that hard I'm just a pig.

[bloodycorpz3]

It's not just about the eating- a shit post

it's about what happens afterwards. Feeling it sit and settle in my body disgusts me, the way I can feel the shame creep in knowing I could have prevented this.

I feel so light, so airy and clean- tight, fit, firm, yet when I eat, unless it's the most healthiest option possible, I feel gross, heavy, hot, full of cellulite which weighs me down physically and mentally. I feel genuinely so fucking gross. I can't explain it, I actually feel so vile and fat.

As I sit, I can feel how much my arms are dragging me down- The weight on my thighs, watching them expand is nauseating. When I walk, my ankles feel the pressure. I can feel my stomach tucking in when I'm hunched over. I feel so repulsive and disgusting. How my skin flaps and droops and sags. God I hate loose skin.

I'm repulsive truly, and I'm worried that soon others will see me the way I see myself.

"You're not fat-" you haven't seen me naked. You haven't seen me eat. You haven't seen me.

[alwaysamormio]

My god this couldnt have been said any better

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊pulling an all nighter so I can sleep in tmmr and avoid a few meals any ideas on what I should do to stay awake?

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊⭐ving until I can use my own pics as my Tumblr pfp

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊Day 3 - pics of my Th1nspø, what features I like

One of my th1nsp1rations is Quincymood on insta, I absolutely love her hip to waist ratio and the fact that her ribs are showing but her thighs aren't too too small, her proportions are just to die for.

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊Anyone have any 4n4 movie/show recommendations? Either explicitly 4n4 or just thinspo <33

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊Trying to purge but nothing comes up<<<<

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊Day 2 - my height

I'm 5'4.9 idk why the doctors can't just give me that .1 but otherwise I like my height, I'm not the shortest in the room but I'm not the tallest either. Plus most guys are either my height or taller so yay!

[alwaysamormio]

ଘ┊Just had my first public meal after rel@psing, here's some tips on how I restricted without causing suspicion.

{Doesn't work for everyone I just happen to be with someone who doesn't watch my every move}

- Order water and lemons, drink a gulp or multiple sips between each bite. No juice, no soda, especially if the meal is caloric already.

- If your teeth can completely cover what you're biting into then the bite is too big, nothing more than a nibble. {Ex/ if my entire top row of teeth are on a slice of pizza the bite is too big, a good sized bite for me would be only my front 2 teeth on the food.}

- If you're a chewer and spitter an excuse I use is saying it's nasty and spitting it into a napkin. saying it out loud will further trick your brain into thinking you don't like it and gets other ppl off your back.

- Napkins inside napkins, no one wants to see chewed up food bby.

- Don't use any condiments, unnecessary calories

- Try to avoid ordering greasy food but if it's inevitable then use a napkin and dab the grease off {you can do this by cutting a piece and dabbing it under the table}

As always though, don't overdo it and if you absolutely need the food - as in your body is shutting down on you - then eat it! No one will care that you're skinny if you're dead. Just don't binge and if you do THATS OKAY, tomorrow is a new day so don't beat yourself up over it. Drink water and count those calories beautiful <3