don't fall asleep yet.

32. Wingo. Owner of dogs. This blog is mostly me coping with actual adulthood

[alwayspapadouchego]

I was influenced on tiktok 😭😭😭😭

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should I get a sternum tattoo

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getting back, one insignificant act at a time (I got a haircut)

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hello from the worst mental health in this life So Far 🙃 Posting shit just to try and feel some kinda way 🙃

we out here maybe in love, catastrophically

it’s fine. it’ll be fine. it’s gotta be fine.

[alwayspapadouchego]

you ever start working at your friend’s job in a training group of your friend’s other friends and then randomly and suddenly they fire the two other people in your training group and leave just you and now you don’t know if you should be looking for another job or how awkward it’s going to be for the rest of forever because your friends got fired and why would they just choose you

[alwayspapadouchego]

we out here still

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your oxygen levels are very low so your granddaughter is right to be worried but since you have covid it’s expected you’re not going to be able to breathe and could die in this house you’re isolating in alone with another person with covid but you’re not dying Right Now so it’s fine if you don’t want to go to the hospital, you can wait until your fingers are blue and you’re dizzy, short of breath, and not coherent 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

i am. just so fucking tired.

[alwayspapadouchego]

my grandma is now in the hospital with covid pneumonia 😑 just the most stubborn woman I’ve ever encountered. and just so frustrated with the paramedics I called yesterday to take her to the er who were basically like, yeah your oxygen levels are really low but you have covid so it’s possible maybe you have pneumonia but you could try getting an appt at an urgent care if you want 🤷‍♀️ and let her sign to not go to the hospital, which her doctor told me to take her to immediately.

[alwayspapadouchego]

Got this last night to annoy her into waking up.

It ended up killing her instead.

(using humor to just absolutely avoid my life)

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I’m meant to just go back to work after getting covid there twice, while my great grandmother barely breathes in a hospital, and fight dumb ass ignorant people who don’t want to wear masks and want to yell at minimum wage retail workers. Can’t fucking wait.

[alwayspapadouchego]

I don’t want to go back to work.

The instability of my life rn is sort of crushing.

And all I have is my job.

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Four days before Christmas, my great grandmother fell and broke her hip. She was taken to shock trauma with only one allowed visitor. She had surgery the next day and was transferred to a rehab facility a block away from my house on Christmas. We had cancelled any Christmas happenings until she was home but I did get to finally go see her that evening.

Between that time and now, she’s been moved a couple times due to health issues and I was exposed to and subsequently tested positive for covid so I haven’t been able to see her. She’s always come to be right down the street at the rehab center and I can’t even see her. Then she tested positive. My grandma, who has been with her every day nearly 24/7 since my pop died in April 2020, hasn’t been able to see her.

And now she’s sedated and ventilated at a hospital. And I probably won’t be able to ever see her again. And no one gives a shit that covid is still ongoing. That families are suffering.

My pop died in April 2020. I spent months staying away from the family to not get the most loved and vulnerable sick. And he died. And we’ve spent birthdays and holidays apart. “When we can, we’ll have a party…” “we’ll celebrate later…” I’ve barely seen my family in these last two years. Her son suddenly died in October. They buried him next to his father who we still haven’t had a proper service for. Who we couldn’t even go to the gravesite for.

And now a final Christmas has been stolen from me.

[mamatriedtoraisemebetter-deacti]

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Hello from Second Covid

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everyone is getting covid and the world is an absolute shit show

[okiitos]

When my uncle finally divorced his abusive wife and became a bachelor again he was like 55 and already used to wearing dad attire. Anyway so that year at the big family camping trip my aunts were trying so hard to hook him up with their friends but he kept wearing this sweater with a kitten in s hammock that said “beach bum” on it. And every time they saw it they’d say “Wear a nicer sweatshirt Stan!” And he would just earnestly reply “This IS a very nice sweater!”

Anyway my aunts were full of shit that sweater kicked ass

[okiitos]

Found the picture that was on the sweater

[alwayspapadouchego]

I had this sweater