affliction

words left unspoken, feelings that were never told

[alypasion]

Dear Aly,

I know things are tough and rough for you this past few days. You’re a strong woman but I know, sometimes you’re weak and you need someone beside you for you to lean on. You’ve been through a lot but you’re still here, fighting. 

Aly, always remember that sometimes, it’s okay not to be okay. Stop keeping the pain inside you. People who loves you will understand what you’re going through for sure. You’ve been hurt many times, but always remember to keep carrying it on. Keep your head up, and always smile. The pain you’re feeling right now will soon end. 

I believe that the right person for you will come soon. You just have to wait and be patient waiting. Don’t rush things. There are bigger opportunities ahead you, don’t let yourself be stucked on the things that you don’t really deserve. You’re a precious one, and a person like you, must be treasured just like how you treasure the people you love. 

Aly, you’re a good person, but sometimes, stop being too good and stop letting people hurt you. Know your worth, and always remember who you are. Keep fighting, keep moving forward, and love yourself the way how you want to be loved by other people. I love you, so much. 

Love, 

Aly. 

[alypasion]

Wu

[thoughtkick]

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

— Haruki Murakami

[worshipgifs]

[alypasion]

“The Missing Puzzle Piece”

First of all, I don’t know why I’m writing this right now. I just felt like it. I couldn’t explain how I’m feeling but all I know is that I am not sure if I am the puzzle that lacks pieces or the missing puzzle piece itself. Almost twenty-two years of existence in this world thought me a lot. I met different people. Encountered different challenges and heartaches. Cried and laugh a lot over something. But after those, there would still be something missing. I am not sure if I am the one who’s missing or it’s just that someone couldn’t find me.

Honestly, this world is full of doubts, even I, and I don’t know how I could make those doubts drift away. Or is it just me making myself doubt everything? I am always wondering where those doubts came from. But I myself don’t even know the answer. I’m so tired of making my past traumas the reason why I am doubting everything. Why am I scared to be hurt or why I am scared to be left alone? I know this is not the real me. I am way far from who I really am. But I’m trying, it’s just that, sometimes I get tired. I get tired of trying to fit myself into the lives of the people I love. It makes me wonder, if it makes me feel tired, am I really the missing puzzle piece in their lives? Or I am the puzzle that needs to be completed?

They said change is the only constant thing in this world. Scary, isn’t it? What if one day, the people I love will also change. What if one day everything that I am used to is not the same anymore? But honestly, I am getting tired of being scared. What comes along, comes along. I know this is a little messy, but these are my thoughts. I was just trying to let them all out before overthinking kills me and my mind again. I am so thankful for the people whom I have right now. And I hope one day, I would also complete their lives just like how they completed mine.

“Ako ang bumuo, pero iba ang nakinabang” that’s what he said, but I want him to know that I may not be perfect, I may be flawed, I may be incomplete, there’s no need for him to worry because I am so sure that even though I had battle scars from the past, I am more than ready to complete his life just like how he did with mine. He is my missing puzzle piece and I hope I am his. There’s no turning back, this is my last straw, if I get hurt again, I am sure it’s worth it and it’s worth every tear I may shed because I am happy. Genuinely, happy.

[worshipgifs]

[blooms-and-shrooms]

[worshipgifs]

[worshipgifs]

[paintingbutch]

Final piece,

depicted intrusive thoughts

[socwhore]

What's your biggest turn on?

Reassurance…I like knowing I’m wanted

[alypasion]

2020 self...

You’ve been through a lot. You felt tired, suffocated, hurt and left behind but you’re still here fighting. You made a lot of mistakes, bad and wrong decisions but you did your best to make it right and through. You changed a lot, you learned not to care about the people who hurt you anymore and I’m proud of that. You survived another year again, and I know you can still do it for the next year. You learned to stop harming yourself just to ease the pain, I’m proud of you, you never tried to harm yourself this year, yay! Don’t let the voices in your mind eat you again, I know you can do it, fight for your sanity darling. 

Aly, please do keep in mind that even you’re on your way to a new year of your life again, you don’t need to pressure yourself to improve. You have your own pace, take your time, own your world. And lastly, always remember to love yourself just like how you love other people around you. Keep yourself sane, don’t let yourself go back to the darkness that made you lose yourself. 

[minijournals]

you can do everything right and still feel sad at night

[benafflecks]

[alypasion]

Things to know about Aly:

Name: Alyka Jermeih Velasco Pasion

Birthday: September 5, 1999

Age: 20 years old

Height: 5′1

Nationality: Filipino

MORE ABOUT ALY: 

So before I write this part of my blog, I asked my friends to ask things they want to know more about me. So here it is,

What is the principle of your life? 

My principle is, “Keep going no matter how hard it is.” I always believe with this principle because we all know that sometimes life may be tough and hard and giving up is not my option. If it’s worth it, it is worth the fight. 

What is your favorite diet meal? 

Honestly, I don’t have any diet meal but if you’re asking me what’s my favorite healthy food instead that helps me with my workout plan and helps me in keeping myself healthy while I gain weight it would be Vegetable Salad (lettuce, tomatoes and cucumber) with caesar dressing or dried sesame seed dressing from kewpie. 

How do you love? 

This is some quite hard question for me because I have different ways in showing love, but all I can say is that, when I’m inlove, I love hard. Selfless. 

What’s your standards when it comes to boys?

Other people say especially my friends that I have high standards when it comes to boys and I agree to it. Honestly I’m a woman with a strong personalty, and what I want in a man is that he can stand with that strong personality of mine. As a woman, I know what I deserve and I’m not going to settle for less. I made my way through where I am right now alone and I guess that would be enough to say that I deserve the best that I can have.  

Number of exes?

I have 3 exes. 

Who’s your go-to person?

Rica Clarise and Aliah Jamei (will post some pictures of us here soon) 

So that’s it, I’m not really good at writing for now because I stopped writing for more than 4 years. Bare with me. XOXO.  

[worshipgifs]

[alypasion]