summary. when you and jungkook show up to your much anticipated graduation trip and realise neither of you had the guts to tell your friends about your recent break up, there’s only one thing you can do to keep the trip from falling apart: pretend.
but somewhere between fake kisses and real feelings, you start to wonder if letting go was ever the right choice at all.
pairing: jeon jungkook x f!reader
genre/warnings: exes to lovers, fake dating, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, swearing, fluff, angst, holy fuck jk is a pathetic yearner i love him, explicit sexual content (mdni), lots and lots of kissing, brief breast play, oral (f. recieving), petnames (angel), really really soft & tender sex :(
word count: 7.6k
notes: (read full author’s note at the end of the chapter cuz it’s longgg) i procastinated this part so bad, but finally, here it is. writing the smut in this was definitely an… experience, and it’s not my usual writing, so i apologise if it isn’t the best. likes, comments, reblogs, asks and feedback are soo appreciated. enjoy reading my angels <33
⤷ chapter eight — lover, you should've come over
"so i'll wait for you, love / and i'll burn / will i ever see your sweet return?”
FIVE WEEKS LATER
It’s two in the morning, and the city has stilled.
Jungkook sits in the living room with the lights off. There’s only the orange glow from the streetlight that filters through the slats of the blinds, stretching in long shadows across the hardwood floor. The TV is off, the soundbar unplugged. He’s on the couch, feet bare against cold wood, a half-full glass of whiskey resting in his palm like an afterthought.
He hasn’t spoken to anyone all day.
He should sleep. He has work tomorrow — well, technically today, given the hour — but the thought of crawling into bed alone again, pretending not to notice how empty the sheets feel and how quiet everything gets without your breathing beside him, keeps him rooted in place.
He takes another slow sip, grimacing at the taste.
It’s not like he didn’t try to build something here. The place is fine. Modern. Big enough for one (really, it's big enough for two but he doesn't let himself say that out loud). The kitchen island is spotless. The walls still smell faintly of fresh paint. He bought a plant last week, a pothos or something, and it’s somehow still alive. The kind of normalcy he thought would help him forget. Reset.
But it never feels like home. Not the way you did.
Sure, the days are manageable. He's built up a routine that keeps his head busy — morning coffee, train ride, work, gym, home. He nods when people talk to him. He smiles when his manager tells a joke. He even laughed once last Thursday because Hoseok sent a meme to the group chat that was so absurd it cracked him up. But none of it sticks. Nothing lands. It all brushes off his skin like dust.
And the nights?
The nights are brutal.
This is when his mind slows down just enough to let the ache rise again. When he finds himself wandering the apartment, opening drawers like he’s looking for something, like maybe you might’ve left a bobby pin or a receipt or — God, anything that says you were once here. That you loved him once.
He knows he won't find anything. You haven't even seen this place, let alone lived in it. But still, he catches himself doing it too often.
It’s pathetic, probably. He knows it. But grief makes people strange. It makes time bend, like now, when seventy-three days have passed but it still feels like yesterday that you watched as he left, suitcase in hand, desperately fighting the urge to look back.
You asked for space. You asked for time. And he gave it to you. Every inch, even when it clawed at him.
Because the truth is, he knew he’d messed it all up. He let silence fester in place of conversation, convinced himself he was doing the right thing by letting you go. Convinced himself you’d be better off chasing your future without him weighing you down. He thought he was doing the noble thing — stepping aside so you wouldn’t have to choose.
But you did choose. And he never gave you the chance to say it out loud.
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face, elbows digging into his knees. The ice in his glass has mostly melted, the amber swirl going pale and soft at the edges. Somewhere across the street, a neon sign buzzes faintly, the only sound besides the piercing silence.
He should sleep.
He won’t.
Instead, he leans back, lets his head fall against the couch cushion, and closes his eyes, just for a second. Just to let the weight of everything he’s holding settle again.
He doesn't know many minutes pass as he sits in silence, but it's when the first inklings of sleep creep up on him that a buzz cuts through the air.
It’s faint. Barely there — a low vibration against the coffee table.
His eyes flutter open, groggy and flat. He doesn’t reach for it. Doesn’t even glance right away.
Because it’s never you.
Every call he’s picked up over the last five weeks, heart thundering in his chest, thumb swiping too fast — it’s never you. Wrong name. Wrong voice. Wrong timing. And every time, he feels a little more stupid; a little more hollowed out.
So he lets it buzz twice more before instinct wins over doubt.
He leans forward slowly, eyes finally dropping to the screen, preparing himself to feel that same old hit of disappointment in his chest. But it never comes.
My ____
Your name, exactly how it’s always been saved. He never changed it. Couldn’t bring himself to. Even on the nights where he told himself he had to move on and make peace with the silence — he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t erase that last bit of you from his phone.
His breath catches.
The glass is left forgotten on the table as he grabs the phone with both hands, like it might vanish if he hesitates too long. His thumb hovers over the green button for a brief second before answering.
He waits for your voice. He can hear the faint sound of your breathing on the other end, and a part of him fears that you'll end the call any second now.
But then, you speak.
“Hello?”
You're voice is quiet. A little uncertain.
Jungkook’s heart caves in.
Relief pours through him all at once, warm and slow, like the first beam of sunlight after a long winter. For a second, he can’t even speak.
Every second he spent waiting, every moment he kept himself from reaching out, all erupts at once, and now that he’s heard your voice again, really heard it, his body doesn't know whether to collapse or run to you.
He sags back into the couch like his body can finally rest for the first time in weeks.
“Hey,” he whispers, voice cracking around the edges.
You’re quiet on the other end, but he hears you breathe out hesitantly, like you’re testing the waters.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d answer.”
Jungkook closes his eyes for a moment, fingers tightening around the phone. “I almost didn’t,” he admits, voice low. “Thought it was another wrong number. Couldn’t take that again tonight.”
A soft exhale leaves you. He imagines you lying in bed, curled up in the way you always are, phone pressed to your ear, blanket tucked under your chin. The image cuts through him with a sharp kind of ache.
“I wasn’t planning to call,” you say. “Not really. I just... I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep.”
His throat tightens. “Yeah,” he says. “Me neither.”
There’s a pause. It stretches out just long enough that his chest starts to feel hollow again before you speak.
“When I said I needed time,” you begin, “I meant it. I needed to get my head right. I needed space to think without everything feeling so heavy.”
Jungkook nods even though you can’t see him. He presses a hand to his forehead, thumb brushing the curve of his brow. He doesn’t say anything yet. He doesn’t want to interrupt.
“I needed to figure out what I was even angry about. Or what I was still holding onto,” you continue. “And maybe... maybe I wanted you to grovel a little.”
That pulls a breathy laugh from him before he can stop it. It escapes rough and surprised, but warm, like something inside him shakes loose.
“You wanted me to grovel?” he echoes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I see how it is.”
“Well,” you say, and there’s a hint of something familiar in your voice now — that teasing edge he’s missed so much. “I figured if I was miserable, you should be at least a little miserable too.”
“Oh, I’ve been more than a little miserable,” he mutters, tilting his head back again, letting it rest against the cushion. “Trust me.”
You’re quiet again, like you're rethinking your words.
“I kept thinking about the last thing you said to me,” you murmur. “At the resort. About the kiss.”
His body tenses, guilt twisting in his gut.
“And I hated how much that hurt,” you say. “Because you saying it didn’t mean anything made me feel stupid. Like I was the only one still holding onto something. Like I’d made everything up in my head.”
“____…” His voice cracks again, thick with regret. “I didn’t mean that. I was being stupid. I was angry and confused and— I was hurt too. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”
“Well,” you say, “you were wrong.”
God, he doesn't know whether he wants to cry or to laugh. A part of him wants to drive through the night until he’s standing outside your door, but he stays still, grounded only by the quiet rhythm of your breathing in his ear.
“I miss you, Kook." The nickname he hasn't heard in so long, falls from your lips as a shaky whisper.
He closes his eyes. His fingers twitch around the phone, like he might shatter it if he grips any harder. For weeks, he’s imagined you saying his name again, and finally hearing it from you has his heart swelling.
“I miss everything,” you go on, voice smaller now. “I miss talking to you about dumb things. I miss your stupid socks on the floor. I miss the way you made coffee even though you always forgot to stir the sugar in.”
He lets out a small huff of air — a laugh that’s too close to a sob.
“I miss you too,” he says, swallowing hard. “So much.”
You let out a soft exhale from the other end.
“Okay,” you murmur, and it’s barely a whisper. “Then, if we're gonna give this one more chance, I want there to be rules. But right now I— I just want to see you. Please."
His heart stutters for a few beats.
“Now?” he echoes, like he doesn’t believe it.
You hesitate before saying softly, “Yeah. I want to see you.”
Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice.
He’s already getting up, the couch creaking beneath him as he moves fast, grabbing his keys off the hook, pulling on the jacket that he'd draped over a chair after work. The phone stays clutched to his ear the entire time.
“I’m on my way,” he says, breathless.
He can hear your smile through the phone.
“Okay.”
You don’t move right away.
The lock clicks open beneath your hand with a sound that feels too loud in the quiet, and for a second you just stand there, fingers still curled around the knob, heart threatening to rattle right out of your chest. You tell yourself to breathe. Tell yourself you’re okay. That this is what you asked for. That you want this.
But the second the door eases open and you see him standing there, the air around you stills.
Jungkook is backlit by the hallway light, hair messy from the hood he’s now pushed back, black strands curling slightly from the mist in the air. He’s wearing a grey hoodie — one of those oversized ones you always stole when you were cold — and matching grey sweats, hand tucked into the pocket.
His eyes meet yours, wide and soft in that way that always made your chest ache, and for a long moment, neither of you speak.
You just look at him.
He’s thinner than he was five weeks ago. Not drastically, not in any way someone else might notice, but you see it instantly. You see it in the sharpness of his jaw, in the slight purple shadows under his eyes, in the way his mouth trembles just barely when he sees your face.
There’s a split second — just one — where you consider running. Because standing this close to him again feels like pressing on a bruise that never really healed.
But then he exhales, chest rising slow beneath his hoodie, and you know you won't run. You can't run — not from him.
Your mouth opens and closes briefly. You're not sure how to break the silence.
After you'd cut the call with a giddy smile on your face, you'd planned exactly what to say to him. But now that he's actually standing in front of you, all the words die on your tongue.
"You actually came," you eventually say. It's a stupid thing to say — you'd literally heard him as he grabbed his keys and stepped out of the house — but it's the only thing your lips can muster in the moment.
His mouth twitches, but it’s not quite a smile.
“Of course I did," he says. His voice is low and the words are laced with tiredness. “You called."
It takes everything in you not to break right there.
Your fingers curl against the doorframe. You step forward before you can talk yourself out of it — only a single step, but it’s all it takes. His hand lifts halfway from his pocket like he might reach for you, then stops.
So you reach first.
You press your palm gently against the fabric of his hoodie, right over his chest, feeling the thrum of his heart beneath your fingertips. He blinks down at you, lashes damp, breath caught.
Your hand is small against him, just a flat palm over soft cotton, but the way his chest stutters beneath your touch feels seismic.
Jungkook doesn’t speak.
He just looks at you, eyes flicking down to where your fingers rest over his heart, then back up again. The hallway light pools behind him like a spotlight, and for a second, all you can think is he’s here. He’s really here.
You don’t realise your hand has curled, fingers bunching in the fabric of his hoodie, until you feel the faint tremble in your knuckles. You’re not crying, but your eyes are hot, and there's a familiar burn growing in the back of your throat. When he finally lifts his hand and rests it gently on top of yours, the ache inside you swells.
Not because the gesture is romantic or anything, but because it's careful.
So careful, like he’s afraid too much pressure will send you backing away.
“I missed you,” he says, and his tone is quiet. Cautious, even. Like he’s testing the words on his tongue before committing to them fully.
You don’t respond at first. You just stand there, soaking in the weight of those words, letting them settle into the space between your ribs. There’s so much you want to say — I missed you too, I hated being apart, I thought about you every single day — but you’re not ready to spill that yet. You’re still trying to remember how to breathe when he looks at you like that. Like you're not just someone he loves. Like you're the only thing he’s sure of.
“I should probably let you in,” you murmur, voice tight.
Jungkook huffs something that's half a laugh and nods, stepping through the threshold with a quiet, “Thanks.”
His shoulder brushes yours as he passes, and though the touch is light, it leaves your skin burning. You shut the door behind him with a gentle click, and then it’s just the two of you. No anger or confusion in the air, no years of history clawing at the back of your throat.
Just you and him.
He looks around your apartment like he hasn’t seen it before. His eyes linger on the jacket you tossed over a chair, the slippers by the edge of your couch, the framed photo of the entire friend group that sits on your kitchen counter, frozen in time under a summer sunset.
“So,” he says, turning to face you again. “You said something about ground rules?”
You nod, arms crossing lightly over your chest. It's a defence mechanism more than anything, because if you don’t hold yourself together physically, you're afraid you might splinter into pieces just standing there.
“Yeah,” you say, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “Rules.”
He waits for you to continue and you take a breath.
“First of all — no more shutting me out. No more deciding what’s best for me without even talking to me about it.” You say it slowly, with intention, because you need him to hear you. “I’m not a puzzle to solve, Jungkook. I’m your partner. If we’re doing this again, we’re in it together. You don’t get to play martyr and walk away because you think you’re doing me a favour.”
He nods, shame flickering across his face like a shadow. “You’re right. I was an idiot.”
You don’t disagree.
“Second,” you say, stepping a tiny bit closer, “I need honesty. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. I know communication is hard sometimes— God knows it is for me— but I can’t go through that again. I need to know what you’re thinking. What you’re feeling. I don’t want to guess.”
Jungkook's voice is soft, a little hoarse. “Okay.”
You take another step. You’re close now — close enough that the scent of him hits you all at once. He still wears the same cologne, and it still makes your heart thump just a little faster.
“And third…” You hesitate, but only for a second. “You don’t get to kiss me unless you mean it. Not just because someone’s watching. Not just because it’s convenient. I need to know that when you touch me, it’s because you want to, and not just because you think you should.”
Jungkook’s mouth parts slightly. His brows knit. “I always mean it when I touch you.”
You believe him, but you needed to say it.
"So," you ask, almost shyly, “Do you still want this? Even with the rules?”
Jungkook steps forward so there’s barely any space left between you. His voice is low, but steady.
“I’ll follow every single one of them. And if you come up with more, I’ll follow those too.”
Your breath catches.
“I want you,” he continues, “however you’ll have me. And I’m sorry it took me so long to say it the right way. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you to make your own decisions. I— I'm sorry I left.”
Your eyes sting again. This time, you don’t fight it as hard.
“I’m sorry too,” you whisper. “For letting you think I didn’t love you anymore. I should’ve said something sooner.”
“You didn’t have to,” he says. “I never stopped loving you. I don’t think I ever could.”
You press your forehead against his and let your eyes flutter shut as the warmth of his skin brushes yours.
Your fingers lift slowly, reaching up to touch his jaw. His skin is soft under your palm. So so soft.
He turns into your touch like he’s starved for it, like he's needed it for far too long and didn’t know how much until right now. You let your thumb brush across his cheekbone, and a moment of stillness passes before his lips are on yours.
The kiss starts tentative, almost unsure, like you’re both trying to remember the rhythm of something that once came so easily. But then he exhales through his nose and his hand comes up to the side of your neck, and it feels like the past few weeks haven't happened at all.
Because it doesn't feel like the days you spent not speaking your mind or saying things you don't mean in the heat of the moment.
It’s years of shared beds and grocery lists. It’s every late-night laugh, every sleepy touch, every quiet I love you that still lives in the walls of this very apartment. It’s the night he held you as you cried, the morning you curled around him when he fucked up an exam, the beach sunset where you first realised you couldn’t picture a future that didn’t have him in it.
When you pull back, you don’t open your eyes. You stay there, breathing him in. Letting the closeness settle and wrap around you like it always used to.
You feel his hands move down to skim your waist, both arms wrapping around you loosely.
When you speak again, your voice is quiet. “Do you want to stay?”
It’s not a question about tonight. Not really. But he answers both.
“Yeah,” he says, like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “If you’ll let me.”
You nod and pull away, taking his hand into yours.
He follows you through the darkened hallway, your fingers laced between his. Neither of you speak, but there's a soft smile playing on both of your lips.
The bedroom light is off, but the city spills in through the half-cracked blinds, painting silver across your sheets.
You turn to face him again, and he lifts your hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to your knuckles. Then your wrist. Then the inside of it, just where your pulse beats under the skin. His lips linger there, and you swear he breathes in like he’s trying to memorise the rhythm.
You reach for the hem of his shirt.
Not urgently or desperately. You just need to feel him. All of him.
He lets you. Raises his arms and watches as you pull it over his head, the fabric falling to the floor between you.
He’s leaner than he used to be. Slightly more toned in some places, a little sharper in others. You trace the lines of him with your eyes first, then your hands. He’s always been beautiful to you, but there’s something else now. Something more vulnerable.
He lets you take your time as you relearn him.
You rest your palms against his bare chest. His skin is warm beneath your touch, and you can feel the way his heart stutters.
You kiss him again.
The way your lips move against each other is still unhurried, but laced with something heavier — a thread of longing that’s no longer restrained. You feel it in the way his hands slide over your back, and in the way he tilts his head to deepen the kiss.
He pulls you closer, aligning your bodies together.
You gasp softly when his mouth finds the curve of your neck, and suddenly it’s so clear: how much you missed this. How much you missed him.
Not just the comfort of him, but the way he touched you like he knew your body better than anyone. The way he always slowed down when you needed it. The way he never tried to take — only ever tried to give.
Jungkook pulls back to look at you.
“I love you,” he says, like it’s the most important thing he’s ever said. “And I know we’re not fixed. I know we still have a lot to figure out. But if you’ll let me — I want to try. I really want to try.”
Your throat tightens, and your voice cracks when you answer, “Me too.”
You tug him gently by the waistband of his sweats, guiding him with you as you move backward, step by step, until the edge of the bed brushes the backs of your knees.
Your back meets the mattress with a gentle thud, the cotton sheets cool beneath your skin. Jungkook follows you down, his weight suspended by one forearm beside your head, his other hand still cupping your jaw.
The city light slices across his face, casting lines of moving silver across his skin.
You reach up and brush a strand of hair away from his forehead, then let your fingers trail down, just barely tracing the curve of his cheek, the edge of his mouth, the hollow of his throat. He lets you.
He always let you.
His lips move slowly against yours gently, and you realise with a strange ache that you’ve never felt rushed with him.
Even at the beginning, when everything was new, he always made space for you.
Your fingers find the slope of his shoulders, then slip lower — down the hard lines of his back, where his muscles shift under your touch. You press your palm against the nape of his neck, anchoring him to you.
“I missed you,” he murmurs, lips pressing wet kisses along your jaw. "So much."
Something deep inside you stirs — the kind of warmth that swells and swells until it makes your whole body feel full.
“Can I take this off?” he asks, fingers ghosting along the hem of your shirt. He doesn’t tug on the fabric until you nod, and when you do, he helps you sit up a bit before slipping the top over your head in one smooth motion.
His eyes dance across the expanse of your bare skin, which prickles under his gaze. He leans in to kiss your shoulder, then lower, just above your collarbone. Then just below.
Each press of his lips is slow and warm.
When his hand finally spans across your ribcage, fingers spreading wide, his touch is feather-light — almost too light — like he’s scared to bruise something delicate. But you’re not fragile. Not with him.
You slide your hands down his sides, thumbs brushing the waistband of his sweats.
He kisses the centre of your chest — open-mouthed, breath fanning warm across your skin — and for the first time in weeks, maybe months, you feel wholly wanted. Not in a performative way. Not like you’re being consumed.
But cherished.
Worshipped, almost.
Jungkook shifts to press kisses to your jaw, then your cheek, and finally your mouth again. His tongue slides gently against yours, and you sigh into it, tilting your head for more. His hand finds your hip, and you arch into him without thinking.
You can feel him now — hard, yet tentative, still holding himself back.
But you don’t want him to hold back.
You whisper his name against his mouth, barely audible.
He breathes, “Yeah?”
Your hands slip beneath the waistband of his sweats — just a little — just enough to make your meaning clear. He tenses for half a second, like he’s making sure this is still okay.
You look him in the eyes.
He exhales shakily, the sound catching at the back of his throat. Then he kisses you again — slower this time, like he’s savouring the feel of your mouth beneath his, letting it pull him under.
His hand slides up your waist, over your ribs, and he pauses just beneath your chest. You feel the way his fingers tremble, and it makes something in your throat go tight.
"Please, Koo," you breathe out.
He leans in, mouth pressing to the top of your breast before his lips trail across the curve of it. Each kiss feels deliberate, his breath warm, his voice even warmer when he murmurs against your skin, “So pretty.”
You shiver.
He doesn’t stop.
“So, so pretty,” he whispers again, like the words are meant for him more than you.
Your hands bury in his hair as his lips drag lower, brushing over the centre of your chest before he lifts himself just enough to look at you — really look at you.
His eyes search your face like he’s trying to commit every detail to memory. Like he knows this doesn’t erase the pain or the time you lost, but it means something.
“I love you,” he says again. The three words sound like a prayer falling from his lips — something he'd whisper against your skin because it's the only truth that matters right now.
You whisper it back without hesitation. “I love you too.”
He dips his head and kisses just beneath your breast, lips brushing across the tender skin there, the press so soft it borders on worship. His hand holds your waist steady, thumb stroking over your side with the kind of care that makes you melt a little deeper into the sheets.
Your body arches instinctively, chasing more of him.
He groans softly at the movement — like the feel of you against him might actually undo him.
“You don’t know how much I missed this,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “You have no idea.”
“I do,” you breathe. “I missed it too. Missed you.”
He leans in to kiss you again, and it's messier this time. You moan into him, and his hand slips down to your thigh, then back up again.
You guide him as your legs part slightly, wrapping loosely around his hips. He doesn’t push forward, doesn’t grind down. Just settles into the space you give him, chest pressing against yours, nose brushing your cheek, lips brushing whatever skin they can find.
His voice is nothing but breath as he speaks. “You’re perfect.”
You shake your head, the faint shade of embarrassment from how tender he's being painting your cheeks. But he lifts himself slightly, meets your gaze.
“I mean it.”
His hands skim down your thighs now, calloused fingertips dragging slowly along your skin. He presses a wet, open-mouther kiss to your stomach and whispers again, “Perfect.”
His mouth trails down and lingers just above your navel, lips parting slightly against your skin. You feel the way his breath stutters as he exhales there, chest brushing your inner thigh, and your hands instinctively tangle deeper in his hair.
Jungkook shifts lower, tracing a line of kisses along your hipbone, then across to the other side. Every movement is slow, and you'd be complaining if it didn't feel so good. It's as if he wants to stretch this out as long as he possibly can.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear. “I hope you know that.”
And god, you're not sure how to feel when he says it like he truly believes it. Like he's not trying to convince of anything, only reminding you of something you forgot, and the feeling that embraces you is so overwhelming that you can feel that burn in the back of your throat again.
The first press of his mouth against you steals the air from your lungs. He groans quietly against you, like he’s been starved and finally, finally gets to taste something he missed more than he let himself admit. His hands stay steady on your thighs, fingers splayed, thumbs brushing small circles into your skin.
You suck in a breath, eyes fluttering shut as your hips tilt toward him, and he follows to adjust without hesitation, because he remembers exactly how to move with you. How to listen, not just to your words but to you as a whole. The way your body tightens under his mouth. The way you sigh when he slows down, and shiver when he picks it back up again.
You thread your fingers tighter through his hair, breathing his name when his tongue flicks just right, and he hums against you, sending low vibrations of pleasure coursing through you.
"Just like that," he murmurs, barely audible between kisses. “You’re doing so good for me.”
The tension builds, curling in your lower stomach, spreading heat through your limbs. Your breaths come faster and more shallow, hips twitching toward him without meaning to. Jungkook places his hands firmly on your thighs, anchoring you in place, giving you something to push against.
Your orgasm hits you as a sharp inhale and a soft, broken moan slipping past your lips. Your back arches off the mattress, thighs trembling, and your hand laces with Jungkook's tightly. It rolls through you in waves, stealing your breath and scattering your thoughts.
Jungkook lets you ride out your high against his mouth, only moving away when you let out a soft whine.
As the feeling starts to ease, you sink back into the bed. Your chest rises and falls in uneven pulls of air, and your fingers stay wrapped in his.
Through the haze, you blink down at him, a soft smile curling at the corners of your lips.
Jungkook looks up at you through his lashes, and the sight alone makes your breath hitch.
He presses one last kiss to the inside of your thigh before shifting up, his hands gliding over your waist as he makes his way back to you. The sheets rustle quietly beneath his weight, and when he leans in, you meet him halfway.
The kiss is messy, a little dizzying, and you taste yourself on his tongue. It makes your cheeks flush, but you don’t pull away. You only press closer, sighing into his mouth, your fingers sliding up the back of his neck to keep him there a moment longer.
When you finally break apart, your nose brushes his, and you can still feel his breath against your lips.
“I need you, Kook,” you whisper.
He lets out a low sound at the tone of your voice.
You let your fingers drift down his skin until they reach the waistband of his sweats. You tug gently, and he shifts up to help you, pushing them down, then off completely.
You rise slightly, tugging him back toward you, your mouths meeting again in a kiss that’s so so soft. Your legs part again, wrapping around his waist with ease, and this time, you feel him settle fully between them.
His hands cradle your hips, thumbs stroking over the sensitive dip there. Your hands cup his face as your mouths press together over and over, and every kiss is more desperate than the last. You can feel just how much he wants you in the way he kisses you. Like he’s making up for all the ways he held back before.
When he finally rocks his hips forward, just enough to feel the drag of you against him, your breath catches in your throat.
You arch into him, chasing more of that friction, and your body trembles with the anticipation of it.
“Are you sure?” he breathes, voice already wrecked from the feeling of you against him.
“Yeah, I'm sure,” you say, holding his gaze. “Never been more sure about something.”
He exhales, a small smile playing on his lips before leaning in to kiss you again, and there's so much love behind it that you could drown.
His kiss swallows your answer like he’s tucking it away somewhere inside himself. His hands press more firmly to your body now, mapping the curve of your waist and the dip of your spine.
He leans his forehead against yours, nose brushing gently along your cheek. “I dreamed about this,” he admits. “Almost every night. Not just the way you feel, but this. Being close. Being yours again.”
Your heart clenches, pulled taut with the weight of his honesty. You tilt your head just enough to kiss his jaw, then again at the corner of his mouth.
“You've always been mine,” you whisper, with a small breath of laughter. And it feels good to say the words out loud and finally allow them to rest in the air between you.
The last thread of hesitation slips loose as he finally pushes in, giving you every second to feel him stretch into you and open around him. Your lips part in a quiet gasp, and his brow furrows instantly, like the sound physically affects him.
“Fuck,” he says. “You’re—”
He cuts himself off with a groan, kissing you again, almost like he needs to because it’s the only way to hold himself together as he bottoms out.
Your fingers clutch at his back, nails dragging faint lines across his skin as you adjust to the fullness of him, and the sound he makes in response — a broken, breathless moan pressed into the skin of your shoulder — has you clenching around him.
He doesn’t move at first. He just stays there, buried in you, letting the moment settle.
You cradle his face again, lips brushing his temple.
“Please,” you whimper, and it's all it takes for him to give in.
Every thrust is slow but deep. His hips roll with aching precision, drawing soft sounds from your throat with each dragging press, and he swallows every one of them like he’s starving for them.
“Perfect,” he murmurs, barely audible. “You’re perfect, you always— fuck— always were.”
Your hand finds the back of his neck again, pulling him closer, and he drops his forehead to yours, your bodies rocking together.
There's barely any moments where his lips aren't on your skin. He kisses your cheek, your jaw, your neck, everywhere.
“Look at me,” he says, voice breaking.
You do, and you watch as he falls apart a little right there under your gaze.
He looks at you like he's witnessing the very thing that hold the stars in place, that if he stares long enough, he might finally understand how the universe works. There’s something raw in his gaze — a mix of awe, relief, and maybe a little disbelief — like he can’t quite believe you’re here, touching him and choosing him all over again.
His movements falter, just slightly — a soft tremble in his thighs, a caught breath in his chest — and his hand finds yours on the sheets, fingers interlacing without hesitation. He squeezes once, and you squeeze back.
He leans down and kisses you, and it's the type that lingers and settles into your bones. You tilt your chin to meet it, breath catching as he rolls his hips again, a little deeper this time.
You whimper into his mouth.
“You’re so good,” he breathes. “You feel so good, angel.”
Goosebumps arise across your skin at the nickname.
His free hand roams across you, fingertips ghosting along your skin like he’s sketching the outline of everything he lost. It rises to cup your jaw, thumb stroking the corner of your mouth.
Your lips part again, a quiet moan catching between his fingers.
“That’s it… that’s my girl.”
Fuck, how you've missed this. Missed him like this. Not just the way he touches you, but the way he loves you out loud, with everything he has and with every inch of himself.
His pace deepens again, rhythm rocking you into the mattress with each pass of his hips. Your body starts to tighten around him, tension winding low in your stomach — a slow, blooming pleasure that spreads with every stroke and every broken whisper of your name.
His nose brushes yours. “You close?”
You nod, unable to find words.
He slides his hand between you, fingers finding the spot that’s always made you fall apart the fastest. He moves his fingers against your core, and your legs shake around his waist, hips rolling up into his.
“Let go,” he whispers. “I’ve got you. I’m right here. Just let go for me.”
You do.
The wave breaks over you, your body trembling under his as your release pulls a cry from your throat. His name is the only thing that falls from your lips as pleasure courses through you.
He follows you just moments later, hips stuttering as he buries himself one last time, spilling into you with a quiet, ragged moan.
Your name leaves his lips over and over again, like a prayer.
Your name, and I love you, like it's the four words he knows how to say.
You feel his weight settle just a little more on top of you, the tension in his arms easing as his body finally lets go.
Eventually, his voice quietens as he comes down from his high, and a comfortable silence fills the room.
You run your fingers slowly through his hair, the damp strands sticking slightly to your palm, and his breath fans warm against your collarbone.
He exhales shakily, the tension in his body starting to soften as he presses one more kiss to your skin. It's nothing more than a brush of lips, but it makes your chest ache all the same.
He shifts slightly, kissing your shoulder again before slipping out of you slowly, like the thought of putting even an inch of space between you stings. You exhale at the loss, but before the air has even left your lungs, he’s pulling you into him, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing your chest to his like he needs to feel every part of you still there.
His hand finds your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin gently.
Then, a breath hitches in his chest, too sharp to be from exertion. His hand loosens against your cheek, fingers curling into a soft fist near your jaw.
You whisper, “Kook?”
He tries to answer, but it catches in his throat. Instead, he presses his face into the side of your neck, and you can feel it fully now — the way his body begins to tremble, the tears he tries but fails to hide.
“Hey,” you breathe, hands moving up to cradle his face. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
But he shakes his head against you, arms coming around your waist like he needs to hold you closer to survive it.
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice wrecked and a bit uneven. “Fuck— I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, no. Jungkook—” You kiss the crown of his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I promise you, we’re okay now.”
He lifts his head just enough to meet your eyes, and the sight guts you.
His cheeks are damp. His lashes clumped. His mouth trembling with something he can’t bite down.
“I almost lost you,” he whispers. “I thought I could live with it— that maybe it was what you needed— but I couldn’t. Fuck— I really couldn't.”
You press your forehead to his again, tears pricking your own eyes now, but you blink them back.
“I was right here,” you say softly. “Even when I wasn’t. I was still yours.”
He swallows hard, his thumb brushing a faint streak of dampness from your cheek. “I didn’t know if I’d ever get this again. Not just the sex— this. You. Your voice. Your touch. Your arms around me. I missed you so fucking much it hurt to breathe.”
Your hands find his face, thumbs brushing over the wet lines beneath his eyes.
“I missed you too,” you say. “Every single day.”
His mouth finds yours again, the pressure featherlight.
When he finally pulls back, it’s only far enough to press soft kisses to your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your jaw, as if he’s trying to soothe you and himself at the same time.
Eventually, you feel his hands trace your sides, lingering at your waist before he lifts them reluctantly, as though a part of him still isn’t ready to let go.
He leans in once more, pressing a kiss to your collarbone, and then another to your shoulder before slipping out of bed with a quiet rustle of sheets. He slips on his sweatpants again and disappears long enough to get a towel and a bottle of water.
He helps you clean up gently, and when you're finally able to just curl into him beneath the sheets, legs tangled, arms wound around his torso, he tucks your head beneath his chin with a content sigh.
“I love you,” he whispers again, voice small in the dark.
You press a kiss to his collarbone. “I love you more.”
He smiles — you can feel it against your forehead — and pulls you impossibly closer.
You fall asleep like that — tangled up in everything you never thought you’d get to feel again.
Morning doesn’t rush you.
The world outside the window begins to stir, but inside these four walls, time moves different. It stretches and breathes. Jungkook shifts beside you with a sleepy sigh, and you feel it again — that quiet swell in your chest.
The day eventually pulls you out of bed. You make coffee in his hoodie. He watches you move around the kitchen like it’s the most captivating thing he’s ever seen. You both laugh when he accidentally adds salt instead of sugar, and neither of you care that the pancakes burn slightly because you’re too busy kissing over the stove.
You spend the day close.
Brushing shoulders when you pass in the hallway. Sharing a blanket on the couch. Washing dishes together with music playing low in the background. At one point, he comes up behind you while you’re towel-drying a mug, wraps his arms around your waist, and presses a kiss to the side of your neck like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Because it is. It always was.
You don’t talk about the weeks apart because you don’t need to. It’s all still there, woven into the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention, or the way you catch yourself touching his wrist just to make sure he’s real.
When night falls again, you fall asleep with the window cracked open, the breeze lifting the curtains, his heartbeat steady under your ear.
And when you wake to find his hand still tangled in yours, you don’t think about what comes next.
You’ll talk more, and keep talking. You’ll argue sometimes, and figure it out anyway. You’ll laugh in grocery store aisles and fall asleep on the couch and maybe cry again, too — but you’ll stay.
Because now, you both know what it means to leave.
And even more than that:
You know what it means to come back.
extended author’s note: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE END OF THESE TWO :<< they’ve been my babies since april and i’m so attached for no reason hdjdjs
writing the smut for this — as i briefly mentioned before — was such a love hate experience. i literally didn’t know how to go about it, but it ended up being really dramatic (i’ve been reading classics lately and you can tell with the writing LMAO) but i think it ended up okay. it’s not as explicit as what i usually write but i do think it fits these two better. but yeah, pls don’t be mad at me for it not being as detailed as other stuff i’ve written 😖
i am planning on writing a little epilogue (hint: proposal) but it’ll be a while before it’s out cuz i’ve bitten off a lot more than i can chew so i just need to focus on other projects for a bit. also (i’m gonna make a proper post explaining all this) but i’m gonna try and have a good few works pre-written so that when i start classes again in september and get extremely busy, you guys still have something to read. life does get hectic though so i have no idea how things are gonna go, but we stay optimistic :)
a little special thanks to my angel, j @tranquilreign, because i swear to you, half of this series wouldn’t have existed without her. she’s helped me so so much with scenes and ideas for the plots and has listened to me yap endlessly about this. i also wanna thank isa @page-isa, who has even had to suffer with me talking about this couple irl while we hang out 😟. she also beta read this chapter while i spiralled about it :)) i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without you both and i love you soo much <3
and of course, i want to thank each and every one of you reading this right now. words cannot describe how much i love you guys, like my heart is genuinely going to burst. this series has received so much more love than i expected, and i’m so so sooo grateful for each ask i receive and every comment and pieces of feedback you guys leave. it all means the entire world to me, and i hope that i can continue to write things you guys enjoy. i fucking adore you so much, please never forget that. MWAHHH <333
Genre/Tags: friends au, vacation au, slow burn, romcom-ish vibe; adulting; inspired by AYS; PE teacher!JK and researcher!OC; fluff, comfort, smut
Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; semi-explicit smut that's not too smutty (m&f oral, condom talk, unprotected sex) (18+)
Word count: 21.4k
Series Masterlist
Status: Complete
Series Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a decade. And while he’s the charming and dependable, often reserved boy-next-door, he’s also just been a friend - a constant in your life, a part of a whole, and someone who’s seen all the flawed and probably unattractive sides of you.
A resumption of your friend group’s out-of-town trips has caused you to spend more time with him. And somewhere in between the morning coffee in the forest, running around in the snow, and watching the sunset on a boat, he’s become something more. And you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.
🎶: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney || Yes or No by Jungkook
A/N: Wrapping up this feel-good series! I'd hoped to gush about these episodes with you guys weekly but it is what it is, and I'm just happy for the people who tuned in and have and will enjoy this. I hope this story and these characters gave you a bit of joy.
Your eyes dart to the time on your laptop screen.
2:52 PM.
Jungkook will be arriving at your apartment soon for your scheduled 3PM drive to Busan but your meeting with your manager doesn’t seem like it’ll end in the next eight minutes.
It’s Friday, and though you’re glad that she allowed you to adjust your hours today, you also wish she’d stick to the agenda and not add items to it because now, she’s briefing you about a new research proposal when you should just be talking about the one you’re currently working on.
“Yes, I’ll read more about that. So the one that’s due next week…” you say, trying to bring the conversation back to its original purpose. “I worked on the budget with the procurement team with regards to the service provider fees. Do you have any comments about it?”
She asks if they’ve been vetted and you answer that you did your due diligence and that the quotes and sample works are in the attachment you sent her. You’re discussing the other line items when Jungkook opens the door - having already memorized your lock code - and you gesture to him that you’re still on a call.
He gives a thumbs up to say it’s okay, and he gestures to the clothes he’s holding to say that he’ll just change while waiting for you to finish. You nod in response, expecting he’d head to your bathroom, only for him to strip in the middle of your living room, as you can see from your periphery.
You hold in your surprised look and curse him internally for teasing you like this.
But not wanting to miss out on the view, you move your laptop towards the right and adjust your seat so you can have a good look at him. You’re met with a muted incredulous laugh followed by a cheeky smile, as he now stands several feet from you in just his black Calvin Klein underwear.
It’s a shame you’re not close enough to admire every detail of him looking like that, but you have the rest of the weekend to do so. The thought of what the next three days will bring sends chills down your spine.
Your eyes alternate from the screen to your boyfriend, who’s now replaced his running shorts and sports jacket with black trousers, a loose-fit white tank top, and a blue cardigan. You bite your lip to hold in a smile and your manager fortunately doesn’t notice.
She finally realizes that it’s past 3PM and apologizes for holding you up, especially since you started the day much earlier than usual just so you can accommodate the four-hour trip you’ll be making.
“This is great work as always, ___,” she beams. “I’ll let you go now and I’ll see you on Tuesday. Enjoy your cousin’s wedding!”
“Thank you,” you say, bidding her goodbye.
You close your laptop, officially switching off for the weekend, then frown at Jungkook as he walks over to you.
He chuckles as he bends down to kiss your lips while you remain seated. You give in as you always do, and the groan you’re about to let out is replaced with a moan when he swipes his tongue in your mouth and gently cups your cheek.
He pulls away and boops your nose before standing straight up.
“How rude of you to dress up in front of me like that,” you scowl at him.
“And how naughty of you to watch me while you’re on a call with your manager like that,” he bites back.
“You’re so annoying,” you huff, even as you hug him and immediately fall into his arms.
“Sorry, just wanted to tease,” he admits. “I know my body drives you crazy.”
You pinch his stomach and pull away.
“Were you ever this cocky?” You chuckle.
“Nah. It’s a trait I developed just in the last two months. It’s all your fault since you react the way you do,” he smirks. “But don’t worry, we’ve got this weekend.”
“We do,” you say, biting your lip at the anticipation of what’s in store.
Of course, there’s Seokjin and Hayoung’s wedding tomorrow afternoon in Busan and the intimate yacht party right after. There’s also seeing Taehyung who flew back for a few days for the celebration. There’s the luxury hotel with all its fancy amenities that you’ll definitely take advantage of. There’s seeing both your families and meeting them as a couple this time. And then there’s staying over at Jungkook’s house on Sunday. There’s lots to look forward to and you can’t wait to get started.
“So… am I gonna see you dress up, too?” Jungkook smiles.
“Sucks for you, I’m already wearing this,” you shrug, saying you’d planned on leaving right as he arrived but your meeting extended you so now you really should get going.
He whines only a little then follows you as you walk towards your luggage.
“Do you have everything packed already? Dress, the right underwear, heels, makeup, evening bag?” He asks, making sure you didn’t forget anything or else it’ll ruin your weekend.
“Yup, I’ve got— oh shit, my bathing suits!”
You scurry to your closet and get a few pairs, knowing that Jungkook would want to swim as much as he can. And while you could watch him for hours, joining him wouldn’t be bad.
“Can’t forget those,” he hums.
Once you’ve got everything packed, you turn towards him to signal that you’re ready, and he heads out your door with you right behind him.
Going on a long drive alone with Jungkook is not a rare thing; it’s something you’ve done a few times just this past year. And so there’s this familiarity you feel - there’s talking about your day, a lot of teasing, smacking his chest, video calling with your friends, and sipping iced coffee and feeding each other the cookies you bought at a drive-thru.
But there are new things, too, like holding his hand and placing it on your thigh for him to caress. There’s shamelessly ogling him and telling him how handsome he looks in his outfit and him admitting that he wears the tank top because of how much you like it. There’s kissing him when you’re at the stoplight, and him suggesting driving to an emergency stop so he could kiss you back properly.
And then there’s talking about other couple things, like meeting your respective parents as each other’s partners this time.
You’ve met each other’s families several times before so it’s nothing new. Your parents know him as the athlete and the teacher and the one you describe as everyone’s go-to person. You’re known to his parents by your profession, too, as well as being the clumsy girl who freaks out when holding a knife and often hurts herself.
“Kook, they probably think I’m useless,” you pout.
“They also know you as the other smart friend,” he says. “They remember that you got an award during graduation. That’s not being useless, babe.”
“Yeah but I mean, you know, domestic stuff,” you say softly. “All I know to do is wash dishes. That’s the only thing I can do when I stay over on Sunday.”
Jungkook understands what you mean and immediately appeases you.
“They’re not of that traditional mindset so you don’t have to worry. My mom’s cooking isn’t the best, too,” he laughs. “My parents just taught me and my brother how to be independent and then we could look out for those who—”
“Are helpless?”
“Who need a bit more help,” he corrects you. “You’re not even that bad. You know how to feed yourself.”
“Yeah, very basic food that only requires less than five steps to make. Or anything I can cook in the air fryer,” you laugh at yourself mockingly. “I don’t know how to make things fancy or delicious like you.”
“Well, basic things help you survive so that doesn’t make you helpless. Plus, you now have a boyfriend who makes the fancy and delicious food for you,” he winks. “Makes it difficult for you to let go of me, yeah?”
“Hey, I like you either way,” you pout at him. “Though I admit that the cooking skills definitely help.”
“Good. I’ll just keep making delicious things for you, then,” he smiles.
“You are good at taking care of me,” you nod. “I don’t really know what I—”
“You listen to me,” he interjects before you say what he thinks you’re gonna say, which is that you don’t take care of him the way he does with you.
He could already sense your faraway eyes and knew that your mind would travel elsewhere again, and to places he doesn’t want it to go to. He hopes you never doubt yourself in your relationship because there’s really so much that you do for him, and he’s worried that he doesn’t tell you enough.
“You listen to my worries. You create a space for me to talk about them,” he continues. “And you give good advice. That’s taking care of someone, too, you know? Because if my mind’s a mess, how would I function?”
“That’s true,” you finally smile.
It takes you back to last Saturday and how you both spent the day at your apartment because he didn’t feel like doing much. He talked about an issue he had with a senior teacher and some other concerns about his students. You just listened to him and shared your thoughts while he laid on your lap, and he told you the next day that he felt better.
Safety, friendship, and intimacy are needs after all, and you suppose they’re what you’re able to give him.
“I told my parents that I’ve been confiding in you and that it’s been easier to do that since we got together,” he adds, wanting to make sure you don’t feel unworthy when meeting them again. “And they know you watch my students’ matches and they think that’s really sweet.”
“Well, I don’t feel that worried meeting them as your girlfriend anymore,” you giggle, appreciating what he’s doing.
He’s just always known how you are and how to calm your mind.
“You shouldn’t. They already like you,” he smiles.
“And my parents already like you, too,” you say. “I’ve told them how you give me massages and piggyback rides and how you cook for me. I mean, not like they have anyone to compare it to but… I guess that says a lot, too, doesn’t it?”
“So does that mean they’ve never met your exes?”
“Just over video call but that doesn’t really count,” you shrug. “There wasn’t really time to see them and I was a bit shy. I’m so babied in my family and they’re also a bit chaotic and I wasn’t ready for my exes to deal with all that.”
“Well, you kinda have no choice but to introduce me now because of the wedding.”
“True. I still would’ve though. But I’m also really excited,” you say as you caress his hand. “They’ll see that I got someone really good.”
“You think they’d expected Tae or Jimin as the friend you’d end up with and not me? They like the guys a lot,” he remarks, remembering your calls to your parents in the past and how they lovingly greeted your friends.
“Not really. They’re just more familiar with those two,” you explain. “When they’d call me during college and I was crying out of stress, Tae or Jimin would be with me so they knew how much the guys took care of me then.”
“Yeah, and I wasn’t there,” Jungkook says regrettably.
“Because you were stressed, too! Just like Mo-eum because you both took difficult courses,” you reason. “You know I’ll always be thankful for how our relationship happened, right? And that includes our friendship. We were there for each other whenever we could.”
“I know,” he sighs. “I just… don’t want them to wish it was someone else with you since you’ve got other good guys around you.”
“Well, I’m with you. I don’t think I can have anyone better,” you smile.
You lean over for a kiss on his cheek and this appeases him.
You’ve already been on a call with your family a few times since you started dating Jungkook, which is about two months ago. It may seem too soon but you don’t recall feeling this kind of joy and desire before.
Maybe because you let yourself settle into it first for those first few weeks and when you found out he reciprocated your feelings, it was just that natural for the emotions to intensify again.
Your parents already like him. They think that being a teacher requires a kind of dedication and patience that you need in your life, and you know they’re right.
But that’s just one part of him. Outside of what he does, he’s kind and tender-hearted and enjoys what life has to offer. It hasn’t been long but you’re already experiencing more of those sides of him as well.
You’re looking forward to seeing them see you with him; you’re certain they’ll see how different it is this time, too.
You get through the four-hour ride with more laughter and stories. There’s silence in between those, too, and neither you nor Jungkook minds. Your voices are just replaced with soft touches and tender smiles and those are enough just the same.
You finally arrive in the hotel in Busan and make your way to reception to check-in. You meet Jimin and Mo-eum there who have just arrived, and you all leave your things at the concierge so you can proceed to the restaurant for the pre-wedding dinner.
You head to the table where all your friends are and excitedly greet them, hugging Taehyung tightly as you miss him terribly already.
It’s like you’ve all been spoiled this past year. Jeju wasn’t too long ago and now you're out of town again. It’s different this time because of the purpose of your trip and the fact that you’ll be experiencing luxury this weekend, a far cry from the outdoors and homey vibes of the previous months.
You get to relax and feel regal, enjoy the amenities, eat fancy food, and savor the view of the ocean from your bedroom. You almost wish you could afford to stay an extra day or so but staying at Jungkook’s family home is definitely the better choice.
While waiting for Seokjin and Hayoung, you take the time to greet the other guests who made it tonight. Your and Jungkook’s families will be arriving tomorrow before the ceremony so you take him with you when you greet your cousin’s parents. Having known your friend group for years, they tell you how happy they are that you ended up with one of them, too, just like their daughter.
You return to your seats and enjoy dinner with your friends. The food boasts of familiar flavors presented in new and delicate ways. You have fun with how you eat them and join Jungkook in raving about how delicious it is. You drink champagne and inhale the dessert that when it’s all over, you feel full and satisfied.
“So, jacuzzi in half an hour?” Jimin pitches to the group.
Taehyung had booked the hot tub for after hours, and the five of you got excited at having the space all to yourselves. The rest of your friends agree to join. Even if they won’t be dipping, they won’t pass up on drinks with a view tonight. It’s literally Seokjin’s and Hayoung’s last hurrah with all of you so they say they’ll follow later on.
As is the tradition, you book a suite to house the five of you. This time, however, it’s pretty clear who’s sleeping with who.
You and Jungkook enter the room with the queen-sized bed and you turn to him excitedly. He picks up the hint of desire in your eyes and he pulls you in, his hands on your waist now as he admires how you look in your floral dress.
“What are you thinking tonight, huh?” He smirks.
“Hmm, nothing… Just a big comfy bed, a nice shower, a stunning view… A few things we could enjoy,” you say, playing it coolly.
“Yes… if you’re awake,” he teases.
“Hey,” you smack his chest.
“I’m kidding,” he laughs, kissing your cheek. “I’m just saying that I know you’re tired from today. If you fall asleep early, that’s okay. You should get rest because we have a full day tomorrow.”
“I know. I’m actually already sleepy,” you laugh. “But I want to take advantage of this fancy room with you.”
“We will,” he smiles. “Come on, let’s get changed.”
You both put on your swimsuits and head out to the common room. It’s spacious and boasts of a floor-to-ceiling glass window that lets you see the still ocean and city lights from outside. The five of you take a shot of tequila that Jimin brought with him then bring that to the jacuzzi room several floors above.
It’s not the best weather for a hot tub. It’s warm as it normally is for the middle of summer. But there’s something about being in a private area on the 20th floor of a fancy hotel with bottles of champagne and whiskey and plates of food that makes it perfect for tonight. There’s soft music playing and given the size of the tub, everyone decides to join in. Even Yoongi.
From the hot water, to the jets on your legs and back, and to Jungkook massaging your neck and shoulders, you feel totally relaxed. There’s laughter all around, even more when you all rehash memories of Seokjin and Hayoung over the years.
There’s commentary from all your ends, too, especially from the older ones who’d witnessed their relationship up close. The couple shares their favorite moments from the past six years, too, like when they first said I love you and how they made up after their first big fight.
It reminds you that there’s still a lot to learn even when you’re already in a relationship. It’s something Hayoung has talked to you about, as someone who understands what you’re experiencing. It may seem all good and easy because you think you know the other person so well already after being friends for many years but romantic relationships bring their own challenges; no couple is immune from those.
But like she said, it’s the strong friendship she has with Seokjin that allowed them to get through them. It’s a good foundation, she told you. Being able to just talk about things openly, being comfortable and honest, and trusting that they want the best for each other have become natural, and those have been their keys to making it work.
They’re good advice, as you think that you and Jungkook are still in the honeymoon stage. One day, you know the hardships will come. Maybe you’ll have to readjust to each other all over again or witness the births of new versions of yourselves, just like he’d told you before.
But deep inside, they’re challenges you welcome because you know they’ll make you better together and you truly want to make this work, a change that you took note of early on. Plus, you genuinely like Jungkook - not just as your boyfriend or your friend but as a person. You truly admire and think the world of him, so whatever you’ll face, you’d willingly go through them with him, as long as you get to keep him around.
You don’t think you’d do that just with anybody.
“You okay, babe?” He nudges your shoulder as he notices you gaze at him again.
“Yes. Just thinking about how much I like you,” you smile at him.
Jungkook smiles back, as he’s already used to you being like this just two months in. He’s usually a lot more reserved and moderated when it comes to expressing his feelings, as he tends to just feel them, whereas you’re more vocal about yours.
There have been days when he’d see you stressed or frustrated at work but you’d sit on his lap, hug him, and tell him that having him next to you already makes you feel better. There’s this vulnerability in your honesty, and it’s something he’s witnessing up close.
While you’ve told him you admire him for just doing whatever he wants, he thinks you’re just as admirable for feeling whatever you want and there’s so much strength in that. He realizes he might not tell you this enough.
“She’s so cheesy, isn’t she?” Jimin’s voice cuts through his thoughts, as the man - who’d heard your little exchange - approaches both of you.
“She is,” Jungkook hums as he pulls you between his legs and wraps his arms around you. “It’s pretty cute. Was she always like this?”
“Nah. Not in front of us, at least,” Jimin shakes his head. “I guess it makes sense because we weren’t the biggest fans of her exes.”
You laugh at the dig, which you don’t mind; Taehyung and Jimin have valid reasons.
“Hmm, I don’t think I was this cheesy,” you confirm. “I think I’m like this because Jungkook and I have had conversations before, hoping that the other person would find someone good for them to be with and look, it’s us!”
It’s quite serendipitous in its own way, you think.
The three of you giggle and Jungkook tightens his hold around you.
“I’m glad it was you,” he whispers in your ear, prompting you to lean against his chest at the feeling of floating because of his words.
“He’s so affectionate, too, huh?” Jimin smirks now.
“Oh, he is,” you giggle again, as you think back to how tightly he hugs you when you sleep and how he likes to pull you back to him when you wake up. “Has he always been like this?”
You’ve obviously seen Jungkook with his girlfriends and you don’t recall him being this touchy. You wonder if he’s like that even if he’s just with the guys.
“Not at all, not even with his girlfriend in high school or the one during the summer before college started,” Jimin laughs. “I know he’s clingy behind closed doors though. At least that’s what he says.”
“Oh, he is,” you exclaim, earning you a cheeky laugh from the man in front of you.
The man behind you groans though, but now he wraps his legs around you, too. You feel the giddiness at knowing he doesn’t want to hold back when it comes to his affection towards you.
Jimin watches his two best friends with such tenderness. He has a different relationship with both of you - he’s gentle with Jungkook whereas he gives you tough love.
But he knows sincerity when he sees it, and after seeing both of you go through your respective relationships, Jimin can tell that it’s very different this time. You’re both more in control over your feelings even if you don’t hold them back. Perhaps it’s the maturity at this stage in your lives or maybe, it’s really just about finding and choosing to be the right person for each other.
Your best friend’s eyes glimmer and you see the smile behind them. And cheeky as he may be sometimes, you’re glad he made that comment to you months ago that got you paying attention to your feelings and that ultimately got you Jungkook.
The night goes on with a few more drinks and laughter with your friends. Whenever you and Jungkook separate, there’s always a moment where your eyes meet and you share a smile. There’s that assurance even until now, reminding you of this past year and how you’d be apart and somehow you’d find him looking out for you.
You end before midnight and head to your respective rooms. You and Jungkook take turns washing up in the bathroom and staying in the common area with your friends. With a bit to drink and a long day tomorrow, you all decide to head to bed.
“Goodnight!” Jimin calls out to you. “Don’t break the lamp or something.”
You stick your tongue at him before entering your room. Jungkook pulls you by the waist. He flushes you against his chest and tucks his head in your neck.
“It’s a fair comment, though,” he hums, referring to what Jimin had said. “I mean, you did break my humidifier.”
“Yah!” You smack his arm that’s wrapped around you. “I didn’t break it. It fell.”
“Sure, babe,” he giggles. “It totally fell out of nowhere when it was sitting right in the middle of my bedside table.”
You groan in agreement, conceding now because that may have been what actually happened. It was two weeks ago and Jungkook was yapping about it the next morning while you were on a call with your friends and they pieced things together. They’ve been teasing you ever since.
“Uh, you were the one shoving your frikkin dick inside me!” You defend, turning around now to face him.
“Uh, you were the one telling me not to stop,” he counters.
“You’re annoying when you’re cocky,” you frown at him. “No kisses for you.”
“Hey! I’m just stating facts,” he laughs.
But you pull away from his hold to tease and lay on your side of the bed. The soft sheets and thick covers instantly make you feel like you’re being swallowed by clouds; you could fall asleep any minute.
“K,” you hum under your breath, your eyes fluttering close.
“Are you sleeping on me?” He gasps.
“The bed feels so good, Kook,” you moan as you stretch your limbs. “I’m gonna fall asleep soon so get your ass in bed now.”
“So impatient,” he bites back with a smile.
He removes his shirt then switches off the lamp. Your eyes follow him when he does, and you’re thankful for the sliver of light from outside that allows you to appreciate his body. You’d done that during your time at the hot tub earlier and you think you’ll keep doing that; your reaction will probably be the same every time, too.
He finally lies in bed but you’re the one who sits up now. You take your shirt off, something he’s used to you doing by now, and he returns the fond way you’re looking at him.
Even when he’s annoyingly cheeky, his body pretty much shuts you up, and he knows this. Your body does the same to him. You laugh in unison because both of you have come to know each other like that.
You bend down to kiss him, not at all able to resist. It’s soft and gentle, as the exhaustion from today continues to weigh you down. But even then, his tongue explores deeper, and you’re hypnotized by the way it does that your body moves on its own.
You’re on top of him before you know it - your legs on his sides, your one hand softly pulling his hair and the other, grazing his bare chest. And your clothed cunt, rhythmically grinding against his slowly hardening member. His fingers trace patterns on your back, leaving you moaning in his ear.
And also yawning. You think it’s out of pleasure though.
Jungkook chuckles as you pull away, hovering over him with your dazed eyes. You yawn another time, and your face tenses as you try to hold it in. He can tell there’s more you want to do but he also knows you’re very, very sleepy.
“Hey, go to sleep now,” he whispers.
“But—”
You’re interrupted by another yawn, causing him to giggle once more.
“Babe, it’s okay. I want to keep going but I’m sleepy, too,” he assures you. “We’ve had a long day and I’d rather have you awake when we swim in the morning than do anything else tonight. Yeah?”
You pout at him before nodding. You did promise him you’d swim with him in the early hours tomorrow.
He helps lay you back down and pulls the covers over you. He smiles while watching you slowly retreat into dreamland, soft hums and a small smile escaping you as his fingers continue to trace your body. He briefly cups your breast and he knows you like it. You’ve told him a few times that the drawn out pleasure helps you fall asleep and this is one way he does it without tiring you out further.
He presses soft kisses down your jaw then your neck and your body reacts again. You caress his head as he trails south, and you moan his name. He might’ve gone a bit too far so he goes back up and gives you a final kiss on the lips.
“We’ll sleep now,” he hums.
He lays on his side and pulls you close to him, your back flushed against his chest now and his leg wrapped around you. Your hand finds his and your fingers intertwine.
It’s intimate, and even with your hair all over his face, he likes this because he gets to hold you tight. It also ensures that you don’t hit anything, including his face.
He laughs at the thought. It’s something he’d gladly get used to though. And he finds that it’s easy - to adjust, to move around and alongside you, and to settle into you even more.
You wake up to soft kisses on your cheek the next morning. You moan under your breath, wanting more of those but also wishing you have more time to sleep. You knocked out once you closed your eyes last night and you feel like you didn’t move at all.
Which, of course, isn't true. When you open your eyes, you find yourself sprawled in the middle of the bed and the giver of your kisses is standing next to it, chuckling at you.
“Good morning, princess,” he greets. “Come on, let’s go swimming.”
You look at him with your sleepy eyes and hope for a bit of compassion. Perhaps five minutes more. Or 20.
And he sees right through you.
“You can sleep longer, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I can go ahead before it gets crowded. Is that okay?”
“No, I told you I’d go with you,” you mumble.
You did say you’d do this with him, especially after he let you drag him to your Pilates session last week. He decided then that he’d definitely stick to the sports he knows and that won’t get his limbs all tangled while hanging in the air. You reason that his body is just a little too fit for the machine and you may be right.
“Okay then,” he says as he changes into his swim shorts.
“Why do you have so much energy?” You ask, stretching your arms and legs around the bed now. “It’s barely 7:30.”
“I just came from a jog by the beach. The wind was really nice and cool.”
“Oh, good,” you nod, appeased that he gets to do the things he enjoys doing when he’s in his hometown.
He returns to standing next to the bed and you lift your leg for him to massage. Your legs have been a bit sore after this week’s intense Pilates workout. He starts kneading your calf and it feels so good that you could fall asleep again.
“Yah! We have to make it to breakfast at 9 before we prepare for the wedding,” he reminds you. “Come on. I’ll be wet and half naked. I know how much you like that.”
You frown at his teasing even if it’s pretty much a given at this point. But he’s started to enjoy it a little bit more after your friends exposed you to him. They shared more details of how you were during your Jeju trip, specifically about your ogling whenever he went swimming.
It flusters you even if you’re actually able to just admire his body and touch and kiss it whenever you like. Perhaps there are still remnants of disbelief over how you never bothered about it before. Years of going on beach and lake trips, watching him flex his biceps, and commenting on his abs to tease him never made you look twice nor longer than a few seconds.
Now, you can’t get enough of it.
You curl yourself in bed, urging him to convince you a bit more.
Instead of kissing you, he starts tickling your foot, causing you to squeal.
“Jeon Jungkook, you brat!” You groan as you try to kick his hand away and flail your arms while still lying in bed. “You’re gonna regret this.”
Your words don’t have bite in them, but still, he stops and pulls you towards the edge of the bed. He cups your cheeks and peppers your face with soft kisses until you’re finally smiling.
“Happy?” He cocks an eyebrow.
You giggle and nod.
“So can we go now?”
“Yes,” you playfully roll your eyes then head for the bathroom.
You change into your swimsuit then you both exit the room. Out in the common area, Jimin and Taehyung are waiting to leave, too.
“So early and already getting freaky,” your best friend smirks. “Hope you didn’t break anything.”
“He was tickling my foot!” You explain; they definitely heard you squealing.
“Ooh, he’s relentless with that,” Taehyung shakes his head as he understands your plight.
He’s been on the receiving end of that, after all.
You eye your friends who are in their active gear as well. Taehyung will do a morning workout while Jimin is dragging Mo-eum to go for a run.
“Are you sure about that?” You ask your best friend. “You know she’ll stop once she sees a plot of land to find four-leaf clovers.”
“I know, but she promised she'd match my pace,” Jimin shrugs. “She just didn’t wanna be the only one not doing anything physical today.”
“She technically won't be. I mean, I don’t think that watching your boyfriend swim counts as physical,” you hum.
“Are you sure about that?” Jimin cocks his eyebrow. “Your heart rate literally heightens just seeing him in swim shorts.”
Jungkook chuckles because he can attest to that. Sometimes you also just completely zone out.
You groan because you also agree. You turn to the man next to you with a pout.
“You’re not good for my health.”
Jungkook just laughs even harder and your friends join him. You do sound ridiculous.
But he thinks you’re the most adorable thing in the world. You already expressed concern about ogling him too much in front of his family, not wanting them to think you’re a little too much for their son, but he assured you that they’d feel proud you think so highly of their genes.
With you being shameless in front of your friends, he sees even more just how unfiltered and honest you are about your feelings towards him, and it makes him feel really good.
He pinches your cheeks, endeared by how you look at him, until Mo-eum finally exits the bedroom and you all head out then separate to do your own thing.
You and Jungkook find yourselves on the 7th floor this time to swim in the infinity pool. You stand in awe as you look at the scenery of stunning landscape against tall buildings that line the vast ocean. It’s definitely a lot more urban than Jeju but it offers a different kind of tranquility that you feel you can only get from here.
You now understand why Jungkook was insistent on swimming despite your tight schedule. It’s truly breathtaking, especially with the clear skies and cool breeze embracing you. He even passed up on sexy time last night just so you wouldn’t be too tired for an early wake up call.
He sighs in relief as he stands next to you, no doubt admiring his surroundings just as you are.
“Such perfect weather,” he hums as he removes his shirt. “I haven’t had a proper swim outdoors in so long.”
“Well, get going then,” you turn to him, eyeing him up and down while trying your best to keep your cool. “There are barely any people so you won’t be disturbed.”
“Hey, you said you’d join me,” he pouts.
“And I will, after you do your laps,” you smile, knowing that he needs to do those before doing any leisure swimming. “I’ll have a good view from the lounge chairs here. And then a closer look later on when I’m in there with you. I’ll soak up the sun first before getting in the water. It’s more refreshing that way.”
“Fine,” he sighs. “Don’t bail on me, okay?”
“I won’t, I promise,” you smile.
“And uh, try not to drool too much.”
He’s running to the one end of the pool before you could respond. But you watch him from a distance exchange words with the lifeguard on duty then turn to your direction to give you a cheeky wink before he dives in the pool.
Your annoyance at how he’s been enjoying teasing you quickly dies down once you watch him glide in the water. He’s so graceful, as he does butterfly strokes so effortlessly, his broad shoulders and taut arms doing most of the work that you can see, but you know his thighs are working overtime, too.
Your eyes follow his every move and he’s so captivating like this, especially with the sun glistening on his honeyed skin. You don’t doubt the kind of career he would’ve had if he pursued the sport. You’re sure he would’ve excelled and made it to the national team if he wanted to - he’s just that good, and it’s something that others have said about him, too.
But then again, you wouldn’t have met him if he went to a different university, and that’s a thought that terrifies you. Maybe you’d still meet him at a chance encounter if the universe willed it, but you think the way you ended up together is exactly how things should’ve happened.
He returns to where he started and half his body emerges in the water. He turns to you with a smile and a thumbs up. You return the gesture and make a show of cheering for him, earning you a chuckle.
He does a few laps of freestyle while you settle in the lounge chair. You still have a good view of him but you’re able to do so comfortably now with a little less lust and a lot more admiration.
By the time he’s doing backstrokes, you’ve moved to the stairs where you’re already in your bathing suit, ready to join him. He swims towards you and walks up the steps, your eyes now following the water that’s dripping down his torso.
“I didn’t drool,” you tell him proudly.
He playfully shakes his head and chuckles.
“Cute,” he hums.
He reaches out his hand and pulls you towards the water, and once you submerge yourself in it, you moan quietly at how refreshing it feels. You quickly swim towards the other side and lay your arms over the edge to get a better look at the view.
You sigh in relief at how beautiful it is, even more with Jungkook beside you who has a bit of sparkle in his eyes. He grew up not far from here, and he shared during the drive how his family would often head to Haeundae beach on a weekend. He’d enjoy it despite how busy it could get. This is his childhood, and you’re glad that you get to share in this moment with him.
“You know Kook, I was just thinking earlier that if you chose to do this professionally, you would’ve been such a star, skills-wise and looks-wise,” you say as you turn towards him.
“Yeah?” He cocks his eyebrow.
“Totally. And then I imagined you being part of the swim or water polo olympic team and showing up on TV with your wild abs and sweet smile and social media would explode with edits and thirst tweets about you and then you’d be invited to variety shows and be on magazines and get endorsements,” you ramble. “Imagine if you decided to pursue that now? I’d be the kind of girlfriend who’d be cheering so loudly during your matches and maybe trash talking your opponents.”
He laughs at the last sentence but he thinks you’re not wrong.
“I think you’ll be the type to have a burner account and reply to tweets criticizing me,” he hums.
“Oh, I’d do it on a burner and my personal account,” you state. “Imagine how much I could shut them up?”
“You could,” he laughs. “But they’re also either paid to do that, or are bots and aren’t real people.”
“And then I’d hire hackers to find those shits and message their parents and expose them online,” you continue, disregarding what he said. Your face distorts in anger at the thought that he’d get any hate if he really did pursue a different career path. “I mean, who in their right mind would criticize you?!”
“You’ll never know,” he shrugs. “People always find something to complain about other people they don’t know. But hey, it’s a good thing neither of us have to deal with that, right?”
“True. We live such humble and unproblematic lives away from prying eyes,” you nod. “But… have you ever thought about it? About the kind of life you would’ve lived if you decided to take swimming seriously?”
“Hmm, not really. It’s not like being part of the Olympic team was assured, anyway,” he reasons. “And it just… stopped being a dream. Once I started teaching, I was sure I wasn’t gonna regret doing it. Somehow I just knew that’s what I was meant to do, you know? Plus, it meant going to our university, meeting the friends I’d have for life, and getting together with you. I’d choose those in any lifetime.”
You smile at his words, knowing that it’s not just him being sweet or flattering you; they’re his most sincere thoughts. But you’re glad you made it to the top three things that make his current life worthwhile, knowing that he could be living a totally different one had he chosen to study somewhere else.
You think it’d still be a good one though - he’d be doing something he loves and he’d be making amazing friends since you think he just naturally attracts good people. Maybe he’d be dating someone who deserves him, too.
But this is the one he’s living now and considering how much you’re a part of it, you think it’s pretty good. It makes you think of the billion choices a person makes in their life. We never know if they’re right or wrong but we stand by them, and they make us who we are.
You wonder if you chose to join your sister in her art classes after school instead of reading your textbooks while waiting for her to finish, would you have been less studious? And would that have made you less inclined to be a researcher? Then maybe you wouldn’t be living the life you have now, and there’s a chance you wouldn’t have Jungkook in it, and—
A kiss on your lips disturbs your thoughts, and Jungkook’s soft eyes look back at you when you look at him questioningly.
“Whatever it was you were thinking, just know I’m glad I’m with you the way I am right now,” he says.
He probably already sensed your mind going elsewhere as it always does and instead of asking you where it went, he chooses to assure you about what you mean to him. And it’s exactly what you need.
You hug him in response and ease your mind back into the present with pecks on his cheek. He’s who you should be focusing on right now, so you foolishly suggest a race between you two just for fun even if you know you’re no match for him. You secretly like it when he’s a bit cocky.
Jungkook laughs but agrees to your 20-second early start. He leans his back against the edge, endeared by your movements and the fact that you’re freestyling diagonally, before he starts swimming to eventually beat you.
You feel like you’ve been at it for so long and you pause, thinking that you’re only a few meters away from the end, only to learn that you’re just past halfway, and Jungkook is already on the other side, laughing at you.
But instead of teasing even more, he urges you to keep going, cheering you on as if you’re competing at a tournament. So you do.
You keep swimming that you don’t realize you’re at the end, and you hit your head on the wall because you arrogantly chose not to wear the goggles that Jungkook advised you to use.
“Oh babe,” he chuckles as he swims towards you, and it’s now you realize that you started swimming sideways somewhere along the way.
He cradles your head in his arms before turning you to face him.
“You’re always hitting your head when you’re around me.”
You know he’s alluding to that boat incident in Jeju, something that he occasionally teases you about, especially after you gave him a lowdown of the thoughts that plagued your mind during that afternoon.
You pout at him in response to his smug face, and he scrunches his nose in endearment. Then he pulls you in a hug and kisses the top of your head that you just hit. He thinks you could’ve gone another few hundred meters, and you’re really not as out of shape the way you say you are.
The fact that you’re able to swim the entire length of this massive pool already says a lot even if you’re a bit out of breath. He knows you’re neutral about swimming - it doesn’t excite you as much but you don’t mind it.
Waking up early to join him already makes him feel good, even if he knows you prefer just watching him do his thing, but even that makes him feel hot all over. He’s not sure when he’ll get used to your reactions to him and he’s noticed you try to temper it. He hopes you never do, though, and it’s not for his ego or anything; he just likes being the cause of your intense emotions and desire.
You and Jungkook spend the next 15 minutes leisurely swimming about before lounging on the chairs to dry up. But then he orders a burger then decides to go for one last lap, with you whining that he’s gonna drip all the way to your room and you don’t have time for him to dry up all over again.
He insists that it’ll be fine, and while he does leave some droplets in the elevators all the way to your bedroom, he manages to not make much of a mess.
Your friends are back, too, and they’re all taking turns in their shared bathroom to wash up before heading for the breakfast buffet. Jungkook hints at joining you in your shower, but you put up a strong front and say no.
“Kook, the last time we took a bath together, we took up an hour,” you remind him. “It’ll take us longer together than if we did it separately.”
“Well…” he smirks at you, clearly reminiscing about that time and the different ways he took you in the shower.
You were in Gangwon for a field visit one weekend and decided to spend the night, and after telling him, Jungkook took the train to meet you so he could spend it with you. The bathrooms in your apartments aren’t spacious enough for you two, but the one in the hotel you stayed at was. You ended up requesting a late checkout the next day because you took a bath longer than you should have, just like the night before.
Much as the thought excites you - somehow he looks even hotter when he’s wet from a shower - you’ll be pressed for time. You don’t want to end up stressing the rest of the day just because you were horny.
“Tonight,” you promise him as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“And if you’re too tired and end up falling asleep again?” He cocks his eyebrow.
“I won’t!” You try to convince him. “I want to make the most out of our last night here because we are definitely not gonna be able to do as much once we’re at your parents’ house.”
“Well, we could always just book a room in a less fancy place for our last night,” he suggests.
“Kook, your parents invited us. They sounded really excited,” you remind him.
“They are,” he smiles now. “They asked me for your favorite food yesterday because they were in the market. I said you’re easily satisfied like me. They also cleaned my room and dusted all my awards because they wanted to brag about me to you.”
“Ugh, they’re so cute,” you groan, your cuteness aggression now extending to Jungkook’s parents because they truly are adorable.
He smiles and kisses your forehead. He knew that suggesting taking a bath together would push it but it was worth a try. He’s not upset one bit; just being with you in his hometown is enough to make him happy. And like you said, there’s always tonight. The last time you and your friends had a night out, you were unable to resist him and ended up confessing your feelings.
“Go take a shower,” he says now. “I’ll just mentally prepare myself to meet your family again.”
“It’s my nieces and nephews you have to be worried about,” you warn him. “Once they find out what you do for a living, they’re not gonna leave your side.”
Jungkook laughs and says he’ll prepare for that, too. Seokjin had mentioned that not long ago. The kids have grown up and are never out of energy. They recently got into sports, too, and are in that phase where they wanna try and learn everything. It’s good for their development for sure, but that just means constantly asking your family and extended family members to play tag or whatever else their creative minds could think of.
But he’s ready for that. He’s got your family to impress and an athletic image to uphold. He also just really wants to see you smile because that’s what you do when those kids are happy.
“I’ll make sure to stretch before meeting them, then.”
You giggle before entering the bathroom, knowing that Jungkook doing prep work before meeting your nieces and nephews might be a bit too much.
You savor your bath time and run today’s schedule in your head for the nth time. It’s all straightforward but you want to make sure you get to properly celebrate with your family and friends. You wipe yourself dry and call out to Jungkook to let him know that he can start in the shower while you do your skincare but you’re left with no response.
You wonder if he’d left the bedroom so you open the door, only to find him doing pushups next to your bed.
“Oh. You were serious…” you say, as your eyes take their time in watching your boyfriend push himself off the floor, with his taut arms and broad back hypnotizing you.
“It’s the last part of my workout,” he informs you, as he stands up and wiggles his eyebrows at your staring. “I do this all the time. But I did stretch earlier so I’m now physically ready.”
You burst into laughter. “Kook, they may have so much energy but they’re still just kids.”
“You forget that I work with kids. Half an hour with the year ones and I’m already spent,” he reminds you. “Plus, Seokjin told me about that one time he and Hayoung took them to a kid’s cafe and he gave up 15 minutes in. He said they kept going from one game to another and he got so tired that he fell asleep in the sandpit.”
“True. I mean, they’re gonna need a new victim since Seokjin will be busy tonight,” you hum. “You’re actually the one with the most patience.”
“Exactly.”
“Alright then. Finish your stretching then take a shower.”
“Will do now,” he says.
He hums under the gush of water while you fix up at the nearby vanity. He walks over to you soaking wet, and you groan at him for drenching the floor again.
“Just wanted to remind you what you missed out on,” he smirks, as he wipes himself dry beside you.
“I pride myself in having self-control, excuse you,” you bite back.
“Alright. Let’s see about that later,” he laughs mockingly before walking out, clearly still teasing you as he doesn’t even wrap himself with the towel.
It’s just his toned ass and delicious thighs, slowly disappearing from view.
You pout at yourself in the mirror but then again, not like there’s anything to complain about.
He returns to your side in his boxers now and starts putting on moisturizer. Wanting to always hit him back, you remark that the bathrobe is too heavy so you remove it, leaving you the one completely naked this time.
Jungkook doesn’t react for the first five seconds. But once he finishes putting lotion on his arms, he immediately stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. It’s kisses on your back and torso before you know it, and you squeal in an attempt to reprimand him, but even he knows you’re enjoying it.
“What’s the point of not taking a shower together if you’re just gonna do this anyway?” You whine.
“The point is that we’re dry.”
“That does not make any sense,” you groan, as you watch him continue to kiss you while you remain unmoving.
You eventually concede though, because anytime Jungkook expresses his desire for you like this, you can’t help but feel warmth. Which is actually quite comforting.
“Okay now I’m starving. For actual food,” he says. “Let’s go!”
Both of you finally get dressed and walk with Jimin, Taehyung, and Mo-eum to the hotel restaurant. The rest of your friends have already taken their seats, so you join them and pick your spots.
Namjoon and Hoseok apparently worked out this morning, too, and when you ask Yoongi if he’d just gotten out of bed, he nonchalantly says that he and Gyu-rim went for a coffee run earlier. He blinks rapidly right after then quickly looks away before saying that he’ll just get more of the noodle soup at the buffet table. Gyu-rim excuses herself to go to the comfort room and heads the opposite direction.
You and your friends look at them then at each other, curious as to what might’ve happened.
“Okay, it’s either they confessed during their little coffee date or one of them almost did then chickened out so now it’s awkward,” Jimin suspects.
“It’s highly likely that’s Yoongi because he only ever gets cold feet when it comes to Gyu-rim,” Hoseok fondly says.
“What’s there to be nervous about?” You say. “It’s Gyu-rim, she–”
You pause, as nine pairs of eyes look at you questioningly. You’re unsure if Gyu-rim told anyone else about her feelings for Yoongi and you don’t want to do it for her.
“She’s so chill, you know?” You say instead. “Nothing really fazes her.”
“You can say the same for Yoongi but not when it comes to Gyu-rim,” Seokjin hums. “I mean, I’d know.”
Seokjin would, and that’s either because Yoongi’s his best friend, or he knows exactly what Yoongi’s feeling because it’s probably the same as what he felt. But you don’t push and instead let Namjoon remind everyone to not meddle. It’s always more exciting that way, he reminds you all, even if it could also get frustrating.
You continue with your two plates of food as Yoongi returns followed by Gyu-rim. It’s not long after when Seokjin and Hayoung excuse themselves to start getting ready. Your older friends and Taehyung follow soon after to help them, so you’re left with Jimin, Jungkook, and Mo-eum who continue talking about the other potential relationship in your group.
You watch in entertainment as Jimin and Mo-eum bounce off their observations, and you remark that this is what they were probably doing behind your and Jungkook’s backs.
“Oh, totally. We’d even do it while you’re in the bathroom or something and then change topics when you return,” Mo-eum hums as she chews on her rice cake. “Like, remember when you were whining the weekend after Jeju because Kook got tasked to chaperone for a school trip so he couldn’t go to your apartment?”
“Oh god,” you shake your head, and you all quickly get into narrating how your respective conversations went.
It’s funny in hindsight, knowing now that Jungkook was missing you the way you were missing him. You still felt upset that time, though, and you don’t want to feel that frustration ever again.
You finally finish your meal and head to the lobby to meet your family who just arrived from your town in Gwangju. They’ll be checking in early, and you wanted to make sure they were settled first before you started preparing yourself.
It’s warm greetings when you see your parents and they excitedly hug Jimin and Mo-eum. When it’s Jungkook’s turn, your mother beams even more, and she engulfs him in her arms and sighs, as if in relief.
“Oh, Jungkook. What a lucky woman our daughter is,” she smiles. “We won’t ever have to worry about her starving or not eating delicious food.”
“Ah, well, she’s not hard to please,” Jungkook chuckles, earning him a pout from you. “But I’m… I’m just glad I get to take care of her.”
“What a sweet man,” your mother gushes, and you nudge her and warn not to scare him away. “She needs that. She’s too busy saving the world and has to be reminded to look after herself, too.”
“She does,” Jungkook smiles. “But she’s been doing well in that regard. It helps when you’ve got good people around you.”
“Of course,” your father says now. “You’re all so lucky you have each other. And that both of you ended up together. Seriously, it’s such a relief. You’ll understand it if you become a father - you’re constantly praying that your children find good and responsible partners that they’ll spend their lives with and so there’s this nervousness every time they introduce someone. We’re lucky that her siblings found them and well, you’re the first one that ___ has properly introduced as her boyfriend and we’re just relieved that it’s someone like you. We adore your parents, too, so whew, no in-law drama and–”
“As you can tell, I got the rambling genes from him,” you interject, earning you laughter from your friends, especially Jungkook who scrunches his nose in entertainment.
“Not obvious at all,” Jungkook chuckles.
But your father’s smile softens and this means a lot to you, too. Your parents were never the type to pressure you into getting married right away, only because you established early on that your career is very, very important to you. Finding a partner is something that could be delayed, or even given up if it was your choice.
But it doesn’t mean that they don’t hope that you find someone who would accept you for all that you are, including your dreams for yourself, because they do. It’s something they tell your siblings, which they tell you, so you’re glad you can appease your parents this time.
Jungkook is the type you’d proudly introduce to your family. Even if he can get a bit shy sometimes, like now, as his hand searches yours once they ask him about work and other things. You adore your parents; they could just get a little overwhelming sometimes. You suppose it runs in the blood.
You thumb his hand in assurance, and he seems to calm down a bit once he talks about his students and what he teaches them based on the year level. He also talks about the extra-curricular activities he organizes for the school. It’s something he’s proud about but he doesn’t get to always talk about it this way, so you’re glad he’s able to share this with your parents. You suppose they have more reason to want to get to know him like this and you don’t mind, not when they seem really impressed, too.
Your chat is interrupted with the front desk staff saying that their rooms are ready and your nieces and nephews entering the lobby after playing in the playground right outside. Your brothers already look tired and it’s not even lunch time.
You say your goodbyes for now as they head to their rooms and you return to yours. You and Mo-eum hog your bathroom so you both could do your makeup while Jimin and Jungkook play video games outside, even with your constant reminder for them to get ready soon.
You get dressed with Mo-eum in your bedroom then let Jungkook in so he could dress up, too. His breath visibly hitches at the sight of you, and you shyly smile in response.
But there’s nothing to be nervous about, not when you look the way you do in your sweetheart gown. He’s seen you in formal looks many times before but not like this, and not since he started liking you, which he reminds himself was barely a year ago. There are still so many things that will feel new or different this time around despite having known each other for so long.
And that includes seeing you look so stunning that he can’t help but sigh in amazement.
“How do I look?” you ask, turning around to show him the entirety of the dress, which also happens to be low-back.
He doesn’t really have the right words for it, but he takes your hand and kisses it.
“You look really good,” he says under his breath.
You settle with a nod, unable to control your smile with how visibly affected he is, especially as he pulls you closer and softly kisses your bare shoulder. That itself leaves goosebumps on your skin; you can’t wait to know how it’ll feel later on.
You turn towards the closet to hand him his clothes this time. You help him when you can, and you learn that Jungkook, too, looks breathtaking in formal wear, especially with his thin necktie and the white dress shirt that beautifully hugs his toned upper body.
He heads to the bathroom to style his hair while you attempt to put on your heels, and not only are you unsuccessful, you’re also left speechless once Jungkook appears before you. It’s the slightly parted hair, you think. You decide that this slick, confident style is the mature look; you’d take this over his leather jacket any day.
“How do I look?” He dares ask, as if your ogling doesn’t say enough.
“Do you want the G-rated answer or the X-rated one?”
He laughs in response, truly never ready for what you have to say.
“Hmm, what about you tell me the G-rated version now,” he hums as he bends down to help you buckle your heels, “and then you can show me the X-rated answer tonight?”
“I can do that,” you smirk, slightly lifting your dress to show a bit of leg as he finishes with your shoes.
He helps you stand up and you fix his necktie before smiling at him.
“You look so handsome, Kook. Seriously. I might have to pull you away from the kids if they hog you later.”
“Hey, I’m gonna need to be in their good graces, too,” he chuckles. “But I’ll just be near you, okay?”
“I was just teasing. I think,” you say. “But hey, it’s Seokjin and Hayoung’s wedding. We have to enjoy it. Don’t worry too much about my family because they already like you.”
“As if you’re not wanting to impress my parents, too,” he teases.
“Oh god yeah. Please make sure I don’t do anything stupid in front of them,” you start to panic. “I might ramble about your amazing genes and how they conceived you so perfectly.”
He laughs again.
“Well, they won’t be at the yacht party so you can let loose then. Just don’t… hit your head or anything again, yeah?”
You playfully roll your eyes before opening the door and he follows behind. You smile at Jimin in his adorable bowtie and Mo-eum in her classy strapless dress and ask for their help to make sure that you don’t embarrass yourself in front of Jungkook’s parents.
“Hmm, I don’t think they’d mind if you do,” Jimin hums as you all walk down the hallway. “I think it’ll assure them that you’re not presenting yourself to be someone perfect for their son, only to end up betraying him.”
You sigh at the thought.
“And hey. Kook really, really and I mean, really likes you. That’s the only thing that matters to them.”
The four of you separate once you arrive at the 15th floor. Jungkook and the guys head to Seokjin’s room while you and Mo-eum squeal once you enter Hayoung’s suite. She’s already made up and there are several more photos taken before she gets into her dress, which Gyu-rim and Suhyeon help her wear.
It’s not long before you go to another room on a different floor where Seokjin and Hayoung finally see each other. It’s also where their families will greet them before the ceremony starts.
There are lots of tears and so much squealing throughout the whole hour that it happens. Seokjin’s rich family members are mostly humble and have a good sense of humor whereas your entire clan is a little too energetic. It’s definitely not balanced out but you end up laughing for most of it because there’s always a joke or remark that makes it through the crowd.
But you see Seokjin always turns to Hayoung, his eyes softening as he watches his bride enjoy the moment just like he is, just like how he always tells her to. There’s so much trust and promise in the way he looks at her, and it’s the kind that’s built over time. It may seem a bit too early but you hope you and Jungkook get to that point one day.
“They’re so cute,” Jungkook whispers in your ear amidst all the chatter. “Who would have thought that the corniest guy in the world could have the softest smile?”
“Well, he’s looking at the love of his life,” you say. “That’s reserved for only her.”
Jungkook nods in agreement and looks at his friends. Behind all the jokes and the contagious laughter is a man who’s truly so in love, and Jungkook is happy he gets to witness it.
Your time eventually comes to an end and you’re all escorted to the large balcony where cocktails are being served while the bride and groom remain for more photos. You take one sip of champagne before handing it over to Mo-eum once you see Jungkook’s parents, who happen to be talking to your parents, too.
They greet you with the warmest hugs and gush at how you look. You’re left feeling a bit flustered at the compliments and respond with the G-rated version of what you think of their son’s outfit.
Both your parents have met each other many times and they talk just as any couple friends do. There’s a lot of praising each other’s kids and you thank the heavens that they get along early on. Jungkook’s parents even talk about your stay at their house tomorrow and your parents take this opportunity to invite the Jeons to your grandparents’ farm. You come up with possible dates and agree to firm up the plans in the coming weeks.
Not long after, all the guests are asked to head inside the hall for the mid-afternoon ceremony, and you separate from your parents to sit at the round table with your friends at the front.
As expected, the guests erupt in cheers and applause once the bride and groom are revealed behind the large doors. They look so perfect together, and you at least get to gush with your other cousins about how Hayoung copped herself a truly handsome guy when she proclaimed she was going to be a nun when she was a teenager.
The vows end in tears, as Seokjin surprisingly goes into serious mode and expresses his most sincere emotions that surprises even his best friends.
“This could've been left in a letter that I’d be reading to you tonight but I want everyone to know that I will love you in words, I will love you in action, and I will love you with every breath,” he says, as he wipes the corner of his eyes. “I’ll always be thankful to the chickens that chased you and had you yelling and laughing like crazy because that’s when I knew that I liked you. Your laughter changed my life, Hayoung. And I hope to never live a day without it.”
It’s a special moment you all share. It’s the first wedding in your friend group; they also happen to be the couple that you all look up to and seek comfort from. The emotions spill over to the speeches that Namjoon, Taehyung, Suhyeon, and Hayoung’s sister make.
Before you know it, the newlyweds are walking out the hall for a change and you’re all buzzing from what just happened. The reception commences soon after, and it’s delicious food after delicious food that’s served that gets you and Jungkook jumping in your seats and moaning to yourselves.
The socializing bit begins and you take the time to catch up with your other cousins. It’s midway through one conversation when you realize you haven’t seen Jungkook in a while. You look around the hall but eventually find him out the balcony, racing with your nieces and nephews. They squeal in disappointment when they lose and in excitement when they almost win, and while they take turns to go ahead, Jungkook’s the one who runs solo.
“Five-minute break,” he yells, as he heaves while walking towards you.
You hand him a glass of water and chuckle at how he obviously is quite tired but is still willing to go a few rounds with the kids.
“What have they asked you to do?”
“Well, other than running, we’ve raced by hopping and jumping on one leg,” Jungkook answers. “They wanted to crawl, too, but I used the adult card for that one and said no.”
“They spend a lot of time outdoors so they come up with a bunch of different things,” you laugh, already used to them and their different games.
“As they should,” Jungkook hums. “Which is why I’m going along with it. I mean, they’re at a wedding. It’s an event for adults. What else are they supposed to do?”
“Hmm, that’s true. But thanks for keeping them company,” you smile. “You deal with kids enough at work and now you’re doing that here, too.”
“Because it’s fun!” He beams. “Plus, So-you asked me if I’m your boyfriend because I keep kissing your cheek and she’s never seen anyone do that with you so she’s a little protective. I need her on my side.”
“She’s a little too smart for her own good. I told her once that I don’t really wanna have a boyfriend so she’s quite sus with me,” you laugh. “But she’ll come around. She loves the water so if you teach her how to swim, she’ll be impressed.”
“That’s already on tomorrow’s agenda,” Jungkook says. “One of your uncles told them I’m a swimmer and they got excited. They already told me to meet them at 9 sharp and that they’ll tell your parents if I don’t show up.”
“Bunch of brats. I love them so much,” you chuckle. “Well, there goes our Sunday morning.”
“At least it’s not too early. We can stay up tonight,” he smirks.
“Well, we won’t if you’re the one who uses all his energy and falls asleep right away,” you point out.
“Oh, you know better than challenging me like that.”
You actually do, which is why you did. He’s gonna want to prove a point and he’s sexy when he does. You’re unsure if he’s caught on that you like challenging him so he’d do what you actually want him to, but he does it anyway.
Before you could answer, Haneul is yelling that five minutes is up and that the jumping jacks race is about to start. Jungkook, truly wanting to prove himself to them, removes his suit and hands it over to you.
You watch in amusement as he makes his way across the covered path, jumping up and down with his arms swinging over his head. The kids are shrieking while he heaves, but they cheer him on. At this point, some of them, tired from all the running and screaming, are already seated on the bench next to you, giggling.
“I don’t even know why Jungkook is doing this,” you chuckle as you watch him win the race.
He’s not even letting them win as a courtesy.
“He’s in a competition with So-you,” Ha-yul says of her cousin.
“What competition?” You ask.
Your 8-year old niece merely shrugs and wraps her arms around your waist and continues to watch on. Knowing her, she probably knows what they’re competing for but you don’t prod. Jungkook will probably tell you later.
You instead ask her about her family’s recent trip to Jeju and she beams with joy once she talks about the dolphins she saw swimming in the ocean.
“They look so magical, auntie. Even from afar,” she smiles. “Did you see them when you were there?”
The question sparks a memory. A very special one.
“Yes, I did,” you gush, recalling how you wanted to hold Jungkook’s hand then because of the overwhelming beauty of nature and the exhilaration of accepting your feelings for him. “It was so pretty.”
“Did you see them with anyone?” She asks, looking up at you now.
“Yeah. I was with him,” you reply, gesturing towards the man who’s somehow ended up teaching the kids how to do a high kick.
“Are you sure you were even looking at the dolphins?”
You turn to Ha-yul with her doubtful eyes and crossed arms.
“Yes, I was, you smarty-pants,” you chuckle, pinching her adorable cheeks. “Jungkook was the one who told me about them so we went to this spot to watch the sunrise and then the dolphins showed up right after.”
“Hmm. That’s very sweet,” she replies, slowly smiling. “I like him for you, auntie. He makes you smile a lot.”
“He does, doesn’t he?” You giggle, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks at the thought that even your niece can see it. “I like him for me, too.”
You eventually go back inside after feeling a bit hungry despite all the food you ate earlier. You yell for Jungkook to follow you, knowing he’d want to munch on something after the series of physical activities he just did. Your nieces and nephews fortunately drain their energy and run towards the hall, too, and you overhear them tell their parents that “uncle Jungkook is so cool!”
You gush at him, knowing that he achieved his goal of impressing them, though you don’t think it would’ve been difficult. He’s natural with kids and you got to see that today. It’s even more special to you because they’re your family - people you love and adore, and it means so much that they accept him.
Even your cousins seem to like him, too. One of them talks to Jungkook about teaching, another about swimming, and another about taekwondo. The conversations move to sports in general, and then video games, and then music and their favorite beer and whiskey brands. You leave them alone, not wanting to cling to Jungkook’s side the entire time.
So you hang out with your siblings while your other friends stay nearby. By this time, the number of guests has started to dwindle. The ceremony and reception are long over but there’s still lots of food and drinks being served. The sunset yacht party for close friends and family will start soon, and you’re all just waiting for the go-signal to start heading to the port.
You walk towards the bar for a glass of soda when you stop in your tracks at a sight that you didn’t think you’d see. There by the counter is Gyu-rim, giggling shyly and Yoongi, chuckling, too, while he pulls her close to him and whispers something in her ear. She laughs once more then their hands slowly move down, their fingers grazing before he places her hand firmly in his.
Your jaw drops and you blink multiple times to make sure it’s real.
It is. And you seriously want to scream in excitement.
But you scurry back to your friends instead.
“Oh my, oh my, oh my,” you catch your breath. “It’s happening!”
“What’s happening!” Mo-eum rushes to you with a slice of cake in her hand.
The rest of your friends slowly gather around you and you direct their sights to the bar where Yoongi and Gyu-rim are still definitely being all shy and affectionate.
“Who is it?” Jimin asks, squinting his eyes to try to see what has all of you gasping and freaking out.
“Gyu and Uncle!” You squeal at him.
“What! Wait, I’m blind!” He groans.
And just as you’re about to tell your best friend to be subtle, he’s already off near the bar to get a closer look, and his own gasps alert the pair that you’re all onto them.
But Yoongi just turns to your table and raises his glass in both confirmation and celebration.
And Gyu-rim just smiles. She’s no longer just doing it internally, that’s for sure.
They eventually walk towards your table and you can sense the restraint your friends have in bombarding them with questions. Except for Jimin.
“How! When!” He goes on. “I manifested this. I envisioned this. I prayed for this! When did you–”
“Coffee. This morning,” Yoongi answers.
“So did you two just look at each other and then have a silent understanding of your feelings?” Taehyung wonders.
“Sorta,” Gyu-rim hums. “The distance between us just kept getting shorter and then he… uh, he just held my hand and I held it tighter and then we just… I guess, kinda knew.”
“How on brand,” you remark.
“Yeah, just like your confession,” Jungkook, who suddenly appears next to you, whispers in your ear.
“At least I confessed first,” you stick your tongue out at him.
“Then why were you awkward during breakfast?” Mo-eum asks the pair.
“It was fresh,” Yoongi shrugs. “And we weren’t sure how to act without you guys freaking out.”
“We were still talking about you though,” Jimin informs him.
“I’m sure you started it,” Yoongi deadpans.
“Of course I did,” Jimin winks.
“So why now?” Taehyung asks. “What pushed you to finally confess?”
“I didn’t wanna waste any more time,” Yoongi sighs.
“And I couldn’t deny it any longer,” Gyu-rim pipes in.
“And well, I was thinking about those two,” Yoongi adds, his gaze turning to you and Jungkook now. “There are lots of things going on in our lives. I could be one serendipitous encounter away from letting her get away. I don’t really think I could live with that.”
“Gosh, our impact,” you whisper to Jungkook after softly smiling at the new couple.
He just wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer. He’ll always be glad that things happened the way they did with both of you, and he’d go through a decade of friendship and periods of distance and confusion if it means having you like this.
You all continue to gush and talk about all that happened today until you’re told that you can now head to the port. You’re transported in coaches then you make your way to the large yacht where there’s more food and drinks, hanging lights, and a saxophonist serenading the minimal guests.
There’s less squealing this time with the kids left behind in the hotel. It’s more relaxed now, as the many lounges offer so much space to enjoy the scenery, the almost cool air, and each other’s company.
You and Jungkook constantly get separated, with your relatives pulling you over to them every five minutes. You can’t complain though, as you really don’t see them as much, but you also wish you could have more time to be with your boyfriend, perhaps hold his hand as you socialize, or gush at how he looks because he truly is so beautiful tonight.
But somehow, you find your way to each other once the sun starts to set. Between the purple and orange sky, the calm waves, and the jazz music, it’s a moment that you’ll truly treasure, especially with Jungkook’s arms around you, his chin tucked in that space by your shoulder, humming in amazement.
You don’t really need words for this moment. You just pull him closer to you and kiss the side of his face when you can, an act of extreme fondness and desire that you could offer him right now.
The dancefloor opens up and Seokjin and Hayoung are the first to slow dance. People soon follow, including you and Jungkook, whose hands just don’t want to separate from you. You feel quite overwhelmed and opt to gently lay your head on his chest, wanting to feel his heartbeat and the full warmth of his arms around you. You know it’s where you’ll always want to be.
His soft kisses on your head give you a kind of assurance that’s quite emotional. It’s as if he knows how much you feel and how deep you’re thinking and he’s there, not quieting your mind but encouraging it. It’s acceptance and respect that you don’t think you’ve ever felt with anyone before.
The music turns lively not long after. The drinking continues, too, leaving some guests in a rather unfiltered and perhaps wild state, including your friends.
There’s Jimin, Mo-eum, and Taehyung dancing around like always. There’s Hoseok with his now half unbuttoned dress shirt, not too subtly grinding with his girlfriend in the corner.
Then there’s Namjoon, yelling “fuck the government” towards the ocean, and Yoongi has to remind him to tone it down because he’s part of the government, and well, he’s a future public figure so this behavior might not be a good look.
“I’m thinking of quitting my job, actually,” Namjoon admits. “I’ll just have my own podcast and name it ‘the professional yapper’ and talk about all the things that fuck us over. And crabs. I’d like to talk about crabs.”
“Who hurt you?” Gyu-rim asks.
“I… I’m drunk,” Namjoon heaves.
“We know,” several of you say in unison.
But this is when his body starts to shut down. After releasing all his pent up anger, his energy drains and he gets sleepy. He doesn’t want to sit down, knowing he’d fall asleep and it’ll be difficult for anyone to carry him off the boat, so Jungkook stays by Namjoon’s side to make sure he doesn’t fall on the floor or into the water.
It keeps your boyfriend away from you again though, as he follows the older man everywhere, even outside the bathroom. But you don’t mind. Jungkook’s taken care of your friends during times like this and you know he won’t stop just because of you.
It’s already dark once the yacht returns to the port. It’s barely 10 PM but you’re full and exhausted. You’ve had a long day and you just want to have a nice bath like you promised Jungkook and well, do a lot more.
Jimin, Mo-eum, and Taehyung don’t want their night to be over yet so they head to the hotel bar to eat and drink some more. They don’t miss the chance to tease you and Jungkook about having the suite all to yourselves though but you run with it. It’s not like your desire for each other is a secret or something you suppress when you’re with your friends.
So you and Jungkook head back to your floor and once he enters your bedroom, he immediately climbs on the foot of the bed and lies down. With his loosened tie, he undoes another button of his dress shirt and releases a deep exhale.
Even you feel his tiredness from that one breath.
You stand by the window and just watch him, his arms and legs straightened out and his eyes closed. You take the time to admire him like this. His body’s breathtaking even with clothes on, and you let the X-rated thoughts fill your mind.
He mistakes your hardened gaze for annoyance, as he apologizes for lying on the bed with his day clothes. It’s one of your biggest pet peeves, and you once had an argument because he was tired from work and wanted to cuddle but you wouldn’t let him stay next to you on your bed until he showered. It was more of a banter, really, but you did sense his frustration when he dragged himself to your bathroom then slept right after lying on your side.
He sits up now and scoots to the edge of the bed.
“It’s okay, Kook. Rest there if you want to,” you assure him. “I don’t blame you, considering you were the cool uncle and the great friend tonight.”
“Those kids are relentless,” he chuckles. “And Joon is so heavy; it was a struggle getting him off the boat.”
“Well, he has a lot of angst to release but I’m sure he’s glad you helped him.”
“Yeah, but that meant I didn’t get to be with you much today,” he pouts now.
You smile at his sullen expression, as the realization that you spent much of the wedding being with other people hits him. Sure, you had dinner and the sunset viewing and that slow dance but with everything that happened today, it still doesn’t seem enough.
So you walk towards him and slightly lift your dress so you could sit on his lap. He shifts you around so you’re snug against him and he smirks.
“So you’re not mad that I lied on the bed in day clothes?”
“You were at the foot of it so it’s fine,” you wave him off. “That could be our compromise.”
“Okay then. So… will you show me the X-rated version of your thoughts now?”
You gaze at him - at his sparkling eyes and soft lips and chiseled jaw and think this view of him will always leave you breathless. The fact that you have this beautiful man wanting your attention blows your mind and you truly wish he’ll never get sick of you.
You bite your lip and nod before kissing him deeply, not holding yourself back now since you’ve been wanting to do this all afternoon. He returns your eagerness and moans against your mouth. He grips your waist and pulls you closer to him in an effort to eliminate whatever distance is left, which is none. You’re chest to chest now but that still doesn’t feel close enough.
Soft moans fill the room and your pleasure continues to build, especially with Jungkook grazing his fingers down your semi-bare back before slowly pulling off the straps of your dress. It triggers something inside you, as you now fiddle with his necktie, desperate to get it off.
You manage to untangle it and quickly undo the buttons of his shirt. He lets you do it on your own while his hands travel to the edge of the bed, and you feel him smile in the kiss that hasn’t stopped.
You finally remove his top then move to unbuckle his belt. Briefly pulling yourself from him, you eagerly undo his trousers and start pulling it off. He watches you from his seat on the bed while you bend down, and you cock your brow at his smug face. He looks like he’s really enjoying this.
“You letting me do all the work?” You tease.
“For now.”
You know what that means. And that just gets you more worked up. So you immediately undress and watch him watch your every move until you’re back on his lap, both of you now completely naked.
Your kisses turn even more heated. His grip on your waist tightens, and your nails on his shoulders dig a little deeper. You catch your breath and let him kiss down your neck, his teeth merely grazing your flesh, leaving goosebumps on your skin.
Your hand travels south, too, until they reach his hardened dick and you’re overwhelmed with an even more intense desire for him and everything he is.
You want him so bad, you think you’ll explode.
Jungkook feels you grip his length and grunt as your tongue flicks his lips. This is usually your tell.
“Let me just get the co—”
“No,” you interject, pulling away as you look at him with now wondering eyes.
“I… uh—”
“Well, do you want it inside you, at least?” He asks, gesturing towards his member that you haven’t let go of.
“Yes, I just… I just want it naked. Is that okay?”
It takes a few seconds for it to fully register to him what exactly you mean.
“You’re asking me if I want to be inside you without a condom?” He asks incredulously.
“Well, yeah. You said you’ve always used one,” you say.
“It was a precaution for a bunch of things,” he reasons. “And well, given what happened with the last girl I dated, I’m glad I did. But you said you’ve always used one, too.”
“Same reason,” you shrug. “But I really, really like you, Kook. And you’re so hot. And I hate the taste of latex when I suck you after.”
“Those seem like valid reasons,” he chuckles. “You feel really good even when I wear one so it doesn’t matter as much.”
“Yeah but, I don’t wanna do this with doubts or hesitation,” you sigh. “And I don’t wanna gatekeep.”
“You don’t wanna gatekeep… your vagina?”
“Yes. You say it’s really good down there. You can have all of it.”
Jungkook laughs out of amusement. You truly are unfiltered and bizarre sometimes but still very endearing.
“That’s your vagina though,” he reminds you. “I’m just a visitor.”
“And you can visit my coochie without clothes on! Like you’re free. Plus, you’re the only one who’s going in there so why not?”
He laughs again at your allusions and pulls you in for a hug.
“You drive me crazy, you know? And in the best way,” he says softly.
“Thank you for that clarification,” you pull away and giggle.
“So uh, shall I visit now?”
“Gotta prep you again first,” you gesture towards his flaccid dick.
“Oh. That won’t be hard,” he smirks.
You both burst into laughter but he does clarify that he’ll indeed get hard again; he just couldn’t pass up on the pun.
Jungkook softens at the look you give him. There’s this gentleness in it like always but it’s a little different this time. It's filled with even more trust. Perhaps appreciation and gratefulness, too? You often thank him for listening to all your thoughts and he gladly would. Everyday.
He loves that this is something both of you can easily talk about, which isn’t even the first time. And that just like him, you don’t want any reservations or doubts in your relationship. There’s so much clarity that he feels for you in such a short amount of time that he’s been with you and he doesn’t even question it.
Just this intimacy with you is everything he wants - there’s pleasure and intense desire but there’s playfulness, too. There’s warmth and comfort and that’s what being with you is like.
You gaze at each other with such yearning that it immediately turns into a heated kiss. You catch your breath and his mouth travels to your nipples, expertly lapping them up, causing you to tilt your head and moan. He takes the chance to kiss down your torso, leaving you panting once he makes it to the side of your waist, an erogenous part he recently discovered that he takes advantage of.
You return to kisses and your hands explore his chest before they grip his now hardened length. You moan at the feel of it, then thumb his tip before you lift yourself up and slowly slide down.
The sensation is different and you know he feels it, too. He hums and curses under his breath, pulling you close to nibble your neck while you grind against each other.
It really does feel liberating in an odd way, Jungkook thinks, just because he feels everything. You clench around him and it has him moaning.
This is the time when he does all the work, as he shifts you around to lie on the bed and you know it, too, biting your lip in anticipation for how hard he’s gonna go.
But he wants to focus on your pleasure first, so he dives down your cunt and kisses you in all the places he knows you like. He meets your eyes and hums to himself in satisfaction, knowing how much you’re enjoying this.
Once he feels your slick on his mouth, he gets on his knees and aligns himself with you, spreading your legs so he can get a good look of that naked entrance you were talking about.
You both moan once more, and Jungkook pushes in and out, familiarizing himself with the feeling that he knows he’ll keep having. You feel even more amazing like this; he just hopes he can keep it together and make this last longer.
“You okay, babe?” He pants.
“Yeah. It’s just like Pilates.”
He laughs again, having accepted that you’ll always have something fascinating to say even when he’s balls deep inside of you.
But he quickly gets back to that hypnotic feel, especially once he flushes your legs against your chest, allowing him to thrust into you intensely at a different angle.
You’re definitely not yet flexible enough so you’re a bit overwhelmed, but you let him chase his high just as he let you do so earlier with his skillful mouth and focus on the way he feels bare inside you. He knows how to use his beautiful dick and not to be cheesy, but it feels pretty special that no one else has ever felt him like this.
His thrusts start to get erratic and you know he’s close. He pulls away, pulls out, then pumps himself repeatedly until he’s spilling his seed on your torso. The pure look of pleasure and exhaustion on his face is so sexy, you feel like coming again.
He finishes and hovers over you, supported by his propped up arms with his damp hair and sweat dangling from his forehead. He’s panting and cursing under his breath as he pecks your lips, and you just watch him, enthralled by these little actions, knowing that your body made him feel that way.
“Let me just—”
He cuts himself off and walks to the bathroom then returns with a pile of tissues that he wipes you with. He apologizes as he does and you look at him softly, appreciating the gentleness and warmth on his face. He discards the soaked tissues and plops down next to you.
For a brief moment, you just look at each other, as if words aren’t enough to express what you want to say. It’s not just about the sex or the pleasure you both get from it. It’s not just the lust that courses through your veins and the desire for more.
It’s that feeling of security, you think to yourself. It’s falling quickly from cloud 9 but knowing you’re not gonna crash because not only is he there next to you, holding your hand while you fall, he’s assuring you that it’s not gonna hurt. The fall isn’t the kind where that happens.
Not like it’s some fairytale you’re in - although it might very well be - but there’s this trust that you both know what you’re getting into, that you know what you’re doing, that you just want to do what makes the other person happy.
Because that’s what you want. With Jungkook, you’re not chasing the high or some elusive happiness because you’re living it already. It’s in your grasp and you’re filled with it.
He smiles and you smile back. You snuggle close to him and softly kiss his lips. You want to repeat over and over again how much you like and adore and want him but it doesn’t feel enough so you settle for a hug and a bite of his cheek just because.
Jungkook chuckles and settles in this position next to you with caresses on your bare shoulder. He’s thinking of all that he feels for you until he hears your soft snores and he laughs again.
You catch yourself and ask him if you fell asleep.
“Wow, you’re tired?” He teases.
“Shut up. Pilates makes me tired. What more this?”
“Fair enough,” he hums. “Let’s have a bath then. It could help you relax.”
You immediately agree and get off the bed. You clean your face then prepare the tub, splashing in some bath salts and lavender oil. He stands next to you naked, looking every bit handsome that you can’t help but kiss him again.
He still shivers at your touch and that urges you, as your hand once more wraps around his length and desire overtakes you once more. You start bending down and Jungkook knows what you want. He stops you for a bit and grabs one of the small towels from the sink and places it on the floor, right where your knees are supposed to be.
You get back to it immediately and the absence of the taste and smell of latex is so satisfying. It urges you to do more. It’s perhaps the best suck you’ve given him and the sounds he makes spurs you on. You didn’t think it would ever feel this good for you.
You let him come in your mouth this time and the long exhale he makes lets you know that you did well. It’s the same time when the tub gets filled, and you both go inside, moaning at the feel of the warm water all over your tired bodies.
It’s quiet for a while. You suppose you’re both just soaking in everything, familiarizing yourselves with the silence and the fact that you get to enjoy this fancy bathroom where you can do whatever you want.
But Jungkook is the one who cuts through the sound of the bubbling water.
“You were so pretty tonight,” he says with his deep voice.
You scrunch your nose and smile, giddy at his compliment and the sincerity in which he gives it. Even after all you’ve done in just the past hour, this is what gets you all shy and giggly.
“Thank you,” you whisper. “You, well… I’ve told you both versions. But it was nice to see you being with my family, Kook. I know you’re usually shy around new people but you looked so natural with them. I really appreciate you trying.”
“I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous,” he chuckles. “You talk about your family a lot and you’re their baby. I wanted them to see that I’m good for you, you know? That I can take care of you because I’m sure that’s what they want for you.”
“That’s actually what one of my cousins said as they were leaving,” you smile. “And that my grandparents would’ve loved you.”
“Yeah?”
“She said you would’ve been a big help at the farm,” you chuckle.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Jungkook smiles. “I know that they put Seokjin to work that one time. He said he’s glad he was prepared because his uncle has a farm, too, but that was tough work. And it was worth it. They were charmed by him at the end.”
“It would’ve been the same with you,” you say, reminiscing about that trip from long ago.
Seokjin and Hayoung were dating for just three months when they visited your grandparents. He’s lucky he got their approval then. Two years later, your grandfather passed; your grandmother followed a year later.
But Jungkook got to meet them years before that as your friend and that still means something. Regardless, you think they’d adore him, too, if they were still around.
He smiles and kisses you. It's an affirmation he welcomes, and it’s one he got today from your entire family, especially from his biggest critics - your nieces and nephews.
You return Jungkook’s kiss and moan once his one hand travels to your clit and the other fondles your breast. It’s the perfect place for this, and you sigh in his hold with your back flushed against his chest as you anticipate reaching your peak.
And you do, with his expert fingers fiddling away while his tongue swirls in your mouth with such intensity. You crash from your high engulfed in his arms, and you really can’t ask for anything more.
You stay like that for a while longer before heading to the shower. You fool around again that by the time you finish, you’re worn out and eager to sleep.
“You’re waking up to go swimming with me and your family, right?” Jungkook asks you after you’ve turned the lamp off.
“Uh-huh,” you yawn, turning to hug him now.
His chest is taut and smooth and he smells like baby powder that you push your face against it out of sexiness aggression.
He laughs at you and accepts the new quirks you develop when it comes to him.
“Good. Let’s slee—”
You’re snoring before he could finish his sentence as he expected.
The perfect weekend may be halfway over but he’s loved every single moment with you. Including all the times you’d fallen asleep before he could even properly wish you goodnight.
You ask for a five-minute extension when your alarm rings the next morning but Jungkook isn’t having it.
“I might lose points from your nieces and nephews if I’m not down at the pool by 9,” he groans. “They made me promise. You can’t sabotage me like this.”
He pulls the cover off of you and you groan in response. You slightly open your eyes and find him standing beside your bed already in his swim shorts, arms crossed and looking impatient.
“They won’t do anything. You’re being dramatic,” you say.
“I’m being cautious,” he argues. “Come on, babe.”
“Fine,” you frown, getting off the bed and walking to the bathroom.
He follows you there and kisses your neck to get in your good graces and it works. You’re that weak for him and he knows this so he takes advantage. Sometimes you pretend to be angry or uncaring just so he’d butter up to you but his eye rolling and smirk tell you he knows exactly what you’re doing.
You finally get in your bathing suit and head to the indoor pool where the kids cheer when they see you and Jungkook. You think they’re excited because he promised to teach them how to swim this morning.
“You weren’t that excited when I taught you,” your cousin, Hae-dal, whines.
She was a competitive swimmer once upon a time, too.
“But you’re not a teacher, Ma,” Ha-yul says. “I couldn’t understand what you were saying.”
“She’s got a point,” you tell your cousin.
Once Jungkook starts teaching them how to do the basics and guiding them with their strokes, she concedes.
You didn’t really plan on swimming today but the kids dragged Jungkook and he couldn’t bail on them. He still would’ve come though; he really wanted to try the hotel’s indoor pool and you don’t blame him. It’s huge and fancy-looking. There’s an area for kids, too, so teaching them is easy. You watch him manage six excited children who all want his attention and like you expected, he’s able to give it to each one.
“He’s such a natural,” Hoseok’s voice cuts through your thoughts.
You turn and see that your friends and their partners are here, too, and are heading to the adult pool. You wave your greetings and signal that you’ll go to them later.
“He is,” you respond to your friend. “I never noticed it before.”
“Would you have liked him then if you did?”
“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing,” you hum. “I wasn’t in a good headspace for years and I probably would’ve screwed us up.”
“And he probably would’ve fought to keep you.”
“You think so?” You wonder. “If I hurt him, then I don’t deserve him.”
“Only if you intended to, but we all know you wouldn’t. Not to him. And that’s because you’re a good person, ___. I hope you’ll never forget that.”
You look at Hoseok, a man you’ve known for years and someone you’d seek advice from every once in a while when things are tough because of how wise he is, so he knows your fears and your worries well.
He knows you’re afraid to disappoint people, that you don’t want to hurt the people you care about. And even as you’d told Jungkook last night that you want to continue with your relationship without doubts and fears, somehow this affirmation from Hoseok is something you also needed. And you wonder if it stems from a conversation he might’ve had.
He reads your mind, as he says that he, Jungkook, and Yoongi were chatting last night while making sure Namjoon didn’t fall over the yacht’s railing.
“Kook was just talking about not wanting to fail you. As a partner and as a friend.”
“Did you assure him that he wouldn’t?” You ask.
“I did. And I reminded him that he’s a good person, too, and hurting you isn’t something he’d just do.”
“Seems easy to say, huh?” You laugh dryly.
“People can fight and have misunderstandings and not hurt each other. That’s… kind of what a mature relationship is,” Hoseok advises. “I know you’re on the cusp of something really great - if you’re not there yet - and I thought that reminding you that you’re capable of having genuine, long-lasting and gentle and intense feelings for someone would help. Because you are, okay? Kook’s really happy that he gets to be with you.”
You smile and think that it’s indeed a good reminder. You and Jungkook have been on this honeymoon ride of laughter and playful bickering the past two months and this weekend has turned out to be a beautiful dream, too.
You feel so much for him and you don’t want to one day be overwhelmed by it that you start to doubt if you’re built for something enduring, like you want your feelings for him to be.
You told him months ago that you’re both good people who’ll find other good people meant for you and that you deserve. And both of you have. It’s quite serendipitous - all the times you comforted yourself at the thought that the person meant for you is just somewhere around, he’d been next to you all along.
“Thanks, Hoseok,” you turn to the man next to you. “I’m not surprised if Yoongi and Gyu-rim turn to you, too.”
“Oh, they already have. And it’s barely been a day,” he laughs. “And I say the same thing - they’re good people who deserve good things, too. And they’ve experienced so much that they know enough not to let go of the amazing things that come their way. But you and Kook - you’re like my babies. It makes me happy seeing both of you happy.”
“Well, I am. Very much.”
“And he is, too. But know that I’m just here, okay? We all are.”
You nod and hug him, assured even more that when things get tough, it’s your friends who'll help you and Jungkook find the way.
You finally head to the adult pool and greet your friends. By that time, Jungkook’s swimming lessons have ended, and he’s left the kids on their own to play around.
You dip in the water and stay close to Taehyung and Mo-eum while Jungkook does his laps. It turns out to be a spectacle, as your friends and family stop to watch him. He’s surprised when everyone erupts in cheers and he just laughs it off, content that he still has the skills to entertain, even if he’s certain that he’ll continue doing this for fun.
Swim time ends and you head to your rooms to wash up and prepare for an early lunch before you checkout. Your friends and family occupy several tables of the hotel restaurant and manage to not be too disruptive with how large your group is.
You fix your things and head to the reception then say goodbye to your relatives as they go back home. Your parents remind you and Jungkook about scheduling your visit to Gwangju and you promise that you will. Your nieces and nephews all take their time to hug your friends goodbye, especially Jungkook who they now say is their favorite uncle, a badge he says he’ll proudly wear.
It’s a short drive to Jimin’s father’s cafe where you and your friends go to for dessert, and he welcomes you all with your favorite cakes and pastries that have you jumping in your seat.
That’s where you separate. Seokjin and Hayoung go back to the hotel for another night before they fly to their honeymoon, Taehyung heads for the airport to return to New York, you and Jungkook drive to his parents’ house, and the rest of your friends journey back to Seoul. It’s goodbyes for now but the next lunch gathering is scheduled for when the newlyweds return and you can’t wait for that day to come.
“So, are you excited to go to my childhood home?” Jungkook asks as he turns the corner to his street.
“I’ve been to your house a few times before, Kook,” you remind him. “It’s nothing new.”
“Well, you’re going as my girlfriend this time. That’s a new experience.”
“What new experiences am I gonna have, huh?” You teasingly ask.
“Hand-holding under the table, hugs on my couch… make out session on my childhood bed,” he shrugs.
“Very tempting,” you say.
“And very doable. My parents might even gush and tell us that it’s okay to be affectionate because, uh, they’re not really used to that.”
“Hmm. Sounds good then,” you smile. “Can’t wait.”
The new experience turns out to include Jungkook’s parents telling their neighbors that their son has a girlfriend and that she’s very smart and beautiful.
Jungkook shakes his head in embarrassment, as the elderly couple were merely passing on their street and greeting them but his parents went ahead and bragged about you, which you actually think is quite cute. And a relief, because you were worried about what they thought of you. They’ve always been nice, but you want them to truly like you, and with the way they’re welcoming you into their home, you think they already do.
The new experience also includes being shown old home videos of Jungkook growing up, like his taekwondo competitions and trips to the beach. You’d seen some of his baby photo albums the few times you all went here as friends but there’s more this time, and you’re reminded of baby Jungkook’s chunky cheeks and perfectly round doe eyes.
There are photos of him being cradled by his mom and riding his dad’s shoulders and wearing costumes with his older brother. There are those from family trips and his kindergarten days. There are more of the embarrassingly adorable bowl cut hairstyle from middle school and the side bangs from high school.
That’s how you spend the afternoon - his parents and brother telling you all these stories, Jungkook covering his eyes in embarrassment and defending himself, and you, heaving from laughter.
They don’t even mind when you snort or say unfiltered things and that’s a comforting feeling. They look at you endearingly when you tell stories of Jungkook over the years and even recently, and you don’t miss the way his mom would sometimes touch your hand out of reflex and let it stay there.
She’s such a warm individual, and you feel that aura of comfort she exudes that Jungkook definitely took from her. She’s so bright and positive and you understand why she’s beloved by her students.
His father is very laid-back and slightly cheeky. He likes reminding you that it was Jungkook’s mom who confessed her feelings first because she found him very handsome, just like you did, and you see how Jungkook takes from his old man in that regard, too.
His older brother is quite introverted but has a good sense of humor, and you see why they get along so well, even if they insist it wasn’t always like that. But he seems very caring and attentive, and you’re reminded that Jungkook was raised by such good people.
You’re lucky you get to be part of this family, as what they say you are, with his mom insisting that you always were because of your decade-long friendship with her son but now, you hold a special place in it.
You continue talking with Mrs. Jeon and let her show you Jungkook’s awards cabinet while the men start preparing dinner, as it is in this household. Jungkook did tell you that this mom’s cooking isn’t the best so it was something they always did.
She asks you more about your work and takes interest in the research projects you did for child development. She asks about your college days, too, and how you and Jungkook were like back then.
You enjoy sharing about your life and your friendship with her son. You don’t know how much she knows but you talk about the past year and the trips you took and all the moments you had with him that turned out to be the serendipitous moments that brought you here.
“He really likes you, ___. Like, really, really likes you. I don’t know how else to put it,” she takes your hand and smiles. “He’s a lot more open about himself and he talks to us with this joy and calmness and we’re really happy about that. So thank you. If he does anything silly, let me know, okay?”
“I doubt he will but yes, Auntie,” you smile back. “I think this is the kind of thing that my parents will tell him, too.”
“Probably,” she chuckles. “But we’re parents, ___. At the end of the day, we just want our children to love and be loved. We want them to be happy. And that’s what he is when he’s with you.”
You bow in gratitude, as her words assure you. But love? It’s an exciting thought. You don’t know if it’s all too soon but you know where this whole thing with Jungkook is going, and it’s definitely heading there.
And just as your mind’s about to go elsewhere again, Mr. Jeon calls out that dinner is ready.
You excitedly walk to the dinner table and gasp at all they prepared. From the beef soup to the pajeon to the cold noodles and raw fish, your tummy rumbles in anticipation. And as you expected, everything is delicious.
You and Jungkook take turns in moaning and making these weird sounds you make when the food is good, and your shyness in front of his family slowly melts away. You talk more over dinner and even while you wash the dishes with his mom and then right after.
But you don’t stay up late, as you still have a long drive back to Seoul tomorrow afternoon. So you bid his parents and brother good night and take turns with Jungkook in washing up.
You’re exhausted by the time you’re in bed, your leg over his and your arms wrapped around his waist. You’re softly kissing his face as you both take in the silence and he asks you if you want to ride his bike with him and go to this famous spot to watch the sunrise.
“To relive that time,” he tells you. “I… I always find myself going back to that morning in Jeju.”
“Why?”
“It was so thrilling - riding with you for the first time, feeling what I was feeling but nervous to let you know… But it was also so grounding, I guess,” he explains. “I mean, sunrise, dolphins, scenery of a seaside town… It’s like all these pretty things, including you.”
You remember the feeling clearly. It’s not hard to forget since it felt the same to you. Perhaps that’s when you thought that you could really have the good things you dreamed for in the palm of your hands, and now you do. Seeing the sunrise again with Jungkook this time would definitely make that past sunrise and all the sunrises after that even more special.
“Okay,” you smile. “But you’re waking me up. Drag me out of bed if you need to.”
“I’ll carry you bridal style out this door if it comes to it.”
You giggle at his words but promise that you’ll wake up. You don’t want to miss it either.
“Today was nice, Kook,” you say after a beat of silence. “I think your mom finds me funny.”
“She finds you endearing,” he corrects. “She likes you. She likes you for me. And she thinks you really like me, too.”
“Hmm. I wonder how she figured that out. Is it because of the hundred times I called you handsome or praised you for a gazillion reasons or held your hand every time I had the chance?”
You playfully mock yourself even if you think you’re very transparent about how you feel. You truly think you can’t like Jungkook anymore than you already do.
“Possibly,” he laughs. “But also because your eyes sparkle when you look or talk about me. It’s kind of a big tell.”
“Imagine if you were half-naked and she caught me ogling at you.”
“Let’s be thankful then that the first time she saw us together, I was fully clothed,” he chuckles.
You nod in agreement and think the same.
It’s quiet again for a while and Jungkook meets your sleepy eyes. He kisses you and he feels your toes curl like they often do, and he smiles against your lips because like always, you’re not afraid to feel things for him, and you’re not afraid to show it.
He promises himself he’ll take after you. And then he can tell you everything he really feels.
You keep your promise and wake up when Jungkook taps your arm. He’s already dressed, and you appreciate how he always gets up first so you have more time to sleep.
You fix up and make your way out in the dark where his motorcycle is parked on the street since he’d really planned on riding around in the morning.
He reminds you of safety guidelines and tells you you’re free to hold onto him anytime, not like you need a reason anyway. He puts on your helmet and helps you up, then starts the drive to a nearby town to head to a spot he’s passed by so many times.
The ride is quiet, with only the soft breeze of the summer morning buzzing as you drive past houses and mountains. You see the coast and he tells you you’re near.
It’s still dark when you arrive but you can get a sense of what’s around you. There’s a walkway that leads to a church and behind it are massive rocks that jut out the ocean. There are some street lights the further you walk and you see the view that he’s talking about. The water is so vast and the boulders are flat and safe enough for you to sit at so you find a spot and sit between his legs, basking in the calmness of your surroundings and the warmth of the man who’s holding you.
“Do you come here often?” You ask, as light starts to dot the horizon.
“Not really. I ride past here sometimes but there are always many people in the morning,” he says. “The sun rises over this side so I thought it would be a good place to go. And well, it’s beautiful and we’ve barely seen it.”
“I already like it. You can just hear the waves crash against the rocks and it’s so refreshing.”
He hums in agreement and asks you how you slept. You talk about the short dream you had and end up talking about the other ones you remember. Jungkook laughs at your stories again and tucks his head in your neck when he does. He holds you tight and shifts around when he senses your legs cramping up.
The sky continues to lighten, as orange and red hues peek out of the ocean.
And then the sun comes and you hold your breath like always. It’s so breathtaking and it feels even more surreal being where you are. It’s another sight that you’ll ingrain in your mind knowing that this time, there’s so much more meaning to it. It’s as if you’ve really come full circle - from that hike up in Chungbuk to Jeju a few months ago to right now.
Jungkook went from someone who was just around you to someone next to you and with you, and you’re filled with so much emotion, just thinking of how you got here.
The sun’s taken its place in the sky and you hum in satisfaction. It’s another one of those daily occurrences that you get to witness and be a part of, and you have the most amazing person you know holding you.
You turn to Jungkook and find that he’s already looking at you. His eyes soften and you smile and he smiles back.
You’re so beautiful this morning, just like you are everyday. But he finds that everyday is a new kind of beautiful, and he wants to keep finding new things about you to gush about. Whether it’s a new pitch of your voice when you’re whining about something, a different reaction when he teases you, another fascinating thought you have, or anything else, really.
He wants to keep learning about and experiencing life with you. He wants to keep holding your hand and settling into this home that both of you keep discovering and enjoying. He wants to—
“Kook, are you okay?” You cut through his thoughts.
“Yeah. Just thinking about how much I love you.”
Jungkook sees your face change into one of surprise. It doesn’t worry him though. Even if you don’t feel it yet, you might as well be close to it.
“Is it too soon? Too late?” He wonders.
He at least doesn’t want to put you off.
You look at the man with the prettiest eyes and child-like smile and think that he’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever met. To be loved by him is probably your greatest gift.
“Hmm, it’s actually perfect timing,” you say, gazing back to let him know just how much you feel, too.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking that I can’t like you more than I do now but I could. I could love you and I do, Kook. I… I really do love you.”
You’ve always been one to give in to your feelings and you feel them intensely. At this moment, it’s love that you’re filled with, and you feel it so much for the person in front of you.
He giggles and kisses you softly on the lips. You kiss him back then give him pecks on his cheek until he’s lying on his back and hugging you tightly.
It’s so freeing, as you listen to the ocean waves and the seagulls flying by and Jungkook’s racing heartbeat. It’s as if you’re able to feel all the comfort and passion you could possibly feel for someone and you want it to always be like this.
You settle back on your earlier spot and he wraps his arms around your waist again.
“So, uh. When you have the time, do you mind telling So-you that I won?” He says.
You look at him questioningly.
“I told you she cornered me after the ceremony and asked me if I was your boyfriend, right?” Jungkook starts. “So I explained we were friends and then we started dating and she asked if I plan on marrying you like her uncle Seokjin who was also just friends with her auntie Hayoung and well…”
“What!” You laugh, imagining your 10-year old niece interrogating Jungkook.
“Yeah and well, I said that we haven’t talked about getting married because we just started dating but that I love you so that should be a start,” he continues. “And so I got into this ‘who loves you more competition’ because she insisted it was her and while I understood where she was coming from, I couldn’t accept defeat and I insisted it was me. So we played all these games and your other nephews and nieces started playing along. I won everything but So-you didn’t want to declare me as winner.”
“Why not?”
“She said it’ll only count if I tell you. Because why does it matter if I love you if you don’t know that I do?”
“What a smart girl,” you laugh, thinking of how silly and incredibly adorable that whole exchange might have been.
“She is and she’s right. It matters that you know. And I wanted to tell you that night but I didn’t want you to think it was only because you let me enter coochie heaven naked.”
You laugh again.
“What about yesterday?” You wonder.
“I was going to, especially after seeing how good you were with my family but… I wanted to savor the feeling one last time,” he explains. “Just like when I liked you first and didn’t say anything, I just had these moments of feeling it all to myself and admiring you without expectations. And I get to release it all now and it feels really good.”
“You’re not too bad at expressing your feelings, you know that?” You smile at him, feeling overwhelmed and quite speechless at everything he’s saying.
“I try,” he whispers.
“I love you for it. And for everything else,” you assure him. “So maybe this beats the Jeju sunrise?”
“That was still special on its own. That version of us was trying to figure out if we could be each other’s home. This version…” he says, taking your hand for him to kiss. “This version knows we want to stay in this home for a long time.”
You let his words settle and pull his arms to hug you tighter. It’s all you need because he’s right.
You’ve settled into him, into this with him, and even into this version of yourself that embraces all types of emotions and basks herself in the love she receives and gives.
And as you spend the rest of the morning walking around town with his parents, and as you hold his hand while he drives back to Seoul, you think that he’s who you’ve been wishing for this whole time.
He’s the good that you hoped for and truly deserve, and you don’t think you could ever ask for anything more.
...that your struggles have always had to give up against you.
you might think that you had to lose against certain situations in life, but guess who is here today?
it's you! maybe not the version of yourself that you imagined but a version of you that has fought, gotten hurt, and yet prevailed to reach here, today.
be proud. you've been amazing. and keep going, no matter what ✨
Summary: Funny how things never stay the way they were. You navigate through a life without Jungkook while wading through buried memories – and realise that every path leads back to him.
➳ pairing:Jungkook x reader
➳ rating: 18+
➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating, partly college!au; angst, fluff, smut
➳ warnings: artist jkkkkk, still a birthday, a present, exhibition and artwork reveal!!, memories, flashbacks, talk about exes, talk about guilt, …frat party reveal i mean whut, jung hoseok lol, flirting, sexual tension, “how i, jk, met your mother” lmao i’m kidding, alcohol, insecurities, mean people, an absolute mess, yearning, we love tae, deep convos, overthinking; explicit sexual content: kissing/making out, grinding, stripping, fondling, tiddie sucking, oral (f. & m. receiving), fingering, they’re dorks ??, lmao the dialogues :’’), they play a game, protected sex, drunk (consensual) sex, dirty talk, biting, sl*t mention, teasing, jk moaninnnng, partly rough sex, big dick jk, dom jk, aftercare, weird ass bets lol, i was blushing real hard writing the smut; “the ending” warning has become a constant too so :’)
➳ word count: 31.7k 🥲
➳ a/n: what a big damn sigh i left out after finishing this one !! ugh, guys, thank you so much for sticking with me and waiting for this one. i truly hope it’s worth the wait… and their story shall only get better. thank you for betaing my love @missgeniality <3 as always, do lemme know what you guys think !! 🎨🤍
➳ a/n2: keep in mind that every past tense scene is a flashback !! 😁
➳ listen to: the only exception by paramore |full collaborative playlist 🤍
SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST
MASTERLIST | WIPs
The very first day of September begins with a letter between your fingertips.
love love love the plm jealousy drabble! can you also write a super needy, subby plm koo 🥹 only if you have the time and energy! Tysm 🫰🏻
This is 5 months late but here it is - my take on "subby" Koo even if I do not know how to write this kind of dynamic. But I tried with CK JK in mind so I hope you like it. There's also lots of fluff and teasing and walking down memory lane and this is me, making up for the past 2 angsty parts. 🙂
Title: Please Love Me Bonus (09) - The Lake House
WC: 16,648
Tags/Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, past illness; CK JK, lots of teasing and fluff; talks of past sexcapdes; explicit sexual content ("subby" JK & OC trying to be a "dom" (??), mutual masturbation, thigh riding, oral (m & f receiving), straddling, fingering, lots of kissing, penetrative sex, creampie??) (18+) I’m obviously unsure of my smut pls forgive me 😅😅
Series Masterlist
“Am I making your heart flutter again, Mrs. Jeon?”
Jungkook smirks as he asks, his body turning towards you when he reaches the stoplight.
Seated on the driver’s seat with his one hand on the wheel and the other one on yours, you shyly smile, knowing you’ve been caught, even if you weren’t really hiding your obvious attraction for your husband on this specific day.
He’s got the short sleeves of his plain white shirt rolled up, his arm tattoos looking bright under the summer sun. His hair is curlier than usual as it’s grown longer, and paired with the denim jeans that you asked him to wear, he’s an absolute stunner.
“You know the answer to that, hun,” you giggle, briefly looking away before he tugs your hand to look at him again.
“I wanna hear you say it, baby,” he urges, his eyebrows wiggling now.
You know that he’ll take any chance he has to hear you confirm that you’re ogling him, and well, you’ve told yourself that you’ll do that every few times just to see him be a giggly mess.
“You are, Kook,” you concede. “My heart’s non-threateningly leaping out of my chest right now. You’re so handsome and you’re so happy; it’s my favorite version of you.”
“Ah, I thought post-shower Jungkook is your favorite,” he teases. “But you also said that about post-sex Jungkook, and post-gym Jungkook, and Jungkook with his glasses on, and—”
“Oh stop it,” you laugh, getting flustered at him pointing out just how weak you are for him. He’s not wrong, though. “They’re all my favorites.”
“You can’t have more than one favorite though,” he playfully rolls his eyes.
“So then what’s your favorite version of me?” You ask, challenging him.
“The present one,” he winks. “Today’s you is my favorite as of today; yesterday’s you was my favorite as of yesterday, and then the day before that was… you get my drift. Each one has been my favorite and it changes everyday.”
“You’re a cheater,” you shake your head.
“I am a lover, babe. I love every version of you.”
You cover your face as you feel embarrassed for you and him, and you’re glad you’re the only two people who are witnessing your husband be incredibly cheesy, which happens every once in a while. You know he does it to make you laugh but you also know there’s truth to the things he says, no matter how cringey they could be sometimes. He loves you that way, and you like that he does.
“Do you love the version that upsets you, too? And that cries and gets sad when you’re away?” You wonder out loud, knowing that any reference to your recent fight and its aftermath doesn’t hurt you both as much as it used to.
It was two weeks ago when he took the 4-hour drive from Busan to Seoul to be with you, and you’ve both been more comfortable talking about the things that hurt since then. It’s how you managed to get back to how things were, playfulness included.
“Of course, babe,” he says, more serious and softer now. “I love you even when I’m angry. And even if it’s hard to see you cry, I love it when I get to hold you again. And then, you know, we have sex and then you talk dirty to me.”
“Kook!” You squeal, feeling your cheeks warm at the reminder.
You’re rarely ever vulgar during sex, letting Jungkook take the reins in all ways including vocally, but that night, you felt so much desire that you just wanted to push him a little, perhaps make him feel how he makes you feel, and your words did what you wanted them to. He came so hard and you basked in the joy that you could do that to him. Thinking about it now makes you shiver, and you truly can’t wait for the long weekend you’ve been afforded to go out of town and be together, knowing what you’ll be doing most of the time.
“Why are you shy about it?” He chuckles, taking your hand from your face and kissing it. “It was so fucking hot, okay? And since you don’t do it much, it surprises me whenever you do, and that’s just… shit I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
“Honey, behave,” you laugh, although the thought that he could get turned out at the memory of that night makes you giddy. Perhaps that version of you could show up in the next few days.
“I will,” he smiles sweetly now. “But you know it doesn’t matter, right? You could just be lying in bed and sounding the way you always do and that’s all I need. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. Just you.”
Your nose scrunches as you try to temper your smile, but it gives him more reasons to tease you.
“Your heart fluttering again?” He wiggles his eyebrows now.
You pout in response and he can’t help but laugh, and the sound of it warms your heart in ways you can’t fully express. You were without it for weeks, as you recall the days following your stint at the hospital, how Jungkook had been cold to you until things blew over, and how he was distant right after because he didn’t know how to handle all his conflicting emotions towards you. Looking back now, your biggest fight since getting married was because of how much love you both have for each other, and that says a lot about how far you’ve come.
Despite the weeks since then having been tough for Jungkook because of the meetings and project preparations he had to manage, he made sure to go home to you, hug you every night, message when he can’t call, and let you know that he needs you even when he’s just about ready to pull his hair from stress. And you were there, letting him lay on your chest, massaging his head, and kissing him constantly to let him know that you’ll weather the storm with him, no matter how tough things get.
After getting things going and delegating the tasks for his project, Jungkook got the approval from his father to get two days off, which is why you’re both on the way to Busan, having missed home so much. You’ve both only visited since you got married but never stayed long enough to go around, and like what you both promised each other, you’ll make new memories in the places that hold unpleasant ones. Home felt the same but you’re both different now, and the flirty smile that Jungkook gives you is evidence of that.
Perhaps it’s his feeling of temporary freedom that makes him look a lot more handsome today; he’s smiling and laughing and teasing, and it’s when his youthfulness shines. Perhaps it’s the way the sun highlights his caramel skin, or the way his curls fall on his shoulders, or maybe it’s the casual look that isn’t his usual sweatshirt and joggers ensemble that’s making him look even more irresistible. Maybe it’s everything, as he bops his head to the sounds of his playlist, his carefree vibe somehow making him glow.
Maybe you’re just as excited, and so everything he’s done since this morning is probably just preparing you for what’s to come.
You’d stopped to watch him dress up earlier and commented that he could be a jeans and underwear model, and he’d laughed, saying that in contrast to his younger years, he no longer feels comfortable walking in his boxers around strangers. He had to clarify that he joined some community fashion show during one of his backpacking trips because his companion convinced him and he was a hit; everyone was cheering and then flirting with him afterwards. He’s done with that, he’d said. You’re the only one he wants to see him that way; he’d give you a private show if you wanted, he teased.
During your stopover at a cafe for breakfast, he was sitting on the chair with his legs spread wide while sipping his coffee, and you allowed yourself just about a minute to imagine climbing on his lap and marking his pretty neck while he moaned your name.
And this whole drive, he’d been nothing but a tease - combing his hair with his fingers, dragging his tongue along his lips just because, and singing along to love songs while smirking at you. All the while, you’re smiling like a giddy teenager admiring her crush, and Jungkook makes sure to call you out on it. But you don’t mind, really, not when he stops at a shoulder on the road just to kiss the pout off your face and tell you that he becomes such a giddy mess every time he sees you be a mess yourself for him.
“Kook,” you whine against his mouth, wanting it all over you even if you know it’s not the time nor place. “We have to go to our grandparents’. You know they don’t like it when we’re late.”
“They miss us too much to get angry,” he argues, as he presses kisses down your neck.
“We’re still out on the road and in public,” you counter, panting now as your pleasure increases. “And I don’t want to go into that lunch with messy underwear because that’s what’s about to happen. Please, hun, I—” your moan cuts you off when his fingers press onto your clothed pussy, feeling now the effect he has on you.
“Hmm, baby,” he groans, suddenly frustrated at not being able to do anything more right now.
He shouldn’t have teased you like this but he also couldn’t go on another minute not kissing you after you looked at him the way you’ve been all morning. There’s this perpetual desire in your eyes, as if you’re savoring every action that he makes, perhaps coming up with scenarios in your head that he hopes you’d play out once you’re both alone. He suddenly wants to fast forward to tonight for that, knowing it’ll take you until the early hours of the morning to get fully satisfied.
“We should save all this energy for later, okay?” You say, taking his fingers that felt you up in your mouth, wanting to get back at him but also wanting to excite him; his hardened gaze says you succeeded. “In the meantime, we have to act like the precious, wholesome couple that our grandparents think we are.”
“Hey, we’re wholesome sometimes,” Jungkook laughs, willing himself to pull away from you and continue driving. “But, uh, do you think they’ll ask us about having children again? I don’t really know what to tell them; we can’t really ask them to not be on our business like we can with our parents. I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I know, same here,” you sigh. “But Mother told me that she told them not to bring it up, since I have to focus on getting healthy again after what happened. Hopefully our grandparents won’t hound us about it.”
“If they do, then let’s just be honest.”
“And say what?”
“That we’re living our best lives and we’ve decided to let life surprise us,” Jungkook says. “And that it’ll come. And when it does, it’s gonna be really special because we prepared ourselves for it. Because that’s what we’re doing, right?”
“It is,” you smile, liking how he’s able to talk about having children in a casual manner now, with less of the fear and more of the excitement.
You may still be just letting things take its course - with some false alarms along the way - but the challenges in between have been helpful in preparing yourselves for eventually starting a family. You know that when it happens, it’s going to be everything you imagined it to be.
Your grandparents’ estate is not far from the beach. They bought a humble home in this area decades ago and slowly expanded the property by buying the surrounding land, until they were able to build a large main house with smaller living quarters for when their children and grandchildren visit.
The garden is large and well-designed. You claimed a section of it when you were young. It’s where you had your playhouse set up because playing in it was the only thing you could do; you weren’t allowed to run around like Seokjin and Soyeon were. There was a spot where you laid your mat to play with your dolls; as you grew older, it became the place where you’d read books or paint or draw. The playhouse is still there, a little old and rusty but you imagine your future children playing in there one day.
There’s a tall tree in the center and you stand underneath. It’s the one that used to shade you when you would watch your siblings play with the Jeons.
Apparently, it’s also the spot of your first picture with your husband, as you find out from your grandparents. Your grandmother holds an old photo they recovered from one of their albums - you and Jungkook at 2 years old, standing next to each other, with him in a red hooded jacket and you in a yellow sundress. There’s distance in between, but you’re both posing the way little kids do, and you can’t stop gushing over how adorable you both looked.
“Honey, look at us!” You giggle. “Two years before you started disliking me.”
“You mean, 2 years before you rejected me?” He counters, pouting at you.
You both pose the same way for another photo - Jungkook with a peace sign by his head and you with your close-lipped, sweet smile - and lay the polaroid next to the old picture, over 25 years apart. It’s amazing how things play out, you think to yourself as you gaze at them. Life does surprise you, and realizing it decades later is a different kind of special.
Jungkook makes you take another photo so he has a copy, and you indulge him, knowing he gets pretty sentimental about these things. He said once that he wishes he had more of your joint childhood to remember and treasure, but much of that only lives in your mind because you’re the one who always paid attention; he was the one who tried not to mind you even if you were right next to him, the jealousy clouding his mind. Which is why whatever piece of your past he finds, he’ll take it, if only to put together the puzzle of your lives back then, and smile because even if he doesn’t remember much of that, he remembers everything about this - your now and everyday.
He goes through other old photo albums of your grandparents, telling his grandparents that he’ll check their stack as well when you both visit on your last day. It’s stories of the yesteryears that fill the air as you finish your meal, and you’re thankful that everyone is immersed in the stories to even bring up your sickness or your future family.
The sound of Jungkook’s laughter fills your heart once more, and as he pulls you close under that same tree for a kiss, you think that it’s another new memory you’re going to hold dear.
Pulling up to the side of the road, Jungkook turns off the engine and meets you by the railings overlooking a semi-private beach. It’s one of several in town and Jungkook’s favorite. This is where he first learned to surf and he spent much of his time here with Jimin and Taehyung.
He tells you this as you both walk down the steps to get to the shore, reminiscing the days when things were much simpler.
“So that’s why you chose this for your 13th birthday party,” you say, looking around. “It’s gorgeous, Kook.”
“You knew I had it here?” He looks at you curiously, immediately thinking that Junghyun had told you.
“Yeah, I could tell from that big rock,” you say, pointing to it near the shore. “You had photos there and your brother told me how your mom was yelling at you to not jump from it. I… I asked him to show me pictures when he visited me at the hospital. I told him I wanted to see how happy you were.”
“You were recovering from surgery but you were still thinking about me, huh?” Jungkook says, a sigh almost escaping his lips at the thought.
“You were really excited about it and I was sad I couldn’t go. If I was strong enough, I would have, but I guess you wouldn’t have noticed either way,” you laugh, knowing that Jungkook didn’t pay much attention to you then.
“I was pretty bitter, actually,” he admits. “You were supposed to be family but you didn’t come - that was the thought in my head. Silly, right? And pretty childish.”
“You didn’t know, Kook,” you assure him. “So you were looking for me?”
“Sort of,” he laughs. “I was being petty. I remember not wanting to ask hyung where you were so I never did, but I just chalked it up to you never attending parties anyway, so what would be different about me?”
“Yours was the only party I would actually go to, but I didn’t want to be the boring girl to you who just sat at the table while everyone enjoyed,” you reason. “So I never went to the ones after that. I always wanted to, though. But that doesn’t really matter now, does it?” You turn to him and smile before you wrap his arms around your waist. “I’m literally family and we’re here together. I think this is a nice good memory to make.”
“It is,” he says, kissing your cheek. “I’m glad I took you here with me. Immature 13-year old Jungkook can get over it now. If I told him I’d be marrying you 12 years later, he’d probably cuss me out.”
“You were cursing at 13?!”
“Yeah. Don’t tell my Mother.”
You laugh together as you head back to the car, the late afternoon heat starting to prick at your skin. It’s been a long day but you’re nowhere near done. You take the half-hour drive to your home for the next few days, a place that holds a lot of unpleasant memories for you, which is why you insisted on staying there.
One of the Jeons’ beach houses would’ve been an easy choice, but when you told him where you wanted to go, he immediately understood.
With your luggage bags in his hands, Jungkook looks around the graveled pathway and at the cabin in front of him. “So this is the place, huh?”
The place, he repeats in his head - the one where you found refuge in when you wanted to be away from him after he’d hurt you. That fight before your wedding was years ago but sometimes, it still feels like not much time has passed. He gets to see where you spent your days though, and while that may remind you of how hard it was back then, you could at least remember it now as a place where you both spent your weekend together.
“This is the main house,” you say, ringing the doorbell and greeting the caretaker who welcomes you. You smile at the lake view just across; it calms your senses as it did all those years ago. “They only allow a small percentage of land to be used for residential purposes. When my siblings and I got older, my parents wanted to give us our own spaces, so they bought the surrounding areas so we can build our own houses however we want.”
You walk out to a covered pathway that leads you to your own piece of paradise - a one-floor home with a veranda that’s overlooking the lake. It has an open floor plan with the kitchen and dining on the left of the entrance. At the center is a freestanding wall that separates the sleeping area from the living room, both spaces having a good view of the water. The corner on the left houses your painting materials, giving you access to the outside where the magic happens.
There’s a stretch of land down the steps towards another walkway that juts out to the lake, and as you lean by the railing, you take in everything that you see. It’s been years but a lot of things look the same, and just like this city, it still is; it’s you and the man next to you who are different.
“So what did you do while you were here?” He asks, trying to imagine how you spent your days while he wasted away in your apartment in Seoul.
“I… cried,” you admit. “I was upset but I still missed you. But I also painted a bit, read books… Most times I just sat here. It’s so picturesque, you don’t really get tired of it. It helped because I kept thinking about you being alone and worried even if I wasn’t ready to speak with you then.”
“I was thinking of you a lot back then, too,” he says, facing you now and taking your hand. “I hated that you were alone and I didn’t know how to get to you. But I guess I should thank this place, too, for letting you breathe and letting you think. Is that how you forgave me?”
“It was,” you smile. “After my emotions settled, I thought that one day, I’d like to bring you here. I’m glad I could do that now.”
Jungkook smiles at you softly before his eyes turn desirous. “So are you gonna paint and read books and just sit out here this time, too?”
“Hmm, I could,” you smile back. “But I was also thinking of making love to you here. I think that would be nice.”
“It would be,” he hums, cupping your cheek now and pulling you in for a kiss. “We could probably start now, huh?”
His free hand sneaks inside your dress to cup your breast, and you jerk when he flicks your pert bud and you’re taken out of his spell.
“Honey, I’d love that but we have a dinner reservation soon,” you say, pulling away. “It’s jazz night and we said we’d catch that.”
Jungkook doesn’t look disappointed. He agreed with tonight, after all, and he thinks he’d just be craving more and more if you started anything right now, so he lets you go for a shower while he unpacks his things.
He looks out the water as the sun starts to set and spots the two other houses not far away. It seems as though those have been renovated, with extra rooms for your siblings’ kids now, and Jungkook wonders when you’ll have your own place extended for another room.
He lets the thought settle in, as he continues to get used to the idea of having a family with you. It would be nice, he imagines, driving off during long weekends to come here and enjoy the scenery and just spend time together. Your children would grow up knowing their great-grandparents, running around the same garden and beaches that he did, perhaps playing with your old toys, too. He knows those have been preserved at your request, waiting for the perfect time to give them away.
You call out to him and he turns around to find you in a simple linen dress, the neckline low enough for your tattoo to make an appearance. You look stunning, as always, and he has to stop himself from pulling you for another kiss.
He gets ready and goes out in a white button-up long-sleeve polo, loose enough for the cool summer evening. He catches you staring at him again, and he smirks at you to let you know that once dinner is over, your long night will begin.
The restaurant is just 10 minutes away by car. It’s fancy yet still cozy, serving some of his favorite elevated local dishes. The jazz performance is great, and with a small crowd, the singer encourages the guests to take the dance floor and that’s what Jungkook does, taking your hand and asking you to dance with him.
You’re shy at first but give in. Flushed against his chest, you both sway more than anything, and inhaling his ocean scent while he caresses your back, you feel that warmth that only his love can give, the kind of warmth you’ll constantly seek.
You finish your glass of wine before you head back to the car, with Jungkook laughing over something on his phone right before you leave, saying that the guys’ group chat is blowing up.
“What are they up to now?” You ask.
“Tae did this stranger role play with his girlfriend,” he shares. “You know, when they pretend like they don’t know each other and pick each other up?”
“O… kay. And then?”
“He got made up to look like some old Hollywood actor with the red jacket and slick hair and all. And people flocked to him to flirt before he could even get to his girlfriend. I can imagine she wanted to stop it all right then,” Jungkook narrates.
“Why don’t they just stay at their place and flirt there?” You say. “They can even dress up if they want to. Why go through the struggle?”
“Because it’s fun!” Jungkook exclaims. “There’s a kind of thrill from doing that, especially in a public place. The usual role play can get a bit over-the-top sometimes.”
“And you know that because… you’ve done it?” You ask, ready for his answer because you’re used to him just casually mentioning his previous sex adventures by now.
“Just the usual,” he shrugs. “Boss-secretary, doctor-patient… She was into it and I went along because sure, why not?”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Is that a trick question?” He asks, as he parks the car.
“No…” you answer. “I’m just wondering if role playing is something you like. If it is, then we can, I don’t know. Maybe try?”
He furrows his brows at you as you both enter your house, curious as to why you’re suggesting it when he knows it’s something that would make you uncomfortable.
“Or like… uh, what else could we do?” You wonder out loud.
“Baby, we don’t have to do anything else,” he says, pulling you by the waist now. “If this is about you wanting to be ‘adventurous’ to appease me, then I’m gonna stop you right there.”
“I was just curious,” you pout. “I mean, it’s no secret that you’ve done a lot of these… ‘adventurous’ things with your partners - sex in a tent, in an alley, behind a waterfall… a sex show, and role playing as well? I guess I’m just wondering if you want us to do something exciting, too. If you’re still into that.”
“Baby, why would I want something else ‘exciting’ when I’ve got you?” He says, his onyx eyes boring into you to let you know that he means every word. “I married the prettiest girl in the world. Why would sex with you not be exciting? You know how fast I get hard with you. That’s… that’s exciting.”
You feel your cheeks warm again because he’s right. He does get hard pretty fast.
“Plus, we’ve skinny dipped, had sex in a caravan, in the car, on a deck…” he continues. “But to be honest, you could just be lying down and I’d be all set.”
“That’s literally all I do,” you laugh embarrassingly.
He’s always known that you like things simple. Sure, you give in to Jungkook’s requests, but most of the time, you settle for the same positions that you know give so much pleasure. You’re content; you just wonder if he is, too.
“Not all the time,” he corrects. “And those are just as exciting as when you’re coming undone under me and moaning my name, your perfect tits bouncing and your tattoo reminding me how much you love me.” He kisses your neck and you sigh in satisfaction at the movement. “I could get hard just thinking about that.”
You merely hum in response, not able to move on from it. You want to surprise him, maybe go out of your comfort zone to excite him differently, and so your wandering mind continues, something he picks up.
“Okay. Why don’t you… take control this time,” he suggests. “It’s nothing crazy. It’s just you directing me what you want me to do, how you want me to do it… anything.”
“That’s fine, hun, except there are times when I try to do that but you get so impatient and touch me right away,” you counter, chuckling now as you recall the times you direct him what position you want but his mind goes blank once things intensify and so he’s got his mouth and fingers inside and on you in seconds.
“Fine, then we’ll do it without me being able to use my hands, then,” he says. “I’ll only use them when you ask, and stop when you ask. Are you okay with that?”
Your mind thinks of all the scenarios you’ve been playing in your mind all day, and you lick your lips in anticipation.
“Looks like you are,” he says proudly, excitedly. “I guess then, we can start?”
You nod your yes. “You’ll be good for me?”
“Fuck, yes,” he groans, his eyes widening in anticipation. “I’ll be so good for you, baby.”
“Kook, that wasn’t meant to be dirty talk or whatever,” you giggle. “I just meant that you’ll be good in following the instructions you set out.”
“Don’t care baby. Don’t take it back. But say it again, please?”
The way his eyes plead does something to you, and so you let your inhibitions go and follow what your pussy says. And right now, it wants to command Jungkook.
You bite your lip before kissing him softly on the neck, trailing up until you reach his ear.
“You’ll be good for me?” You whisper sultrily this time.
He releases an incredibly deep grunt before he answers. “Yes, baby. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Okay,” you pant, feeling your heart race now. “Kiss me. Just kiss me.”
Your mouths crash against each other, desperate and wanting in their movements. Your tongues fight for dominance but he lets you take this, liking how you aggressively take him in and pull his hair, causing him to moan, even more as his hands remain at his sides, aching to touch you but he promised he’ll be good; he promised to let you take control even if all he wants right now is to rip off your clothes and make out with your body.
You moan as well, slowing down now as you try to catch your breath. You face him, your eyes glassy and your lips swollen, and he seems to like what he sees. You take his balled-up fists and unclench them, placing them over his top.
“Undress please,” you say softly. “And do it slowly.”
Jungkook follows, his fingers working on the buttons carefully, skillfully, making sure you get to see and remember what those digits could do to you. He can’t wait for you to direct him to work those on you later on.
He gets everything undone and so he removes it - slowly, as you asked.
You gaze at his toned body, crafted by immaculate beings themselves as they created him so perfectly - the tautness of his chest, the line down his torso that branches out to his abs, the narrowness of his waist, all complementing the gorgeous face that you also can’t get enough of.
His jeans hang right underneath the white band of his underwear, and though you love this look on him, you like something better.
“Pants off,” you say this time.
And he follows, undoing the button and unzipping his jeans, pushing them off him until they pool on his ankle. His feet do the work of ridding himself of the heavy material, and all the while, his eyes are set on you - dark with lust and challenging you to do more, to ask him of more.
“Sit on the couch for me, baby,” the pet name coming out during tense moments like this.
He walks there as you say, and you watch his half-naked form move away from you, and it’s making you go feral.
“Where do you want my hands?” He asks when you’re finally standing in front of him.
“Just on the side,” you answer, your mind going hazy as you admire him seated on the couch now, his legs spread enough for you to see the stiff member in between.
His eyes remain on you but you’re staring at his gorgeous lap and those blue boxer briefs he’s wearing, shaping him in all the right ways. You take this time to ready yourself, removing your dress for him to observe. With your lace underwear, you know you’ve got him craving for you. His jaw tightens and you know just how to ruin him.
You kneel down in front of him and he seems to know what you’re up to, as he clenches his fists to control himself. He looks like he really wants to break his own rules now. But you push on, meeting his eyes before licking a strip over his clothed cock. It’s hardened even more now, and you can’t wait for what you’re about to ask him to do. You softly bite the flesh, feeling him strain his thighs as you tease him relentlessly.
Once you think you’ve teased him enough, you look up at him. “I want to see,” you whisper. “Take it out for me, show me what I do to you.”
He grunts before he follows, taking his cock out of his boxer brief, begging in his mind that you’d let him at least squeeze it because with you in your underwear on, commanding him like this while still maintaining your softness and hints of shyness, he’s losing his mind; he’s in real pain right now.
“Do you think about me when you’re away?” You ask.
“Yes, baby. I think about you all the time.”
“What do you think about?”
“Kissing you,” he grunts. “Tasting you, sucking every sensitive part of you, making love to you. Fuck, baby, I could go on.”
“Can you show me what you do when you think about those things?” You say, taking deep breaths now as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to see.
Jungkook sighs in relief and gets to it, squeezing his throbbing member and stroking it as you requested. He wouldn’t have known that this is what you wanted him to do. He’s obviously touched himself during the times before sex, and he also really does it when he’s away from you, but doing it this way - on the couch while you now stand before him, your eyes watching his every move - it’s exhilarating.
He continues his movement, getting into it completely as he takes in the way you look, especially with your parted mouth and heaving chest as you watch him pleasure himself to the sight of you. It seems like you’re in a daze, as your eyes don’t move away from him.
It’s the way his perfect slender fingers wrap around his thick, hard cock. It’s the way they glide, how his thumb occasionally presses the tip, how he starts to heave, feeling the pleasure build up, and how his head leans back and his back arches, revealing the column of his smooth neck, a perfect canvas for you to mark later on. You don’t stop the moan that you release, wanting to get into it, too, as the sight of your husband touching himself to the thought of you is so captivating. Seeing that this is what he does when he’s missing you makes you giddy, and you get to marvel at all of that right now.
You sit on the coffee table, your eyes still not leaving him. You feel the dampness in your underwear, so you press your fingers onto it for that much-needed friction, and you’re left wanting more. You remove it, feeling the string of essence stick to you and disappear as you throw your lace clothing on his side.
You touch yourself, too, your fingers drowning in how wet you are. They aid in your own pleasure, as you rub patterns on your clit that has Jungkook’s eyes widening in shock as you get into your own action, quickening by the second. Your eyes drift away briefly from him as your thighs start to shake, only being brought back when you hear him ask you to “open up.”
You spread your legs wider to give him a view, knowing that will help him. You want him to reach that peak, and you want to see him do so, since you miss out most of the time because you’re too caught up in the haze of how he pleasures you. You continue with your movements, speeding up once you feel you’re close to the edge, and Jungkook matches your pace, only for you to crash first.
“Oh my god,” you heave, feeling the mess you’ve made of yourself, and seeing it, too, as it pools on the coffee table.
“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook groans, his hand still working on his cock. “That’s so hot, I’m— fuck, I’m close. I want to come, baby. Fuck.”
He looks at you like he’s pleading, but you want to be selfish. You want to hold onto this scene of Jungkook pleasuring himself like this.
“Just a little bit more,” you end up saying out loud.
He concedes, knowing he’s given you all control. He slows down a bit, just so he won’t make a mess before you’ve asked him to.
You see his thighs shaking, his jaw clenching so tightly, and the veins from his hands and arms popping out form how much he’s controlling himself.
“Fuck, baby. I can’t take it anymore,” he pants.
You don’t want him to suffer. You’ve ingrained this scene in your mind already, so you tell him he can come, and the grunt that he releases will live in your mind, too. He paints his torso with his slick, but you get to him before it all ends, as you kneel back down and take his dick in your hand to swallow all that’s left.
“Shit, baby,” he groans again, taking you in with your eyes closed, lapping him up as you lick him off. “You drive me crazy. That was so hot.”
You sweetly smile at him before spotting his cum on his abs, perfectly placed on the dips and ridges, tempting you to clean him up.
And that’s what you do, as you lean forward and lick what’s remaining of his seed, your tongue gliding upwards and to the sides of his stunning plane. You lick and suck each patch of skin in your way, and you feel him still shaking a little bit, perhaps still coming down from his high. You get to his nipples, dark and beautiful as you nibble on them while trailing up to meet him in a searing kiss, letting him taste himself on you.
“I’m sorry for making you hold back,” you whisper against his lips, meaning it because you could tell he’d really wanted to come.
“No need to, babe,” he responds, heaving. “That was so sexy; I was losing my mind.”
You giddily smile, and Jungkook doesn’t know how you can maintain that sweetness while saying words and doing things that make him breathless.
“Can you go again?” You ask, eyeing his flaccid cock and licking your lips.
“As much as you want me to,” he replies, his body tensing in anticipation once more when you trace his dick with your fingers, tugging on the hem of his boxer brief until you’re pulling it off him completely.
You place it on his side and return to kneeling in front of him, capturing his gaze and savoring the look of him naked and willing. “I really like that brand of underwear.”
“I’ve been wearing that since I was a teenager.”
“I know,” you hum, earning him a cocked eyebrow from you. “You used to wear those low rise jeans that showed your brief’s waistband, and then you’d pull up your shirt or do cartwheels or anything to show off. It wasn’t hard to miss.”
You giggle at the memory, recalling how anytime Jungkook revealed slivers of skin when you were both in your teens, you’d get flustered and look away. Your siblings and Junghyun didn’t miss how nervous you’d been then, saying that your little crush grew up with the both of you.
“Ah, yeah. It made the girls go wild,” he smugly says.
“That includes me now. It’s probably the tiny waist,” you say, kissing him there, your hair dangling over his skin that causes him to curse.
“Or the strong thighs.” You spread his legs open so you can kiss him in places, too, finding his sensitive parts and licking him there. He stiffens at your movements, his clenched fists clenching even more, and when you look at his dazed eyes, you know you’ve got him wanting again.
“Fuck, fuck, baby,” he heaves, losing breath once more.
“Or, to those lucky enough to see it, your pretty cock,” you smile sweetly again, as if your words aren’t sending him in a spiral.
Perhaps all the times that you’d ogled at him quietly isn’t so bad, Jungkook thinks, knowing that this is how you are once you finally voice them out. You’re so enchanting like this, as the lust in your eyes is tinged with that love and adoration you have for him. It’s such a turn on, but it’s also turning him into mush.
He watches you as you suck his balls and then lick a strip up his member that’s now stiffened from your words. You take him in - slow and deep - before swirling your tongue around and he seriously could cry. You’re teasing him but giving so much at the same time; his mind and body don’t know what to do.
“But it’s all yours now, baby,” he drawls, tempted to break his rule and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “This body’s all yours and you can do whatever you want with it.”
You pop his cock out of your mouth and smile at him. “I will. That’s why I will admire it all I want.”
You stand up and look down at him, liking the anticipation in his eyes. You remove your bra and proceed to sit on his thigh, your slick sticking to his skin immediately.
“You can touch me a little with one hand,” you mumble, humming once you let him cup your cheek first.
“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he moans, tracing your lower lip with his thumb before sliding it inside your mouth.
You suck on it while meeting his eyes, and he pulls it away before a moan escapes you, his wet finger now tracing circles on your pert nipple. His smooth hand with patches of callouses from his workouts caresses your bare body, fondling your breasts and pulling your face close for a kiss. It’s right after when you take his hand and place it on his side, signaling that his time for exploration is over.
You’re in control again, as you slowly grind against his taut thigh, perfect for the friction you badly need.
“You’re so beautiful, Kook,” you smile, combing your fingers through his curly locks. “I like your long hair,” you say. “You kinda look like a rockstar.”
He chuckles at your remark, a little thankful for the change in your tone. “So I’ve been told. That’s why grandfather asked me to cut it. I said I need something to pull when I’m stressed since work is driving me up a wall and they’re all pushing me too hard.”
“Hmm, still talking back to your elders, I see,” you laugh. “Nothing’s changed, Kook.”
“I’m a lot braver now because I’m with you,” he winks. “You’re kind of my shield, you know? You protect me from them so I can be honest. They gave me shit for my tattoos but they stopped once you got yours.”
You hum in satisfaction at the thought, knowing that you could do this for him.
“Guess I’ll have to comment during lunch with them that I love your long hair and your grandfather won’t ask you to get rid of it,” you giggle. “He quite adores me and trusts my taste.”
“Nothing’s changed, indeed,” he laughs, knowing that even from his side, they adore you wholeheartedly.
“I love hearing you laugh, hun,” you say, causing him to smile at your words. “You look so free and happy and so full of love.”
“And that’s because of you,” he responds, his voice low and serious and it does something to you again. “You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want in this life.”
You nod to let him know you feel the same, but it gets you going, with you wanting to keep on admiring him. And you do, kissing him tenderly with your arms around his neck as your fingers comb his hair. You continue to slide against him and his moans in between tell you how into it he is.
Your lips slide down to his jaw and then to his neck, alternating between its smooth expanse to the stunning canvass of his chest. It’s soft kisses turned to playful nibbles turned to desperate sucking, as you take all of him in and express your adoration with marks and bruises that will stay with him. You’re rarely able to do this because he’s always the one on you so you take your time, liking the rise and fall of his chest and the moans and curses he lets out and the way he tries to hold back any other movement from the one you’re directing him to do, which is nothing.
So you give him something, reaching out for his hand and guiding it to his cock that’s hard right now. “Touch yourself please,” you ask, your hand still on top of his as he strokes his member like you instructed.
“Keep going, okay? I just want to see you this way,” you whisper in his ear. “You’ll get to touch me soon.”
“Yes, baby,” he moans, cursing as you increase your pace of thrusting against his thigh.
You suck his neck, feeling his head bopping to his own movements and hearing the vibrations from his throat. You finally sit back up to watch him touch himself, the same movements from earlier driving you just as crazy. His parted mouth makes you want it on you, so you ask him to kiss your body, and he happily complies.
“Fuck, yes,” he grunts once his mouth is on your breast, aggressively licking and sucking just like you did on his neck. “You’re so hot, baby. I could suck your tits forever.”
“Hmm, I’d love that.”
Jungkook gets lost in the softness of your breasts. It’s perfectly shaped and feels so good in his mouth. He knows how to get you going, so he does all the licking and sucking and tricks he knows. It’s hard when he could bust any moment as he pleasures himself; it’s tough not being able to touch you, too, but he’d take this scenario any day. Hearing you instruct him what to do drives him wild, even more with your giddy and soft eyes looking back at him before it turns lustful.
Your moans are louder now; your thrusts are getting erratic, too. Jungkook wants to savor this but he also wants to reach his high with you. But you take his free hand first and direct it to your cunt, and his curses again at being able to feel exactly how wet you are.
His fingers find your throbbing clit right away. Bent a little back, you give him space to play with you, getting lost in it once again because even with limited movement, he knows just what to do.
Jungkook works his way on your cunt while he continues to stroke himself. It’s insanely pleasurable. It’s also getting hard and painful, and so it’s music to his ears when you say that you want him inside you.
He lets go of his cock for you to slide down on, and the relief of your velvet walls makes him shiver. It’s like being out in the cold and then being wrapped up in something warm; your pussy is all the comfort he needs.
But you’re still in control, he reminds himself, as you thrust on your own pace before you’re bouncing on top of him. Seeing your breasts bounce with you is disarming; you’re so sexy like this and he has to remind himself that you’re his wife and he’s truly able to be blessed by this sight everyday.
You collapse on his chest, flushed against him as you catch your breath. But you keep going, grinding against him slowly. He takes the opportunity to nibble your ear and you don’t complain, so he keeps going, sucking your neck until you’re moaning and bouncing on him again. You sit back up and turn to him, and he captures your breast in his mouth. That’s when you lose it, feeling an out-of-body experience where all your nerves are heightened and stimulated so you give in.
“Take control, baby,” you moan. “I want to come all over your cock and I want you to come inside me.”
You say it to challenge him, to get him going, and that’s what happens, as he growls and immediately lays you on the couch because even as he loves this view of you, there’s still nothing like seeing the pleasure on your face when he’s on top of you, pushing to the depths of your hole and hitting you where you want it.
Your hair creates a halo and you look absolutely stunning, ready and desperate for him, as you whisper that you love him, that you want to feel him inside of you.
Jungkook thrusts hard. He’s got your legs spread so he can hold your thighs up and you can touch yourself while he’s reaching that spot that only he can. You both watch as he slides in and out, and it’s messy and obscene and erratic and every bit as good as it can get. You’re screaming by this time, and when he feels your legs shake, he goes even harder.
He kisses you, wanting to swallow in your moans when you finally let go, and you do, after a deep thrust that sends you over the edge. But he continues, chasing his high as well. He gets there when you whisper in his ear, feeling as if his body’s on fire with your words.
“Come for me, baby. You’re so good to me,” you moan. “No one can make me feel good like this. You’re all I need, baby. You’re all I want.”
He loses it every time you praise him like that and you know this, and that’s why you always say it at the end, when you want to bask in his essence just as he basks in yours.
You feel his warmth coating your walls, and just as you’re about to shiver from the sound of his end-of-sex moans in your ear, he turns to face you - damp hair and heaving chest - and his look softens, his small smile appearing before kissing you tenderly.
“I love you, so so much, baby,” he mumbles against your lips. “Every version, every day.”
You giddily smile at him again and wrap your arms around his neck to pepper his face with kisses. You pull him on top of you until he shifts to lay on your side, afraid to suffocate you after what was an intense period of lovemaking, which really started from when you’d asked him to take his clothes off.
“How was that?” You ask, turning to face him.
“Baby, did you see me?” He chuckles. “I was a mess.”
“Yeah, me too,” you laugh, nodding towards the droplets of cum you left on the coffee table. “I… I kinda let myself go earlier.”
“And it was so fucking sexy,” he praises. “But did you like it? Did you like being in control and teasing me like that?”
“I did,” you giggle. “You were pretty pliant, too. Not gonna lie, I was surprised. I thought you were gonna be whiny about it.”
“I was losing my shit,” he admits. “But I kinda made the rules and it was so hot hearing you tell me what to do. Or, well, ask. You’re still pretty polite about it.”
You laugh along with him but he assures you that he doesn’t mind it, and that he’s glad you don’t try to change just because you’re with him. The last thing he wants is for you to feel like you have to be adventurous or daring just to make him happy.
“I know I talk about my reckless and thrill-seeking past like it’s a badge of honor but it doesn’t mean that I’m not satisfied with our safer, more comfortable way of living,” he tells you. “I don’t yearn for anything more than what we do, okay? You literally turn me on with whatever you’re doing or wearing so don’t think I’d want you to be or do anything else, babe. I get to kiss you and make love to you all I want and that’s it… I’m a happy man.”
You scrunch your nose and giddily smile at his words, hiding your flushed face on his chest.
“And when you lose your shit like that because of me… it’s pretty special, too,” he adds, hugging you now.
You turn to face him and soften at how he fondly looks at you.
“You… ignite something in me, Kook,” you say. “Coming here after so long reminded me a bit of how it was back when I left. I was emotional because it hurt, and it was because I cared about you; I always did. Junghyun told me how distraught you were and I let myself believe that you cared about me, too. That’s what made me go back to you and try to make it work. And being back here… I just can’t believe how far we’ve come.”
You caress his face and he kisses your hand, the sparkles in his eyes making your heart race once more.
“You make me love so certainly and so passionately,” you add. “It’s thrilling, loving you like this. And we can argue or have issues or feel off with each other sometimes but if at the end of it, we can forgive ourselves and each other then it’s okay. We love hard and I know that’s how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
It’s his turn to scrunch his nose now and smile, choosing to kiss you deeply as he pulls you in a hug instead of saying anything more. You’ve said it all, he thinks; he knows you know he feels the same.
But still, you ask. “Have I left you speechless now, Mr. Jeon?”
He laughs at your teasing. “I don’t know why you say you’re not good with words. I… I needed to hear them, babe. Being here and knowing where you spent your days while I was wallowing in guilt and misery at home hits me but doing all this now with you reminds me that we got through that. And we got through the past weeks, too.”
“Thank you for taking a short break to be with me here,” you say, kissing him.
“Baby, I wouldn’t pass up on any break from work,” he laughs. “But hyung assured me that I could. He knows I need to be with you after all that.”
You sigh in relief as you hug him, feeling the knots and bolts of his body melt away like yours are. Being together is like that for both of you, you think. Your love - in whatever form it’s expressed - is healing; it’s rejuvenating. It’s the kind you give so much of yourself to but feel like you’re becoming whole, complete, yet there’s still space for more.
You’re glad your parents made that deal with the universe to save you all those years ago. It made you live long enough to experience this.
A small smile forms on Jungkook’s face as he watches your soft, steady breathing. You seem to be in a deep sleep - a good one - he thinks, as the light from the sun coming from the glass doors doesn’t seem to be bothering you the way it usually does. He can’t blame you though. Last night was incredible. And pretty tiring, too, especially at the end when you let him take control, and he’d made love to you hard on the couch and then during your shower right after.
You were breathless by the time you were in bed, and you had to constantly assure him that he didn’t go too hard for the sex to be considered a ‘strenuous activity.’ You’re still required to take things easy, as your cardiologist had told you, and the last thing Jungkook wants is for you to overwork your heart just because he’d been too keen to fuck you. But seeing you enjoy yourself did things to him. So did seeing you be giddy, and then hearing you express your feelings.
It’s been a tough few weeks. He knew that during the times he was cold and distant towards you that he still felt so much love; it was just hard to express it because he was upset. He just had to process his negative emotions properly and ride them out. Once he’d cleared his head, there you were again, the only clarity he needed, and he was back to being the lovestruck man who’s head over heels in love with his wife. The best part was that you were the same, and being back in Busan and in this specific house is making him a little sentimental. And pretty horny, too.
Jungkook moves away from the bed and removes his shirt that’s absorbed all his sweat. He woke up early and went for a run down a nearby trail, savoring the cool morning breeze by the water and the natural sounds of the forest. It was gorgeous, and he thinks of going on a picnic with you tomorrow to see the sights.
He just got back to the house, expecting you to be awake, but the sight of you sleeping peacefully is still something nice to return to. Wanting to take advantage of the tranquility of this place, he decides to do some painting.
You showed him your corner yesterday. It’s complete with an easel and a stool that faces the view. There’s a bench with paint and brushes that you’ve left and you brought. You told him he could use them if he wanted.
The lake sparks creativity, you said, and he feels that now. The sun casts a glow over it that he wants to capture in brush strokes, and he wants to create something to remind him of this particular day and this specific moment, where he stands by the kitchen counter in a space you’ve both come to claim as your slice of heaven. Moans were bouncing off the walls last night but right now, it’s quiet. And whether you’re naked and bouncing on top of him, or naked under the covers as you take your needed rest, he knows you’re all he needs and wants, and he’ll never get tired of telling or showing you all that.
Choosing the colors he’ll be using, Jungkook starts to work. He stays true to the view before him, blending the blues and yellows and greens that he sees and laying them all out on the canvas. He wants to surprise you, show you he’s learned some tricks that he’s seen you do; he can already imagine your proud face and that gets him excited.
It’s almost an hour later when he hears shuffling inside the house followed by your call of his name.
“I’m outside, babe,” he yells. “I prepared the coffee in the pot, just press the button.”
You shout out your thanks and he gets back to work, immersed in the almost-finished product when your voice takes him out of his zone.
“That’s gorgeous, Kook,” you hum. “Way better than the one you did the last time.”
“Hey,” he laughs, tickling you.
He turns to you and his face softens. You’re standing next to him with mussed hair dressed in his white button-up polo from last night. He’d left it on the stool by your bed and you probably decided to wear it when you got up because you know he loves seeing you wear his clothes.
“Am I making your heart flutter, Mr. Jeon?” You tease, seeing his soft, dimpled smile.
He hasn’t said anything for the past 10 seconds and you think maybe it’s your chosen morning outfit.
“You know the answer to that,” he replies, pulling you by the waist and directing you to sit on his lap. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” he says of the painting. “But since you’ve seen it, what do you think?”
“It’s very Bob Ross-esque,” you compliment him. “And it’s really good, hun. The day’s pretty nice, huh? I’d paint this scenery, too, if I wasn’t so tired.”
“You’re welcome,” he smirks. “But I went for a run and everything was just so pretty. You were still sleeping when I got back so I thought to try painting while waiting for you to wake up.”
“Well, it’s good I was still asleep then,” you smile. “The piece is great. You’ve got a good teacher, I’d say.”
“She is. She’s pretty hot, too, so it’s hard to focus sometimes.”
“You’re so cheeky,” you playfully roll your eyes before kissing cheek and standing up to get your coffee.
You choose to lean on the railing when you return, soaking up the midday sun and relishing the calmness of the lake. It’s so peaceful out here, making you appreciate your house’s soundproof walls because you definitely were not quiet last night. Other than the loud thrumming of your heart at how much you were lusting over your husband touching himself and coming undone in front of you, you also know that your joint moans were pretty obscene.
You didn’t shy away from letting him know how you were affecting him, especially when he’d pounded into you so purposefully that you felt him so deep within you. Even the bathroom sex was mind-blowing. So was the loving way he’d kissed you until you both fell asleep, and the thought of all the ways that Jungkook makes love to you sends a shiver down your spine.
You shake a little bit and turn around, surprise laced on your face as you see your husband looking at you from his stool, legs spread with a smirk on his face in all his shirtless glory.
“How long have you been ogling me?” You arch an eyebrow.
“As soon as you came out,” he smiles. “You look stunning, babe. The lake’s pretty lucky it gets to be your background.”
You chuckle at his cheesiness and sip your coffee. “Finish your work now and then we can get ready to head out. We can have early lunch at the seafood place our families used to go to.”
With you by the railings looking breathtaking against the view, it’s a nice scene that Jungkook wants to capture. “I wanna try to draw you,” he states, taking one of your sketch pads and placing it on the easel now.
“Oh yeah?” you ask. “I should pose then.”
He turns to you just as you start unbuttoning your top, leaving your tattoo and black satin underwear exposed. You see him visibly swallow and you push it, adjusting his polo to reveal more of your skin.
“This okay, hun?”
“I–, uh… hmm,” he furrows his brows, his eyes flitting from you to the pad.
Jungkook decides he’s not good enough to capture you in drawing, and he’s definitely not patient enough to wait to finish it before he can kiss you because the way you’re teasing him is a little too much. He has to have you right now.
Retrieving the polaroid camera from inside the house, he walks back out and snaps a shot. “I won’t do you justice, babe,” he explains. “And you look too fucking sexy to pass up on.”
He takes another one and then places them on the coffee table next to him. He walks to you and immediately captures you in a deep kiss, his hand gripping your waist the same way yours grips his chest.
“So that worked, huh?” You giggle. “I was wondering when you were gonna just walk over here and claim me.”
“You could’ve just said you wanted me, too,” he laughs. “You know I like hearing that.”
“You also like it when I tease you,” you counter. “And, well… here I am.”
You bite your lip and pull the polo just enough to expose your shoulder, and Jungkook basically growls at the act, putting away your coffee then kissing you once again.
You moan against his mouth once his hand slides inside to fondle your breast, and the sensation from his touch sends you in a daze. You let him suck your neck only for a while, nudging him to turn to you so you could get a look at him.
“Baby,” he whines, wanting to have continued to map out your body in this open space.
“I just…” you trail, your eyes scanning his half-naked form, his cream-colored joggers low enough again to show the band of his boxers.
You trace your fingers down his torso, following the lines and ridges that you know he works hard on. His breathing quickens, even more so when you slowly slide your hand in, immediately stroking his semi-hard cock.
“Fuck,” he groans, his head leaning back at the pleasure he feels, your soft skin soothing yet electrifying him at the same time.
But you shouldn’t be the only one, he thinks, as his hand sneaks inside your underwear now, his fingers finding your throbbing clit amidst all the wetness.
“Mhmm,” you hum, your mouth parting as you suck in a breath.
Jungkook wants to bask in your look as you pleasure each other, but he also really wants to kiss you, so he pulls you close, angling your head with his other hand and takes you in. It’s all tongue and teeth, as you both seem desperate for the other, and that’s what prompts him to start walking back and taking you with him, needing to taste you this second because he can feel just how wet you are for him.
He guides you towards the desk near your bed, lifting you a little so you could sit on it, causing you to let go of his dick and you whine in response. You’re not able to say anything more, as he slides two fingers inside your hole at the same time that he sucks your nipple.
“Kook, oh my good,” you keen, feeling your slick spread as he pumps into you.
He doesn’t say anything. He just continues with his movements as you heave in pleasure, grinding reflexively as you seek more friction than just his fingers.
“Do you want more, baby?” He asks, looking at you now.
“Yes,” you whisper, your mouth parting once he presses your clit. “Want your mouth. Oh god, baby, I want your mouth.”
He slows down his movements before retrieving his hand from your damp underwear, showing you his fingers drenched in your slick. He licks them off you as he holds your gaze, and you take his hand off his mouth so you could suck them, too.
You moan as you do, suddenly wanting his dick as well. He crouches down before you get to say anything, pulling off your underwear to see you dripping wet, your essence forming a dot on the desk this time. You’d be embarrassed if he didn’t look so turned on by it, and you completely lose it once he licks a strip up your pussy and swirls his tongue around it.
You lose all sense by then, allowing yourself to just let go because with how he’s gripping you and sucking you dry, you know you won’t be able to control how your body will react anyway.
He sets a rhythm, pulling your hips to meet his mouth and you follow the pace, grinding against him as your body burns with so much pleasure. Your ass sits by the edge and your legs are hanging on air, but you know he’s got you. It isn’t like this is the first time, yet every time feels like it is. Jungkook does you so well, you’ve stopped questioning his ability at this point.
Your legs start to shake and his hands glide to hold up your thighs while your arms support you. It’s uncontrollable by now and you don’t mind the moans that escape you. He’d just fucked you senseless last night but that already feels too far away. You know it's still gonna be another good one this time.
“I’m coming, Kook. Agh–” you shriek, feeling it so suddenly, until you’ve reached the edge and feel even wetter, as your orgasm hits and it feels like a waterfall.
Your husband hums from in between your legs, taking all that he can, even as your legs continue to shake. He kisses your inner thigh before kissing up your torso, meeting your dazed look with his satisfied smile.
“Can you go again, baby?” He smirks, taking off his joggers and boxer briefs in one movement to reveal his cock that’s definitely ready for you.
You want to trace the veins with your tongue, lick the pre-cum off it, and swallow it until you can’t breathe, but his hand gets to it first, with him knowing now how touching himself turns you on. He strokes himself a little, and the version of you that touches herself when he does is back, as you instantly fiddle with your clit to address the aching need at the sight of him like this.
Holding the base of his member, he pushes slowly into you, joining your moan at the feel of him within your velvet walls.
“Baby, you feel so good,” he grunts, as he meets your thrusts. “So, so fucking good, my dick could live here.”
“I want it to,” you manage a response. “Kook, baby, you’re so big. Go deeper, please. I can take it.”
Jungkook follows, moving closer and pushing harder as you ask, feeling your edge as he drags his cock against your walls. You’re moaning in his mouth, lips no longer moving as you feel lost in all that he’s doing to you.
“You like that so much, don’t you?” He moans. “Like how deep I go? How much I stretch you out?”
“Yes, baby,” you huff, unable to form words now. But you try, knowing he likes hearing you like this.
You’re flicking your nipple while he’s massaging your clit, and with all the movements, you feel it again. You try to hold out, wanting to savor this feeling a little longer, but Jungkook’s erratic movements tell you that he’s just about to reach his peak, too, so you let yourself go again, waiting for the crash and hoping he’d get to do it with you.
His body shakes now, you feel it, as yours does the same. And it’s not long after when you feel the shiver all over you, and then he comes, too with a release of a deep breath that gives you goosebumps.
He pulls out, and seeing his cum slide out of you, he pushes back in, making you yelp in surprise.
“We made a mess,” he chuckles, his voice low and hoarse from all the moaning he’s done.
“Hmm, we did,” you huff, seeing him swirl his dick with your joint essence on your pussy.
He’s done this before. But seeing it from this angle, with the sun shining from your glass wall - it’s incredibly sexy. You laugh to yourself. It’s not even lunchtime.
“Honey, I’m tired,” you laugh now.
Jungkook kisses you tenderly and you smile against his lips. “Okay then. We shower and then we take a nap. Food can wait.”
You stare at the plates of food that you and Jungkook had devoured. A lunch for 4, you think, and you blame the late morning nap you took that’s caused you to have your first meal at 1PM. You don’t mind though, as the dishes were much more delicious with how hungry you were, and Jungkook seems the same, as he satisfyingly smiles at you.
“Ah, that was good,” he hums. “Nothing like our favorite seafood restaurant.”
“I know, right? I remember how our grandparents would always reserve the function room for our families,” you say. “You boys were always so rowdy, running around the place.”
“Food energizes us,” Jungkook shrugs. “And yeah, I remember. Seoyeon would scold us for being noisy.”
“And I was always just there, sitting and laughing at the silly faces you were making when the adults finally told you off.”
“You really had a crush on me, huh?” He smirks, pulling you closer to his side so he could have a better look at you.
“Yes, and you really never noticed,” you counter, laughing at his pout. “Would it have made any difference if you knew that weak little me adored you and your bowl-cut?”
“I really don’t understand how you found that cute,” he laughs. “That’s my most embarrassing look ever.”
“What? It was adorable!” You giggle, pinching his chin. “You were always so mischievous but the haircut made you look tiny and pure for some reason. Plus, you had this smile. It was always very sweet.”
He sighs at the thought, imagining a prepubescent Jungkook causing trouble with you still thinking he was pretty special. “I don’t remember as much about you. I hate it.”
“Kook, we have so many photos and home videos,” you comfort him. “We can always go through them and try to remember. I think that’ll be fun, don’t you think?”
It would, he smiles to himself. Days and nights of being curled up on the couch, watching your younger selves and thinking of how neither of you would’ve imagined getting married and being this in love. Your future kids would ask how you two met and you could both show them those videos. He’d proudly say how you were crushing on him early on and you’d tease that he never really minded you. It’s all fun, though, and he can picture your future kids enjoying it, too, perhaps thinking it could be them on screen. He’s suddenly excited to find out who they’d take after.
“Honey? You okay?”
“Yeah, I just zoned out a bit but of course, that would be fun. We can make fun of each other while watching.”
You smile at the thought, knowing that reminiscing those days would be a shock to him. You wonder how much of your adoration for him was caught on camera, but even you are curious. Your siblings and Junghyun would tell you stories as you got older, and there were things that you’d either forgotten or didn’t know.
Sometimes you think you downplayed just how big of a crush you had on Jungkook when you were younger because it was unrequited - a silly thought now, given how he is with you. He used to not look your way but now, it seems as if he can’t take his eyes off you the way you can’t take your eyes off of him.
You both exit the restaurant and drive to your middle school. You introduce yourselves and are immediately allowed in. Classes have just ended so it’s a little busy with the students leaving, but the shrieks remind you of how things were during your time, and how different you and Jungkook remember your pre-teen days to be.
The difference is much more glaring once you’re in your high school not far away, especially as you look around the library that’s changed a lot over the years. But you remember your spot at the corner, where you and Yeri would study while Nari drew dresses and Minhyuk read comics.
“You know, I’ve probably only ever been here thrice,” Jungkook laughs, the place an unfamiliar spot for him. It’s also so quiet; it’s unnerving and probably why he never really came here.
“I’m not surprised,” you laugh. “But then again, I’ve only ever stepped foot on the field twice.”
“What? Did you not have PE class?”
“I did,” you say. “My parents had me spared from the physical stuff, so I just read up on sports and other things for my grade.”
“That’s so sad, babe,” he laments. “PE was like, the best. It was the only subject I liked.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” you exclaim. “But yeah, I got used to it. It’s different learning a sport by reading it but it was okay, I guess. My teacher would let me watch classes and varsity games sometimes.”
“Let me guess, you were watching me?” He smirks.
“Not always,” you playfully roll your eyes. “You weren’t the only good-looking guy in school, you know?”
“What! Who else was?”
“Secret,” you tease, sticking your tongue out and walking down the hallway.
You pass by the auditorium, another place you spent a lot of time in. Minhyuk used to play the violin and you’d watch his rehearsals with their music group here.
“Okay, tell me you’ve been here at least once to watch a club performance or something,” you say, turning to him.
“Uh, no?” He laughs. “All I remember from this is that we had an important game against a rival school on the field and all your friends were there except for you. Hyung watched it and I overheard him ask them where you were and Yeri said you were at the auditorium because there was some flute recital or something.” He rolls his eyes. “Why would that be more interesting than my soccer game?”
You laugh at his bitter expression. “You wouldn’t have cared, hun. And I’m pretty sure she said saxophone. That was Jaehyun’s instrument.”
“Who’s that? Why doesn’t he sound familiar?”
“Because he was a year older,” you respond as you walk past the seats. “He, uh, he invited me, said I was probably gonna watch the game but it didn’t hurt to try, and he was surprised that I said I’d watch him.”
“Were you… a thing?” He furrows his brows.
“Why would that matter,” you ask. “You were the one dating the class President and the gymnast and a lot of other girls.”
“Yeah but I never took them seriously,” he defends. “We just… you know.”
“Oh, I know,” you chuckle. “Talks of how good of a kisser you were and uh, other stuff spread like wildfire, Kook. It wasn’t exactly a secret.”
You're right, it really wasn’t. He was the rich popular jock that girls flocked to and he loved the attention, and that continued until university. But like he always said, it was all fun for him.
You… you were never the type to date for fun, so he knows that any guy you were with could’ve been the one, and yes, even Won-shik. Or Jongin. Maybe this Jaehyun dude.
It could’ve been Mingyu.
“So you and the guy, were you…?” He asks again.
“He courted me,” you say. “But I wasn’t sure about having a boyfriend at that time and he said he’d wait but I told him not to. We drifted once he graduated and that was it.”
“Okay.”
“Does that matter?” You wonder.
“Sometimes I think there could’ve been a version of this life where we weren’t married,” he starts. “Like, you could’ve been with someone else you loved and I probably would’ve been arranged with some other person but you and I would still see each other regularly because of our families and like… that’s just… a hard thought to have. If it wasn’t me with you right now.”
“Yes, Kook, it’s a hard thought but also impossible because I’m with someone I love and you’re with me right now,” you tell him. “And this is the only version of life I’ll have. Also, I think I have a pretty special connection with the universe so sometimes I think they were truly on my side. They kept me alive and well, they made me marry you, the man who never really took anyone seriously and now look at you!”
“Yeah, look at me, head over heels in love with the woman he was bitter about and barely minded,” he laughs dryly. “But I think they were on my side, too.”
You smile at the thought, knowing that Jungkook may not really be able to let go of the guilt from years ago but he could at least look at things this way - at the end of it, you get to be together happily, making new memories in the places you’ve known all your lives, and out to make even more.
You continue your walk around the school. You pass by the faculty to greet your teachers from over 10 years ago, who fawn over both of you. They say how surprised they were that you’d ended up together, but don’t doubt that now seeing how happy you both look.
Walking down the hallway, you gush over the shelf with championship trophies that Jungkoook had won with the soccer team. And then finally, you sit on the bleachers that overlook the soccer field, Jungkook’s stage during your years in school.
“It does look pretty with the sun casting a shadow over it,” you hum, seeing that it’s late in the afternoon. “I can see why you loved being here, Kook. And seeing you play now, you truly belong on the field.”
“Those years were fun,” he reminisces. “I loved the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the cheers… I loved the attention, really. It made me feel free. I think I kept chasing that high outside of it. And it got me into a lot of trouble.”
“Well, all that trouble landed you right here with me,” you comfort him. “I think it’s not all that bad.”
“Not at all,” he agrees. “But I still experience all that, you know? The thrill, the cheers, the attention… I married someone who gives all those to me. My younger years can’t really compare.”
Your cheeks reach your eyes as you giddily smile. “My heart is fluttering, Mr. Jeon,” you giggle. “Too bad we’re in school so I can’t kiss you right now.”
“Actually, I know a spot…”
“Kook!” You squeal, not wanting to know where he’d made out with the girls back then, but he laughs along to tease and says that you both could always drive back home and do all the kissing you want.
Tempting, you think, but all the walking has made you hungry and he promised you’d have milmyeon for dinner and then pass by the kiosk where Mrs. Na always bought you your favorite hotteok.
You do all that, and just like what Jungkook said, you go back home and do all the kissing you want.
The kissing obviously escalated to so much more. Jungkook let you ride his face and you let him fuck your mouth. The lake house is so conducive to lovemaking, you told him as you started to doze off, and he assured you that all this wouldn’t end here. There’s lots to make up for, but also, making up with you makes him feel like a new man and a better lover, and he wants to be able to show you all that.
He doesn’t mess around though, as you wake up the next morning flushed against his firm chest that you can’t help but kiss all over, and to get you going for morning sex by the lake, he wildly eats you out then takes you from behind while you look at the view outside.
You at least eat your breakfast that you had made on the veranda and then have enough energy to walk down the trail by the lake to see the forest and the birds. Jungkook lays down a mat and you both enjoy fruits and desserts before heading out for a late lunch of pork rice soup that you’ve dearly missed.
You drive around your part of the city, passing by spots and beaches you used to frequent, and it’s as if you could hear the shrieks and laughter from your younger days, sounds you joined in on every once in a while. But much of it was Jungkook’s, and you smile at the thought; he was already making your heart flutter then, and you don’t think that’s ever gonna stop.
He stops by a familiar park, and it takes a while before it registers that this is the playground that both of you used to go to a lot. It’s the midway point of your grandparents’ estates so all you Jeon and Kim kids would play here before heading to either of those places.
It’s also where he asked you to play when you were 4 years old. And where you told him no.
“Are we here to reenact that moment I broke your heart?” You tease, walking next to him as you bask in the sight of your childhood. You may not have played in the playground but you did have your dolls with you.
“Sort of,” he chuckles. “With a good ending this time though. I kind of wanna have both memories ingrained in my mind so they could remind me of how far we’ve come.”
“Sounds good,” you smile, sitting on the bench that you think is the one you would always sit on.
It’s been over 20 years and a lot about it has changed, but you suppose it’s a good guess.
“It’s amazing the memories that we retain, isn’t it?” You wonder out loud. “I remember that day, too. We were just 4 years old, and, well, it’s one of the few that I remember.”
“I know, right? I don’t remember much from that age apart from that moment, actually,” he says. “It stuck with me, maybe because it really affected me. Who knows? Maybe I was crushing on you before that so I chose to forget everything else after you rejected me,” he laughs. “Selective memory and shit.”
“Could be,” you laugh along. “But can you imagine how it must’ve been like for our families seeing us grow up and grow apart? It must’ve sucked.”
“I’m sure it did,” he hums, knowing how much your families wanted this union. “Perhaps the universe was on their side, too.”
You smile at the thought. Coming back to the places with traces of Jungkook as the kid you admired from a short distance makes you sentimental because he’s right, there could’ve been another version of life where you didn’t end up together. Who knows if your fondness for him would’ve faded if you’d married someone else? But you’d still see each other regardless, and the feeling could be haunting you.
You wonder if you weren’t sick, or was just careless enough to have played with him even if you weren’t allowed to - how different would your friendship have been like growing up? Would you be closer? Would he have been as reckless or less of the playboy he was? Would you have been more daring just to keep up with him? Would you have both tried to date? What if it didn’t work out, being as you were both still young then?
But as you look up at Jungkook who’s now standing before you, his hand in his pocket before he reaches it out the way he did over 20 years ago, you think that maybe all those had to happen so you could have this.
Maybe the distance meant that you’d both grow and make mistakes individually. Maybe having different sets of friends and hobbies meant you’d both appreciate yourselves for who you are so you could appreciate the other just as much. Maybe his colorful relationship record and your neutral one meant being able to balance excitement and security. Maybe all the heartbreaks along the way meant you’d learn how to ride through them so you could love each other even more.
Because as you take his hand and stand up to meet him for a kiss, you don’t think you could ever love him more than you do right now. You feel it all over your body that you think it’s all it knows to do at this point.
“Four-year old Jungkook is probably bursting at the seams right now,” he hums as he kisses you again, his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours.
“And four-year old me is probably doing the same,” you smile. “But this 29-year old version of me is so content right now, Kook. She can’t get any happier.”
She can, are the words that echo in Jungkook’s mind. Being here makes him realize how else you - both of you - can be happier. But he keeps the thought to himself and chooses to agree with you for now.
“That’s great, babe. This version of me feels the same.”
The stack of Polaroid photos from the past 3 days has gotten taller. There’s so much from the beach, your grandparents’ house, your schools, the trail, and of course, the playground. Jungkook holds up the ones from earlier where you’re sitting on the swing and the one where you both attempted to slide together but got stuck.
Your smiles are as wide as they could get, and seeing them now tugs at his heart. You seem like you can’t get any happier, but he also knows there’s something more that you wish for.
And it isn’t just about giving it to you; he wants to make it with you, because seeing you skip around earlier and play in the seesaw with him and laugh your sweet, tender laugh - he knows that there are so many more ways he can show you he loves you, and the sight of you happy and free and content is something he wants to see everyday of his life.
“What you looking at, hun?” You ask, as you wrap your arms around his crouched form on the edge of the bed, your chin sliding in the crook of his neck and peeking at what he’s holding.
“All our photos,” he says. “We ended up taking so many.”
“Hmm, more to put in our photo album then,” you hum, kissing his cheek before kissing his shoulder, and then his back, given that he’s too sexy not to have your lips mapping them out.
You make it to the line down his back, kissing his tailbone before lying in bed. “I’m tired,” you yawn. “Let’s sleep, hun. We have a day of travel tomorrow.”
Jungkook keeps the photos in a pouch and turns off the light before he lays next to you, his arm stretching out so you have space to rest your head on his chest.
You make yourself comfortable right away, close to drifting to sleep with his post-shower natural scent and his smooth skin.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?”
“I was just thinking…” he starts. “We kinda went down memory lane, you know? And sorted things out like we said we would. We got through a fight that had us loving each other even more and I feel like I’ve learned and matured after all that and I… I think I’m ready.”
He turns to you, wanting to see your face, and your curious eyes meet his certain ones.
“I want to have a family with you,” he says. “And I mean, really want it, like, I want us to seriously try now.”
“Kook…” you mumble, a little surprised but beaming with joy just the same.
“I’ll admit at the start, a part of me just wanted to get ahead with it because I knew it would make you happy and that would make me happy,” he admits. “But now, I just… I want that for us because we love each other so fucking much and I don’t know how else we could show or express it. And that’s nice, isn’t it? It’s overflowing and the only other person who should receive that love other than you or me is someone we both created.”
You’re frozen, constantly blinking at him in disbelief until he nudges your nose with his.
“Hey, say something,” he whispers.
“I… ” you quiver. “I’m… Kook, that’s amazing. You… We… we’re ready. We have so much to give and we, I…”
A tear falls down your cheek.
You and Jungkook had agreed to let life just happen. You make love all the time anyway and it used to comfort you that there could at least be a chance you’d get pregnant with the frequency you do it. But conceiving a baby isn’t that easy. You may have sex a lot but it doesn’t mean you always do it at the right time. Both your stress levels have been quite high, too, and that’s been a factor on why it hasn’t happened yet.
There were a few times when you thought your period being late meant you could be pregnant, only to have it happen right before you told Jungkook. You won’t deny it disappointed you a little.
But now, with him saying he wants to actively try, it’s making you excited and nervous but incredibly happy. You’ve wanted this for a while, and you realize now with what you and Jungkook could handle and take on together, you want it even more. And he’s right there with you.
“Oh, baby,” he says, caressing your cheek. “I’m… I’m sorry it took a while for me. Wanting to let life surprise us feels like a cop out now.”
“Don’t be sorry, hun,” you sniff, sighing into his touch. “What matters now is that we both want this. And we’re… we’re really gonna try.”
“Yeah,” he smiles. “We can go see your doctors tomorrow or the day after to consult. Whatever they say, we’ll follow. If we have to have even more sex, then that’s great.”
You laugh at his words. “I think we have enough of it.”
“We never know.”
You kiss him. Deeply. You kiss him so hard, it’s the only way to express how happy you are because words fail you. You kiss him so long that you climb on top of him, wanting to feel him wrap himself around you, touch you, cradle you, show you how much he loves you.
“Oh, so we’re starting now?” He teases once you pull away.
You just hover over him, your eyes boring into his sparkling ones, and you giggle as you boop his nose.
“I’m actually not ovulating but it doesn’t matter,” you say, pressing your clothed pussy against his cock. “I just… I just want to feel you right now. Your wanting to have a family is such a turn on, I’m scaring myself.”
He smirks at your honesty but he loves it. Your being turned on by it is also turning him on.
But he lets you do what you want first, as you kiss down his torso then pull down his boxer briefs to lick his hardening cock before you take him all in.
“I thought you were tired, babe,” he huffs, feeling the tension build as you take him so desperately, his thighs straining from the pleasure.
“Not anymore,” you say, gagging with how big he is. You turn to look at him with his cock in your hand now, meeting the smirk he has on his face. “I think I can do this all night.”
“Fuck, baby,” he grunts. “You gotta play fair. I need my time to do you, too.”
Waking up the next morning feels different. With Jungkook flushed against your back and his arm around your middle, you think that hopefully in a few months, he’d be lovingly caressing you there when there’s a tiny human growing inside you.
It’s a nice thought, but one you can wait for a while to happen. Although last night’s sex was pretty intense, you’re not fertile and there wouldn’t be any surprises soon, but it was still really good. Your emotions had overtaken you and you went with what your heart and body were saying, and you’re now left with sore limbs. But you don’t mind. You’re satisfied beyond belief. And while this may be your last day of your time here, you’ll be going back to your normal life with much more excitement this time. And you know your husband feels the same.
He wakes up shortly after, and you both pass up on breakfast to just sleep in and cuddle, knowing there’ll be less of this again, so you savor being naked in each other's arms, giggling and kissing.
You finally make it out of bed and pack up, ready to head to his grandparents’ as you both promised. It goes by smoothly, with them fawning over you as always, and you and Jungkook spend some time right after going around the estate and recalling memories again.
He takes you to his room, which is where he stayed when he was much younger. It’s still a little boy’s bedroom with all the toys organized and the clothes stored neatly. He opens his closet and takes a chest from the floor, unlocking it to reveal sets of baby clothes in mint condition.
There’s a swaddling cloth and a blanket, a crocheted bunny and a baby giraffe. There are onesies and beanies and tiny shoes and mittens.
Jungkook touches them lightly, excitedly thinking about your future baby wearing them.
“I have a chest like this, too,” you say, smiling up at him. “It’s at my grandparents’. Do you think we could pass by for it? I think it would be nice to have our tiny one wear our clothes, don’t you think?”
“It would be,” he smiles.
You both casually tell your grandparents that you wanted to bring the chests back with you to Seoul “just in case” because you’re sentimental, not wanting to make too big of a deal out of deciding to finally and seriously try getting pregnant this time. You don’t miss their glassy eyes and proud faces, though, and you think of the joy they must be feeling. You hope all goes well and that they’d get to spend as much time with their future grandchildren as possible. It was their dream, after all, and you know it means just as much to them.
With your treasure troves in the trunk and your hand in Jungkook’s, you both drive away, hoping that not too long from now, a little one will be joining you in your weekend getaways and short breaks and vacations. You could only hope they’ll love you with all their heart as much as you know you’ll love them with all of yours.
Summary: Half of him inhabits a beast; the other part is made of colours of suspiciously peaceful gardens. And you, no matter how fierce, will take all of what he grants you.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader
➳ rating: 18+
➳ genre: fwb/f2l, college au; fluff, lots of smut
➳ warnings: oof. okay, bickering, oc a bit bitchy at first, jk is a little shit, eating ramen together <3, most of this is smut so… explicit sexual content: oral (f. & m. receiving), fingering, cockwarming, sloppy making out, quite a few positions, some spanking, spit, manhandling, unprotected sex, rough sex, pet names, big dick jk, dom jk, teasing, multiple orgasms, some choking, consent, squirting, he likes her tiddies and ass, praising, some thigh grinding, the good kinda crying, aftercare, showering together <3
➳ word count: 12.2k
➳ a/n: please ignore how shitty the banner looks LOL i forgot i had to make one :’) but enjoy this piece of filth and let me know your thoughts once you’re done !! ALSO !!! this is part of my series colour me in, but this chapter can fully be read as a stand-alone. no knowledge required, just rivals f*cking !! <3
➳ listen to: love on the brain by rihanna | full (collaborative) playlist 🤍
SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST
MASTERLIST | WIPs
There’s a limit to insolence. And what’s enough is enough.
I don’t normally do this but it felt quite serendipitous that I reached a special milestone this month - 3 years after I got this blog up and running again (no thank you but thank you, covid.) I started as a silent reader then became active and then had this crazy thought that maybe I could write, too. 😅
And through all the ups and downs of this blog, I just want to thank each and every one of you whom I’ve directly or indirectly interacted with. I’ve fangirled over authors, felt all the love from the sweetest people who’ve read my stories and/or reached out, and just let myself escape in this lovely community that may continue to change but one I’ll always have an affection for; it’ll always be the place where I get to shamelessly shout out my love for 7 amazing men who’ll always have our hearts 💕
I don’t know for how long I’ll be doing this but know that my stories that have a piece of me in each one will always be around. I hope that despite the emotional roller coasters, all the multiple pov switches (yay to fanfic freedom), and all the angst and tears, you’ll constantly feel comforted and remember that love comes in all forms. And it’s an amazing thing to give and receive 😊
I don’t have anything special prepared. 😔 but a new story will be coming in a few weeks! Pls look forward to it 💕 and if there’s anything you want to ask or say - about any story or BTS or random things, my inbox is open!
oh wow... i just came back to tumblr after such a long day at my internship and i cant believe my eyes when i first realized u actually mentioned me in this heartwarming post.
mimi.... i have become such a huge fan of your works and to be recognized by you in this way makes me feel so extremely happy. i'm glad to have been a part of your journey, even in the slightest way possible, because you have become a huge part of mine. i will continue to cherish all the love, comfort, and lessons that your stories have instilled within me. i hope you know that by allowing us to experience life through your stories, you made many of us feel the warmth and familiarity of loving and being loved back. your escape eventually became home for many of us. ily! and looking forward for what you have in store for us 💗
Warnings: Making out, lots of pregnancy stuff, pregnancy sex, sort of impreg kink; family fluff
Word count: 13k
Summary: You knew early on that Jungkook would be a great father and husband and he proves that to you everyday. With a child on the way and his first time experiencing pregnancy with you, you both go through the growing pains of raising a family - with tears, more tears, and a lifetime full of love.
A/N: I started writing this 1.5 years ago, right after Inevitable wrapped up and finally, I finished it and can now share this with all of you. It’s a pretty special piece and I hope you find comfort in it the way you did with the series.
Also, I went wild with the photos. Thank you Pinterest and random people on the internet.
Summary: You’re a maze without an exit – there’s not a single way out of you, no end to the madness you inflict on his fragile heart. You keep going on, and on, and on.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader
➳ rating: 18+
➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; suggestive, angst, fluff
➳ warnings: heartbreak, coping, flashbacks, full jk pov!, good friends, tae is amazing, confessions, bottled up feelings, tears, fears, past secrets, mood changes, jk kinda a dumbass, pining, yearning, Art ✨, a birthday; kissing/making out, mentions of sex, brief sex, groping, oc is cute and i love her. the ENDING!!
➳ word count: 17k rip
➳ a/n: here gooooes. not sure when the next update is gonna be, since school started, so please indulge in this for now and definitely lemme know what you think! this one was a challenge, so i hope you like it :’) parts beta’d by my wonderful kitten @missgeniality <33
➳ a/n2: the chapter begins with the night of their confession, as narrated in cmi6/silhouettes! the first few scenes are flashbacks, but from his pov.
➳ listen to: angels like you by miley cyrus |full (collaborative) playlist 🤍
SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST
MASTERLIST | WIPs
The sudden rain wasn’t part of the plan, but Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind its presence.
jungkook :((( i wish they can finally talk because im just here crying for the two of them these past few weeks!!!! PLS somewhere at the end of this chapter i was very much hoping for her to show up bc it's apparently his birthday too bUTTTT i guess she also deserves to take her time... but GOD i love them both so much i hope they can finally make up 😭
Summary: The sky and the flowers, and even your heart and your mind, have turned oddly colourless since you left the warmth he used to wrap you in.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader
➳ rating: 18+
➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; angst, fluff, smut
➳ warnings: lovesickness, crying, coping, tension, a hospital scene but nothing too major, mention of a small accident, MORE tension, pov changes, a Guest Appearance, a flashback, the Guest Appearance flirts with oc 🤷♀️, jk’s attitude is painful… heartache makes him mean, kissing… 🤐, arguments, pining/yearning, explicit sexual content: masturbation…, fingering, groping, mention of unprotected sex, soft sex… the ending x100
➳ wc: 21.6k
➳ a/n: HI AGAIN. so. cmi7, finally; beta’d and fixed by my kitty @missgeniality ily !! <3 you guys… thank you so much for supporting me and loving cmi so far; please never stop and keep talking to me, it means so so much 🥺🤍 and don’t forget to listen to the playlist!
➳ listen to: reflections by the nbhd | full collaborative playlist 🤍
SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST
MASTERLIST | WIPs
Jungkook [9:23PM]: are u guys okay
You [9:35PM]: Still talking but… it’ll be ok i think
Jungkook [9:37PM]: okay.. i’m glad
You [9:42PM]: Thank you kook. And i’m sorry
Summary: Jungkook’s been acting strange all noon – and it might or might not have to do with Valentine’s Day.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader
➳ rating: 18+
➳ genre: fwb/f2l, fake dating; suggestive, fluff
➳ warnings: banter once again, surprises, mention of sex and his d*ck lmao, they hooked up like an hour ago, teasing, lowkey sexual tension, they just keep annoying each other, frat party mention, it’s insinuated that jk sleeps with other girls ha ha, jk takes good care of his girl, the ending <3
➳ word count: 3.3k
➳ a/n: another flashback drabble!! this time… right on vday! it’s just a smol something before the next full-length chapter drops, but i hope you guys like it. ugh, i missed them a lot. do let me know what you think !! <33
➳ listen to: i can’t fall in love without you by zara larsson | full playlist 🤍
AHHHH THEY'RE JUST THE CUTEST EVER. I have grown way too attached with this couple, i don't think i can ever let them go lol 🥺 thank you for this!!! happy valentine's day ily 💗
Tags/Warnings: angst; mentions of pregnancy/having a family; mentions of illness; fluff; explicit sexual content (making out, nipple play, thigh-riding ish, pillow missionary bc yes, unprotected vaginal sex); JK Dreamers MV behind with the exposed arm
i cant believe im so whipped for plm couple that i literally turned my tv off while in the middle of a kdrama episode to read this bonus chapter as soon as i saw it. thank you for this mimi!! happy holidays 🥺💗
we need a please love me argument or something drabble from after they got married and confessed their love for each other!!11!
Hi, they're back! Just a reminder to think of OC's personality bc this is already a 'fight' for her hehe. I don't know how this is bc I'm not in my best form but I still hope you enjoy 🥰
Title: Please Love Me Bonus 07 - The Fight
WC: 14,953
Tags/Warnings: angst; mentions of pregnancy; hospital setting/talks of illness that might be inaccurate (I just based some off my own experience)
Series Masterlist
It started small.
It was a fleeting moment that you barely missed it - one exhale and you felt that knot in your chest that once was familiar. You brushed it off, not thinking much of it. It wasn’t the first time, yet all those other times, once was enough and it didn’t happen again.
But this time wasn’t like that; this time, you felt it once, then another time, then another, the long intervals between knots getting shorter and shorter.
You try to even out your breathing, grounding yourself so you can listen more to what your body is saying, to what your heart is saying. It starts to work as you count the seconds and the minutes because it starts to go away. It may have taken a lot longer, but just like those other times, this one ends, too.
You’re unable to process what just happened as your phone rings, your husband’s sigh greeting you on the other end.
“Hey, Kook. Everything okay?”
“No. One of the associates gave me wrong figures and I overlooked some elements for my presentation tomorrow,” he groans. “I was gonna stay up late in the office but I’m too pissed off. Are you still at the studio? Can I pick you up?”
“Yeah, I’m just working on my last design,” you reply, already packing up. “And sure. I can call your favorite Japanese restaurant and we can pick up the food on the way home. Is that okay?”
“Yes please. That’s what I really need right now. And you. Be there in 15.”
“I’ll see you, hun. And chin up, you’ll be okay.”
He hums his goodbye and you feel the tiredness from his voice, and the earlier ache in your chest is now replaced by worry for your husband.
Jungkook rarely lets the toxicity of his job affect him, so hearing him frustrated is something you’re not used to. You feel for him, as the new project he’s taken on is a big one, and you just know he wants nothing more than to prove himself to his family this once. He’s begun having bigger responsibilities after all, and he’s said as much that he wants to step away from his brother’s shadow and be his own self, show that he’s just as capable and can get things done his way, too.
A small smile tugs on your face, knowing that a good meal and some encouragement from you might do the trick. You call the restaurant and head outside once he messages that he’s nearby.
Mr. Yu, the chauffeur, stops the car and Jungkook exits, enveloping you in a hug and mumbling his hi. He doesn’t even give you time to properly greet him back, as his body curls into yours and you feel him exhale - a deep one, as if he’s been holding onto his breath the whole day.
“Hi,” you smile, kissing his nose. “The food will be ready in a while. Let’s pick it up and we can talk, okay?”
Jungkook nods and leads you inside, immediately taking your hand like it’s his lifeline. He asks you about your day first and you narrate how it went - ocular of a hall you’ll be designing and then art class for the kids in the afternoon. Then he talks about his - the tense meeting with the staff member who gave him outdated information, the conversation with his father about the expectations for this upcoming project, and having to skip lunch to help his Japan team troubleshoot something.
“I’m exhausted and my head has been hurting all day but I’ve got so much to do,” he exhales deeply before falling into your lap, your hand reflexively combing his long locks that has him moaning at your touch.
“Hmm. And how much coffee have you had today?”
“Five cups,” he answers with his eyes closed, his breathing steadying now as you start to massage his temples.
“That’s 3 cups too much, hun,” you say softly; he said he’d regulate his caffeine intake and you know he’s been trying.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “It’s just been tough, but this is nice. Let’s eat then I can work in the dining room while you watch Masterchef or something?”
You hum your yes, saying you’ve actually got some design studies to work on so you can both work together downstairs.
And that’s what happens as you put away your dirty plates after dinner and settle in your respective spots. Jungkook likes to work with you around when he’s at home, only staying in his office off your bedroom when he’s pulling an all-nighter. Having you close calms him down, he’s always said, as your soothing voice and presence give him the most comfort, even if it’s just a quick look at your expression as you watch TV or your sweet laughter or your tender words.
“You look serious there, babe,” he looks over at you from the dining table. “You’ll get wrinkles if you frown too much.”
“I can’t find the right art piece for this one wall,” you groan. “This is gonna keep me up.”
“Maybe you just need to sleep on it. I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he comforts.
“Hmm, maybe,” you say, your body slowly giving up as it yearns for the bed, chest pains already forgotten. “Join me?”
You walk towards him and sit on his lap as he asks you to, your arms wrapping around his neck.
“Probably in 2 hours or so. I wanna get this presentation finished tonight,” he pouts, apologetic.
“Okay. I’ll wash up and go to bed. Rest soon, okay?”
He holds you a little longer for his goodnight kiss, tickling you before letting you go.
You walk to your room and fall asleep right away, suddenly feeling as if you’d run a marathon today when your body hits the bed. It seems to have been happening more frequently, though - feeling incredibly tired at the end of the day, whether you had a full-packed schedule or a light one. You went to a boutique store yesterday and painted at home then felt dizzy and faint by the evening.
It’s 4 hours later when you suddenly wake up, a mix of that knot on your chest and shortness of breath almost jerking you off the bed. But you catch yourself, turning to the side to see if you’d somehow disturbed Jungkook’s sleep, but you’re surprised to find he’s not there. You see light coming from the office and your husband’s mumbling, and so you get up and walk over to him.
“Kook, it’s past 2,” you stand by the door and sleepily call out to him. “Come to bed.”
“Baby, what are you doing up?” He turns to you with a frown, his long locks almost covering the glasses over his eyes.
“Just woke up. It’s hard to sleep without you,” you frown back.
“Sorry. I’m finishing up already,” he turns again towards his laptop.
“You can do that tomorrow. Just wake up early but sleep now. You’ve had a long day, come on.”
With you standing behind him and your arms around his neck, you pepper his cheeks with kisses to further convince him, knowing you need to shower him with affection so he’d listen to you.
And it works, as he chuckles and turns his laptop off. He heads to the bathroom to wash up while you lay in bed facing his side as you regulate your breathing again, feeling the tightness subside with every set of breaths.
He lies down next to you and kisses your lips before you turn around so your back faces him, his arms enveloping you, with him pulling you as close as he possibly can. Jungkook buries his head in your neck and finds his peace there.
“It’s hard to sleep without this, too,” he hums. “Love you. See you in my dreams.”
It started small, like it always does.
A pinch in the muscle - one, two, three seconds longer than usual; one, two, three instances more than what you’ve been having. You try to take a breath, knowing it’s what’s always worked, but it doesn’t this time. This time, your chest feels tight, too, like something is keeping you from breathing, like you’re gasping for air in the large space of the art studio.
“Hey, do you need some help to pack up?” The teacher for the next class asks; you can already hear the giggles of her little students not far away.
You try to pick up your tools from the desk but your hands and arms feel numb. This will take time, you think, so you smile at her and nod, letting her put away some of the palettes that your kids have left behind. You walk slowly, unable to fully feel your legs, too, and that’s when you start to panic.
“Everything okay?” She looks at you worriedly. “You look a little pale.”
“Oh? Just tired, I guess,” you fake a smile. “I’ll just, uh…”
“Rest, ___. You’ve been working hard on your project and your exhibition. You don’t want all that to catch up to you.”
Too late, you tell yourself, as the helplessness that once was familiar starts to overtake you. You just nod and assure her, then fortunately manage to walk out the street for fresh air and take some medicine. You’re relieved that those at least work, lessening the pain that you’re feeling.
But you know you’re not out of the woods yet, and so you raise your arm to hail a cab, thankful that the hospital is only a 15-minute drive away.
You settle in the backseat, ready to dial Jungkook’s number when you read the text he’d sent an hour ago - I don’t know why I’m so nervous, babe. I’ve barely eaten anything all day. But thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.
You’d messaged him earlier, wishing him well for his presentation today, and you know how much this means to him. He’s worked so hard on this; it’s a big project and the directors have got their eyes on him. There’s no way you’ll add to the stress that he’s been experiencing for the last few weeks.
It’s a little past 2 and he’s set to present a quarter before 3. His palms are probably already sweating as he dries them on his shaking legs. He’s never been nervous for any of soccer matches even when he was a teenager, but you’d understand if this is the one thing that’s making him lose his cool a little bit; he may never directly say it but you know he just wants to impress the big bosses, and that includes his father and yours.
You decide against calling him for now. Your breathing has evened out already, and you still think it’s just one of those moments and there’s nothing to worry about. You were always told that this could still happen, after all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a relapse. It happened a few years ago and all you did was have a change in medication and all was fine after. Like then, this may as well be just a minor thing that you can easily get over on your own. You’ll call Jungkook after you know more about what’s happening to you, knowing he’ll be asking anyway, and not giving him an answer immediately will just scare him.
The emergency room has less people than you expected, although you can say you’re probably the calmest out of all the patients there. Given, you’re in one piece and not puking your guts out so you believe you’re fine, but the attending physician doesn’t seem convinced, as you narrate what you’re feeling.
“Your heartbeat is irregular and your blood pressure is quite low,” she informs you after doing the basics. She looks through your record and confirms your condition. “No relapse since your surgery 15 years ago,” she reads. “No reported abnormalities, no alarming findings… but these are still from last year.”
“Yes, I’m due for my annual check up in 2 months,” you say, as you sit on the hospital bed.
“Well, seems like you’re due now,” she hums, excusing herself to make a call then returning to you. “Dr. Kwon is just finishing with surgery so he’ll see you after, but I’ll have you run some tests already. We’ll call you for x-ray in a while. We’ll take blood samples as well just to be sure.”
You nod, suddenly feeling nervous. These tests are routinary for you at this point; you take it every year every time you have your check-up, the one you’ve been having since the surgery that corrected your heart over a decade ago.
But you’ve never had to come back to the hospital out of your usual schedule ever since you fully recovered. Because any pain you’d felt since then was never serious; it never lingered, it never left you feeling breathless or numb. It never got you feeling weak, and it definitely never had you feel this anxious because it had never hurt this way.
It’s 3:30 by the time you finish filling up all the forms, and though you know nothing more than an irregular heartbeat and low blood pressure, you decide to send Jungkook a text to let him know where you are, knowing his presentation would be done by now. But right as you’re about to, the technician calls your name for the x-ray, and it’s not until several minutes later when you get your phone back and decide to just give him a call.
He doesn’t pick up after the third try, so you go for your next option and call Junghyun, as he knows that you only ever call when something is up.
“Hey, ___. You okay?” He answers.
“Hi. Is Jungkook still presenting?” Your voice quivers.
“He’s done but he’s somewhere in front answering questions,” Junghyun responds.
“Did he do well?” You ask, wanting to know.
“He was really nervous but everyone was impressed,” the older man smiles. “Were you the one calling him? He left his phone in his seat and I saw it light up.”
“Yeah, I, uh… Once he’s free, can you just let him know that I’m in the ER? My chest felt tight and—”
“You’re what?” He almost yells, his voice in a panic. “What happened? How are you feeling now?”
“I’m fine… I think,” you sigh. “It was just chest pains. I’ll see Dr. Kwon in a while then I’ll know more.”
“Fuck, okay. Who’s with you?”
“Just me.”
There’s a pause in the other end. “What are you doing now?”
“Waiting for the next tests. Can you, uh, can you let Jungkook know once he’s done there?”
“I’m telling him now, ___. You’re in the emergency room and he needs to be there with you.”
“Okay,” your voice shrivels, not used to Junghyun’s authoritative tone. “I’m being called for my ECG. I’ll, uh, I’ll be waiting for him.”
Junghyun drops the call and returns to the conference room. He immediately walks to his brother and whispers what you’d said.
Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock, worry and distress painting them. He quickly excuses himself and runs out the door, leaving the older man to explain to their father and yours what had happened, both of whom panic as well and make calls.
It’s another red light that Jungkook beats, and he makes it to the hospital in 15 minutes, almost half of the usual time it takes to get there from his office. He asks around the ER where you are, and he’s directed to a room where he finds you lying in bed, looking perfectly normal, save for your furrowed brows as you seem to be answering messages on your phone.
“Baby!” He exclaims, rushing towards you and taking you in his arms. “What happened? What hurts?”
“Hey, honey,” you look up at him and smile nervously. “I’m fine, I just…”
“Babe, you can’t be fine when you’re here. Your check-up isn’t due in 2 months. What… what brought you here?”
“I was, uh, I was having—”
“___,” the familiar voice of Dr. Kwon calls out for you, prompting you to turn to him. “I wish I could say I’m happy to see you before our scheduled check-up, but it’s never a good thing seeing a patient here before I’m supposed to.”
“Hi,” you smile, returning his hug. “I suppose it isn’t. But I didn’t know what to do. It was getting too painful.”
“Tell me what happened,” he instructs.
And so you do, telling him of the times you’d experienced this since your last meeting, and how it had hurt too much earlier, forcing you to come here. Jungkook holds your hand the entire time, and you’re immersed in your narration that you miss the way his jaws clench and unclench as he listens to your stories.
Clearly this isn’t the first time it’s happened, although it’s the first time that he’s hearing about it. It seems like you’ve been experiencing this and chose not to tell him.
“What do you think may have triggered it?” Dr. Kwon asks.
“I don’t really know,” you shrug. “I mean, I’ve sort of been doing the same things - working at the firm, doing my own pieces, teaching art classes… just focused on my regular job.”
“Looks like it’s 2 jobs too many,” he responds, his eyebrow arching the way that doctors do when they catch you doing something you shouldn’t.
“I rest and exercise and take my medication,” you counter. “All the work is fine. It’s an imperfect heart we’re working with, you know?” You giggle, trying to diffuse the tension.
Dr. Kwon just shakes his head and returns to his records. “So you’ve got the x-ray and ECG done. You’ll have blood tests after this then we can do the 2D echo in the evening after I schedule it. I’ll need you to be confined for the other tests.”
“What other tests? Can’t I come back tomorrow and do them then?” You ask, not really keen on spending the night at the hospital.
“It’ll be easier to monitor you from here, especially since the pain seems recurring. But I’ll schedule the stress test and MRI tomorrow morning so you can go home right after,” he responds. “Better ask someone to pack you and your husband some clothes. I’ll have the nurse pick you up to bring you to your room; just wait here.”
You nod as Jungkook lets go of your hand.
“You’ve had 2 tests done already? What time did you get here?” He asks, his voice low and disappointed.
“Around 2:30,” you respond casually.
Jungkook feels his own heart rate shoot up. It’s 4PM, and he’s sure it was just half an hour ago when his brother had cut off their discussions to tell him that you’d called about your whereabouts. The fact that you didn’t call him - your husband - much earlier is making him incredibly upset. He wants to ask you why you’d delayed it, why you’ve been keeping all this from him, when you planned on telling him if it didn’t get this bad.
But knowing you, you’d pick up on this, and he doesn’t want to add to you feeling any more pain that you apparently have been experiencing, so he takes a breath and lets things go for now, and he just nods.
He gazes at you looking pale and nervous, and he tries to think of how you may be feeling - back in the hospital when you’d believed everything was already okay.
“Baby,” he says, cupping your face so you’d look at him. “We have to believe that things are fine, alright? That this isn’t serious. Worrying too much might make things worse.”
They’re things he doesn’t fully believe in himself. He doesn’t know what’s going on. He never experienced this with you; he hadn’t even known about your condition until 3 years ago, and he doesn’t know how you are when you’re in pain and what you need him to do or be for you. But he has to put aside his own concerns because this is about you, and the only thing he knows to be right now is strong so you can take that strength from him, too.
You smile, much more genuinely than you did earlier, and Jungkook thinks it’s a good first step.
“I’ll be okay, hun. Sorry I pulled you out of your meeting. Junghyun said that you did well, though,” you say, pulling him into a hug, your arms finally wrapping around his waist while his envelopes around yours.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter. You were here in pain while I was doing my presentation when I could’ve been with you,” he replies, trying to temper his voice. “I could’ve screwed up or completely missed it for all I care.”
“Nonsense, Kook,” you turn to him again. “You’ve been working so hard on that. I managed to get here on my own.”
You rest your head on his torso, not seeing his hardened and helpless face at how you casually dismiss what you’re experiencing and talk about his work like it’s all that matters when you’re the one in the hospital right now.
You still should’ve called, he wants so badly to say. I would’ve come here right away. But he decides against it. He was never good at bottling his feelings; he supposes he needs to learn that from you. He does it anyway, knowing that this isn’t the time nor place to get mad at you for it.
“Kook, can you be the one to talk to my mother?” You ask, giving him your phone. “She’s been calling and I’m too dizzy to rehash everything.”
“Okay, I will,” he responds, guiding you to lay on the bed and letting you take a nap first.
He calls your mother, then his, then your brother and sister, and then Nari and Yeji. There are so many people to update about your status but he pushes through it, despite the same words of you experiencing pain and needing to be monitored for the night becoming harder and harder for him to say.
“She seems fine, just looks tired as of now,” Jungkook informs each one. “We’ll know more tomorrow.”
They’ll drop by in the evening, they all say, and he’s thankful that there’ll at least be distractions, and he won’t have to be with you alone for long. He supposes that’s better, otherwise he’ll be tempted to push for answers on why you kept all this from him.
He calls Mr. Yu and Mrs. Na and instructs them to prepare your clothes for your stay and bring them over to the hospital. “Please buy a box of macarons on your way here,” he tells the chauffeur. “And her chamomile tea as well.”
Jungkook sits on the chair next to you and watches you take your nap. He sees you take deep breaths and he can sense your struggle, causing him to worry once more. You catch yourself and jerk awake.
“Was it hurting again?” He asks.
“A little,” you respond, raising yourself up off the bed.
“Just keep breathing. Here, drink some water.”
You follow as he says, and that’s when the nurse arrives and informs you that the VIP room is ready. You’re led there by wheelchair - an all too familiar scene - and Jungkook helps you lie down on the bed. The nurse takes blood samples and informs you of the scheduled test in 2 hours then leaves you right after.
“Tell me about your presentation,” you urge your husband. “What did they say?”
Work is the last thing that Jungkook wants to be talking about right now. He hates thinking about being in that room while you were here and all alone. You smile tenderly, as if you really want to know what took place, so he forces himself to think about it.
“That the project proposal was well-designed and well-thought out. I set out the plans and the entire process and got to show the expected outcomes and return of investment,” he explains. “They said it was sound and profitable, and that they were surprised I pulled it off on my own.”
“It’s silly that they still doubt you,” you frown. “Of course you’d pull it off. You’re innovative and incredibly hardworking, honey. They should know that by now.”
“Nah, I'm used to it,” he shrugs. “They’d take every chance they get to remind me that I’m not my brother.”
“And you aren’t, because you’re your own self with your strengths and own conviction. And don’t tell Junghyun, but you’re definitely funnier.”
Jungkook manages to chuckle a little, and your smile grows at the sound. “That last bit is definitely true,” he hums. “Thanks, babe. Though I didn’t mean to be so down.”
“Not at all. I just wanted to remind you of how good you are,” you comfort him, reaching out your hand that he takes. You sit up and pull him close. “You’re so good at so many things. Remember that.”
You cup his cheeks and kiss his lips, something you realize you haven’t done since he got here. It’s slow and gentle, which is exactly what you need after a scary experience; all you’ve been wanting is his touch and the comfort you get from being close to him.
Jungkook indulges you, kissing you back with just as much tenderness, and you smile against him, knowing that whatever happens, you have him next to you. And as long as he is, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
The knock on the door pulls you both apart, and you hear the familiar voices of both your parents and siblings who all hug you one by one.
A flurry of questions about how you’re feeling and what will happen next overwhelm you but you should’ve expected this; no one really thought you’d be back here after all these years.
Shortly after, your friends arrive and you have to say the same things, and you fumble for Jungkook’s hand next to you to keep you stable.
You dislike this part - the one where everyone is worried and no answer or assurance from you would be enough, and you hate that they have to go through that anxiety of not knowing as well. But you just smile through it and downplay the pain.
“It’s probably nothing; it’s more like a precaution thing, you know?” You reason. “I’m fine. Please, don’t worry too much.”
You mask the desperation with your smile, and you’re almost glad that Dr. Kwon enters and informs you that the nurses will start prepping you for your 2D echo.
“Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” he greets. “Not so great to see both of you.”
“Likewise,” your parents chuckle. “It’s never a good thing being back here, huh? But what happened? Why is she experiencing this so suddenly?”
“Well, your daughter did say that the chest pains have been recurring,” he responds.
“They have?” Your parents frown at you.
“They weren’t that bad,” you reason. “I mean, they weren’t painful to warrant a visit.”
“But this time it was,” Seokjin crosses his arms, looking disappointed. “And to the emergency room at that.”
“I didn’t faint or anything,” you reason. “Look, I’m fine now. It’s probably just stress. ”
“___, what did I say about stress? You’re not just like anyone who can experience it and then be fine. It’s not that simple,” Dr. Kwon warns.
“I know,” you whisper, feeling like that 13-year old child again who felt helpless when she was first told of the many things she couldn’t do despite having a normally functioning heart already. You’d like to think you’ve followed all the rules since then; it’s just lately when you’ve been more brave and wanting to do more.
“But is she going to be okay?” Soyeon asks this time.
“I suppose. The test results aren’t alarming and it seems it’s still bearable, but we’ll know more tomorrow,” he responds. “For now, she just needs to rest and take things easy.”
Everyone nods in agreement. The door opens with the nurses taking you away to be prepped. Jungkook kisses your forehead and tells you to just push through it and that it will be fine; you always said you disliked the pain from this specific test.
Back in the room, Jungkook feels light-headed. Perhaps he’s still reeling over seeing you on a hospital bed, being wheeled out and leaving him behind to wonder how much pain you’re in or how your heart looks like. Maybe it’s being in the room with your family and friends and all their questions that he doesn’t have answers to. He thinks it’s this new experience for him - this kind of fear that he’s never experienced before. It’s probably all of those, so he excuses himself to buy some snacks in the store just to get out of there.
Seokjin promptly follows his brother-in-law. “I want some snacks, too,” he responds after the younger man looks at him questioningly.
They walk in silence for a while before Seokjin asks. “Did you know about the other times?”
“No,” Jungkook almost whispers, his hands in his pockets as he mindlessly walks down the hallway. “She also only called earlier after 2 tests were done. I feel so fucking useless.”
“Hey, you aren’t, okay?” Seokjin sighs.
“If I wasn’t then I should’ve known about all the other times, and I could’ve convinced her to get checked earlier. Then she wouldn’t have needed to come here like this; then it wouldn’t have been this painful,” Jungkook responds, his voice more helpless now.
“Kook, you wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you. You’re not together 24/7. I love my sister but sometimes she tends to brush things off like that, thinking that the short-term burden of her sickness will just go away. But not this time. We just have to believe it’s not serious.”
Jungkook just nods, all the thoughts screaming at him and he just wants to lay next to you but also be away from you because how could you keep something like this from him.
There aren’t any more words exchanged, but Seokjin stays with his brother-in-law as they buy snacks and walk towards the wing where you are, probably currently squirming in pain as your chest is being pressed to get that image of your heart.
It’s some time later when they hear Dr. Kwon’s voice, calling for them.
“Jungkook,” he says. “It’s not surgery. You don’t have to be waiting here.” There’s a soft smile on his face, however, so that calms the younger man down a little.
“Just wanted to immediately know how she is,” he responds. “___ said she doesn’t like this test.”
“Ah, yeah she doesn’t,” Dr. Kwon chuckles. “She would pout her way out of even if she knows it won’t work. She did say she wished you were there with her though, holding her hand.”
“But what did you see?” Seokjin asks.
“A tired heart,” Dr. Kwon replies. “I honestly hope that’s all, but I’ll have to look through all the test results to be sure that there isn’t anything else.”
Your husband and brother sigh in relief.
“But keep an eye on her, okay?” The doctor tells Jungkook. “She mentioned feeling pain when she’s asleep so watch out for that. She just needs to breathe and be soothed. The tests tomorrow will tell me more but I can already tell you that she needs to rest.”
“I’ll make sure of that,” Jungkook responds, his eyes softening at the sight of you smiling when you see him.
“You were waiting for me?” You ask.
Jungkook only nods but your brother responds, “everyone was so noisy in the room so we walked around. And got some snacks.”
You smile at them as they walk with you while being wheeled away to your room. You enter and sense the aroma of beef bone soup, and Minhyuk grins proudly at your satisfied face.
“You always said that hospital food didn’t excite you,” he says.
You express your thanks and the nurse announces your need to rest after dinner, prompting everyone to decide on leaving already.
Seokjin, who’d earlier sensed your husband’s own stress, whispers to him. “Just hold it in for now, okay? She’ll be alright.”
As the last parson leaves, Jungkook sits next to you on the bed and you both eat the delicious meal. He surprises you with the dessert he had bought and prepares your tea as you like to take before sleeping.
“Thank you, Kook,” you exclaim, kissing his cheek. “I’ll just wash up so we can both rest.”
“Do you need help?”
“I’m fine, I can do it in my own,” you assure him, disappearing into the bathroom.
Left alone for awhile, Jungkook takes to heart what your brother had advised him - hold it in for now. Knowing that you tend to absorb your husband’s own emotions - as you’d said once that it’s natural for you, that it’s how you get to empathize with him - he does as he’s told. He holds it in - the disappointment, the sadness, the doubt… and tells himself that this is about you and what’s best for you right now.
You finish up and he helps you in bed, then he washes himself, exiting the bathroom in his shirt and pajama pants.
“Do you want me to sleep next to you?” He asks. “You always said it’s hard to sleep without me.”
He gives the idea, knowing that it’s the only way for him to know if you feel pain while in slumber. He doesn’t think he trusts you in telling him otherwise.
“Yes, can you?” You ask excitedly.
“I guess? It’s a big bed. I’m sure we’ll fit.”
So he scoots in next to you as you give him space, and you immediately wrap your arms around his torso as he wraps one around your shoulder. He supports himself against the headboard with his other arm behind his head.
He lets you listen to his heartbeat, confident that they’re perfectly normal, as if he isn’t buzzing deep inside.
“So how was your day going before all this happened?” He asks to eliminate the silence that’s suddenly feeling awkward for him.
“I was just at the studio,” you respond, snuggling next to him and enjoying the comfort of his warm body. “I got to finish a design study and then had class with the kids.”
“Did it start hurting then?”
“Hmm, right after, just when I was fixing up,” you say, slowly dozing off.
Having your class schedule memorized because it’s your favorite thing to talk about, Jungkook knows what time that was, and he knows you could’ve informed him then if you wanted. But you didn’t.
“So you just came here on your own?”
“Yeah,” you hum. “I hailed a cab. It’s a good thing that the hospital’s just near the studio.”
What if it wasn’t, he thinks. What if you were driving when it happened? What if there were no available cabs and it took long for you to get here? What if you were somewhere else where no one knew you? What if something worse had happened, and then he wouldn’t have known it at all because you waited so long to call him?
“Why didn’t you call me?” He manages to ask.
Somehow he has an idea of what you’ll say. You’ve only been married awhile but he knows enough about your courteousness, how you don’t like to burden other people, how you always put others before yourself. You’d developed that attitude because you don’t like being fussed over; you dislike having others worry about you. He noticed it earlier when you took his hand and held onto it tightly as your loved ones asked how you were feeling. And so he knows what’s coming next. He just didn’t think it would hurt and anger him this much.
“You were busy with work, Kook,” you mumble, and he knows you’re about to fall asleep. “Felt like I could manage and I did.”
What if you didn’t, he thinks again. What if it was someone else who’d called him? What would he do then?
“Sorry,” you add. “Just didn’t want to worry you.”
He hears you take a long breath and the succeeding low snores let him know you’ve fallen asleep. It’s been a long day for you, after all.
It’s been a long one for him, too. But unlike you, he’s filled with too many emotions to fall asleep. And contrary to what you wanted, he’s worrying even more. He’s worried about your condition. And he’s worried about himself.
Hold it in for now, Seokjin had told him.
Jungkook will try. But he doesn’t know for how long he can, and he doesn’t know how he’ll deal with you - how you’ll deal with it - once he’s unable to keep it in anymore.
Jungkook didn’t get a wink of sleep. Other than being unable to because he wanted to make sure that he’d be awake should you feel any sort of pain, he also couldn’t help but think about what you’d said.
In your few years of being married, you’d had small and brief arguments, mostly stemming from how incredibly different you both deal with emotions and conflict.
You tend to be unnecessarily courteous at times and too patient. You also prefer to let tension fade rather than addressing it, so more than half the time, any negative emotions you have are kept in and rarely ever mentioned. You don’t hold grudges, though, and you easily forgive, unlike Jungkook who’s always very transparent about what he feels. He talks about things, and he always talks about them with you, whether it’s about you or something else.
Despite all this, your little misunderstandings never escalated. They never really lasted, because more than half the time, he’s the one crawling next to you, hugging you tightly and saying that he doesn’t care whose fault it is, just that he wants to be okay again. He admits that a lot of times, it’s on him. He gets too emotional, too proud, too shortsighted, and unable to let things go. But right now, he doesn’t care if he’s all of that. He’ll feel what he’s feeling; he just won’t be able to express it fully.
The knock on the door puts him out of his thoughts. The nurse enters and Jungkook has to wake you for your MRI and stress test today.
“You’ll be okay to wait here?” You ask, as you watch him from the bathroom door.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just think about what you’ll do this morning. Don’t worry about me,” he says dryly.
“Okay, I’ll see you after.”
You’re wheeled out and Jungkook allows himself to fall asleep. He’s still exhausted from preparing for his presentation yesterday, and he’s dealing with too many thoughts in his head about you, about both of you, and an hour or so of slumber is what he needs.
He’s awoken by a phone call over an hour later, and he’s reminded that he failed to inform his team that he won’t be going to the office today. Perks of being the CEO’s son, he tells himself, but he also can’t bring himself to think about work and the project that he has to fine tune for immediate implementation.
All he can think about is you. And despite feeling anger and hurt, he also just wants you to feel okay. He hopes that deal that your parents made with the universe when you were born - the one where they asked to keep you alive and they’ll give you a life you’ll be happy with in return - holds up for the longest it possibly can. Regardless of what he feels about you, he also knows that seeing you smile can make him forget about his own pain.
And that’s what happens, albeit temporarily, when you return to the room and see a breakfast spread prepared for you, one that Jungkook had asked Mr. Yu to buy.
You smell the carnations that’s come with your meal and your face lights up.
“Where did you get this, Kook?”
“There’s a flower shop in the other building,” he responds. “Thought that can make you feel better.”
“Of course,” you say, walking towards him where he’s seated on the day bed. “But you’re also here and that's really all I need.”
Then why didn’t you ask me to come earlier, the question rings in his head. But he lets it stay there. For all the times that he’d willingly and easily put you first, he didn’t think that holding all his emotions in for your sake would be the hardest.
He hugs you back then lets you rest your head on his shoulders as you talk about the tests and that you have 2 hours before Dr. Kwon can meet you for the results and diagnosis.
You and Jungkook use the time to eat, take a shower, and pack your things. It’s not long after when you’re in your cardiologist’s clinic where he explains your condition.
“As I suspected, your heart is overworking,” he says. “Fortunately, the tests show no holes, no enlargement, or any other complications.”
You breathe a sigh of relief and take Jungkook’s hand. You didn’t want to be thinking of the worst and this is definitely not it. It had hurt so much yesterday that you were almost sure there was something severely wrong again, but this is actually welcome news. At least it’s something you know; it’s something that you can deal with, and it’s something you can easily address.
“What’s causing it?” Jungkook asks.
“Stress, perhaps. And lack of sleep,” the doctor answers, turning to you. “I know you’re eating well and exercising, but there’s still so much you’re doing. All that mental and physical and emotional exhaustion pushes your heart to overwork, to pump blood more than it’s capable of doing.”
“What does this mean, then?” Your husband asks once more. “I mean, what should she do? Will it get worse? How can we prevent this from happening again?”
“She should rest. And I mean, rest.” Dr. Kwon glares at you to emphasize his point. “Take a few days off from work, do some very light exercise, and have a change in medication. It will only get worse if she doesn’t let her heart breathe, if she doesn’t let it take its time to do its job properly. I know it sounds simple but that’s really it; there’s no shortcut to it. It’s just something to be done consistently.”
“Okay,” you hum. “I can take the week off. I can just turn over my design studies at the firm and then get back to it after. And the kids will understand if I don’t see them this weekend. My exhibition also isn’t in 3 months so I have time to get back to my pieces.”
“___, I don’t mean to rest for just this week,” he responds. “You’re gonna have to rethink all the work that you’re doing because it’s too much for you, and this isn’t me telling you what you can or can’t do. Your heart is functioning normally, but it’s still relatively weak, weaker than a normal one’s. Sure, there are things you can do now that you couldn’t before but being perpetually stressed isn’t one of them, okay? And I feel that as long as you’re doing all those things at the same time, you’ll always be at risk.”
“So you’re telling me that I have to let one of those go?” You look up at him, feeling heartbroken that you’re gonna have to give up one of the things that’s been giving you so much joy.
“It’s more practical than cutting off your time in all those. It’s still work, ___. As long as you’re doing all of them, you’re gonna keep spending time on them, and you won’t even notice it.”
You sigh, knowing he’s right. You do so much on a normal day; work doesn’t end even on the weekends. It just doesn’t feel that way because you get to do it at home and you manage your own schedule and you genuinely enjoy it, but you have been feeling the exhaustion all over your body. You know there’s more to lose if you don’t follow his orders.
“Okay then. The next exhibition will be my last for a while,” you announce, deciding right then.
“Are you sure, babe?” Jungkook asks, surprised. He thought for sure that that would be the last thing you’ll let go. “Don’t you have invitations in Paris and Mexico?”
“I can pass,” you smile faintly. “I’ve still got commissions that I’ll spread out. I’m sure the patrons will understand. There’s this big project at the firm that I’m so excited to do and I can’t abandon my team. And the kids…” you sigh, “I love them too much. They take my stress away so I can’t let go of the art classes that I teach.”
“But you’ve been waiting for the shows, too,” Jungkook reminds you. “Those are huge and not easy to get invited to.”
“I know but there’s gonna be another time,” you say. “And if there isn’t, then that’s fine. I can always paint, Kook, even when I’m gray and old. But all the other things? I can still manage them. I wanna help my team, I wanna teach the kids… those things matter more.”
Other people always matter more, Jungkook tells himself. Your art is what you’ve loved your whole life, he knows that much.
“It’s really up to you, but it’s good that you’ve thought about it already,” Dr. Kwon says. “You just really need to stabilize your heart for now. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“I will,” you smile at him. “And uh, I just want to ask. This won’t affect any future pregnancies, right?”
You nibble your lips, and Jungkook can see the nervousness in your eyes.
“Not unless it’s immediate. Are you both—”
“No,” you interject. “I mean, if it happens then it does but we aren’t really… uh,” you turn to your husband, knowing that despite the last conversation you had about this months ago, you’re still unsure of how comfortable or open he is talking about this. “We haven’t planned everything out yet. But I just wanted to make sure that this whole… overworking heart thing isn’t going to risk me and our future baby. I don’t… I don’t know how I’ll handle a complication.”
“Your condition will always be a factor but you’re not in any more risk than you were before this incident,” Dr. Kwon assures you. “You don’t have to give up everything. But just always consult and make sure you rest. That's really all I can tell you.”
“I’d give it all up when I’m pregnant if I need to,” you giggle, missing the way Jungkook’s gaze saddens at your words.
Clearly that desire hasn’t waned, and the worry on your face at the thought of what this scare could mean to your future family - one that he’s still not able to give you - says a lot. But that scares him, too. Would you be open about your struggles once you’re pregnant unlike what you’re being now? Would you be honest and open? Would you let him carry your burden with you?
“Well, I guess that’s it, then,” Dr. Kwon announces, handing you the prescription of your new medication. “I’ll see you again in 2 months for your regular check-up.”
You bid your goodbye and head out, taking Jungkook’s hand as you walk to pay the bills. He doesn’t say much, merely humming to your musings the whole time - when you head to the car, on the way home, and when he decides to take an afternoon nap.
That night, after you both had food delivered for dinner and have washed up, you wait for him in bed as he sends emails to his staff. You kiss him goodnight and turn your back towards him, ready for his tight hug and his nuzzle on your neck. But he doesn’t.
He merely gently lays his hand on your hip and doesn’t pull you close. He doesn’t kiss your shoulders nor tell you he loves you or that he’ll see you in his dreams like he always does.
There’s silence where there shouldn’t be, and you slowly fall asleep to drown out the worried thoughts in your head. Maybe he’s just tired, you reason to yourself. Maybe he’s still processing what just happened. Either way, it’s just tonight, and you know your husband - he’d never been able to resist you. And you let that comfort you. Tomorrow, things will be back to normal. Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and fall asleep in his arms again.
The mid-morning sun peeking through the blinds provides you with much needed warmth that you’d missed last night. There was no arm wrapped around you, no hot breath on your neck or soft lips on your skin. It felt cold, even with the blanket covering your body, and you have half a mind to go to Jungkook’s office for that morning kiss that you didn’t get and which usually wakes you a little everyday.
But to your surprise, you hear his voice, deep and low as he gives instructions to whoever it is he’s speaking to. You get off the bed and find him in his office nook, in an online meeting with his team. As it looks, he probably decided on working from home to look after you.
You know that he has to iron out details of the new project and delegate tasks to his team. Those from the Busan and Daegu offices have to be briefed, too, and you can just imagine how much is on his plate yet he’s home because of you. Sighing, you turn around to head to the bathroom when his voice stops you.
“___? Everything okay?”
You look at him and see that he’s turned off his video, his questioning eyes greeting you.
“Yeah, just feeling a bit bad that you have to be home when you should be out there with your team,” you share. There’s a small, selfish part of you that’s glad that you get to spend time with him, though it’s not something that you say.
Jungkook shrugs. “We can manage. Are you feeling better? No pain or anything?”
“Better, yes. And no, no pain,” you reply. “Have you eaten?”
“Yeah,” he responds. “I asked Mrs. Na to stay over for the next few days since I’ll be working from home and I won’t be able to cook for you. She’s downstairs so just tell her what you want.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll go there, then,” you say dryly. You wish he could join you but then again, he’s working from home; he’s not on a break or anything.
“Just call me if you start to feel anything different.”
You nod and quickly wash up before heading to the kitchen for breakfast, chatting with Mrs. Na. It’s been a while since you’ve caught up with her, the woman who looked after you growing up.
That whole morning, Jungkook heads downstairs twice only, both times to grab coffee and ask you if you’re feeling okay. You are, and much as you want to tell him not to worry, you want him to seek you out. It seems as if that’s the only time he’s interested in speaking to you, anyway. He’s worked from home a few times and just like when he pulls all-nighters, he’d always insisted on having you close by.
Not today, though. Ironically, it seems as if he’s home to keep you at a distance. That night, he sleeps late, and so do you. You wait for him to come to bed, ready for even his slightest touch to assure you that he’s here. He does come to bed at 2AM, but the touch doesn’t come. You take a peak over your shoulder and there he is, on his side of the bed, with his back turned against you.
Jungkook insists on seeing your families that weekend - Saturday with yours and Sunday with his. Being out of the house to feel the fresh air seems quite the experience. You’ve only been cooped up in your house for a few days but you already feel like suffocating, even more with your husband’s passiveness towards you.
Just as he continued to work at home, so did his minimal conversations with you and absence of affection. He’s kissed your hand a few times and it was only because you were cupping his cheek, but he doesn’t do more, doesn’t say more. You’ve come to expect nothing from him, if you’re being honest.
You watch from the kitchen of Junghyun’s home as Jungkook speaks to Yeri, massaging his temples, and your sister-in-law, a doctor, seems to be instructing him on what to do and what to take, scribbling something on a pad and giving it to him.
You reckon that his headache hasn’t gone away, but you wouldn’t know how painful it is because there’s nothing about him now that he’s sharing. He used to pout at you to tend to a small paper cut but somehow, he just can’t bring himself to tell you how he’s feeling and where it hurts.
“You holding up okay?” Junghyun interrupts your thoughts.
“For the most part, yeah,” you respond, glancing at your husband again who’s now laid his head on the couch, his eyes closed shut.
“And the other part?” Junghyun cocks an eyebrow.
“Just worried about how stressed Jungkook is,” you sigh. “I wish he’ll give himself time to rest. He barely sleeps. I… I don’t feel him close, especially at night.”
“Well, the project is at its planning stages and he’s managing all the teams from home,” the older man explains. “And then there’s you.”
“Me, the burden,” you sigh, hating the thought.
The older man is familiar with your musings. It’s why you didn’t want people knowing about your condition; it’s why you didn’t want Jungkook to know. You always despised being someone’s baggage, and right now, Junghyun thinks it’s what you feel.
“You really scared him, you know?” He nudges your shoulder to get your attention back that’s focused on your husband. “He’s experienced a car accident, getting lost in a cave, skydiving… yet he’s never been more scared than finding out that you were in the hospital. He looked even more helpless that he wasn’t there with you. And as his brother, I was afraid of how he was gonna take it. You know how he is.”
“Exactly. He worries a lot. Too much sometimes,” you agree.
“As he should, especially since you don’t. Or at least, since you don’t show it.”
With your silence, he knows he’s right.
“You were scared, too, weren’t you?” He asks this time.
You nod, fighting back the tears. “I’d forgotten how it used to hurt. I kept thinking that it was gonna subside, you know? That it was gonna go away right away but it didn’t. And I just didn’t want him to worry too much. I didn’t want him to be scared because I was. I didn’t want him to carry that with him if there was a chance that it really was nothing. I don’t like seeing him helpless, Junghyun. I don’t like seeing him feel like he’s not enough to make it not hurt.”
“I don’t think that’s something you can control, ___. You’re his weakness. There’s nothing that scares or hurts him more than your fears and your pain. That’s kind of what love is, you know?” Junghyun continues. “That’s part of being married. And when you have children, you’ll learn that it’s part of being parents, too. You can’t be the only one carrying it all. That’s what having a partner is all about. It isn’t just you. And it isn’t just about you.”
Jungkook wakes up from the nap he didn’t realize he’s taken and finds you, wrapped in his brother’s arms who seems to be whispering something in your ear as well. He can sense it’s another one of those comforting things that Junghyun’s always given you, and while Jungkook has long accepted that special friendship you share with the man you look up to, it doesn’t take away the small bit of envy over the fact that you trust Junghyun, that you let yourself be honest with him.
It’s an accepted fact by everyone, including Seokjin who knows that his overprotective tendencies compared to Junghyun’s calm nature have led you to open up to the latter one more.
But for Jungkook to see you get comfort from someone else who isn’t him and be hurt by it makes him feel hypocritical, especially since he’s been distancing himself from you, too. He only checks up on you just so he won’t lose his mind, but he doesn’t know anything else.
Are you scared or worried? How bored are you at home? What do you wish to do? Is there a place you want to go to? Do you miss his touch as much as he misses yours? Does it hurt you to be close to him as much as it hurts him? Do you feel angry and disappointed like he is?
Jungkook wouldn’t know. He also doesn’t know how he can love someone so much yet feel so powerless, so useless, so hurt by them. Your love always made him better, but he didn’t think it would ever let him down like this.
It’s not pure jealousy he feels when you finally pull away and smile at Junghyun. It’s a mix of emotions, really. Jungkook wants to comfort you but he feels upset. He misses you but he doesn’t want to say anything that would hurt you. He wants to be the one you run to but he can’t bring himself to be close to you. He wants you to feel his love but he doesn’t know how to show it.
You meet his eyes as you turn towards the living room, but Jungkook looks away. He busies himself on his phone and keeps to himself during dinner. He holds your hand during the car ride home when you reach for him and then lets you lay his arm on your waist when you both sleep that night, with your back against his chest while he feels you still so far away.
He doesn’t get to sleep much just like every night. He worries you’d feel pain again. Somehow he wants to be alert enough to know you’re still breathing; he needs the sound of your soft snores to assure him that you’re alive, that you’re still next to him despite his unwillingness to be close.
Is this what love is like behind closed doors? He’d been surrounded by his family and yours and only seen the happy parts of it. When it came to Jungkook’s past relationships, he broke it off after the first fight because he didn’t think it was love if it hurt or made him angry like that.
But now there’s you, and even if he feels every possible negative emotion out there, all he thinks about is just how much he loves you. All he knows is that he can’t live without you. But right now, he also can’t deny that he’s upset.
Maybe love is like this, he thinks. Once the honeymoon phase has lapsed, your differences surface, and you have to learn how to navigate it all without losing yourself and the other person, without drowning in the depths of both of your shortcomings, and then coming out the other side still intact and willing to learn and grow.
Monday comes and you wake up to the sound of keyboard typing once again. Jungkook hasn’t been going to the office despite needing to physically meet the teams who’ll be working on the project, and you hate that he feels like he has to babysit you even if you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself. Mrs. Na is home; you don’t want Jungkook to have to give up even more than he needs to.
You don’t bring it up though, not wanting to interrupt him during his incredibly busy day, as he goes from one meeting to another. It’s the next day when you wake up to the same scene that you finally suggest going back to work.
“Hun, you can go to the office, you know?” You say sleepily as you stand by the door. “I’m sure it’ll be easier to manage everything from there. I’m fine here, I promise.”
He turns towards you as he types on his phone. “And if you aren’t, would you call me?” He looks at you pointedly. “Will you let me know this time?”
They don’t seem like rhetorical questions, but they’re not something you want to answer, given the hint of bitterness in them. Jungkook says it blankly, almost devoid of emotions that it shakes you because of how unfamiliar he sounds.
You don’t answer, and he faces his laptop to continue with his work. “I’m fine here,” he repeats your words. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
You let the next 2 days pass while slowly retreating into yourself. You’re bored out of your mind but you can’t do anything remotely productive or entertaining. Much as you can sneak in time to paint, there’s no thought or inspiration that’s pushing you to create something. The TV shows suddenly seem boring without Jungkook to talk about them with, and even your books can’t keep your attention long enough past one chapter.
It doesn’t help that you can hear your husband’s frustrated groans as he gets off a phone call or as he types away. His raised voice echoes from his small office down to the living room. You want to let him rest, relieve him in some way, or comfort him like you used to do, but you don’t think any of those would be welcome. He’s told you enough with the absence of his touch that he doesn’t want any of that.
If you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t think he wants you right now either.
Jungkook surprisingly goes to bed early that evening, and he’s tucked under the covers by the time you lay next to him after a warm bath.
“You feeling alright?” He asks with his eyes still closed, as he feels the dip on the mattress.
“Yeah,” you muster enough energy to respond.
“Okay,” he hums, turning to his side away from you again and by now, you’d be surprised if he didn’t.
You turn on your side, too, content on just imagining his soft smile and the sparkle in his eyes when he speaks to you. Those have gone away somehow, and there’s a twitch in your heart that’s not caused by overworking; it’s caused by the feeling of distance you didn’t think you’d ever feel with the man you’d promised to love your whole life.
It’s afternoon the next day when you find yourself more frustrated than anything. You wanted to go to the park and get some fresh air but Jungkook insisted on going with you, commenting once more that you may not call him if something comes up. It usually takes a lot to make you irate but his snide remarks and aversion towards you have slowly been eating you up inside.
You decided against going out, not wanting to take him away from work, especially as you’d heard him raising his voice at someone on the phone, his groans echoing throughout the loft once more.
You always loved being around Jungkook. Whether he was busy at work, frustrated over something, or being needy or clingy, he makes you feel wanted. It’s the random kiss on your cheek or his loving glance or the way he’d affectionately call you ‘baby’ or when he’s finally next to you and he doesn’t want to let you go. But right now he’s being confusing - he wants to be where you are but he somehow finds it difficult to be around you, to talk to you, to look at you, to be close to you.
“You should go for a run or head to the gym or something,” you tell him from the living room when he heads down to the kitchen for a glass of water.
“Why should I?”
“So you can release your frustrations elsewhere,” you turn to him, looking him straight in the eyes but he looks away. “Your desk will break if you hit it one more time. And you’ve been snapping at your staff and that’s not how you should be treating them. Just go, take a break. Work can wait. You just need to clear your mind.”
“And if I go, would you call if something happens?”
It’s that line again, but by now it’s gotten old.
“Nothing will, and if something does, I won’t be alone,” you respond. “Yeji and Nari are coming. I asked them over, so you can go spend time on your own. I know you want to, since you can’t seem to stand me. You won’t talk to me, you won’t look at me… might as well just spend a few hours away from me.”
Maybe then you’d start missing me, you don’t say.
“Fine, I’ll go when they get here.”
He doesn’t refute, he just accepts. In your mind, that’s him agreeing. A part of you hoped he’d say you’re wrong, that you’re just imagining things, or maybe explain why he’s been acting the way he has. It isn’t like him to bite his tongue and not express himself through words. He’d never had a problem doing that, you remind yourself.
It isn’t like you to let your emotions get the better of you, too, as you let a tear fall when he heads back to your room with no other words said.
He hears your friends arrive, as not long after they do, he hurries down the stairs and walks out the door, his jacket hood over his head and his gym bag slung over his shoulder.
“Okay, talk to us,” Nari says, as she watches the exchange between you and your husband, a rare sight indeed, as all she’s known of both of you since falling in love was that unabashed joy and affection that’s infectious and heartwarming.
Folding your knees and hugging them tightly, you pout then let the tears fall. “He hasn’t held me since we got back from the hospital,” you say. “He barely talks to me, he doesn’t look at me. He’s cold and irritable and distant, l…”
You take a deep breath and lean onto Yeri’s shoulder when she pulls you for a hug. “He’s been working at home but his presence is so intimidating and tense.”
“Maybe it’s just work,” your best friend reasons as she hugs you tighter. “Isn’t there a big project that he got approved? It might just be the pressure, you know? And what happened to you is worrisome. Maybe it’s all just piling up.”
“But he’s never been like this,” you insist, sniffing and trying to find your voice. “He doesn’t just ignore me or act like I’m not around. Even with our small arguments before, he’d never spoken to me coldly or bitterly. He’s never…” you trail, feeling the ache in your heart at the newness of this, of this feeling of being unwanted or needed. “Oh god, I feel so silly. I totally sound like a spoiled, bratty, needy wife.”
“Hey,” Nari nudges you and takes you from Yeri, wiping away your tears and urging you to stop excusing your feelings. “You aren’t being silly. If he’s making you feel that way, then he should be a grown up and tell you directly why, not ignore you and make you feel bad about it. You just went through something terrifying, ___. He should be comforting and taking care of you.”
“Do you know why he’s acting that way?” Yeri asks now. “Because I feel like I do. I mean, knowing you and him, it’s not that hard to figure out.”
It’s your tear-stained face and pouty lips that give it away that you have an idea, too, and both women know that as your best friends, they need to be on your side while also knocking some sense into you.
“Why didn’t you tell him what you’ve been experiencing?” Yeri continues. “Why did you keep it all from him?”
“I thought I could just brush them off without having to make him worry,” you finally answer after a long beat of silence. “If it was nothing, then I didn’t want to burden him with unnecessary things.”
“___, we’ve talked about this,” Nari groans, frustrated because this has always been her issue when it comes to you, how you just brush things off for fear of worrying your loved ones about your condition, without realizing that you’re making the other person feel distrusted, unworthy, powerless. It’s this unnecessary courtesy that she always felt you developed as a coping mechanism because of how overprotected you were growing up, being doted on and treated like a fragile doll who couldn’t break a sweat or be inconvenienced in any way.
“It’s hard to unlearn,” you mumble, knowing what she means. The only way you felt like your illness would stop defining you was if people didn’t know it still affected you.
“So what, you’ll just let it affect your health again like this? And now your marriage, too?” She counters. “I know you don’t want it to, so unlearn it faster. And talk to him. It’s the only way.”
You nod, knowing that some days, you just need your best friends to spell out the things you already know, because somehow it makes sense when they’re the ones telling you.
You sit in between them, anxious about how you’ll face Jungkook when he returns. You were never good at this, and during the few times you and your husband had fought, he’d been the one to initiate talking and working things out, insistent to hold onto your promise to each other of not sleeping until you’ve resolved your issues, no matter how late it already is. But now, he seems to be the one who’s letting it drag on, not wanting to address it or even acknowledge it.
Nari and Yeri help you prepare dinner, as you’d let Mrs. Na go home to attend to family matters. The stew smells amazing, but to be honest, you don’t really have the appetite for it.
They leave after cleaning up, and you’re left with your own thoughts in the quiet of the loft that’s gotten colder, lonelier the past week.
Your heart leaps out of your chest at the sound of the door opening, and you watch in pain as Jungkook merely walks past you and heads towards the stairs.
“Kook, talk to me,” you beg, voice low yet desperate. “Please. I can’t do this anymore.”
This stops him in his tracks and he turns around, his jaw clenched and his eyes unreadable.
“I can’t,” he says, turning away.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to say things I’ll regret. Because I’m angry and upset and I can’t express any of that when you can have another relapse or something.”
“I don’t care,” you exclaim. “Say whatever you want to, and say it now. Because that’s way better than you blatantly ignoring me. Your hurtful words would be better than none at all.”
“Yeah, because I’m the one who’s hurting you, right?” He says, his voice getting louder now. “I’m the one who doesn’t trust you, who’s not honest with you, who keeps secrets and shit… I’m the one who’s at fault for worrying about you being in pain and then being upset that you kept it all from me. Right? You’re the only one who’s hurting? And not me?”
“That’s not what I meant,” you huff, feeling the tears pool in your eyes again.
Jungkook decides against saying something, exhaling deeply instead and massaging his temples as he paces around the living room.
“I was in that fucking room presenting some fucking project while you were in the ER, all on your own, taking tests and just waiting to be told if your illness is back,” he says, seemingly restraining himself.
“If I could spare you the worry, I would,” you argue. “I just wanted to make sure that it wasn’t anything serious before—”
“Before calling?” He scoffs. “You’re my wife and I won’t forgive myself if anything bad happens to you! So what, you were just gonna wait there for bad news and not let me be there for you? What if it was worse and you didn’t manage to get in a cab? What if the hospital was far away and you fainted? What if something was wrong with your heart again? And then I wouldn’t have been there because you didn’t fucking call! Because I didn’t know you were experiencing all that in the first place! Because of all the things that you chose to keep from me, it was this. As if hiding it from me our entire lives wasn’t enough.”
There it is, all the what-ifs in Jungkook’s mind that he’s always been so scared of. He’s never brought himself to envision you in any sort of pain but then you were, and the intense fear of what could’ve happened swam in his mind, and there’s nothing worse than feeling powerless to protect the love of his life from all that.
“If this is about you feeling guilty that you’re not able to do anything–”
“Fuck it is! That and more!” He yells, the frustration overtaking him. “Don’t you get it? I can’t stand you in pain, and I can’t stand it when you feel like you have to bear it on your own, like you have to spare me or something. Yeah, I’m fucking terrified, but I’m still your husband. And you tell me these things,” he heaves. “I’m sorry I worry, or that I overreact or become dramatic and overly cautious, what do you expect? But you can’t hide this from me. I can’t not be your first call. That’s not fucking fair.”
“Kook, honey, I’m sorry,” you cry, trying to reach out for him but he pulls his arm away.
“Are you? You knew what you were doing, ___. You chose not to tell me the first time, and the next, and the one after that. And I had to fucking learn it from my brother again and I just…” Jungkook stops, and you look at him to see that he’s crying, the pain in his eyes so piercing that it’s probably gonna haunt you for days.
“I know you’ve always turned to him and he’s someone you can be honest with but… why can’t you trust me that way?”
“You know that’s not it,” you try to explain. You know that as much as you can reason that you only called Junghyun because Jungkook wasn’t picking up your calls, your husband would argue that you could’ve called way earlier, and he’d be right.
“Then what is it, ___?” He asks, and you realize that the most painful thing he can say is calling you by your name.
“You… you’re always the first for me,” he continues. “Whatever I’m feeling, whatever I did that day, you’re the first person I think about, the one I need to tell everything to; you’re always my first call. It’s always you because we promised each other. Through the good and the bad, it’s me and you. And keeping that promise was never hard because I want it to be you. Because I trust you. And to realize that it’s not the same with you just fucking sucks, okay?” He huffs, sounding defeated.
“What else are you not telling me? That you’re taking more art classes because being with those kids compensates for us not yet having our own because I’m fucking terrified of what that would mean for your health? I mean, how the hell can we have our own kids if you can’t even communicate with me? If you can’t even tell me what you’re feeling? If you don’t even trust that I’ll do everything to ease your pain and be there for you? How could you think that anything else is more important than you are?”
The sob that escapes you is immediate. The scene feels familiar, as the last time you’d cried this hard in front of Jungkook was years ago, in this exact spot, but this time, you know this is on you.
His words should be comforting - he loves you, and he loves hard, he loves openly, bravely, unapologetically. But all you can see is the hurt in his eyes. And all those times that you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let your illness define you feels stupid and hypocritical now, because here you are, hurting the man you love because you wanted to carry the burden on your own. But as you’re learning, being someone’s partner means sharing all that with them, and trusting that you’ll pull through together.
Jungkook watches you cry and this feels familiar, too. He never really fully got to remove this very scene from years ago out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Nothing hurts him more than seeing you like this, but much as he wants to hold you in his arms, he’s afraid to find out that it wouldn’t be enough.
“I’m not really hungry,” he finally says, changing the subject because he honestly can’t bear talking some more. “I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”
He turns around and heads towards the hallway and closes the door, leaving you rooted on the ground to watch him walk away.
There’s a different kind of pain that’s filling your entire body. The one caused by your illness is purely physical, as if you could feel it only the very structure of your organ - it’s straightforward and familiar, something that medication and a few breaths could relieve.
But the one you’re feeling now is different - you feel it all over. There’s a ringing in your head of all the things that Jungkook had said. Your mind is going through all the times he’d called you first, or put you first, or followed through his promise of sharing his world and his heart and his soul with you. There’s that feeling of something missing - his fingers in between the spaces of yours, his arms around your waist, his soft lips against your own. There’s that absence of the affectionate tone of his voice and his boyish laughter, and it’s like without those, you can’t hear anything at all.
The past week has felt like a month of being without him, or at least, being without his comfort and security. It’s like being stripped off of your basic necessities - everything is hard without him, everything is worthless and unhappy and incomplete without him.
Is this what it feels like when you carry everything on your own? When you restrain yourself from sharing your fears and your burdens and your pain with someone else? Because sharing the joy - the good things - doubles it; and now you know that sharing the bad things increases it, too.
You sigh and wipe your tears, thinking of how much more you need to learn about love and marriage and being someone’s lifelong partner. Your grandmother once said you’re so full of love, and you wonder how you could’ve possibly failed at giving it to the person you love the most.
Knees bent against your chest, you hug yourself for that warmth you need, but you aren’t enough for it, as you should know by now. On the other side of the door in the hallway is the person you need, the person you want, the person you love, and there’s no way that you’re going to let him sleep all alone tonight.
Mustering up the courage, you get on your feet and stand outside the room. You want to keep a promise this time, about not sleeping until you’ve both resolved the issue, or at least made up somehow. You don’t want him to go through even just one night thinking that you don’t care enough to face him, to be uncomfortable, to be accountable, because you are. And you want him to know that.
The door creaks open and you find Jungkook in bed, lying on his back with one arm over his eyes. It’s already been half an hour and you’d be surprised if he’s still crying. But you don’t miss his clenched jaw and fist, the frustration clearly still evident.
You walk towards the other side of the bed and slowly position yourself - close enough for the distance not to feel too much, but far enough for him to still pull away.
You reach out for his hand and he flinches a little, but when you uncurl his fingers so you can caress them, he lets you. The sight of your name tattooed on his finger makes you cry again.
He doesn’t like playing soccer or hitting the gym with his ring on, but he doesn’t want - “even for a second,” he’d said - for there to be no trace of your marriage on him. “Seeing it makes me smile,” he’d told you. “I got to marry the prettiest woman on earth and I know when what I do is over, she’ll be there waiting for me.”
Jungkook has always put you first, in every sense possible. Junghyun told you once that his brother has always sought a high from being reckless, from doing what he wanted, when he wanted, but he’s never wanted to do anything right as much as when it comes to loving you.
“I don’t have an excuse for how I handled things, and I handled them pretty terribly,” you start, your voice shaking. “I never got to outgrow that selfishness, that need to always prove to everyone that I can handle things on my own. And it’s because of that that I hurt you, Kook. It’s because of that that you’re feeling like I don’t trust you, that you’re not my first call. And I’m so, so sorry.”
His lips quiver, and he nibbles them to keep himself from sobbing again.
“I’ve needed help and assistance for more than half of my life and that feeling of weakness frustrates me; it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t like burdening others. And you’re right, I’ve been unfair to you; I’ve been unfair to us. It’s this fear of disappointing you, of seeing you scared that makes me think that you don’t need to know trivial things like that and I was wrong. I’m so wrong, Kook,” you continue.
“Because all I’ve wanted this past week was to be with you and tell you I’m scared, that I miss you, that I wish you could comfort me, that I’m so bored and that I want to go out but I want to go out with you. I wanna tell you that my students sent a video, hoping that I’m feeling better and that they’ll be waiting for me. I wanna tell you that I learned how to make egg noodles, and that I’m craving pork soup. I wanna tell you that the medication and rest are working because the chest pains are gone but the palpitations are few and far in between now.”
Wiping your tears, you see that Jungkook is pressing his arm harder on his eyes, and the way he heaves tells you that he’s crying just as much as you are.
“You’ve always tried to understand me and give me my space,” you say. “You’re patient when I don’t open up right away. You make sure to make things easy for me, that I always feel protected and loved and I don’t ever want to take that for granted, Kook. I want to be better; I’ll do better. I’ll love you much better. I just—”
Dark, glassy eyes that are looking at you cut you off, and you see the sadness in them, the care and affection and apology and forgiveness. And somehow, this makes you cry even more.
Jungkook gently nudges your hand that’s still holding his, and it’s your cue to throw yourself next to his side, your arms immediately wrapping around his torso. He’s warm and safe like you remember, even more when he tightens his hold after you cry harder, with your head laid on his chest.
You can hear his breathing and his occasional sniffles. You try to inhale his scent with your stuffy nose, but even if you barely can, you know he smells like comfort, and like always, he smells like home.
“I don’t like it when you cry,” he says softly after a while. “Doesn’t crying make you palpitate or something?”
“A little,” you respond, peeking up at him. His eyes are drier now, but they’re focused on the ceiling. “It was faster earlier but it’s slowed down now.”
“I’m sorry,” he turns to you. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to say those things the way I did.”
“Don’t be,” you respond, wiping your tears. “I had to hear them, and I don’t blame you for how they came out, either.”
“I… I don’t think I’m angry anymore but I’m still upset,” he says softly, apologetically. “I wish I wasn’t but I just…” he trails.
“It’s okay,” you look at him and smile. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. Take your time. I’ll just be in our room.”
“Okay,” he mumbles.
He kisses your forehead, and the feel of it is all you really need to assure you.
It’s not ideal. You wish you could sleep next to him, maybe talk about how the past week has been or apologize some more. You don’t want to focus on the fact that this would be the first time that you’d sleep separately. It happens, you tell yourself. You’d rather that he’s honest with you like this, something you couldn’t be to him and you owe him his own space and time.
You kiss his cheek and get off the bed. “I’ll leave the stew in the oven in case you get hungry. Good night, Kook,” you say, and head out the door.
You settle for fruits for dinner, barely having an appetite as well. You take a long, hot bath and think of all you’ve done, where you went wrong, and what you can do after all this. You meant what you said that you’re going to be better. You always knew you were lacking in many things; you’ve been told that communication isn’t your strongest suit. But you can’t let the doubts creep in because you know Jungkook, and you know you. The last thing you’ll ever doubt is how much you love each other.
Maybe love is like this, you think to yourself. It hurts because it matters, and people fight because there’s something to fight for but it’s the kind of fight where nobody loses. You and Jungkook are different people and maybe that’s why it works the way it does, but it also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t constantly work hard to meet each other in the middle. He does, and you will, even harder than before. Being loved by Jungkook is a gift, and being able to love him is a privilege.
You think about this even more as you lay in bed. It’s colder without him next to you; it feels empty. But you can sleep well knowing he’s taking his own time just downstairs, hopefully missing you, too.
He asked you to trust him. You always thought that was easy and that it just meant being faithful, that he wouldn’t hurt you. You realize now it’s more than that; that despite the fights and the fears and the tears, it’s trusting that you’re both going to be okay.
You fill your mind with Jungkook’s smile, knowing that maybe in a few days, you’ll be blessed with that sight again. You don’t know how many scenes and memories you’ve gone through when you feel a dip on the mattress next to you and Jungkook’s arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close to him. He nuzzles your neck like he always would, and though he doesn’t say or do anything else, you know that this is his way of telling you that he trusts you, too. That he trusts both of you.
Maybe love is like this - it's when you hold each other the tightest after a fight; it’s when you pull the other close even if neither of you wants to say anything; it’s when you’re upset but not enough to spend a night apart. Maybe it’s when you can be honest about being mad but not doubting the other person’s devotion.
Jungkook’s warm breath against your skin eases your mind and your heart, and you know that whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll wake up with him next to you. It’s been a tough week and a hard night but you think that maybe, this is when you learn to love each other even more.
Missing our plm couple extra today. Wonder what they’re doing 🫶🏼
I’ve had this on my drafts for a while and decided to finish it with the image of long-haired and glasses JK in mind. It sort of sets up the stage for the The Fight as well. I hope you enjoy 🥰
Title: Please Love Me Bonus 06 - I tell you everything.
WC: 4,421
Tags/Warnings: suggestive
Series Masterlist
Five minutes. Jungkook’s phone pings.
No 10.
Or maybe 15 sorry hun I’m still packing up but also it’s the last day of class so everyone’s chatting it up oh you can come in if you want! Another ping.
Jungkook laughs at your run-on sentences and knows you’ll be cringing at them later. But he’s also imagining you looking a little stressed, trying to multitask between fixing your tools and saying your goodbyes to your classmates.
He turns off the engine and exits the car. It’s when he gets another message - Kook, can you come? I need help with my things 🥺 - that he jogs the block to the art studio and makes a left to the hallway where your class is.
He looks around, in awe of how the decor at the west wing quickly changes. In the half year that you’ve been enrolled in your drawing class, he’s visited you a few times and each time, the art pieces hanging on the wall have been different. He’d spied a few of yours, too, and he’d spent too much time just admiring your work and imagining what inspired you or what you were thinking, something he always asked you about later on.
But one other thing he likes to do when he picks you up is peek through the half-wall window and not-so-creepily watch you work on your piece - focused eyes surrounded by your soft features, with only a look of determination mixed with pure passion for the craft. You did say you’ve come to love drawing after all.
It’s through his visits that your classmates have come to know him, too - that first time, one asked if he was the nude art model and another yelled they wished he was. Jungkook didn’t miss your slightly embarrassed and flushed face when you finally claimed him as your husband. The room melted into a puddle, with oohs and ahhs reverberating through the walls when he greeted you with a forehead kiss and picked up your things as he often does.
Jungkook does all those again today. He sees one of your pieces and imagines what you were thinking of as you painted the sky green, then he turns to the room where the sound of applause catches his attention. But then his smile - the one he’s been sporting since this afternoon when he got to free up his evening so he could attend your event with you tonight - fades, his eyebrows furrowing and a pout forming on his face.
He’s familiarized himself with all your classmates and colleagues, and that half-naked man with firm pectorals and large biceps and chiseled jaw and sharp nose is definitely not one of them.
Back inside, you’re busy putting away all your pencils giggling at the light banter between your classmates. You’d asked Jungkook to help you with some of your things and you know he’s probably waiting outside.
Before your gaze wanders outside, you look around the room and meet deep-set, hazelnut eyes - intense and paralyzing as they bore into you. You’re quite surprised, and as you zip up your bag, you accidentally hit your easel. You shut your eyes as reflex, ready for it to make that sound as it hits the floor.
But it doesn’t.
“You nervous or something?”
The man’s voice is deep. It’s familiar, and as you look up, you know why it is.
He’s putting in place the easel that you almost knocked over. He’s got a smirk on, and you wonder if your flushed form has anything to do with it. You didn’t really expect that the man whose backside you were drawing just minutes ago would be speaking to you. The models for your nude drawing class don’t exactly interact with the artists - it’s kind of weird to do that when strangers have basically seen every part of you.
But he’s here in front of you with a twinkle in his eyes that have now softened, and you’re only able to shake your head. Sure, he's handsome, but he’s also still half-naked - you’re not exactly sure how to process that outside of your drawing bubble.
“You’re rushing, then?” He asks.
“Uh, sort of?” You chuckle, relaxing a little as you try to focus on just his face.
“That’s a shame. I heard that Mrs. Yang’s treating your class to dinner and she invited me. I was really hoping I’d see you there,” he replies.
“Oh? I’ve got an event tonight. Is there something you wanted to tell me?”
“Sort of,” he chuckles now. “I’ve modeled for some of her other classes and no one draws me quite like you do. They seem so real and so intimate. Mrs. Yang said I could personally ask you if I could bring home your drawings of me. I like how you’re able to capture the—”
He’s cut off by the sound of a throat clearing and Jungkook turning you towards him with a deep kiss on your lips, his hand gripping your waist tightly as he lingers on your skin.
“Hey, babe,” he says.
“Kook,” you blink up at him, surprised again by the desperation in his actions. “Hi,” you recover, smiling at his presence despite the scowl on his face.
“You ready to go?” He sounds in a hurry, uninterested.
“Yeah, I was just talking to Samuel. He was asking for my drawings of him.”
“Is he now?” Jungkook arches an eyebrow and crosses his arms. He looks up and down the man in question who still has a smirk on his face.
“I am,” Samuel replies, assessing your husband from head to toe just the same. “___ draws me so beautifully. Her pieces make the hours-long process of posing nude all worth it. She’s got an amazing eye, among other things.”
If you didn’t really care much for him earlier, now, you don’t care much for him at all. You want to tell him off for how shameless he’s being, but the selfish and silly part of you wants to know how your husband would react and well, follow up that sudden kiss he gave you to get your attention.
“She does,” Jungkook replies. “She’s obviously talented but she’s also had some practice. I mean, I’m her muse when it comes to this… nude drawing thing and yeah, I know all about posing for so long being worth it.”
Jungkook gives you a naughty smile and you know exactly what he’s thinking about. “It’s quite the gift when you’re married to an artist, you know?”
“Ah, you’re married, I see,” Samuel hums, glancing at your left hand that’s now sporting the ring that you remove every time you draw or paint. “That’s good. For both of you. Not for me but yeah, I shouldn’t be surprised,” he turns to you, chuckling now, realizing at how stupid he seemed. “But can I still keep the artwork, if that’s okay and not weird for your husband?”
“Her work, her choice,” Jungkook responds.
“Sure, if it’s as nice as you say it,” you shrug, not minding much. It’s always a compliment when your model reacts that way to your final output. “You can just ask Mrs. Yang for them.”
“It is, I truly mean it,” Samuel smiles more genuinely this time. “And yes, I’ll choose the best one, although that might be difficult. They’re all great.”
“Thank you, Samuel,” you grin, not interested to keep this on. “I’ll get going now. It was a pleasure.”
“It was. I hope to see you around,” he smirks again, and you don’t miss the scowl that graces your husband’s face once more.
You wave goodbye to your classmates and tell them you’ll catch up with them another time. It’s when you exit the building that you turn to Jungkook, his frowned expression turning into a pout.
“What was that, Mr. Jeon?” You giggle.
“What?” He’s defensive, even as he takes your hand and leads you down the street.
“Don’t think I didn’t know what you were doing with that kiss and head-to-toe look and hidden meanings in your words, hmm? Are you threatened?”
You’re teasing, a rarity for you because Jungkook does get quite jealous and you’ve never wanted to push him, but something about him in his work attire, rolled up sleeves with tattoos exposed and all that makes you want to just try. He looks tough like this, especially with his hair that he’s growing out, but the glasses he’s been wearing more frequently just makes him adorable. It’s a kind of sexy that you’ve been enjoying lately.
“Just never seen him before,” he shrugs. “And he was obviously flirting with you. Like, ‘you’ve got a great eye among other things’? What the fuck does that mean?!”
“Yeah, I thought he was just being friendly until that,” you laugh. “He’s modeled just 3 times including today. He’s apparently an artist, too, so he knows a lot about forms and stuff. So that’s kind of nice, being complimented like that.”
“Hmm, probably. You also couldn’t stop looking at him.”
“Hey!” You nudge Jungkook. “It’s only because his body is so overwhelming, you know?”
“And what about mine?” He frowns.
“Perfect - just the way I like it,” you turn towards him, stopping him in his tracks so he could look at you and see the love in your eyes. “You, my dear husband, are the most handsome and sexiest being in this world, with or without clothes, and I absolutely adore every inch of you, every ridge and every dip and every beauty mark and every scar.”
You cup his cheeks and feel them rise to his eyes as he can’t help but smile at your words.
“No need to worry, okay?” You assure. “Classes are over and I’m satisfied with my nude drawing abilities already, especially with the muse I’ve got.” You wink, liking how he blushes. He takes your hand and lovingly kisses it before kissing your forehead.
“Hmm, might want to draw me again soon so that this is the only nude body you’ll remember,” he winks.
“Oh trust me, this is the only nude body I remember,” you respond, resting your palms on his chest.
He takes the opportunity to pull you closer, his warm breath tingling your skin. “Good. I’ll keep reminding you though, maybe tonight? Or right when we get home?” He hums in satisfaction and kisses your lips.
You giggle in his hold. “Kook, we’re in public,” you remind him, as an old woman chuckles as she passes by you both.
“I don’t care,” he huffs.
“I do,” you answer, though your words don’t have a bite in them.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he arches a brow.
“Do I need to?” You tease, tracing his defined pecs underneath his silk polo as you bite your lip.
“Fuck, let’s go.”
You arrive at the grand estate of Mr. Lee that’s right at the edge of the city. It took a while to get here, as you and Jungkook took too much time feeling each other up before you actually got dressed, but it was something you didn’t mind. He gets riled up when he gets jealous, and you’d shyly told him it was quite a turn on. You would’ve passed up on this event if it wasn’t so important to you, and he understood. He promised to continue what you’d both started after, though, and that really got you smiling.
The mansion is buzzing. Clanking sounds of champagne flutes, soft munching of canapés, and laughter and conversations fill the grand room and the hallways nearby. There are many familiar people - and not because you know them from the art world, you know them because of your family and Jungkook’s. Those present in the viewing of Mr. Lee’s private art collection are big names in the business and entertainment industry, after all. But they’re here by personal invitation and their appreciation of art, including you.
It’s a twice a year event, and you’re lucky that one of Mr. Lee’s granddaughters is currently your student in the weekly art class for children that you’ve been teaching for the past few months. Her mother befriended you and was kind enough to invite you tonight, and you couldn’t be happier, especially when Jungkook messaged you earlier that he was able to free up his evening to accompany you here. You’ve been busy with various projects on top of the classes you take and conduct, and you wanted to spend time with your husband, even if half the time you’d be gushing about the pieces anyway, something he said he wouldn’t mind at all.
You find your way to look at a contemporary piece, telling Jungkook about the artist, when someone calls your name. You turn to the side and see a familiar face.
“Chi-won,” you smile. “It’s good to see you here.”
You return the hug that the man gives you and introduce your husband.
“You, too, although I figured you’d be here,” he grins. “You’re why I got invited in the first place. I heard you recommended the tattoo shop to Mr. Lee’s daughter. She came a few weeks ago and found out I collect art, too, and she invited me tonight. So thank you.”
“Ah, that’s wonderful,” you chirp. “She said her friends aren’t into the arts so she gives the invitations to even acquaintances whom she thinks would appreciate it. I’m glad you get to witness this, too. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
Jungkook zones out a little once you and your friend start talking about the artists whose works are displayed in the estate. Somehow, art talk is only interesting to him when it’s you who’s talking, so he lets his mind wander a bit until he hears the words that sort of knock him out.
“Loving the tattoo, by the way. It looks really great now that it’s healed,” the man says.
Saying it’s great means he’s looking at it, and looking at it means he’s got his eyes on the dark ink painted on the valley between your breasts. Much as Jungkook adores the low-cut neckline of your wine-colored satin dress, that obviously also means that other people get a peek at it, too. The tattoo is beautiful - it’s his birth flower, after all, and he feels blessed everyday that you got it because of him, and that he gets to marvel at it every single day. He just doesn’t like the thought of others having that opportunity, too.
“Thank you,” you gush. “You’ve got amazing people at the shop, and that’s because of you. I really love it, and so does my husband. Right, Kook?”
You turn to him and Jungkook manages a curt nod and an almost-whisper of “of course.” Is… is he the man who put this on you?
You and Chi-won say your goodbyes as he heads to the other wing, and you turn to Jungkook with his curious look mixed with a tinge of nervousness.
“He’s a tattoo artist at the shop where I got the flower done,” you say, realizing what your statement could imply once Jungkook’s eyes widen.
“Oh! He didn’t tattoo me, Kook. He just owns the shop,” you explain, not wanting your husband to worry that another man got to see your bare chest. Jungkook’s face relaxes and you hear his sigh of relief. “I told you I’d get a woman to do it even if you didn’t ask for it. I don’t exactly want to expose my body to another man, you know?”
“Just me, huh?” Jungkook shyly smiles now.
“Of course, honey. No one else.” You kiss his nose and like how his eyes close and how his features soften at the act.
You both continue the tour around the mansion. There’s an entire area dedicated to all the pieces - paintings, sculptures, mixed media art - and you gush at each one. Somehow Jungkook feels like it’s just you and him in your own little bubble. Even with the people you greet every once in a while, you choose to experience the collection with just him, even if you know he doesn’t understand half of the things you’re explaining - he’s said he likes just hearing the tone of your voice and the way your eyes crinkle when you talk about the things that make you happy.
Unfortunately, he has to burst that, as he takes an important work call and excuses himself. It takes 15 minutes but when he returns, there you are with yet another man gushing over you, it seems like, as the tall man with incredibly strong features and perfect hair shows you photos from his phone and laughs along with you.
Jungkook stands there, not wanting to burst the bubble you have with another person who gets you, in that sense - someone who gets your art, your world, your passion, and who gets to respond to you with more than just “ah, that’s cool,” the way he does. So he lets you have your moment, your space. He’ll step in in a while, he tells himself.
“Why is it that every time I see you in one of these things, you’ve always got that look on your face as you watch your wife socialize with another man from afar?”
Jungkook knows the voice before he even turns to the side and finds Kim Namjoon, your brother’s close friend and a staple in these events as an art collector himself. He’s become familiar to Jungkook, too, finding him during the times when he’s stuck on his spot as he chooses to observe you from afar. Because the man’s right - this happens more frequently than Jungkook likes to admit.
“It comes with marrying a talented and beautiful woman, I guess,” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m used to it.”
“Well, it’s her world and she stands out,” Namjoon responds.
“She stands out anywhere, actually, with anyone,” Jungkook responds, letting the thought settle in before he continues. “The man’s this big shot executive and a single dad. His 5-year old is in her art class and the kid adores her so I don’t blame the guy for admiring my wife. She’s great with kids.”
“Is it really admiration, though? Looks like he’s just showing off his son to her,” Namjoon observes, as the man holds up his phone to show you various photos to both of your delight. You’re laughing along with the man, smiling as he shows more.
“Yeah? I mean, look at the way he looks at her,” Jungkook responds.
He should be used to it by now. You have a comforting charm about you, and if he wasn’t a stuck up teenager, he would’ve realized that very early on. But no; he’d shut you out and only got to see just how good it is to be around you once he’d married you.
Your students in art class are a testament to that - it’s no wonder you were asked to add another schedule because the kids enjoy your sessions that much. Their parents are a testament to that as well. Even strangers are. But it hits differently, as he sees how the man softly watches you laugh and coo at his own son. There’s a certain glow on your face when it comes to children - Jungkook won’t blame anyone for finding that beautiful.
“Hmm, it’s nothing compared to the way she looks at you, though,” Namjoon says. “You’d be laughing or something, or socializing when you’re in your world, and she’d be looking at you with the brightest stars in her eyes.”
Jungkook looks at the older man with questioning eyes.
“I’ve been to some of your family’s galas, Jungkook. She hangs with me sometimes when you’re off to do your duties, and it always made me smile how adoringly she looked at you, whether up close or from afar.”
“That’s, uh… that’s nice to know,” Jungkook hums, feeling his heartbeat quicken.
“And it shouldn’t be news to you anymore. She may be catching a lot of people’s attention but at the end of day, all she wants is you.”
And right on cue, you look around and find him, your soft eyes asking if he’s okay. Jungkook nods - to you and to Namjoon’s suggestion of going over to you.
“Hey, hun,” you take his hand as he gets closer. “This is Woobin, Sunoo’s dad. He was just showing me photos of them painting the new playroom.” You turn to the other man. “This is Jungkook, my husband.”
“Hi,” Jungkook shakes Woobin’s hand. “So you’re the father of the famous Sunoo. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Ah, so she’s talked about him,” Woobin chuckles. “And yes, I am. My son adores your wife, as many of the kids and their parents surely do.”
“___ talks about the kids at her class all the time,” Jungkook smiles, realizing it now. “They just make her so happy.”
Despite your busy schedule full of your own classes and the ones you run, on top of your actual job at the art firm and being an artist yourself, you’re devoid of any stress once you start talking about your students. You know what they like to paint or draw, know how to help them improve, and have so many ideas to make them appreciate art even more. It’s no wonder they love you as much as they do.
“Ah, that’s no surprise. I’m just glad my son got to enroll in her class. I heard it’s tough to get into it now since she’s in demand,” Woobin states. “But it was nice to meet you, Jungkook, and nice to see you again, ___. Sunoo will be happy to know I saw you tonight.”
You and Jungkook bid him goodbye and you turn to your husband, smiling sweetly at him.
“I’ve seen everything tonight,” you inform him. “Another round of desserts and then we can go?”
“Sure, but I’m suddenly craving for churros and ice cream,” he responds.
“Hmm, let’s go to McDonald’s, then.”
“Alright, but uh, are you cold? Do you want to put this on?”
Jungkook removes his coat and offers it to you, and though you know the breeze outside is manageable, you take it, somehow wanting him much closer tonight. You also know that perhaps it’s your low neckline that he’s a bit wary of.
“Sure, Kook. Thank you.”
You lean on Jungkook’s shoulder and hum in satisfaction over the strawberry-flavored sundae. “Hmm, this is almost just as good as the desserts at the event.”
“Babe, McDonald’s is always just as good or better than anything,” Jungkook says with a half-full mouth. “It’s truly amazing.”
“It is. Somehow it cleanses our palette of rich-people stuff, doesn’t it?” You laugh and he joins you. It’s something that sparked your bond in the beginning, after all, and that hasn’t changed.
“Yeah, but it’s also just my happy food, you know? Grease, sweets, unhealthy stuff… delicious.”
“Happy food, huh? Did something upset you tonight? Or maybe someone?” You ask, wanting to know if him stepping away while you spoke with Woobin has something to do with it.
“Not really. Woobin didn’t cross a line,” Jungkook says, an admission that he knows what you’re talking about. “I mean, he was looking at you like a man with a crush, though, and I can’t blame him but he knew his boundaries. Good for him.”
“Of course he does, Kook. He knows I have a husband.”
“Yes, after you told him you couldn’t have coffee with him when he asked you out, which means that he was interested and he probably still is, like that nude model who was definitely into you.”
You turn to look at him who’s busy with his sundae but clearly bothered, but not enough to be angry. You’ve always been honest with him, the way he’d always been honest about the women at the Clubhouse who’d thrown themselves at him after one of his soccer games. You’ve always trusted each other, and you’re just glad that that’s always been enough to not have any miscommunication or arguments because of it.
“Ah, Samuel. Yeah, that was new.”
“Oh? He’s never hinted on a crush? Dude was looking at you like you were all he could see,” Jungkook shakes his head.
“Yeah, then you came in with a kiss and swept me off my feet,” you teasingly roll your eyes. “How romantic.”
“Sorry, it was just reflex,” he explains.
“I know, but you have nothing to worry about, okay? I tell you everything. Maybe not the mundane interactions or insignificant things that I easily forget but the important ones.”
“I know,” he says, smiling at you. “And you know I tell you everything, too.”
“You do,” you smile back. “But thank you for making it tonight. You’ve been so busy and I’m just glad I got to be with you.”
“Anything for you, babe. You’ve been so busy, too, and honestly, I didn’t mind moving the meeting with my father since I wasn’t really ready. Plus, all I had to say was that I was accompanying you to an art event and he let me go. You’re a spoiled daughter-in-law, you know that?”
You laugh at his teasing and the fact that your husband had the gall to ask his own father and boss to move a meeting for you.
“I am, actually. And now it benefits you, too!”
“It benefits both of us,” he corrects. “But tonight was good. I mean, I kinda had to ward off certain men but I didn’t mind. It was still a fun one.”
“It was,” you hum, basking in his boyish smile and the twinkle in his eyes. Something comes alive inside you when he looks at you this way, and amidst the midnight buzzing of a McDonald’s in the city, you move closer and kiss his lips, gentle but wanting, and you feel him smile even wider against you.
“Babe, we’re in public,” he teases, and much as he likes to do that, he also enjoys it when you get a little flustered even when you mouth that you ‘don’t care.’
You peck his cheek and pull him, and as you walk to the car with his coat over your shoulder, as you talk about the art collection all the way home, and as you share a bath and then lie bare underneath the covers with your tangled limbs, Jungkook only knows this - this is your world, and in the one you both share, you’re the only two people who matter.
