I post a variety of different things on this blog, mainly related to shows I enjoy. When I watch something new, you can usually expect posts sharing my live reactions. I intend to start posing Fan Fiction and I also often reblog gifs that I enjoy!
current spoiler warnings;
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (akotsk spoilers), Fallout (fallout spoilers), Memory of A Killer (memory of a killer spoilers), The Pitt (the pitt spoilers), Sons of Anarchy (sons of anarchy spoilers)
please be sure to block the tag within the () above if you do not want spoilers for a specific show - I blog my reactions as I watch new episodes.
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I have a very sour history with my arch nemesis, nose spray. However tonight was a rare moment where I was desperate enough to use some and the relief I felt was genuinely unparalleled. My nose was so clear that I think I could have stolen a sniffer dog’s job.
… my nose is once again getting congested though so nose spray might have won the battle but it continues to lose the war ☺️
Long story short, my ADHD meds were apparently giving me a negative side effect that I thought was positive. I told my psychiatrist about it and he sent a notice to my pharmacy not to give me them anymore. The current focus is my depression meds so I have been without ADHD meds.
I’ve lost any concept of time but it feels like it’s been years. I can’t focus anymore on anything. I watch everything in 2x speed. I spend all day watching reels because I couldn’t focus on anything longer than 20 seconds. I can’t even focus on eating at this point.
I deadass feel like this meme 24/7:
I don’t know how I was unmedicated for 20 years. I feel like I just was so used to me being like this that I never noticed?? But now I’m driving myself insane.
Also think my meds will change again next appointment because I’m having weird side effects to the new one (physical) so… please pray for me. I might be on this train for a while.
Hounded ↦ Bellamy Blake
12. We Are Grounders - Part I
Synopsis: After being locked away for eight months, Athena Kane alongside 99 other criminals is sent to the ground to find out if it's survivable. The ground was the dream, but who knew it would turn out to be a nightmare?
Show: The 100
Pairings: Bellamy Blake x OC
Warnings: major series spoilers (full series will be covered), use of profanity, descriptions of violence, death, blood and gore, and mentions of drugs and alcohol.
Tags: OPEN (rest on May 28, 2026 so please request again if previously on the list)
Masterlist
Leaving Clarke, Finn and Monty out there was the last thing I wanted to do. The others had given me no choice in the matter. Deep down, I knew it was the right call. I understood why we had to go back to camp, but it still didn’t sit right with me. We’d lost enough people in the last few days and the thought of losing them too was almost too much to bear.
I was keeping myself distracted by helping Raven and Jasper set up landmines around the outside of our walls. As much as I felt like it was pointless, I knew I needed to keep a brave face for everyone else. Just because I’d lost hope didn’t mean I wanted the others to. As soon as the sun comes up, I planned to head back out there.
“Better hope those landmines work.” Bellamy spoke from behind you. “All the gunpowder we’re wasting, we could be making more grenades.”
Raven rolled her eyes. “You want to come over here and test one?”
Somehow, I managed to let out a small chuckle, earring a stern glare from Bellamy.
“Cute.” Bellamy responded. “I need this entire section mined by morning. Then you should finish the south field.”
“Wait,” Raven spoke, standing up. “I told you we’re going after Finn, Clarke and Monty in the morning.”
“And I told you, nobody leaves this camp.”
“We can’t just abandon our people.” Raven spoke, her voice hushed. “You want to lead them, show them you give a damn.”
Bellamy opened his mouth to respond but was stopped by the sound of a single gunshot. I nearly jumped out of my skin, looking around in a panic. One of the boys stood up from where he was sitting against a tree, holding his gun with shaking hands.
“Hey,” Bellamy snarled, walking towards the boy. “What the hell is the matter with you?”
“I-I’m sorry, man. I fell asleep. I’ve been on watch all day.”
Bellamy grabbed the boy by the collar of his jacket, pinning him against the tree. “We’ve all been on watch all day! That bullet was one less dead grounder.”
Octavia joined us. “Bell, you’re scaring people.”
“They should be scared!” He responded. “The bomb on the bridge bought us some time, but that time is up. The grounders are out there right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one. Clarke, Finn and Monty are gone, probably dead,” His words cut like a blade pressed to your skin. “And if you want to be next, I can’t stop you, but no guns are leaving this camp! This camp is the only thing keeping us alive right now.”
My eyes began to swell with tears and the silence across the crowd now formed around Bellamy was deafening. He took a deep breath, his eyes locking with mine. For a second, I thought I saw a flash of regret fall across his face. If it had, it quickly vanished as he waved his hand, telling us all to get back to work before he walked away.
I turned to Raven, who looked just as heartbroken as I felt. Her eyes were fixated on Bellamy’s back, red with tears she was fighting to keep from falling. Anger filled my body as I marched after Bellamy, following him right to his tent.
By the time I entered, he was already sitting on his cot with his head in his hands. I wasn’t sure if he was ignoring me or if he hadn’t heard me enter. My resolve softened as I stared at him. I could tell in that moment that he felt just as defeated as I did.
“Bellamy-”
“Please, don’t.” He whispered, his head still in his hands. “I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it right now.”
I shook my head, folding my arms across my chest. “You don’t get to lash out like that and then run away. What the hell was that? How are you so willing to give up on them after everything we’ve all been through together?”
“I’m not giving up on them, I’m just trying to keep the rest of you safe.” His voice hitched as his eyes finally met my own. “The less people we have here, keeping this place and everyone in it safe, the worse off we’ll be. We can’t help Clarke, Finn and Monty if we’re all dead.”
I knew he was right. “Listen, I understand that. I really do. It’s just your delivery that leaves much to be desired sometimes.”
Bellamy scoffed. “So I’ve been told.”
I couldn’t help but frown. This whole situation was hard on everyone. I knew that Bellamy wasn’t trying to hurt us and that he wasn’t just casting Clarke, Finn and Monty aside. Knowing that didn’t make what he said right, but I couldn’t bring myself to be truly angry about it.
“If you want everyone to stand beside you during this fight, you have to make sure they know that they aren’t expendable to you.” I spoke, stepping closer to him. “I know you don’t want us out there again, risking our lives and leaving camp vulnerable. I know you care about all of us. You’ve proven that several times over. I’m just asking that you stop putting up this wall and acting like you don’t.”
Bellamy was silent for a moment. I couldn’t tell if he was contemplating what I’d said or fighting not to explode on me. The silence was louder than any scream I’d ever heard, though my heart pounding in my chest was somehow coming close.
Then he turned around, slowly, nodding as he did. His eyes lingered on the ground before finally meeting my gaze. “You are a pain in my ass, you know that?” He cracked a small smile for the first time today.
“I’ll take that as you saying I’m right.” I responded, earning a small chuckle.
He quickly became serious again. “Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
Bellamy’s eyes shifted back to the ground. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”
His words left me speechless for a moment as I swallowed hard. “Of course you could-”
“I mean it, Athena.” He looked me in the eyes. “When I came down here, all I cared about was keeping Octavia safe. I risked everything to be here for her. Nothing else mattered, or at least, I told myself that. I tried so hard not to care but you changed everything. You gave me a second chance and you gave me a reason to fight for myself. You even made me care about a bunch of idiots. Every step of the way, I feel like I’ve messed up somehow; especially with Charlotte. If you weren’t here, I don’t think I could’ve gotten this far.”
As he spoke, I hadn’t noticed my eyes beginning to swell with tears. I quickly swiped them away, but I knew he saw them. “Bellamy, you absolutely could have. You are stronger than you think and you have a big heart.”
He stepped closer, brushing away a single tear that had escaped my previous swiping. “You showed me it was okay to care. I don’t always show it in the right way, you’re right. That’s why I need you. You keep me together. You make me stronger. I mean it, Athena… I’d be lost without you.”
As I looked into his eyes, a wave of emotions washed over me. I felt a warmth I hadn’t in almost a year. I’d known Bellamy for a short time, but at this moment, it felt like I’d known him all my life. I knew I wouldn’t be alive without him; he’d saved me that day when the acid fog almost caught me. He drove me crazy but somehow, he gave me a sense of comfort I’d never felt before.
He moved closer, placing his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes, taking in his scent. Everything inside of me wanted to just lean forward and kiss him. I’d been trying so hard to deny how I felt, but it was becoming nearly impossible.
“Bellamy, we might die soon.” I whispered.
“We might die soon.” He nodded.
I took a deep breath, stepping back. “If we do die, I need us to be honest with each other. I don’t care what you say, as long as it’s honest, okay?”
“Athena, where is this coming from?” Bellamy asked, raising an eyebrow.
“About last night-”
“Me and Raven?” He asked, earning a nod. “Look, that was nothing. It meant nothing, to either of us. It was stupid and it shouldn’t have happened. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to walk in on us.”
“You mean that?” I asked.
“I mean everything I’ve said to you inside this tent tonight.”
I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. “Just tonight?”
Bellamy let out a small laugh. “Are you really making a joke right now?”
“Are you surprised? I always joke at inappropriate times.” I responded. “It’s part of my charm.”
“I’m being serious, Athena.” Bellamy spoke, grabbing my hands. “I need you with me tonight, okay? Whatever happens. I can’t lose you.”
I could feel my face soften at his words. “I’ll stick with you, I promise. I don’t want you to worry about me though. I need you to focus on keeping yourself safe. Then, if we survive this, I think we need to continue this conversation without death hanging over our heads.”
Bellamy nodded, smiling. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“We should get back out there and help them. Make sure everything is ready to go and everyone is ready to be where they’re needed.”
Bellamy agreed, leading the way out of the tent.
…
Before the chaos of last night, there had been some light discussion about the placement of gunners around camp. I was now working alongside Bellamy to ensure everyone had their assignments and there were no mix-ups. We were nearly certain everyone had been accounted for. Meanwhile, Raven was keeping track of where the mines were going with the help of Jasper. Monty had been working with her on the strategic placement before he’d gone missing, and she was confident she could remember each spot he’d laid out.
I was finishing up with organizing our provisions equally among the groups we were sending out when Bellamy approached me again.
“How’s it coming along?”
“Well,” I started. “If the grounders don’t kill us, starvation will.”
“Lucky us.” Bellamy responded.
“Seriously, we are going to need to figure out a plan to find food immediately after this is over. We have enough to keep us going through the fight, barley, but after that we are completely tapped out.”
Bellamy let out a sigh. “One problem at a time, okay?”
I took a deep breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s good to think ahead, but we also need to stay focused.” Bellamy placed his hands on my shoulders.
Suddenly, Murphy’s voice came through the radio attached to Bellamy’s pants.
“You know what’ll happen to me if you tell Bellamy.”
Bellamy immediately grabbed the radio, speaking into it. “Tell Bellamy what?”
There was silence on the other end, which only made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The silence loomed for a moment before full chaos broke out.
“Murphy has a gun. He killed Myles.” Jasper’s voice was hurried before the sound of him being hit and then silence again.
Bellamy gave me a glance before springing into motion. “Murphy, what the hell are you doing?”
As we were approaching the dropship door, the creaking noise of it shutting caught our attention.
“God damn it!” I yelled, rushing towards it with Bellamy following close behind.
He began calling Murphy’s name as everyone surrounded us, no longer focused on prepping camp for the grounders.
“Open the door right now!” Bellamy demanded, pounding his fists against the metal.
“If you try to be a hero,” Murphy yelled back. “Jasper dies.”
…
It wasn’t too long before the sun filled the sky once more, with Bellamy and I still planted firmly in front of the dropship. We’d sent almost everyone back to work at this point, knowing we couldn’t entirely stop preparing for what was to come.
“What’s taking her so long?” I whispered under my breath.
“Relax,” Bellamy responded. “She’s got this.”
“The sooner the better.” I could feel the frustration seeping from my lips. “If anything happens to Jasper, I swear to God-”
The sound of hurried footsteps behind us caught my attention, with Octavia quickly joining us.
“I just heard Murphy has Jasper.” She spoke through gasping breaths.
Bellamy nodded. “South foxhole done?”
“Excuse me?” Octavia asked. “Bellamy, my friend’s in there with a killer.”
“O, look around.” Bellamy whispered. “No one’s actually working. If the grounders attack us right now, we’re all dead.”
Octavia rolled her eyes, pushing past him. “Murphy! If you even touch Japser, I swear, you’re dead.”
“Octavia, I got this.” Bellamy spoke, approaching her.
“Really?” She spun back around. “It doesn’t look like you’re doing anything about it.”
From the corner of my eye, I spotted Raven sneaking around the dropship to meet with us. “Guys, you were right. There’s a loose panel on the back. If I can pop it, we can get in through the floor.”
Bellamy nodded. “Good, go for it.”
Octavia pursed her lips before whispering in Bellamy’s ear. “Sorry.”
Bellamy nodded, raising the radio to his face. “Murphy, I know you can hear me. All of our ammo and food is in the middle level. You know that. You’re leaving us vulnerable to an attack and I can’t let that happen.”
“Yeah, well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly in control right now.” Murphy responded.
“Come on, Murphy.” Bellamy spoke. “You don’t want to hurt Jasper. You want to hurt me. So what do you say? How about you trade him for me?”
My eyes locked in on Bellamy, my face going pale.
“Bellamy, what the hell are you doing?” I asked.
Octavia shook her head. “This is not happening.”
“All you have to do is let him go and I’ll take his place.” Bellamy spoke.
Murphy was silent for a moment. “How?”
“Bellamy, if you do this, he’ll kill you.” Octavia whispered.
My head was spinning violently, my heart racing alongside it. Some part of me wanted to smash the radio and stop him. I knew how selfish that was, but the thought of anything happening to Bellamy was causing my stomach to turn in knots.
“If I don’t, he’ll kill Jasper.”
I knew he was right.
Without any further objections, Bellamy continued. “It’s simple. You open the door, I walk in, and he walks out.”
On Murphy’s end, there was an eerie silence. We waited for an answer, holding our breaths. Within a minute or two, the dropship door started slowly opening, causing everyone who had rejoined during all the commotion to raise their guns.
“Just you, Bellamy. Unarmed.” Murphy called out. “Ten seconds or I’ll put one in Jasper’s leg.” He then began to count down.
Octavia grabbed Bellamy’s arm. “Raven is going to find a way to get you out.”
“I can handle Murphy, just get everyone back to work.”
Before he could turn to head inside, I grabbed him, pulling him into a hug. “Please, don’t push him. Buy us some time.”
Bellamy hugged me back. “I’ll do my best.”
With that, Bellamy made his way inside the dropship. Without any hesitation, Murphy tossed Japser outside. He rolled down the ramp, Octavia rushing to his side as we all watched the door close once more.
…
Time felt like it was crawling every second Bellamy was alone with Murphy in the dropship. Soon after he’d gotten inside, two shots had gone off that Bellamy was able to communicate was a misfire. After I’d yelled at what I felt like was almost every individual delinquent, Octavia had finally sent me away to check in with Raven and Jasper who were exploring under the dropship.
Crawling inside, I noticed them both tinkering around. “What is taking you so long?”
They both hushed me, pointing up. “We’re working as fast as we can.” Raven assured me.
“Well work faster.” I spoke, feeling the tears beginning to come.
Then, there was another shot.
“We need to do this now.” Jasper whispered.
“The wires for the door are mixed in with the ignition system. Sparking the wrong one would be bad.” Raven responded.
Jasper and I remained silent, letting Raven focus. After a few moments, she turned around smiling. “I think I found it. Get outside and be ready when the door opens.”
“Thank you.” I whispered, crawling back outside with Jasper.
As we reached the front of the dropship, several more shots went off.
“What the hell was that?” I asked, freezing in place.
Before we had time to really react to that, the sound of the door opening caught our attention.
“Raven, you did it!” Jasper yelled.
I sprinted towards the door, not wanting to waste a single second. What if those gunshots had been Murphy killing Bellamy?
Several delinquents followed Jasper, Octavia and myself inside with guns raised. The second we pushed past the plastic covering the door, my face became pale. There Bellamy was, hanging from the metal rafters in the ceiling.
“Bellamy!” Octavia and I screamed in unison.
A few of us worked to get him down, with him immediately beginning to gasp for air. I untied the makeshift rope as Bellamy quickly began to sit up, screaming Murphy’s name.
“Bellamy, slow down.” I spoke, not wanting him to collapse.
He didn’t listen, rushing for the ladder and beginning to slam on the hatch leading to the upper level. He continued to scream for Murphy, threatening him. While the hatch was unlocked due to Raven cutting the power, Murphy had lodged something in the door and Bellamy was using every ounce of strength trying to break through.
Just before Bellamy could do it, an explosion shook the dropship. Several delinquents nearly fell over, with Bellamy almost losing grip of the ladder. Everything that had its place on a makeshift shelf or stool had fallen to the ground with a clash. Metal bits from the walls and upper level began to fall to the ground, leaving a few scrapes and bruises among us, including a gash on my left forearm.
“Somebody go check the walls, now!” I yelled.
As Bellamy burst through the hatch, a cloud of dust came pouring into the lower level. He remained silent, Jasper and I quickly following him up. The second my eyes reached the second level, all I felt was defeat.
I made my way over to the giant hole that had been blown through the wall of the dropship, knowing it was made with the last of the gunpowder we had for the fight.
“The guy knows how to make an exit.” Jasper spoke, the three of us watching Murphy run off into the woods. “Should we go after him?”
Murphy looked back at us for a second, smirking.
“No,” I spoke coldly. “The grounders will take care of him for us.”
Bellamy stared at me for a second. “She’s right. Instead we’re going after Clarke, Finn, and Monty.”
Jasper’s eyes lit up. “Seriously?”
“You and Raven were right. We don’t abandon our own. You said it and I should have listened but I am now.” Bellamy smiled at me. “Three guns. Just us. We can’t risk taking anyone else away from camp, especially Raven. I need her here building up our defences.”
“Not to mention Murphy just blew through the last of our gunpowder.” I mumbled.
Bellamy nodded, turning to leave.
“Bellamy, wait.” Jasper spoke up, getting his attention. “I just wanted to say…” He trailed off, his voice quiet before pulling Bellamy into a hug.
Bellamy’s face softened, giving in and hugging him back.
When Jasper pulled away, he smiled. “Long way from ‘whatever the hell you want’.”
The three of us shared a much needed chuckle, with Bellamy patting Jasper on the shoulder.
As we were about to leave, one of the delinquents called over the radio, saying that a grounder had been spotted outside our walls.
“It never ends, does it?” I mumbled as the three of us sprung into action.
By the time we made it outside, Miller was calling out from his position on the watch tower. “Everyone, calm down! It’s Clarke and Finn!”
The front gate opened and Clarke and Finn rushed inside, immediately asking about the explosion.
“Murphy happened.” Bellamy responded.
Jasper grabbed Clarke, hugging her tight. “Thank God you’re okay. Where have you been? Is Monty with you?”
“Wait, Monty’s gone?”
“Clarke, we need to leave, now. All of us do.” Finn spoke. “There’s an army of grounders unlike anything we’ve ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run.”
“Like hell we do.” Bellamy responded. “We knew this was coming.”
“Bell, we’re not prepared.” Octavia spoke up.
“And they’re not here yet. We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go?” Bellamy asked. “Where would we be safer than behind these walls?”
“There’s an ocean to the east. People there will help us.”
“You saw Lincoln?” Octavia perked up.
Finn nodded.
“You expect us to trust the word of a grounder?” Bellamy huffed. “This is our home now. We built it from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind these walls and in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away? They think that because we came from the sky, we don’t belong here but they’ve yet to realize one very important thing: we’re on the ground now, and that means that we are grounders!”
Every single delinquent was gathered around, listening intently to what Bellamy was saying. Cheers erupted, louder than any Unity Day you’d ever lived through.
“Grounders with guns, you mean!”
“Damn right!” Bellamy responded. “I say let ‘em come!”
Clarke glared at him. “Bellamy’s right. If we leave, we may never find a place as safe as this. God knows, in this world, we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow. That doesn’t change the simple fact that if we stay here, we will die tonight.” Her voice was unwavering, immediately taking control of the crowd. “So pack your things. Just take what you can carry, now.”
Without hesitation, everyone began to scatter. Bellamy looked at her with disappointment and honestly, I did too. Despite everything, abandoning this place felt wrong. We’d worked so hard to survive here and fortify it for tonight. All those plans we’d made now meant nothing, in exchange for heading out into the forest that they knew like the back of their hands. At least we knew our camp.
“Help me!”
I spun around, spotting Raven at the entrance of camp. She was leaning against the wall, struggling to keep herself up as she balanced on one leg while clutching her right hip with her free hand.
As we all rushed over, it clicked in our minds.
“Murphy shot her.” Jasper whispered.
“Get her into the dropship.” Clarke commanded.
Finn lifted her up, carrying her away with Jasper following.
Bellamy shook his head. “Clarke, leaving here is a mistake.” His voice was stern.
“The decision’s been made.”
“Well then we need to unmake it.” I spoke up. “This was already a shit idea and now with Raven injured? We can’t do this. We have to stand our ground.”
“Crowds make bad decisions. Just ask Murphy.” Bellamy mumbled the last part. “Leaders do what they think is right.”
Clarke swallowed hard. “I am.”
--------
A/N: Gosh, I am so happy to be posting this chapter! I know it's been way too long since I've posted (or written anything at all) and I apologize. Life has been less than ideal but I have more time right now. It's been amazing writing this chapter and I truly hope you all enjoy it. I have the urge to keep writing immediately so I am hoping the next chapter doesn't take too long to come out! Please remember to like/reblog/comment <3
Oh, I'm also on A03 under alyssaforevermore so please support me on there too!
Sarah and Julie are a duo I never expected to see again but they are so sweet!! Absolutely mad for them both that they are doing such a sweet thing for that asshole, however. How beautiful would it be if they both worked together to bring him down later?
Wait… there’s so much to unpack here. First of all, I’m terrified for Henry. Second of all, does this mean MIY was around during Boyd’s early days? Did MIY take a different form then and trick Abby too? Or, is MIY just trying to recreate what naturally and sadly happened with Abby? My mind is all over the place.
Edit: Not me also glossing over the BLOOD theme popping up again… I’m slowly starting to subscribe to the theory that Martin is MIY. Perhaps someone managed to capture him with those worms and he tricked Boyd (and Julie) into releasing him? I would not mind this being true at all if it makes sense.
