I'd suck at being a robber because while I'm trying to rob you blind in the middle of the night all you hear is the creaking of bones and when you check to see what is going on you see a trans boy sitting on your counter cutting and eating all your tomatoes. I ask you for a pocket watch and you have to chase me out with a broom. Little did you know your grand papy's
PMA011034 men's pocket watch has a proud new owner a cuck with rheumatoid arthritis.
5 years later I get the watch tattooed on me but every number is twelve
BIG MISTAKE after I high-speed chase similar to this:
The coppers catch me.
My court date is coming up so I sail to India
They catch me and I don't have the pocket watch anymore because that sucker is sunk to the bottom of the mid-Atlantic in a pirate style treasure trove.
You might ask "why did I go to India?" Well my slower minded friend while the police where on my ass about showing up to court I found out that the "victim" live in Mumbai so I travel and get illegal top surgery in Thana I go to the house and I enter find the tomatoes sit on the counter stretch so that the whole house can hear me. The owner recognizes my calling card the sound that haunts they're nightmares. I have .5 seconds to get ready so I take off my shirt and flaunt my tattoo whilst eating tomatoes.
Police storm in and the house is raided turns out it was all a trap and all I needed was to show my tattoo so they could confirm it was me. They saw me look up things on the local library computer because of a tip. I know I shouldn't have trusted that librarian.
I'm put in police custody for 30 days I don't tell them nothing but it doesn't matter they have all they need.
The jury decides unanimously that I'm guilty
MISTAKE #2: I go to a women's prison because I had no bottom surgery
My cell mate is a plump lady with a southern accent and a crazed look in her eye
All she utters is "Aren't you a cutie pie I could just eat you up." In a sinister tone
I am never seen or heard of again.
