To think that the Byler kiss might happen on CHRISTMAS of all days.
And wouldn't it be wild if they kissed in a CHURCH?
(Amazing TikTok by @carriganan - comment and share there!)
It would be particularly offensive to fundamentalist conservative Christians!
The press would be all over it, and there would be welcome debate worldwide about what it means to be Christian, if the world's #1 show stood up for LOVE and against religious fundamentalism on Christmas.
This is a part of my argument, The Byler Problem, and I thought I'd post it separately for now as I finish the video!
This is also the second part of my analysis of the trio's arc (Will, Mike, and El). I'd advise you to read Will's arc before this, but it's not necessary. I just mention some things here that belong to his arc. It's wayyy shorter than this btw—Mike is just... Mike.
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Before I start, I just wanna say this is MY opinion of Mike’s character arc. I know that depending on which side of the fandom you’re on, you’ll have your own interpretation on his character. Either he has internalized homophobia, or learns how to show El love, or is just weird like that. This is what I think his deal is. Also, due to how complicated Mike’s character arc is, I won’t be using the same layout I used for Will. It’s difficult to apply it here and you’ll see why later on, but I’ll refer to it whenever I can.
Things may seem confusing at first, but by the second-half I promise everything will make sense.
This first portion will just be me laying out some things in order to make my future points clear. It’s important to know the following before I really delve into Mike’s relationships with Will and El, and I know some of it is quite obvious, but it still needs to be said. You can skip to Chapter 1 if you want, but I'd rather you just skim this section.
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What Shapes Mike's Arc
Mike depends on this lie that he has to be needed in order to be “good”. This stems from the bullying he went through when he was younger, prompting self-esteem issues and insecurities to arise inside of him. Also, this is because of how love is depicted to him.
Karen, the parent he is closer to, depends on Ted. He brings her a stable income, he’s of use, but he doesn’t do anything else. As a result, Mike adopts this way of thinking. He’s nice to El and showers her with attention (too much attention as it ends up affecting his friends), and yet doesn’t see why he needs to tell her that he loves her. Ted doesn’t tell Karen that and they’re fine—they’re the standard family, they align with societal views and tradition. Why can’t he be the same with El? Why can’t he have that perfect relationship?
(Now this would be considered The Ghost: What happened to the character in the past that dictates how they view the world.)
Furthermore, Mike also has attachment issues stemming from the way he was parented. Attachment issues can be formed through neglect, and Ted is emotionally neglecting all of his children. Karen balances this out by supporting them and being emotionally available for them, but there was definitely some affect on Mike and Nancy due to their father’s absence.
In this scene, for instance. He couldn’t properly process such a huge loss, especially at a young age, and his attachment issues to Will caused him to do something irrational and dangerous.
This is later amplified by both his want to be needed and Will’s death. His closeness to Will specifically in the group shows that their relationship was special. The honesty that they treasured opposed the half-truths and ignorance in his home life.
“it was a seven.” V.S. Mike lying about being sick to Karen, Nancy lying about staying over at Barb's, and Karen almost cheating on Ted
Out of all of the boys, Will was his main source of comfort. Honest comfort.
But let’s look at this from another angle, why is their relationship different in the first place?
Because Will needs him.
Will screams for Mike in the UD, Mike comforts Will in the Crazy Together scene, Mike comforts Will after the nightmare by holding his hand and telling him that he’s a spy, Will screams for Mike in the hospital, Will only recognizes Mike after the possession, Mike’s voice breaks him out of the Mind-Flayer's total control, Will says it’s not possible to replace Mike in the end of season 3, Will paints for Mike, and most importantly—The Van Scene. “I need you Mike, and I always will.”
In other words, Mike needs Will because Will needs him. They fulfill one another.
Adding on to my previous point about Will worsening Mike’s attachment issues, his death was sudden and tragic. His death wasn’t quick, it was scary—brutal, even. Mike’s only source of comfort being snatched away from him in such a violent manner affected him greatly. Even after they found Will, the damage had already been done. Later on in season 2, he saw Will lose himself to the Mind-Flayer, which worsened his issues even further—specifically to Will. His source of comfort was taken away from him twice.
The same thing also happened to Eleven. He loved El because she needed him. She was his way of coping. She was the first girl to not be disgusted by him at a time of his life where bullying was constant and severe. When she left, he wanted to kill himself, not because he loved her that much (it’s been like 4 days…) but because that special, dopamine-surging feeling of being needed was snatched away from him in an instant. Again, in season 2, we see him repeatedly try to communicate with her on the walkman. This is an action that shows us how attached to her he was.
Due to what happened to these two characters, Mike sees relationships as something he has to hold onto as tight as he can so that they don't end.
For example, in season 3, Mike spends hours with El just making out, but why her? I’ll say it again, because she needed him. She was the only girl who wasn’t disgusted by him, she stood out to him. But if El needed him, and so did Will, why didn’t he act the same way towards Will?
Because he couldn’t—it was wrong, it was shameful. If we go down the "Byler Endgame" route, which we will because this is the only way this would make sense, Mike didn’t act so obsessive with Will because his feelings extended the boundaries of a friendship.
But here’s the thing—he can’t have a relationship like this with Will. The feeling it brings him goes against Hawkins’ traditional values, and so, it’s shameful. This leaves a hole in Mike’s heart, an empty space, because he’s rejecting fully embracing these feelings. Here’s a shorter and more concise way of saying this: He likes Will romantically.
Now that we’ve established these things, let’s explore the first chapter of Mike’s character arc.
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CHAPTER 1: Parents
People often look for qualities their parents have when searching for a romantic partner. Some good examples of this in the show is how Lucas sees his mother in Max through her strength and dominance and Billy sees his mother in Karen through her appearance.
Furthermore, Jonathan sees Lonnie in Nancy ↓
She uses Lonnie’s gun, she's sometimes ignorant to his problems, her language can be strong when she gets angry, and Jonathan pacifies her in the elevator fight. This isn’t to say that their relationship is bad, but it further proves the point that people often go after individuals that remind them of their parents/caretakers, even if it may be detrimental to their mental health.
Now, Mike sees Karen in Will.
Will and Karen share some similar qualities, although not all–just enough to get Mike attached. Out of all of the Party members, Will is the one who speaks to him in a gentle manner the most. He offers support and guidance, just like how Karen offers that to Mike and Nancy. He encourages Mike to do what he thinks is right, just like a mother would.
Again, this isn’t wrong. It’s natural for us as human beings to become attracted to things that are familiar to us. We find peace within familiarity, it’s not incestous at all.
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CHAPTER 2: Will's Presence
Now onto the more controversial take, Mike sees Will in El.
In season 1, El is compared to Will by Hopper who believes that she is him due to her appearance. Benny even thought that she was a boy. Appearance-wise, she was similar to Will because of her masculine haircut and the fact that she wore boys’ clothes.
Personality-wise, she was quiet, timid, and overall small. It’s only until she uses her powers that we see the differences between her and Will. Unlike him, she’s brave and protective, but she also lies.
The first time she lies to them by changing where the compass is pointing to, Mike gets defensive of her until she hurts Lucas. His protectiveness over her was strong at first because aside from Will, she was the only present person who needed him. Mike wanted to hold onto that—that idea that a person could need him. But after they found Will’s body in the quarry, Mike immediately began to yell at her and put the blame on her.
This completely different reaction was triggered because to Mike, El didn’t just lie about anyone, she lied about the person that he saw in her. Her lie about that specific individual felt like a personal attack. She did something that Will wouldn’t do, and for the first time, Mike saw that.
However, when she saved him from the quarry, things changed.
This person who needs him is showing him their loyalty and care for him, and Mike may be conflicted with how he feels about them due to their past actions, but at the end of the day, he still goes after that person because they showed him something that he can openly accept—unlike his relationship with someone of his gender.
(His relationship with El can be considered The Normalcy of Life stage if we’re using Will’s layout: How the character is handling the wrong belief.)
Basically, Mike feels needed by Will, but he doesn’t feel like he can act on that due to society’s standards of what a good man should be.
This is drilled into him by his father and what happens to the boys around him, specifically Will. He sees how Will is treated and realizes that if he gives into these feelings he’s been suppressing, he’ll get the same treatment or possibly worse, given the fact that Mike probably doesn’t think that Will is gay.
As I stated in the other post, I think the rain fight was him projecting onto Will. The harassment that Will is a victim of stems from the assumptions people make about his sexuality, so Mike joining these people and projecting his own feelings onto Will allows him to separate himself from that same assumption.
Although, it doesn’t go away. That thought still lingers in the back of his mind and we see it at the end of season 3.
It was something said in the heat of the moment when his relationship with El, a girl, was questioned.
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CHAPTER 3: Mike's Maturity
His entire behavior towards Will in season 3 is triggered by how much he sees himself in Will. Mike wants to be “mature” and have a relationship with a girl, but Will doesn’t.
Will’s idea of maturity is drastically different from Mike’s.
Mike thinks that having a stable “adult” relationship like his parents or any other "traditional" couple depicted in media is what makes a man mature.
(Superman & Lois Lane — Marty & Jennifer in Back to the Future)
Will on the other hand thinks that romantic relationships aren’t what measure one’s maturity, but how they communicate through problems and their ability to handle the past. And so, Will is comfortable bringing his past into the present through a D&D campaign, but Mike sees this action as a threat to his maturity—his journey into becoming an honorable, young man.
This frustrates him and causes him to project himself onto Will—the mirror of what he wants to be.
Mike wants to be expressive, he wants to be theatrical, he wants to be comfortable enough to bring his childhood into the present instead of just suppressing it and calling it stupid. But he can’t because in his mind, that’s not what a man should be, and El needing him is just supporting this unhealthy mindset.
Let’s delve deeper into Mileven’s story in season 3.
This is where Mike and El’s relationship transitions from provider x need-er to equals in their independence.
The thing is, Mike likes that El is isolated. His intentions aren’t malicious, he isn’t even the one forcing these rules on her, but it is a positive for him, even if he doesn’t realize it. El being removed from society means that he is who she depends on for fun, care, and entertainment. It’s Mike who brings her these things. He tells her about comics, things that he likes. That reminds me of something... something El's supposed to learn...
When they do go out, they’re attached at the hip. El isn’t used to this life and she has grown dependent on their relationship, it’s something she’s gotten used to. They are constantly in contact and constantly drifting away from the group—they’re in their own world.
But then, things shift and Mike begins to see the cracks in their relationship as El explores herself. I see a lot of Bylers say that Mike stopped being interested in El as a romantic partner because she loses her femininity—but that’s not the case. Mike stops being interested in El as a romantic partner when El stops looking and acting like Will.
(This would be considered The High and The Fall: The points in which the character finally succeeds, or is close to succeeding, only for everything to fail.)
In a shortened way, let’s look at what happened chronologically according to the show.
When El begins to really explore her character with Max, Mike breaks. He doesn’t understand this new-found independence. El is different now—this is the beginning of her not needing him. That scares Mike. He got attached to his idea of her, and now that she was breaking out of it, he doesn’t know how to react.
He literally uses Hopper’s argument of her not being allowed to leave the cabin against her. Mind you, this is someone that he doesn’t like at all. Someone that he shames and makes disrespectful jokes about.
El's response to this is to dump Mike and continue to explore herself with Max. Distraught, Mike falls into this ugly cycle of complaining to Lucas, being rude to Will, saying that he’ll get her back, and repeatedly burping out cheesy chips.
But why is he acting so lazily about losing El?
Because 1) This is when it dawns on him that she will not be needing him in the future and 2) She stopped looking and acting like Will.
In response to this revelation, he acts like his father—a parent who’s meant to guide him and be his role model.
Slowly, he moves away from this mindset that’s hurting him to placing the blame elsewhere: Max, the person encouraging El’s behavior.
Mike’s anger towards her is fueled by the strong emotions of losing El, the person who made him feel needed. Later on in the show, he tries to get her back and succeeds. He even says that he loves her and can’t lose her again. Although, we know that the only reason he “loves” her is because she needs him. His anxiety over El getting hurt because of how much she’s using her powers is out of genuine care for her, but not love.
He can’t lose this person because this person is healing him—they’re healing his insecurities and his self-esteem issues. He’s trying to work around this problem but ultimately fails.
Even though they’re together by the end of the season, the nature of their relationship has changed. Now, El is not dependent on him for building her character.
Buuuut them separating in season 4 allowed Mike to overlook that. He knows that right now, he isn’t needed by her, but he excuses that by the fact that he technically can’t help her from across the country—at least not as much as before.
(This is kind of a reach, but I still want to mention it because I don’t care. At the end of her letter, El says that she hopes that her spelling was better this time. This suggests that Mike, a writer, might’ve corrected her spelling. If this were to be true, it would mean that Mike still felt a bit needed by her as he is the one correcting her spelling. She’s attending school for the first time and needs help with her work, so Mike helping her would make him feel needed. Again, this is a bit of a reach I guess but I still think it’s important to understanding Mike’s character and how he perceives their relationship. He still feels a bit needed by her, even if she doesn’t really need him for spelling checks, which makes their reunion stump him even more.)
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CHAPTER 4: The Mileven Problem
Season 4 is a jumble of confusing choices for Mileven if they are endgame. Why is their relationship resolved in such a shabby way?
Let me explain a bit further.
Mike is unable to say I Love You to El, who is clearly upset because of this. Even when she brings it up, he brushes the issue off and says that she knows what he feels about her. After separating, Mike confides in Will, who the audience knows likes Mike. Will proves to Mike that El does in fact need him by confessing how much he needs Mike and using El’s name as a replacement. Mike believes these feelings to be true, no matter the owner. He reunites with El, supports her in her fight against Vecna, and encourages her as she almost dies. Why does he do it? Because he believed those supposed feelings that she has for him.
The true owner of those feelings pushes him to tell her that he loves her, and so he does, and her reaction is… strange. She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t look shocked or grateful—she’s sad. You can say that it’s because Max is literally dying right next to her, but a few moments after this El is literally smiling and laughing at Mike’s monologue. It’s when he says I Love You that her face drops. After this is all done, we don’t get any scenes between El and Mike which you would expect if they were the main couple and just resolved a huge issue in their relationship. Instead, she’s distanced herself from him (and Will…) and the writers place emphasis on that.
So, how is this a satisfying resolution to their conflict in this season?
If Mileven were truly endgame, that would mean that Mike’s love for El in his monologue was powered by Will’s love for him. Which, again, creates a conflict with the message of the show.
Now let’s look at it from a perspective in which Byler is endgame.
Firstly, Mike is not dumb. I’d argue that he’s the second smartest person in the Party, right after Dustin, if we’re measuring intelligence by looking at their observation and problem-solving skills.
Throughout the show, we see Mike pick up on things that other characters don’t. He’s the one who sees El as something that could help them find Will, he’s the one who figures out Will is a spy, he’s the one who suggested they burn the tunnels, he’s the one who suggested they move the car with golf clubs—these are just some examples.
Would it be a stretch to say that he knew Will’s painting was for someone special?
In season 5, El won’t be asking “What painting?” because Mike won’t ask her about it—In actuality, Mike’s going to be asking Will “Why would you lie?”, and it’s not because he doesn’t know that Will likes him. He already knows that, sort of.
In the beginning of season 4, El tells Mike about the painting and how it’s probably for someone Will likes since he’s been acting so secretive and weird about it. So, Mike knows that Will is working on a painting and or has recently finished one that’s meant for someone he likes.
Also, I don’t think that El’s assumption that it’s for someone Will likes romantically is something Mike doubts until the painting is given to him. Let me explain a bit further.
We know that in Cali, everything is built off of lies. Every single character’s new life lacks honesty to one’s character or to the people around them. Let's go through the list again: El’s great social life at school, Will’s romantic feelings for a girl, Jonathan’s weed addiction being something good, and Joyce’s love for her new job.
Mike joins them in this fake life. He arrives wearing something completely different to his usual style, just like El who’s wearing Will’s hand-me-downs instead of the style of clothing she seemed to like while exploring with Max. I think the fact that out of the group, they’re the ones who are wearing clothing different to themselves highlights and emphasizes their dishonesty to one another.
Upon greeting Will, if you can call that a greeting, he asks about the painting. Will says that it’s something he’s been working on—Let’s look back at El’s letter: “Will is painting a lot but he won’t show me what he’s working on.”.
If Mike is observant enough to figure out all of those things in the last 3 seasons, then he definitely picked up on that. The painting that Will brought to the airport (for some reason) is the one El mentioned in her letter the day before.
(I also want to mention the fact that the up-beat music fades out as soon as Will appears—the only person who’s acting honest in the trio’s relationship right now. It’s kind of like Will is breaking into their plastic utopia.)
From here on out, Mike’s focus is not on El, but Will.
Let me say it again: Mike is an observant person. If he was focusing on El, then he’d catch onto her strange behavior: her face dropping, her distancing them from Will, her timidness around Angela, and her discomfort at the idea of skating with her.
Instead, Mike doesn’t catch onto anything. Why? Because he’s too busy focusing on Will—the person who he has unresolved tension with.
Just like a lot of people in this fandom, I think that Mike started realizing his feelings for Will at the end of season 3, right after he and El shared that awkward kiss. In his mind, he compared his interaction with Will a moment before to the one with El. From a viewer’s perspective, watching it felt more performative, more shy, than his scene with Will.
(Also the soundtrack playing in Mileven’s scene is similar to the one playing during their reunion—the plastic utopia. I feel like if you remove the music in their scene it will show how awkward the entire thing is, which is normal in new romantic relationships, but knowing what we know, it’s just weird. Mike's facial expression after they both turn around says it all.)
So, watching season 4 with the knowledge that Mike is starting to realize his feelings for Will makes a lot of things make more sense. Why would he act awkward with Will at the airport? Why would he focus so much on Will during Rink-O-Mania, to the point where he couldn’t catch on to the fact that El was in trouble?
The fact that he put the blame on Will for El being harassed and not on himself is like he’s saying “It’s your fault that I was too focused on you to notice El”.
He’s avoiding blaming himself because if he does then it will confirm the fact that he was prioritizing Will over El. Then, he would have to answer the question:
Why am I so focused on Will?
He even takes it out on El during dinner, again acting like his father—the person who’s meant to be his role model. Every time Mike is forced to confront his feelings and the truth about his identity, he resorts to acting like his father.
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CHAPTER 5: Avoiding Responsibility
Here’s the thing, while I said that I think Mike started realizing his feelings at the end of season 3, I don’t think he fully processed it right off the bat.
In my opinion, the thing that made him understand his feelings more was seeing the painting and realizing that it isn’t for him. His focus on Will was fueled by jealousy—he’s trying to figure him out while acting “casual” about it. He notices Will’s annoyance growing throughout the day, and assumes that it’s because of how he and El were acting (which it was).
I think that he saw Will’s reaction as a threat to his relationship again, which led him to projecting his feelings and shifting the blame to Will AGAIN.
Will is the mirror of what he can be, and he’s what makes him question his relationship with El.
The following day, his focus moves from Will to El, which, in his mind, is how it should be. He wants to fix that bond he has with her—the person who affirms him. Now, she doesn’t need him. What she gives Mike instead is affirmation that he is a good man who fits into society’s strict standards. If he loses her, he will be left with nothing but his confusing feelings for Will. He won’t be society’s man.
Desperate, he goes to El’s room and tries to sort things out. Notice how he doesn’t apologize because he doesn’t think he should—he is still placing the blame on Will, the person who “distracted” him. Currently, he is still stuck in this mindset in which he has done nothing wrong.
He begins by saying that he doesn’t understand.
He doesn’t understand El’s actions that were prompted by the harassment she was experiencing because even now, he doesn’t see how much she was affected. He doesn’t understand why El seems to be angry at him now and why she’s acting cold towards him—he isn’t to blame, right?
Because if he were to blame, that would mean that there’s something going on with him and Will, and there isn’t anything going on between them because Mike isn’t like that.
Then, he tries to sympathize with her by saying that he isn’t Mr. Popularity back home. This is the first time he openly acknowledges that he is, in fact, different from others to El. This vulnerability is prompted by her—the person who is meant to affirm him—shutting him off. He’s trying to reel her back in by sympathizing with her, and in doing so, he acknowledges something about himself that will later help him realize his identity.
Then, El shuts down his attempt at giving her sympathy.
This is because 1) Mike’s comment tells her that he doesn’t understand her position—it alienated her from him, making her feel like a monster, not just a victim of bullying, and 2) El doesn’t want to be dependent on him anymore.
This sympathy is a branch towards understanding one another, but a part of El fears that she’ll regress into her old self, even if she’s already sort of there. I’ll talk more about this when we reach her segment, but it’s good to know this in order to understand the break of their relationship.
Now, looking at it from Mike’s perspective, this is El breaking away from him—not needing him. He already knew that and was trying to ignore the problem, instead focusing on making their relationship fit in, hence the fake utopia they had going on in the beginning of the season.
If they fit in, Mike’s clear of any possible queerness, right? But now, El was making it clear that she doesn’t need him, even when she’s in need of help and comfort. He can’t ignore it now.
We can even interpret the escalation of their fight as El saying Mike’s thoughts aloud. When she said that he doesn’t understand, Mike, who thinks he does, would immediately compare their problems to find the differences—the thing that’s breaking them apart, the thing that doesn’t allow him to understand her.
If we’re looking at it from this perspective, Mike is responding to his own thoughts that El is voicing. Mike doesn’t want to be different, he doesn’t want those assumptions about Will to be applied to him too. He belongs, he’s built this utopia with El and it was holding up well, proving that he belongs to Hawkins—to society as a whole.
Obviously, El is talking about herself, but Mike is comparing their situations in his head, and whatever she says, he’ll apply back to himself. This is what triggers his defensive nature as the fight progresses.
He tries to provide some comfort, saying that the people who look at her like she’s a monster just don’t know her, implying that she shouldn’t listen to them, but El suddenly puts the light on him—on his actions that he was desperately trying to ignore.
She groups him with the people that are hurting her. Now, instead of him being a person who helps her, he’s a person who hurts her. Remember how I said that he was a source of Will’s insecurities in the other post? He’s also a source of El’s.
How he handles these two situations is very telling.
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CHAPTER 6: You're the Heart Source
In El’s case, he does the following:
(Creds to wiccanlytalented! Their post influenced some of my points here.)
1- Denial.
At first, Mike attempts to deny the idea that he’s a cause of El’s insecurities and is causing her pain. He tries to make sense of his reaction by thinking out loud, saying that he was just surprised or a bit upset at the moment.
This is also the first time he apologizes for the hurt that he’s caused. He’s beginning to see El as her own person rather than someone who can help him heal because she has placed them on opposing ends.
However, he is still in denial.
(implying that he did love her before, when she was still dependent on him)
Mike’s response to her question, in which she is vulnerable about her insecurities about being loved, was quite defensive. Instead of saying “I do”, he immediately criticizes the entire idea and makes it off to be something ridiculous—something that could never happen.
“You never say it.”
“I say it.”
Mike is confident in his words, doubling down on them.
“Okay, Eleven, you’re being ridiculous! Like, what is this? You know what I think of you.”
He then tries to downplay the issue by criticizing her rather than the problem itself, seeing as the latter didn’t work. He emphasizes that she knows what he thinks of her and that she shouldn’t be upset about ridiculous things.
“You can’t let these mouth breathers ruin you, ruin us.”
Mike is deflecting the blame from him and putting it onto the other sources of El’s insecurities, instead grouping himself with her as a victim of their wrath. I don’t think he did this in order to manipulate her at all, but instead to not acknowledge the fact that he’s the cause of some of the problems in their relationship.
If he’s the cause of some of the problems, it’s because he isn’t meeting societal standards. How could he not be meeting societal standards?
Because he doesn’t love El for who she is, he loves Will.
2- Considerations.
Then, El is taken away from him, leaving him alone with his thoughts—and Will.
Mike still sees a chance in fixing their relationship, placing him in a position where he is needed again. He is needed to put it together, but is he?
The last thing El leaves him is a note saying that she’s off to become a superhero again, referencing Mike’s last line in the argument.
She signs it off with “From, El” leaving their relationship off on a bitter note.
Now that Mike is alone with all of these complicated feelings (Do I love her? Why do I feel so attached to her?) he seeks comfort in Will, what he views as his best friend , and his problem.
Mike reveals his fear of not being able to get El back (his source of affirmation) to Will (the source that awakened his sexual identity issues). I think he felt comfortable being this vulnerable and open with Will because of how he sees himself in him, even if he views it as something negative. Will would understand, right? He’s my friend, one of my closest.
This line from Mike REALLY sticks out to me, because it shows what his true intentions are with fixing their relationship. While he's trying to find a solution, thinking of the possible outcomes if he did say I Love You, he’s only thinking of the result of their relationship, and not how he feels about it. He thinks, if I said I Love You, everything would be good—up to societal standards again. She’d want me to be with her, we’d be good again.
Why doesn’t he think about his own feelings?
If Mileven was in fact endgame, this conversation would’ve gone a little more different: “Do I love her?” — Mike would’ve been peeling the layers off of himself and exploring his identity. He would’ve been working through his complex emotions birthed by his insecurities and family life that didn’t teach him how to love right. His journey would’ve been more centered around figuring himself out and healing his past emotional scars, not how to get her back.
You can’t get her back if no progress is made within yourself since that’s where the root of the issue is, Mike.
3- Avoidance.
This stage is a mix of the one before it and a new addition of Mike’s argument: avoiding the solution. “I should’ve explained myself, cus then maybe Eleven would’ve taken me with her and things would be different, but… I didn’t… I didn’t know what to say.”
Mike knows what Eleven wants him to say, so why is he acting like he doesn’t? He’s trying to avoid the solution because he doesn’t feel confident in it, it doesn’t feel right or true to himself. He’s stuck between these two arguments in his head: If I told her I loved her, she would’ve wanted me with her and our relationship would be normal again—but I don’t feel right in doing so because I don’t feel it.
If he gives into the solution, he’s losing a part of himself—the part that loves Will.
The solution will bury all of those problems (Will), but Mike doesn’t have the heart to pick up the shovel.
(This is so embarrassing but I ran out of image space, so from now on I'll just put the quotes down. Blue is Mike, Yellow is Will, and Purple is El.)
“Sometimes I think it’s just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel. Especially to the people you care about the most. Because, what if… what if they don’t like the truth?”
Wise words from Will the Wise.
What Mike has to say to El is something that is positive and will fix their relationship—better it. So I think it’s an interesting choice for the writers to make Will put the solution of saying “I Love You” in a negative light.
“What if they don’t like the truth?” Again, if this was setting up for Mileven to be endgame, the pep talk here would’ve helped Mike better understand himself and his emotions, but instead it’s putting the solution in a negative light by prioritizing the truth. Now, we can put a label on the choices in Mike’s head: The Solution V.S. The Truth.
(This idea prompted by Will would loosely fit The Realization stage of Mike’s arc: Eventually, the character will realize that there’s something wrong with the way they’re living and that they need to fix that.)
4- Indecisiveness.
The Van Scene:
“We’re gonna make it, Mike. She’s gonna be okay.”
“Yeah, I know. I… I know she is. But… but what if after all this is over, she—she doesn’t need me anymore?”
Mike’s worry isn’t about El and her well-being because he’s optimistic about finding her, but rather himself. This isn’t to say that he’s disregarding her or that he doesn’t care for her, because he most definitely does, but it’s putting light on what his main concern is moving forwards with El: her not needing him anymore—her not affirming him either.
Now considering what Will helped him realize, that he has to choose between The Solution and The Truth, Mike’s worry about how to support their relationship has amplified.
In my opinion, a part of him wants her to decide for him, which is why he keeps circling back to her not needing him. That being said, another part of him—the part carrying the weight of internalized homophobia—is terrified of her deciding. He’s desperate to get back to normal, but still, what if that’s not he really wants? What if he wants to choose The Truth?
What if he wants to choose Will?
Will tries to reassure him by stating that El will always need him, but Mike (who we assume would want to hear that) says that he doesn’t believe it. This lack of belief sort of helps him, so it’s understandable why he would lean into this conclusion. If El doesn’t need him, then he can tell her The Truth—But god, what if she really does leave him?
Another reason why he would lean towards this conclusion is his own insecurities. He doesn’t think that he deserves to be needed, so obviously that would impact his perspective on his situation with El. Notice how his insecurities didn’t go away even after being needed? Take note of that for later.
“She's special. Maybe I was one of the first people to realize that.”
My interpretation of this line may not be that popular, but I’ll say it nonetheless. I think this was an attempt to reaffirm this belief that he is, in fact, important to her. He’s important to her character and is of some use to her.
We can see the conflict of The Solution V.S. The Truth quite clear here—He’s important to her, and reaffirming that can push him more towards The Solution, but then again, having to say it out loud and yet still needing more reassurance later on shows his lack of confidence in this line, pushing him towards The Truth.
“But the truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate. It’s—it’s not destiny. It’s just simple dumb luck.”
This is when we see how The Truth is supported in his mind. He doesn’t really love El, he just needs her to need him, and here are the arguments for that.
“And one day, she’s gonna realize I'm just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet, right? But… sorry.”
He degrades himself (and his worries), showing that his insecurities haven’t actually been lessened by this relationship with El. I’d argue that they worsened, seeing as he’s comparing himself with El—Superman. He sees El as something extraordinary, something that helps him, that makes him feel better about himself—that’s why he’s so desperate not to lose her.
5- Realization.
“No, it’s so stupid, given everything that’s going on. It’s just… I—I don’t know, I just…”
“You’re scared of losing her.”
Even in Mike’s rambles, Will seems to understand him. It startles Mike—makes him pause and lose his voice. This person sees him. Looking at it from Mike’s perspective, this painting was commissioned by El, right?
No, he knows it’s not.
Remember the airport scene?
"Nothing—It's just something I've been working on."
“Will is painting a lot but he won’t show me what he’s working on.”
Mike knows that this is the painting El mentioned in her letter. Mike was in Will’s room, he would’ve noticed if Will was working on another project—but he wasn’t. There’s nothing else to say; this is the painting Will was refusing to show El, but somehow she commissioned it?
I think Mike sees straight through Will’s bullshit.
He thinks that Will’s trying to make him feel better about El, but why? I’m not sure if he applied the whole “I think it’s for someone that he likes” to himself, seeing as that’s nothing more than El’s assumption, but I do think it crossed his mind.
Now something else is added to The Truth. Will may or may not like Mike, making Mike’s feelings even more confusing. He knows that he has a slight attraction to Will but is refusing to admit it (which is also affecting his decision of confessing his undying love to El), but now that there’s a possibility that Will feels the same, maybe he should give in?
“You’re guiding the whole party—inspiring us.”
Will’s telling him that he’s what’s holding the whole Party together—making him feel needed. As the audience, we know that what Will is saying aren’t El’s feelings, they’re his. But in Mike’s perspective, it could be a number of things.
1- They are El’s feelings, whether or not she commissioned the painting or not, she might’ve confided in Will which is why he knows what to say. 2- They aren’t her feelings, but they aren’t Will’s either. Instead, they’re just Will’s assumptions and half-truths about what El feels about him. 3- They are Will’s feelings disguised as El’s.
Mike feels a connection between him and Will, but it hasn’t been confirmed to him whether or not they’re one-sided. Everyone says that Will is queer, but how could they be so sure? Mike sees himself in Will because of his queerness, right? But what if he actually sees himself in those assumptions of Will’s queerness?
“It’s probably just because she’s scared of losing you, just like you’re scared of losing her.”
Will understands Mike, he sees Mike’s worries and responds. We’ve already established that. But with the existence of The Solution V.S. The Truth, it’ll be difficult for Mike to really give into Will’s words, especially since he doesn’t know for sure who they belong to.
He knows that El didn’t commission this painting, therefore Will is lying to him in order to make him feel better.
If Will’s words are true, then Mike should tell El he loves her because she still needs him. And the thing is, if Will is in love with him, why would he do such a thing? Nevertheless, could he really reciprocate Mike’s feelings? Oh, wait, but Mike isn’t like that, is he?
“So yeah, El needs you Mike, and she always will.”
“Yeah?”
If you watch the scene, you'll see a certain look in his face. That's hope.
I’ve seen some discourse over Mike’s facial expressions here so I’ll only state this once: Mike looks happy with Will’s words not because he’s thinking of El, but because he’s pleased with these feelings someone has for him.
I think this is when Mike truly comes to terms with his feelings for Will—because there’s a chance that they’re reciprocated.
And if Will’s words in the van were in fact his, that would mean that Will needs him. A part of Mike always knew that which is why he felt so close to Will, he wants to be needed.
For that same reason, he distanced himself from him. But now, with losing the thing that’s been distracting him from facing his true feelings, he sees the benefits of such a connection.
How could something so wrong make him feel this way—needed?
Actually needed, not thinking that they need to need him, like in El’s case.
6- Resignation.
(This section would be The Choices stage of Mike’s arc: The character is now forced to choose between what they want and what they need.)
After El is put in serious danger, Mike obviously panics. Luckily for him, Will is there to ease him (“Don’t stop, okay? You’re the heart.”).
“I’m here, I’m right here, okay?”
Mike seems to have not learned anything because what he’s telling El is that he’s right here if she needs him. If she’s scared—he’s right here. If she’s worried—he’s right here. If she needs help—he’s right here.
“And… I Love You!”
The placement of this line was very deliberate. To put it directly after showing that his relationship with El is not helping him, seeing as he still thinks that he has to be needed in order to be loved, is certainly a choice—we’ll touch on that last part later.
A statement showing the negatives of his arc followed by the love confession the show has been building up makes it extremely difficult to believe, because it shows the audience that he has not made any progress in himself.
If he did, then he wouldn’t be saying half of the things he does in this monologue. It makes the entire thing anticlimactic, and as a writer myself, I don’t see the benefits in putting my main couple in a position like this—a position that makes their love for one another confusing to the audience.
It should be clear and there shouldn’t be any negative statements, but there are. It shows that there hasn’t been growth in their relationship, even after two monologues with another character, which funnily enough, likes one of them.
I mentioned this before, but it’s also weird for them to not have El have a relieved expression, or at least a bit of a smile. Instead, she looks distressed, upset, and displeased with the situation. You could argue that she’s crying because of the overwhelming feelings of finally being loved, but it would not fit with the nature of the monologue and would be an injustice to her character.
If she truly believed in Mike’s monologue, that means A) she believed in the false statements he strung together and B) she has also made no growth or progress in her arc.
This will become clearer when we reach her section.
“It’s not because I’m scared of you. I’m not—I’ve never felt that way.”
But in Rink-O-Mania, Mike said the following: "What did you do?" - This was also perceived as fear by El herself.
“But I am scared that one day you’ll realize you don’t need me anymore.”
This is the only part of the monologue that’s actually true. Mike’s being vulnerable by expressing his fears and insecurities in front of literally everyone, including Will. This is the root of The Solution V.S. The Truth—not being needed.
What Mike does now will show us which choice he made. The Solution, telling El he loves her in order to fix their relationship, or The Truth, refraining from saying that to El because he doesn’t feel that way, and instead choosing to believe that those were Will’s feelings in the van.
The choice seems obvious, but the thing is…
Mike is scared.
He’s a 15 year old boy with sexual identity issues in the 80s. He grew up in an unhealthy environment, which resulted in him developing insecurities and attachment issues. If he’s wrong about this, about Will liking him, everything will fall apart. He’ll hurt El, tension will grow in his relationship with Will—with the Byers as a whole, society will view him as a failure of a man, and worst of all, he’ll be right.
Choosing The Truth means that he’s putting hope in a boy reciprocating his feelings. He’ll be coming to terms with the fact that his love for El was never love, but the want to be needed. And even if he is okay with that, what about the others—"What if they don’t like The Truth?"
That’s why it’s so easy to believe that Mike chose The Solution.
“And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more.”
Mike doesn’t want to hurt. He’s scared of pain. He holds onto this relationship because it eases it like drugs. Saying I Love You would just make everything feel more real. And if it’s real, if they aren’t in their utopia, people can see them. What if they don’t like what they see?
“But the truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you.”
I would consider this a half-truth. He doesn’t know how to live without her because right now, he believes that in order to be loved—to live—he needs to be needed. If she’s not there, how will he live?
“I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods.”
He did, because from that day onwards he could be needed and acknowledge that. With Will, he couldn’t. It was wrong.
“And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I’ve loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are.”
Mike is putting so much emphasis on how much he loves her, how insane it is for there to even be a consideration that he doesn’t, because he wants to drive the point of The Solution even more. He loves her, he really does. He really does. And because he loves her, everything will be fine.
“You’re my superhero!”
This line shows that even after everything, Mike does not understand El’s character.
Not only does this go against her arc, but it also places her on a pedestal above Mike. There is no equality in their relationship because Mike views her as something higher than a human being, something that can fix him. This is an imbalance that creates multiple problems for both of these characters; possibility of pacifying during arguments, prioritizing them over friends and family to a ridiculous extent, and not understanding the emotional problems of one another because they are not on the same level.
“And… I can’t lose you.”
Mike can’t lose El because if he loses El, The Truth will win by default. If that happens, then everything I stated before about his fears will be true. Mike can’t live with that.
“You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains—I believe that. I really do.”
Mike motivates her by comparing her to stereotypical superhero things, and for the sake of not repeating myself, I’ll let you find out the problem in that.
“You need to fight. You have to fight. Fight!”
Mike truly believes in her and her powers. What’s motivating him is wanting to remove himself from being one of the sources of her insecurities. He doesn’t think she’s a monster—she’s a superhero! And he loves her.
To stop being a source, Mike sacrifices a part of himself, further pushing the point that he doesn’t see them on the same level. It’s unhealthy and ruinous. There’s a bigger problem in their relationship which is hurting the both of them. Them ending on a sour note at the end of the season is supposed to mean something. This choice was purposely made by the writers. If they really were the endgame couple, there wouldn’t be this many problems within their relationship—the big love confession wouldn’t be full of lies and things that go against El’s entire arc. That’s where the problem is.
The Truth.
—
In Will's case, he does the following:
Let’s just give ourselves a quick reminder to how Mike is a source of Will’s insecurities. I talked about it a lot in his post.
In season 3, Mike tells Will that it’s not his fault that Will doesn’t like girls, making Will believe in what people have told Will his entire life: He is a mistake. This causes tension in their relationship around the same time tension also arises in Mike and El’s.
Now let’s look at how he handles this.
1- Projection.
“I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay? But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”
I wouldn’t even count this as a part of how he handles being a source of Will’s insecurities because he hasn’t even realized it yet. Instead, I interpret this scene as him projecting his feelings onto Will. What he’s saying to Will is what he’s saying to himself.
What did you think, Mike? That you were never gonna get a girlfriend? That you were just gonna sit in your basement with Will all day and play games for the rest of your lives? That’s not how a man should be. You aren’t a kid anymore. Grow up.
2- Taking Accountability.
After letting the situation sink in, Mike’s immediate response is to bike across town in the rain to apologize to Will. He doesn’t give up after not finding him in his house, instead going to Castle Byers. You know what this reminds me of?
"He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness." - Max to El after she dumped Mike.
“Will! Will, I’m sorry man, alright? I was being a total asshole. Please, can you just come outside and we’ll talk?”
Mike is not in denial about the fact that he is in the wrong, that he hurt Will. He doesn’t try to evade responsibility like he did with El by grouping himself as a victim. What he told Will is what he tells himself, and that feeling hurts. He knows what it’s like and he doesn’t want to hurt Will in that way.
This shows how much care he has for Will as an individual. This does not mean that he doesn’t care for El, it just means that being a source of her insecurities meant him taking the blame AND admitting his love for Will, not solely confronting his sexuality like in Will’s (more on that in a moment).
3- Pause.
Now this is the difference between Will’s case and El’s case.
In season 4, Mike was separated from the problems of Vecna and the UD so that his focus could be on the I Love You issue. However, in Will’s case, Mike was in the middle of the conflict just like everyone else, making it more difficult to talk one-on-one. This paired with Will’s catatonic state stretched the problem of Will’s case over the course of two seasons rather than one.
It’s not until the last scene of season 3 do we see some progress being made.
“Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?”
“Not possible.”
Just like with Will’s arc, it seems like everything is back to normal to Mike. They got over that little bump in their relationship just fine, and Will not being open to the idea of being with anyone else eliminates the possibility of Mike being a source of his insecurities. Why would you want to be near a person like that? Right?
Again, just like in Will’s arc, the answer is no.
Before we head into the mess that is season 4, I want to go over the stuff Will and Mike do have together in season 3.
After the fight, we see Mike doing things that Will complains about him not doing.
“Where’s Dustin right now?” = Mike later on repeatedly tells Lucas to call Dustin.
This even reaches season 4.
“You’re ruining our party!” = Mike trying to convince Lucas to play DnD.
Mike takes what Will says to heart.
A user by the name of timblriche pointed this out in a great post, even comparing it to Lucas’ parents’ conversation.
“First, I apologize. Then I get your mother whatever she wants.”
—
“What if he hurts someone?”
“Or kills someone?”
“We can’t take that chance.”
We see them jump off of each other's ideas, reaffirming the fact that everything seems to be fine. In fact, everything is better than fine. They’re understanding and taking account of one another’s points before the rest of the Party, like they have this special connection or something.
“I feel him… He’s activated.”
“Max, get away from the door. Get away from the door!”
↑ Another example.
“They’re conspiring against me.”
“That’s what you’re concerned about now?”
“It’s not my main concern. It’s just a sub-concern.”
“I thought it was already over.”
“It’s not over, okay? We’re just taking a break.”
“She said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.”
*Max tells them she hears them*
“Conspiring. I told you, they’re conspiring.”
Mike and Will seem to be on okay terms unless they’re talking about El and the relationship Mike is trying to fix. Will sees through his bullshit and Mike doesn’t like the fact that he does.
It’s like every time Will criticizes him on this topic, Mike feels threatened.
How could Will know?
4- Avoidance.
As I stated before, I believe that Mike realized his feelings for Will at the end of season 3.
Everything slowly came together—the projection, the closeness, the feeling of being threatened. He suppressed these emotions which pushed him further towards El—towards that utopia.
He tries to distance himself from Will even before going to Lenora. Some Bylers point out the fact that Mike has tried to call and is bothered by Joyce always being on the line, but I’d argue that those calls weren’t actually for Will, at least not all of them.
While the idea is cute, I feel like it’s something Mike would bring up to defend himself when Will complains about him not calling enough. It also doesn’t align with how he’s handling Will’s case. He’s trying to distance himself from him because he’s scared that if he gets too close, things will happen. If he avoids Will, he avoids the problem. At least that was what he was planning to do.
Initially, he avoids even touching Will. He keeps El between them and doesn’t make an effort to include him. The only moment where he and Will are next to each other is when they sit down on the bench, and it’s like he couldn’t contain himself because he immediately makes the dumbest joke ever and looks over to Will for approval.
But the biggest thing that Mike is avoiding and the entire point of this case is that he is a source of Will’s insecurities. In El’s case, we saw how he tried to deny it and weigh his options (since it suggested he had feelings for Will), but with Will, he avoids it altogether.
This is because the root of him being a source of Will’s insecurities is him and only him. There’s nothing that’s actively opposing him, so it’s easy to delay it. What he said to make Will insecure is what he tells himself. Confronting the problem isn’t just confronting Will, but confronting himself too.
5- Fixation.
As soon as the day started, Mike’s focus zeroed in on Will. While a large part of the reason is the painting, I’d argue that it’s also because Will’s annoyance is threatening his relationship.
The reason why he said that line to Will during the rain fight in the first place was because Will seeing through his bullshit relationship was a threat. Yes again, I know. I’m like a parrot at this point.
He gets extremely defensive as his relationship with El is directly connected to his sexuality, and if Will sees that something is wrong and is bothered by it, then there is something wrong
“She's [Lucas' mother] never wrong, son." - Charles Sinclair
He fixates on how Will is acting. He’s annoyed, he’s uncomfortable, he’s “moping”. In Mike’s mind, he’s ruining the whole day—the whole perfect day in him and El’s utopia. When trouble strikes, Mike blames it on Will—his fixation, his distraction.
If Mike didn’t focus so much on Will, then he would’ve noticed that bad things were happening to El, right? But, why would he be so focused on Will? How could he be?
Rink-O-Mania:
“You should’ve told me she was having trouble.”
“I didn’t know they were gonna be here, Mike.”
“Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for a year and didn’t tell me.”
How could Will, who noticed that El was having troubles, not tell Mike? How could Mike not have caught onto that?
He’s frustrated with this mirror of himself, which is why it’s so difficult to differentiate between being the source of Will’s insecurities and having those insecurities himself.
“I didn’t know she was lying to you.”
Will reminds him that he was in the dark about El’s lies. He didn’t know that El had been building up this fake life, and he didn’t feel like it was his place to speak up for her.
Then, Mike changes the conversation to Will “sabotaging the whole day”.
“You were rolling your eyes, you were moping. You were barely talking. You basically sabotaged the whole day.”
Will was the one who was ruining everything by ignoring El, not Mike. Definitely not Mike. Mike is literally projecting his feelings onto Will here, getting upset with him over the fact that he (as in Mike) messed up. He doesn’t want to admit that he was focusing on Will all day because if he was, then he’d have to answer why.
A boy like him in the 80s would not like that answer, so it’s easier to throw these feelings onto someone else.
“Well she was lying to you, Mike. Straight to your face ever since you got here.”
Will restates the fact that El is in the wrong for lying, not him. As I said before, he’s bringing light onto the actual situation, not whatever the hell Mike’s trying to do.
“And I’ve been a total third wheel all day. It’s been miserable. So, sorry if I wasn’t—wasn’t smiling.”
“Yeah, whatever, man.”
Now that Will is telling Mike how he feels, not what Mike is projecting onto him, he tries to end everything and just walks off. This is when the fact that Mike is a source of Will’s insecurities, his pains, is highlighted. Mike can’t handle the responsibility right now, not with these new developments of romantic feelings.
It’s different from season 3. Back then, he hadn’t realized anything yet. Now, he has, and his next actions show that.
“Well, what about us?”
“What?”
Mike turns around before Will even gets the full sentence out, and his face is full of something—Hope.
“You’re mad that I didn’t talk to you? Seems like you made it super clear that you’re not interested in anything I have to say.”
“That’s just not true.”
Due to how Mike is acting, Will feels like he isn’t interested in him in the slightest. Mike dismisses this, saying that it’s not true, which can be interpreted in two ways. 1- It’s literally not true, Mike is interested in what Will has to say. 2- It’s not true because Mike can’t make him feel this way, right? Mike can’t be a source of his insecurities.
“Meanwhile, El has a book of letters from you.”
“That’s because she’s my girlfriend, Will.”
El is getting all of this attention from Mike because she’s his girlfriend...
...but why is it that as soon as Will is nearby, she loses all of that attention?
Mike put some distance between him and Will because it’ll cause some troubles in his perfect relationship with El. If Will’s too close, he’ll get too much attention from Mike, and that’ll affect his relationship.
“And us?”
“We’re friends. We’re friends.”
“Well, we used to be best friends!”
Mike is emphasizing on the fact that they’re friends, trying to set a boundary between a romantic relationship and a friendship. Then, Will clarifies that he was referring to them being best friends, not anything else. He’s referring to how they were in the past—how they should be right now.
This unresolved tension between them is eating them both alive.
Mike is taking everything romantically because that’s what he’s scared of, romance with Will. He wants to not only distance himself from the idea, but build a wall between them too.
But the thing is, nobody is asking him to do that. Nobody is pushing him too. This is of his own doing.
“Then maybe you should’ve reached out more. I don’t know. But why is this on me? Why—Why am I the bad guy?”
Mike is reluctant to accept accountability and is pushing it onto Will. This isn’t to say that Will didn’t take part in the radio silence between them, he did, but Mike is using this as a way to avoid reflecting on himself.
He doesn’t want to look at what he did, the distance he put between them, because the reason for that is humiliating to him. Being queer isn’t normal, it makes you different.
Mike projected this onto Will, adding onto his pre-existing insecurity about it, which caused him to distance himself in a panic. Still, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He’s afraid of being him.
6- Building the Bridge.
After El is taken away, the tension between Mike and Will is put on hold to debrief. Well, for Will to debrief.
Jonathan's Room:
“If you keep staring at that, it’s not gonna change. You know?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”
("She's never wrong, son.")
“Whatever you didn’t say to her, you can tell her then.”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
("She's never wrong, son.")
—
“You don’t trust Owens?”
“No—I don’t know. I mean, he’s been good to us and good to El, but he wasn’t able to protect me. That was you guys who saved me. That was you guys.”
Despite what’s happening between them, Mike and Will are vulnerable with one another in this scene. Will places emphasis on the fact that they [Mike] saved him, which builds a bridge of understanding between the two because it adheres to Mike’s arc—being needed.
Even if Will didn’t single him out, Mike’s reaction to what he said shows that he was pleased with it.
“Looks like it’s gonna be up to us again.”
“It always is, isn’t it?”
He groups himself with Will against “The Big Bad” just like he does with El (“You can’t let these mouthbreathers ruin you, ruin us!”) except this time it’s not because he wants to avoid accountability, but rather because he loves Will—Will makes him feel needed, he wants to be grouped with him because it feels right.
7- Taking Accountability, Again.
Will's room:
“Thanks, by the way.”
“For what?”
“For knocking some sense into me. I mean, I was being a total self-pitying idiot.”
Firstly, let’s note the fact that Mike came into the room prepared to talk about how he was acting and ready to take accountability of it. He knew that he was the problem—that he was hurting Will—and is apologizing for it on his own accord. He also calls himself a “self-pitying idiot” which further drives the point that during that fight, his arguments were moreso directed at himself, as they were motivated by his own insecurities.
“Oh, I didn’t say it.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Mike didn’t need to hear it from Will—matter of fact, from anyone—for him to own up to his mistakes. He didn’t need several pep-talks like he did with El for MULTIPLE seasons.
If you constantly need someone to figure out how to handle a relationship instead of just talking with your partner, then there are communication issues in your relationship and they need to be fixed.
Mike is open and honest when it comes to Will—they communicate. They don’t need Lucas to tell Mike what to do. We already know that from Will’s perspective, this is the talk that helped him feel less of a mistake. Meaning that this is the talk in which Mike slowly removes himself from being a source of Will’s insecurities.
We can see it happening as the scene progresses.
“Hey, also, about the last few days—”
“You don’t have to say anything. I–I was being a total jerk to El. I deserved it.”
“No. No, no, no. You didn’t deserve anything.”
Mike (the source) brings up the problem, the fixation. He addresses his own ignorance, and when Will tries to take the blame, he doesn’t let him. He’s taking accountability, again.
“Listen, the truth is, the last year… has been weird, you know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re… they’re great. They’re great. It’s just… it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you.”
The reason why Mike was a source of Will’s insecurities was because he made him feel like a mistake—he made him feel different, an outcast that wasn’t wanted.
It’s here that Mike tells him that he is wanted. As I said before...
How can Will be a mistake if he is wanted?
It makes him doubt his beliefs. Just like with El, Mike wants Will because Will needs him—but it doesn’t stop there. Will sees him, Will understands him, Will brings him comfort, Will sympathizes with him. Will loves him, and Mike may not be sure of that, but he does.
And because Mike loves Will, he interprets Will’s actions as romantic affection (which they are). This gives him something to compare his relationship with El to, and as I said before, he doesn’t like that answer.
“And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?”
Now that Mike has effectively removed himself from being a source, he’s moving the light to focus only on his love for Will—his want for him. He’s saying that him losing Will was something bad, something that affected him negatively, something he wants to reverse. Not only has he bettered their relationship, but he’s also trying to move forwards with it.
“I have no idea what’s gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I—I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re… we’re a team. Friends. Best friends.”
What was that thing Charles said?
"Then, I get your mother whatever she wants."
↓
"We used to be best friends!"
—
What did we get from this?
The treatment Mike gives Will and El differs because of how he perceives them and how they help him heal his own issues.
He can’t show El that she’s wanted because he doesn’t want her—he wants Will, and he wants Will because Will needs him. El doesn’t.
There’s a missing thread in their relationship that’s causing it to break, and yet, Mike still chooses to be with her. In the end, he chooses The Solution.
When analyzing their relationship in Volume 2, it is very important to consider the high stakes they are placed in. It drove the conflict their handling at such a fast rate that neither of them could fully comprehend it. This is an interesting writing choice from the Duffers. Instead of giving them space, like they did with Will and Mike in the Cali plot (the Byler plot), they wanted to test their relationship even further. This isn’t an excuse to how they acted, this is to show their lack of understanding of one another.
The writers wanted us to know that before going into season 5. They also wanted us to compare it to his relationship with Will, which is why they spent the most time together this season.
—
So, what direction is Mike’s arc going in now?
By the end of season 4, Mike has professed his love to El in an attempt to fix their relationship. This was his decision—and ultimately, it failed.
When we reach El’s arc, I’ll explain this in a clearer way, but since we’re in Mike’s perspective, this is all we know.
El is upset, she believes Brenner, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, and she’s never lost like this—and she doesn’t want comfort from Mike, the person who she’s supposed to want, to need.
This is Mike’s problem, he wants to be needed.
But the thing is, this is a very unhealthy mindset. You aren’t only worth it if you're needed—that isn’t what you have to measure yourself by. You don’t have to be needed, you have to be wanted. Being needed means being depended on, and if you don’t have independence and autonomy inside your relationship, then you’ll run into the same issues Mike and El did.
But when you’re wanted—when you’re wanted despite your flaws, despite your “weaknesses”—you don’t have to constantly support a provider x need-er system. You’re free to be yourself because you're loved despite everything.
You’re loved for who you are, not what you can do. This is what Mike needs to realize in season 5 in order to truly be in a stable relationship with someone. Good for him that Will wants him, even though he was bitchy to him, even though he added onto his insecurities.
El is the complete opposite of that.
The things Mike and El want contradict each other’s arcs. They can’t be together if Mike wants to be needed and El wants independence.
—
I really hope that all of that made sense. This is the first draft of Mike's arc and I'm probably going to tweak it here and there in order to make it more concise.
As I said in the beginning, this is a part of my video The Byler Problem. Funnily enough, it was meant to come out today. Mike's inability to be a normal person just hit me like a truck, so I don't know when I'll ever be done w this.
Anyways, thank you for reading! I've put a lot of effort into this. I hope you enjoyed it.
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