I wish I could learn how to be the one that loves less.
In any relationship there is the person who loves more and the person who loves less.
And I find myself over and over again being the one that cares more than the other.
And I suffer in ways no being should.
I'm in pain. I'm in pain.
So I wish someone would just write a guide on how to love less.
How to hide your heart.
How to be enough for yourself.
Because I can see that you find yourself enough for yourself.
But I do not feel whole.
My heart is yearning. These bones are yearning for a hug for me to hear I love you.
As I say it with no disregard with no limitations with no restrictions or censorship.
But you enjoy winning more than you enjoy loving me.
And you take being loved by me as default.
I have never said this out loud, I have never written it down.
The future is too scary for me to think of it so o just leave it be.
We live in now I hope the world with either fix itself or destroy itself by the time I need to figure it out.
And I and dreaming of breaking free. But the only prison I have ever known was the one of my own making.
Life is not really what I thought it was going to be.












