Honesty and Insecurity

The boy with the little he has to give. I dont want more... I want you.

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Your out there somewhere. But always in my memory.

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

If not for youself do it for me.

I never thoughts for a second that when i went travelling that id never see you again and now that a possibility i want to die myself. To be the one with the knife. You just Handed it to me on a silver platter. You might as well cut my heart out and watch me drain blue.

The man I fell in love with is still there. I know it. And im not the only one who does. I cant be, for you are the diamond that would make the ones brave enough to search for more precious than any other. I tried to show you all this. In all that we had and in all that we did. And out of all that was soo amazing something so devastating, damaging and irreversible. I just couldnt cope. You would take that dream and promise away from me. For it is you i will see again. My best friend.

In the time we had all i wanted was to show you your worth. So that you would know such love exists. That love for all that you are. Know that its real and that it can find you at any moment. And make you part of my life forever In every good way possible. Companionship was my goal with you. And yet i found a soul mate. For you are someone i live to see again. That was alwayse a promise.

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

The one who saved me.

You showed me love to which was unmatched by any other. I fought so hard for you. To be with you. I could see where I wanted my coastl future to be and just how to achieve it. But alas an immature boy I did not foresee a desire to live abroad. I cant bare to see you this way. DISMAY. I tried soo hard to make you happy when we met that I did not realise the destruction it would bring you when I left. I just wanted to see a man like you smile. So deserving for the time I could for just a short while. I cant stand to see you this way. Please reach out to me. I cannot help when you dont talk to me.

[be-happy-and-enjoy-the-life]

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Puppies for christmas

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Dream state

Im drowning.

I cant quite tell you were I am, its dark i can only see my extremities as rather slowly sink, further and further.

It feels like a movie, where I am in place of one very unfortuante character damned to his miserable fate. But i have no script, I dont know what happens next, I even feel as though I have no idea how i got here struck with amnesia.

As i struggle to find clarity to the events unfolding, it hits me, im here because of my own actions and choices.

Do i know where im going with this? Not a clue.... I lapse in and out of several frames of mind. As if my own world is smashed into thousands of seperate opinions and desires. Am I being brave, Selfish, bold, careless or even hurtful. The things i had answers too i do longer. I know at least one part of me feels this is right. But he is hated by so many others aspects of my being. Im so confused it hurts. The moment i think i have a grip... i slip. Theres no one left to pick me up and dust me off. I guess that alwayse been the case.

Somewhat.

But that did change.

And yet its "change" that brought me here.

What a mess.

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

The man I love and tore apart.

I dont know where it all began.....

The idea to chase false proficies when the secret to life, love, was staring me in the face. I know this is something i must do for my future self, but i have torn my own heart in half in doing so.

I left behind what made me whole and im struggeling cope with a heart beating at half pace, a mind that is only half committed to this new future, for half of me aches to be in his embrace this very moment and every one proceeding.

I cannot justify my own action to keep these emotions from running like a tyrant that is reeking havoc across my entirety through and through, because the is no man more undeserving of such mistreatment than you.

Fuck my youth. I still and forever will love you.

[fostro]

Roundhouse > Tornado Kick > Spinning Hook Kick combination request from @kickgrrl

[sexymotorslifestyle]

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Goals!!!!!!!

[danger]

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

If you thought what you were doing was "OK" then what was there to hide?

[aronikswim]

☀️It’s getting hot in here… Aronikswim.com #templeSquare Collection

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Goals

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

To the hubby no man could want more! Happy Birthday my love! I look forward to all that the future we share shall bring us. You are a dimond amoungst the rough! And my heart is yours ❤👬💋💍

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Hearts entwined

Distance makes the head grow fonder. A term I heard but never gave much thought. The further i am away from my love, the man that I now see makes every day more enjoyable, a memory and thought to accompany me where ever I go and each breath a nessecity for he gives me a reason to live above all reasons, I realise his importance. Physically the challange is hard, in a land of different men. Some atteactive and some divine, but my man at home has this body and heart of mine. All it takes is a glance at my phone, and there he is! As my phone wakes, he awaits. Gorgeous and sublime, no one on eath is near as fine. Without this distance I fear I would be accustom to all his generosities, his jaw dropping looks and his heart so pure and faithful! The man I have alwayse dreamed would sweep me off my feet take my hand in marrige and live happily ever after is already in my life. Time will be a testimant but it will be no challange, for he is nothing but a dream! And my reality. 🐻

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Tough

This time without my man, You must understand, Is something I did not plan. The length and distance makes things tough, Leaving my mind and emotions to beat me up. Why so long? I hadnt the money or the guts, But to pressure i cave and here I am, a tourist slave. Although it’s what I dream. This trip was not what I would have planned. Not what I could have forseen. I will be home soon 🐻.

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

Heres the the day i knew id alwayse be comming back to my man!. No distance to great. For a love like ours

[alwaysscrumptiouspolice]

He Is Beauty, He Is Grace, apon first glace, I fell in love with that face.