Analyzing Ursa's character is interesting because the statements
'she did love Azula but she didn't enable her bad behavior like Ozai and because of that Azula had little chance of listening to her, just like Iroh'
and the statement
'she preferred to chastise her daughter with "What is wrong with that child" to the empty air rather than step in at any point and more forcibly try to take her out of Ozai's influence, especially since she should damn well being able to recognize her husband's grooming, just like Iroh'
are both true.
Unfortunately I think the show, at least from what I can tell, legitimately wants you to laugh along and agree with Ursa about something 'being wrong with this child' rather than think critically. A child who acts out like that is always the result of a parent. Even the show says no one's born bad repeatedly over-and-over to the point of hitting you with Ozai's baby pictures over the head. This does not mean Azula lacks agency for her actions later in life, or even as a child, no, it's just acknowledging the fact that there were plenty of adults who could have helped her, corrected her, steered her to do better, or at the very least tried rather than do nothing. Which they did. They did nothing.
Azula is a tragedy because she is the culmination of all the Royal Family's worst traits - someone taught to rule by fear who lost all she loved to nothing save her own toxic and coercive traits, who could have easily so easily been steered off the path by any number of people who should have at least tried to show their love a little equally.
The trick to writing a compelling Ursa is that Azula and Ursa both will tell you skewed perspectives. Azula will take everything as the worst possible abandonment, Ursa (and Zuko) will downplay and justify everything as the best possible reality.
The real Ursa lies somewhere in the middle - a woman who did love her children, but definitely didn't show the same love equally to them, nor take the same steps to correct their bad behavior. Listen to how Ursa corrects Zuko throwing food at the Turtleducks gently and reassuringly versus her chastising Azula to the empty air.
The phrases 'Ursa loved both her children and wanted the best for both of them' and 'Ursa absolutely 100% had a favorite child she cared more about helping' do not contradict each other.
The only time Ozai had true, absolute power was when he became Fire Lord. A state only caused by Ursa's absence. Even if he say, was abusive beforehand, Ozai was extremely disliked in the palace and Ursa could have legit just sought audience with Azulon to go kick bro's ass. Before becoming Fire Lord, he was Azulon's scorned second son, lucky-to-be-born versus his favorite child, Iroh, born lucky. Ozai projects his own relationship with his brother - a vain jealousy that likely turned him into such a self-minded egotistical monster - onto Zuko and Azula. Hence, he is probably so aggravated about a 'weakling' Zuko since in his head, it's proof that Iroh is superior while he is inferior, not recognizing basic logic like all children should be loved unconditionally regardless of how good Firebenders they are, and how Ozai is apparently technically a better Firebender than Iroh so that point is moot.
A secret third thing that's true about Ursa is that she was all for supporting the war, given the way she smiled and was excited about Iroh's letters and the way she laughed at his 'joke' at burning Ba Sing Se to the ground just like her kids. She's just as imperialistic as your average Fire Nation citizen, she just isn't one with any decision-making power. She loves her children, she'll tell you, even if she does very much play favorites.
Side note least favorite trope in fics is making Azula burn/kill animals (usually turtleducks) as a child just to make her seem like a serial killer in the making. Like oookay, sure. Note that Zuko was attempting to imitate Azula's poor feeding of the Turtleducks, not call her an animal-murderer. If Azula did kill turtleducks Zuko'd be upset about it for weeks, not try to mockingly imitate her. It's just Zuko teasing Azula for doing poorly and seeking approval for it, just as Azula likely mocked Zuko about his Firebending in front of Ozai to seek his approval.
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