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@positivelypositive
What would be your favourite self-care pastimes? š¼
@yourstrulylightstar283 heyy
such a sweet ask! my favorite self care activities are mostly art or skincare related. i like pampering myself to a sheet mask or pedicure at home. what about you?
I need advice.
I feel neglected and manipulated by my husband and its just taking such a toll on me, I cry every day from the pressure of carrying on.
I don't want to hurt him by leaving but he will never change
hey anon,
i'm sorry you're going through this. in my opinion the best way to resolve personal misunderstandings is to talk it out.
talk to your husband or go for couples talk therapy. when everything has been spelled out, issues become rather simple.
i hope this helps you a little. please take care āØ
how do you start chasing your dreams and setting boundaries to loved ones? I wanna start doing it but I have no idea how to
hey anon,
you start by clarifying. this is my mantra for most things in life.
clarify to yourself what you really need. don't be vague. be as specific as can be.
for eg. about setting boundaries, you can write with whom you want to set boundaries and why. you can also detail how you wish to feel after setting that boundary and how it will help you feel better.
write it for yourself, to yourself. make it simple to understand and follow. i hope that helps you āØ
I hope you're doing well!! ^^ Sending you lots of love and warm hugs. š
thank you anon! you're so kind āŗļø
Hi. So irl I always felt different from everyone else in my family. People decide what they want to be around 18 or even before 25 at my family and I have no idea what to specialize in. I love a lot of different things, like photography on my phone, graphic design, music, language, cooking, baking etc. I use to video edit and I want to learn photography and yoga. I want a lot of things and I felt so afraid bc I dont wanna settle for this 1 fucking thing I HAVE YET TO KNOW. And I found a youtube video about ikigai and it helped me a bit but also confused me like why cant I be like everyone else that just wants to be a boring ass clerk or businessman at 20s or know what they want for the rest of their life? Why do I feel so invalidated?
hey anon,
we're the same person, i swear. i get you totally and completely. that is why i feel i am qualified to tell you this:
you feel invalidated because you're looking for validation outside of yourself. you're trying to find approval from where it doesn't matter.
unless you come across someone very similar to you, you'll be prone to thinking "am i too different for my own good?"
i think the first step has to be acceptance. people like you and i need to accept that we're not like other people. we're not a part of the majority.
and that's okay. it's actually great if you think about it. whatever you do will be a new path, a new way. this new way will be the light for someone else struggling with similar things.
don't question your uniqueness. lean into it. you got this āØ
Is this blog still active? I wanna rant something.
i'm here today anon! sorry if this response has come too late but i hope you can rant now āØ
š¹
just a reminder...
...that your best today doesn't define your calibre in life.
maybe you did very well. maybe you didn't. either way, one day cannot define your capabilities.
you're amazing everyday because you do your best everyday, no matter what that 'best' looks like. you're the best āØ
š»
here to remind you...
...that your struggles have always had to give up against you.
you might think that you had to lose against certain situations in life, but guess who is here today?
it's you! maybe not the version of yourself that you imagined but a version of you that has fought, gotten hurt, and yet prevailed to reach here, today.
be proud. you've been amazing. and keep going, no matter what āØ
i dated 2 people in my life, both of them cheated on me.
how do i stop feeling like something about me makes me deeply unlovable?
and how do i prevent myself from entering another relationship where i get cheated on again? (i donāt wanna go through this a third time)
(thank you so much for the work you do with this blog :333 youāre amazing)
hey anon,
this question made me do a double take because it seemed like you were writing about me. i've been in two relationships and got cheated on (in different ways) both the times. so i know where you're coming from.
recently, i've realised that i don't really feel unlovable. what i feel is a lack of trust. and not on other people. i found that i find it tough to trust my judgement of other people and whether they are good for me.
it's a sad problem to have because you don't know whether the people you pick to be in your life are going to add to your life positively or not. every new relationship is a risk.
however, what i think is that those two experiences made sure that i know what i want from life. i am not ready to settle for red flags anymore.
i know better. i will never know for sure because it's a whole other person we're trying to understand. but i know better than i did those 2 relationships ago. and that's going to help me and protect me.
it's okay if you want to take some time to heal and understand yourself better. but you're far from unlovable. sending you love and positive vibes āØ
I love here, the positive posts and your answers š
Can you give an advice for someone that is lost in the carrear ?
hey anon,
so happy to hear you like it ā¤ļø and i'm sorry you're feeling lost.
what i can suggest you to do is do some serious introspection.
make a few honest lists about things you want in your life, things that you don't want in your life, things that have the ability to make you feel positive no matter what, your life goals, priorities, principles, non negotiables.
the idea is to understand yourself better.
you already know where you are i.e. point a. what you need to find out is where you want to go/where you want to be a few years later which is point b.
once you know that, you can brainstorm or research about career options or paths in your current career that will take you to point b.
i hope this helps because i use this method whenever i feel a brain fog setting in for myself. sending you courage and positive vibes āØ
Hihihi ! First of all wanna say I love ur page sm ty for posting ur personal motivational messages!! They are always so comforting. <333
I just wanted to rant about my major, since Iām in college and thatās like my whole life right now haha.. I keep struggling with getting bad grades (not failing, but not amazing enough to go to a good graduate school in the future). Even though itās very common since Iām a STEM major in a fairly tough school/major, it doesnāt stop me from feeling like a failure and that Iāll never get better.. I know that I need to just keep taking steps to improve myself and my grades, but itās so especially hard when my friends in the class are really complacent, settling for the bad grades and not trying to be creative with ways to improve themselves. They choose to be lazy instead and deal with the consequences by dropping a class or a minor that isnāt easy (relatively). I have one other friend in my major who is as motivated as me to do really well, but she isnāt doing the same minor that Iām aiming to do ā so we donāt have those classes in common to relate with and help/motivate each other on. So if Iām struggling in the classes for my minor, I know my friends wonāt be much help because theyāre probably struggling more than me ! Or if they arenāt, they just arenāt as helpful in explaining things because they donāt have an intuitive grasp on it if that makes sense, and would rather just give me their answers.
Anyways, itās just an overall frustrating experience, but I saw that u were accepting rants hahaha and I kinda needed to get this off my chest. What would u do in my situation? Try to maybe make some new friends? Itās hard because I try to avoid people with big egos (bc theyāre annoying š but sometimes they end up being the smartest/most motivatedā¦) but I could also try going out of my comfort zone to meet new ppl, but I also have social anxiety so itās scary hahahha
Much love š
hey anon,
thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you took up my offer to rant and shared freely. lastly, i'm sorry if i'm getting back to you late. i have been away from my account for a little while and only saw this today.
now, on to what you shared- i want to begin by telling you how proud i am of you. you want to do better even when those surrounding you are complacent. that takes serious motivation. you're awesome!
as for not having someone to motivate you to do even better- i'm in a field where none of my friends or family had any experience so i was a loner for most of my career. eventually, i found people to share with but i understand where you're coming from.
i think youtube used to and still helps me the most. try to look up efficient study methods for your specific subjects or course type. now, it can get overwhelming because youtubers have their on-camera, pretty lives in extreme order.
what you want to do is start small. maybe pick one idea that you see common amongst a few videos and try implementing that. see if it works and then keep adding slowly.
remember to not overdo it. perfection is overrated and for a sincere person as yourself, it can quickly turn demotivating.
take care of yourself anon. you sound like a very pleasant person. feel free to drop by for another rant, anytime. sending you warmth and positive vibes āØ
I'm a highly sensitive person. I have some college but no degree. I have insurance but am scared of doctors. I have free therapy though my job but no specialists to see if I have ADHD or autism. I work customer service and have been doing that for over 20 years. When I serve people all day long I don't have much left for myself. I have pmdd and had a bad episode this month that gave me so much rage and now I'm ashamed and crying and feeling overwhelmed. They are going to change the operating systems that are job so none of us will know what we are doing.
I work customer service at a library and there's a machine with a conveyor belt that runs all day that helps to check in people's books. By the end of the day most of the full-time people are extremely disgruntled just due to the ongoing sound. We aren't allowed to wear headphones because we have to answer the phones and talk to the customers.
My boss put two more jobs for me to do while I'm not on a public desk. We get 2 hours off desk and honestly those are helpful to recharge after working with the public but my boss thinks those two off desk hours should be used to do desk work and busy work.
I'm extremely overwhelmed and afraid to advocate for myself for fear I'll look defiant. Ill be there 12 years in April. I feel like I haven't been able to have a personal life since going full time. š
I took two days off from work last week and didn't work the weekend I was hoping I'd be ready to go back today. So I got dressed and drove to work and thought I hit a bird and then had a complete meltdown and then look like s*** and realized I had to be on front desk to let all the customers in. So they saw my face which made me more upset and so I told my boss I couldn't do it today and I went home. I tried to go to the park but I couldn't get out of the car and I looked a mess because I had been crying a lot.
I texted my boss and apologized and told her I was overwhelmed and told her I was sorry for leaving in a hurry. She told me to just take care of myself.
I don't want to take care of myself, I'm already worn out from taking care of everybody else.
I'm sorry this is the most rambling message ever. I don't know what to do.
hey @luckycatsgirl (couldn't tag you for some reason)
i'm sorry you're going through this but please do not apologize for ranting. i want this to be a safe space for people to ramble. you helped me feel needed so thank you for that.
what you've described sounds to me like a panic attack. now, i could be wrong since i'm not a professional but i have experience with panic attacks and would very much encourage you to look into a psychologist or a trained therapist to help you out.
we all know life is tough but we bear it to the point where any and everything becomes overwhelming. it's normal and you're not alone in feeling this way. but getting help will make sure that you live more comfortably.
i know you don't want to take care of yourself because you're worn out but being worn out itself means that you need to be cared for. a therapist or psychologist can help you understand how to do that.
please look into it, dear friend. i will be cheering for you from the other side of the screen. sending you courage and positive vibes šāØ
I used to study languages but over time I forgot how to speak them. Any advice on how I should practice them myself when everyone around me only speak English? Tysm <333
hey anon,
what an interesting question. thank you for sharing.
if i were you, i would look into the "advanced" or "medium" level hardness on apps like duolingo to get back to the languages.
it's best if you can find people who speak the languages so maybe look online? just be careful because the internet can be a scary place sometimes.
as someone who is fascinated by languages but is too occupied to actually learn more, i hope you can do this!
sending you love and positive vibes šāØ
Hey I've been told I'm terrible at committing to people, habits, hobbies. I want to change that. I'm stressed that I used to be able to do a lot of hobbies like music, writing, learning different skills on art but over time, I stopped. I'm in need of advice on how to get back on my groove and keep up habit to ignore everyone pressuring me not to do art or music or writing etc. I wanna do me and live my own life. How do I do that without coming to being like some insensitive person to others?
anon added this later:
Hi this is the anon earlier. I feel pressured by my parents on what I wanna do for living but at the same time I have no idea what I wanna do now. I love my parents and family but sometimes felt like I don't understand what they want from me but neither do they. I am not sure about what I want to do next, but I want to try and change to be a better person. At the same time, I'm stressed with societal pressure myself. I also feel like I couldn't succeed like everyone else and just felt like my life is a dead end where I'm gonna be forced to live with my parents for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love them but sometimes it feels so overwhelming to be around them and their expectations yknow? And I want to try living out my life one step at a time but I'm not sure where to start and how to say 'I want to live independently from them and see where it takes me' because I don't know how to say that and I don't really think it's possible. I just felt like if I live with them, I might just live the life they dictated instead of living the life I wanted and I don't really know if it's the correct thing to say here. Thank you for having this space.
hey anon,
thank you for feeling like you could share with me. and i'm sorry that you're going through this.
if i'm honest, i am actually in quite a similar situation right now. even though i got to choose what i do for a living, i have started to find that my life has been consumed by work so much that it's all there is to my life.
i have friends and hobbies and down time but all of that feels forced. i struggle with finding the will to actually put effort into the things i used to enjoy like reading, drawing, and painting.
i'm sorry for sharing my own troubles in response to yours but what i want to say is that you're not alone. there are more like us who are struggling but i think being aware of what the problem is is a big step towards solving it so we're on the correct track.
as for a solution, i have been thinking about this a lot lately and it's usually a matter of comparison and assumption that scares me. comparing my life to others and feeling left behind. and assuming that i will remain "left behind". when in reality, i have no proof or logic to back either claim.
left behind means nothing as a human. there's one life. if you're sincere and you persevere then you're doing okay. and assuming things that you don't know about is preemptive and often unnecessary pressure we put ourselves through. and for what?
i know how this is easier said than done but i know you and i can do it. let's introspect and see where we are and where we want to go. let's build an action plan to get there. i'm taking a therapist's help along the way and maybe you can too.
as for family, i love mine to bits and also live with them. you can love someone and still not like everything they do or say. look into creating boundaries. that helped me.
hope this helps and i'm sorry for my own rant in response. sending you hugs and positive vibes šāØ
š
'keep going'...
...does not mean that you cannot rest.
it means that even in the face of difficulties, giving up is not the answer. rest if you must, and then pick yourself up and keep going.
you have the strength in you. keep going āØ
can you tell a friendship is ending?
hey anon,
i believe that unless there's an event that makes either or both friends lose trust in each other, a friendship never really ends.
yes, it may slow down. yes, you may talk less. but you're still friends. different from how you'd usually be but friends nonetheless.
you can be friends with someone and not talk to them all the time or agree with everything they say and do. that's okay.
what's not okay is feeling like a friendship is draining you or making you feel bad about yourself or making you question your trust.
i've had several friendships 'slow down' over the years. i know they're not my 'be with you in a heartbeat' kind of friends anymore but they wish me well and we share a few laughs every now and then. that's enough.
i hope i was able to help you. sending you warmth and positive vibes āØ
šŖ·
here to remind you...
...that it's still progress if it's not linear.
falling back down is normal. you're making your way out of a tough situation. setbacks are to be expected.
don't let them bring you down. keep going. keep it moving āØ