In my exposé War on Friends: Volume I, I vaguely explored the way the concept of friendship has been being systematically deteriorated through mainstream media, with this deterioration reaching its apex after the cancellation of the TV show Friends. It would have been a more in depth investigation, but depth takes research and research takes time and time is money! I have no money because this is the struggle; these are those times. It’s okay though- I successfully got through high school using sparknotes on the Internet. Detail is indulgent.
In Volume II of the War on Friends, I want to explore this zeitgeisty term- The Friendzone. What is The Friendzone? My understanding of the Friendzone, according to several male humans I’ve spoken to and about half a dozen blog posts, is that the Friendzone is when a chick decides she wants to be your friend? I put a question mark there to indicate that I’m saying that sentence in upspeak. As in, I don’t understand? What’s wrong with someone wanting to be your friend? That’s a real question. The answer is: There’s nothing wrong with a female wanting to be your friend except for that there’s a war on friends going on! If you’re not in the friendzone, do you know what zone you’re in? You’re in the enemyzone or the strangerzone, if you’re not familyzone by default. Friendzone is the best zone to be in if you want literally anything else to do with a female. Friends get benefits. Play your benefits right, and that can lead to anywhere. Sexzone, boyfriendzone, husbandzone, gettinglaidfrequentlyzone— all subsets of the fucking friendzone. Stay tuned for part 3 of this investigative series on the War on Friends. Bye.
janainaart
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tangentwithtanner
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