Erin Jardine @amazonairenn - Tumblr Blog

Write; you lazy fuck

For the past few months, I'll admit, I sulked inwardly and found little in life to become passionate about. I pacified my lack of emotions by the reasoning that not very many 20somethings are inspired greatly by something. Not very many 20somethings even have a job, so why should I work full time, and expect myself to write things. Who does that? I told myself I earned a break. From writing, from feeling, from doing anything creatively. Being creative is hard work. Especially when I am sorrounded by people who expel brilliance and art effortlessly on a daily basis. Why would I even try when there's people out there better than me, at everything, ever.

That mentality sums up the first quarter of my first year off from school. Not even negative, just...lethargic. Every day I'd tell myself "write something you piece of shit, it doesn't have to be music related, or book related, fuck, just put something on paper that is your own." But it just was not coming forth. I did examine it though, more and more everyday. I nailed down some influences that might be halting the river of creativity that I horrendously took for granted my whole life.

1. I dislike my job.

I work from 5pm until 1am. AKA, MY MOST CREATIVE AND POWERFUL HOURS throughout my entire undergraduate degree. I sold those hours for fourteen pathetic dollars an hour.

2. I live(d) in a basement.

No oven, no bathtub, no daylight. Oh, but there were squirrels or rats in my ceiling. Every once in a while my copious amounts of shedding hair would clog every drain in the bathroom and force me to engage in disaster control. I would tell myself that a great creative would be able to write from anywhere, under the influences of anything.

3. I'm sorrounded by brilliance, and all I have is this fucking struggle story.

Name an artform, I know someone who does it - either exceptionally well or full on professionally. I'd needlessly compare my talents to others and ask myself "why didn't I keep drawing" "why didn't I keep playing the piano".

Awful, negative headspace and situation innit? Poor, poor me.

I've always been a person of change. However in my youth I've had to orchestrate these changes with the influence and guidance of my family or my education. After almost half a year of sitting around wondering why I felt nothing and what direction I was going to go in my first year on my own I had the realization that there was nothing left. There was no school I had to return to. There certainly weren't any parents or debt to be shackled to. The only thing I was trapped in was my own depressingly pathetic headspace. That basement could have been my muse had I encountered the space at a different point in my life. It was not thaaat bad. However it was a negative source of energy, it was not where I wanted to be, and I knew I had to change it and finally, I realized that the only person who was going to put in the sweat and tears to make that change was myself.

I'm now sitting in a third floor two bedroom apartment in East Vancouver. I feel like someone finally switched on a light in my life. People in my life would say to me "moving is SUCH a drag" "you're moving this weekend, that SUCKS". I ignored them completely, and at the end of the week of moving and not missing a single shift, I opened a beer and congratulated myself on yet another move powered solely by my own energy.

I have my fingers crossed on a new job. I bought a bike to cut down on the emotional drain that using public transit does to me (sometimes people really, really suck). I did a full hour of yoga this morning. I am woken up by sunshine through my window. Change is happening, and I could not welcome it more.

My attitude towards life and comparing myself to others is a shitty thing to do. It's a waste of energy and it's absolutely useless. I don't recommend it as a therapeutical practice. I told myself to let go of expectations in my writing, I've decided I don't need a direction, nor do I need to tailor my writing to help me become employed in a generic 'writing' field. I don't need to be better than others. I don't need to become an 'artist'. I don't need to start writing a novel about overcoming struggles. All I needed to do was get words out of my brain, and apparently I needed to move apartments, find a new job and give myself a serious mental reality check in order to make that happen

and I could finally sit down and fucking write something.

#vancouver #personal

I'm taking the opportunity to personally microblog my pictures and more importantly memories to a very small audience, or no audience at all. My first moment goes to almost exactly a year ago. I was in my fourth and last year of university. Of course coffee and beer kept me awake and sane through most of it. In my last week of school ever, I found myself in an almost empty dormitory, with no microwave. Hence the photo documentation of my first and hopefully last time heating food with my hair dryer.

Daily thrills happened as soon as I dragged myself out of bed in the morning to hit up a Tim Hortons for a chance at a free coffee. In such a small town like Wolfville, it was the cheap thrills that kept us all going.

I wrote for the student newspaper and experienced some of my best university memories driving around the province, meeting people and scoring media passes to dozens of live music events. I got the Daria award for the my obvious cartoon alter-ego. After four long years. I earned that damn piece of paper that is carefully placed away in my apartment. I skipped the ceremony. I'm not one for hosting parents in a shit apartment with no food and no activities planned. Plus I could escape Nova Scotia to Vancouver before flying to Ghana!

It feels weird writing about myself. But I've been told so many times to write about what you know. I hope to carry this forward as a personal journey, but am happy to share. I love a lot of things. Most notably animals, travels, dreaming about travels, music, live music, friends and family. On my slightly self absorbed side I love tattoos and body modifications, and plan on tracking down the perfect pieces for my body. Oh, and I've taken a bit of a personal vow never to dye my hair again and let it go wild. Please follow if you're up for some personal stuff, I've hidden my name because this particular variation of my microblog will be 420 friendly. For life reasons at the moment that needs to stay separate. I hope you enjoy. Cheers, Airenn

#momentage #university #memories #microblog #personal

rami-main

Lerick by Lance Ingle

amazonairenn

Tattoo Inspiration

Holy shit. What a year this has been. At this time last year I was making all sorts of bad decisions with a bunch of people who are absolute strangers to me now. I remember being happy back then, but that happiness is nothing compared to the high on life I cultivated throughout 2013.

I learned a lot about myself this year. I found myself being faced with challenge after challenge in my social life, academic career and future decisions. 2013 was about taking control of my life, standing up for myself and making choices with radically different motivations. I stopped putting other people's comfort and expectations before my own. This process took months. Looking back I remember vividly how difficult it was to make any move to make my life better. How easy it could have been to apologize for my controversial actions and continue living in the mediocre comfort zone that had become the norm of my life for the past three and a half years. I felt so much pressure to graduate, to keep the people I loved at the time happy, and determine what my future would look like. The pressure from the people in my life led to many breaking points. Getting in the car and driving away from someone I loved, was simultaneously the hardest thing I had to do in my life, but also the launch point for the changes that desperately needed to be made. I torched metaphorical bridges with deep sadness and relief. I learned how to reach out for help, I helped myself, and I moved on.

My trip to Ghana solidified my position on the events of the past. I realized how happy the world could be after I left Nova Scotia. That love could exist in a pure form, without undercurrents of jealousy, resentment and anger. Thrown entirely out of my element, I danced without insecurity. I guided my own path on this new adventure and felt grounded in the choices I made. It was the perfect transition to the second half of 2013. I learned how to let go of the past, trust others, and be okay with the heartache that comes with saying goodbye.

I left my immediate family this year. I viewed moving back home to Vancouver as the last challenge I needed to really feel good about who I was as a person. I really wanted to resolve over five years of tension, but I soon found out that I was the only one interested in self reflection. I started from zero, left the program I had enrolled in, moved out and found a job.

Now, nearly three months later. I am certain I made the right choices. I have never been happier, I am in love with my daily life and am incredibly proud to be independent. Compromise, I have learned, is one of the most difficult things to negotiate in any social relationship, especially for young people. At this point, armed with the challenges I overcame this year, I think I have a much better idea of when to stick to my values and morals and when to slow down and listen. The relationships I have in my life heading into 2014 could not be more different. I feel strong and supported by the people who are now in my life. I rarely think about the bridges I've left behind and focus my energy on strengthening the relationships I have now. To those who stuck with me through my struggle, you know who you are, thank you. 2014 is going to be a year of goals, dreams, love and positivity and I am excited to share it with you.

#new year #reflection #love #happiness

Writing advice - Imgur

whatshouldwecallme

Every time I think I have my life together

Prostitutes and police officers

I saw this tweet and felt the urge to lay down some thoughts on this. In places other than the first world, the police force is very authoritarian. I remember someone pointing out a scantily clad woman and calling her a prostitute, in Ghana. I asked why these women weren't pulled off the street and into jail (as a typical Canadian would assume). Turns out, the police force are usually customers. In countries where bribery operates as a taboo second system, prostitutes are WAY more likely to have sex with a police officer.

-erinjardine.ca

#social commentary #twitter

THEY'RE LIKE HIPSTER-INDIE DIXIE CHICKS IN A FUCKING GOOD WAY

HAIM - "The Wire" Off the upcoming album 'Days Are Gone' out now. Watch the official video for "The Wire": http://haaa.im/thewirevideo 'DAYS ARE GONE' Purchase standard: http://haaa.im/DaysAreGoneFB Purchase deluxe: http://haaa.im/DaysAreGoneDLXFB Available on vinyl- US: http://haaa.im/HJ4qzm EU: http://haaa.im/Uxfa More music: "Falling" http://haaa.im/lWwJYS "Forever" EP http://haaa.im/czYaVJ "Don't Save Me" http://haaa.im/NmtGTy The Wire Lyrics by Alana Haim / Danielle Haim / Este Haim Published By: Haim Productions, Inc. Produced by Ariel Rechtshaid / Danielle Haim / Alana Haim / Este Haim Mastered by Emily Lazar (P) 2013 Haim Productions Inc. under exclusive license to Columbia Records & Polydor Records

#SoundCloud #HAIM #Alternative #haim #the #wire

Tattoo influences

Tattoos are a very personal, time consuming element of my life. I spend hours and hours looking at websites of artists both local and across the world. The art has changed so much and has diversified like crazy. I have collected tons of images, sketched countless designs and dreamed hours away. Part of why tattoos become such a manifestation in our minds is the money that is needed to invest in a piece of art that you choose to play permanently on your body. These are my favourite artists at the moment. Hit the pictures for links to their webpages.

1. Peter Walrus

Peter Walrus is located at Meatshop Tattoo, in Copenhagen, Denmark. While the image above is beautiful, I really included it as a personal reference to what I want in a half sleeve. His real stunning works are his crazy back and sleeve pieces. The structure and shading in his work are amazingly memorable. I follow his Facebook profile and you should too, he uploads his works in progress regularly.

2. Loic Lavenu aka. Xoil

Sticking with the European theme before I head back to artists in Canada and the US who are a tad more within financial and physical reach for me. Xoil has big, colourful and strong pieces that are unmistakeable. I've seen his raven tattoo below all over the internet.

I love realism and limited colour in tattoos. His work is absolutely the epitome of what to look for in an artist. I love the emotion that hits me when I see his work. Look at that picture below, so many emotions. He is located (sadly) in Thonon Les Bains, France at a studio called Needles Side Tattoo.

3. Marcin Aleksander Surowiec

The final pipe dream artist is from Warsaw, Poland. Based out of Jazz Tattoo that has a very limited website (why would they even need a website with an artist like this?). He has clearly mastered all types of tattoos (animals, flowers, symbols etc.) and has definitely started trends with colour and the use of bold lines. I love seeing an artist's style change from piece to piece, really showing that they can change with the ideas of the subject they are creating for. Just look at the contast between these two works by him! Again, his Facebook page is the best way to take a good look at what he does. European tattoo tour anyone?

4. Alice Carrier

This chick. I want to make an appointment with her into a road trip. I love absolutely everything about her. Her tumblr is so delightful. Her location (Portland, Oregan) at Anatomy Tattoo makes her an actual possibility for my tattoo travels. She does feminine tattoos unbelievably well, but almost always has deeper, darker elements to her tattoos that suggest a real depth to her as an artist. I hear she's super awesome to work with as well. She's one of the first that I've seen to incorporate animal skulls, a sweet variation of the traditional human skull symbol. I also enjoy the mix of conventional roses with other accurate types of flowers, such as the poppy.

5. Steve Moore

I wish I was a guy. Not for the obvious reasons, just so I could have more surface area for a badass sleeve. Steve Moore is so good at brilliant, colourful badass sleeves. His art makes me want to gain fifty pounds just to fit more stuff on my body in the future. Seriously though, he's one of Vancouver's best artists. Working out of his own studio in Nanaimo. Check out his Instagram, and commence heavy drooling.

...the colour.

ultimate badassery, cannot handle.

Aaaand after a thorough two hour stint in dream land, it's back to work so I can afford something like these one day.

-erinjardine.ca

#tattoo #art #review #colour #badass

Album review: Arcade Fire's Reflektor

As an Arcade Fire fan, when I discovered their new album, I was stoked and eager to hear some new content. Their sound has progressed and matured throughout their four albums and are always catchy in a different way each time. While I happily listen to entire albums, there are a few Arcade Fire tracks that hit that dancey-pop part of me. I really appreciate how Arcade Fire’s dance songs change through their albums, from Funeral’s “Rebellion (Lies)” to The Suburbs’ “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) and of course their new single “Reflektor”. Without a doubt Arcade Fire has achieved the long climb to super fame. Reflektor and Her was highly anticipated, as is their extensive tour in 2014. Strangely, a few things in the media caught my attention before the album itself. I believe that the extent to which promotion and media affects the listening experience is up to the individual. However, the media does play a relevant role in how music is created and delivered to the listener nowadays and should be discussed.

Arcade Fire marketed their upcoming album through a Haitian veve graffiti symbol that started showing up all over the place. This article likens this strategy to Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s promotional campaigns. Though I was not subject to any of the promotions before listening to the album, but I do agree with the notion of a downside to this type of marketing. It is a brand name, an image, meant to trigger a meaning. The fact that this symbol “defaced” private and public property triggered a negative reaction as well, a notion that Arcade Fire was “selling out” and this marketing presenting a clear message that they are bigger and better than the rules surrounding graffiti.

The article that alerted me to the release of their new album also had a negative commentary to the choices that Arcade Fire is making. The headline, “Arcade Fire isn’t sorry for dress code it issued to fans for upcoming arena tour” speaks for itself. Not only did they market a symbol that only some people were privy to understanding, they also want their fans to look (and ultimately, behave) a certain way.

"One supposes the calculus is that fans who can get past the band’s “we’ve arrived” ticket prices can afford to find some threads the Montreal crew finds acceptable to get through the turnstiles. And while it might seem the directive is “MANDATORY” here as well, it remains to be seen how the band will enforce its protocol at mammoth 15,000-plus seat venues across the U.S. and Canada. Hipster police?" National Post

Since this article was released, Arcade Fire retracted their dress-code protocol for their tour. However, the controversial press surrounding the release of Reflektor is difficult to ignore. So, when I listened to the album, I asked myself, would I dress up for this? Despite being a jeans-and-tshirt type of person, after I listened to Reflektor the short answer is yes.

Not saying that Arcade Fire should be treating their status within the mainstream in this way, but they are still great at what we originally loved them for. The fact that Reflektor is a double album drew some criticism, but I enjoyed the length. The two sides are different and experimental enough to keep me engaged. The album is influenced by the band’s relationship with Haiti, and the first CD sent me back to memories of exploring a different culture, particularily “Here Comes the Night Time” and “Reflektor”. Listening to the album brought me back to emotions of culture shock, feeling lost and reaching out for connections with unfamiliar people and figuring out whom to trust.

Reflektor experiments musically and lyrically with nihilism, citing Søren Kierkegaard's essay, "The Present Age" as another influence. The mentality that life has no fundamental meaning, how humans function as passionless beings wandering aimlessly through life. Lyrically, songs like “We Exist” and most of the first CD pose questions that are clearly in line with the influences the Arcade Fire has cited. Ironically, Kierkegaard’s essay suggests a problem with a society influenced too much by the press, believing that the press promoted the ability to speak risk-free and anonymously that inhibits responsibility and accountability. I could not help but draw a connection to the fact that Arcade Fire chose to use guerilla marketing anonymously to promote their album and encouraging nihilism, a problem that is called to attention within the lyrics of the album.

Musically, the album never settles. Each track is different, from unmistakable pop to heavier beats that cannot be nailed into a specific genre. My favourite track is “Joan of Arc” a more typical rock sounding song. The length of this album and the refusal to satisfy the demand for a mainstream Indie-rock band to fit into any musical category makes this album one to remember. I love listening to talented artists experiment with music like this, but I’d love to see them stick to creating good music, and away from the annoying public relations that seems to send their fans the message that nothing really matters now that we’ve made it. If they kept the nihilism to the aimless adventure of listening to their album and away from the press, I’d be a lot more excited about their tour.

-erinjardine.ca