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ask shit / my face / twitter / thoughts. nak3d h03(z)

[small-town-girl1]

I'm afraid, I'm afraid you aren't going to love me as much as you did when we last saw each other.

[amberthegawd]

This long distance shit got me losing you. You saved me and then you moved. "I'm doing this for us." is what you said. You knew I didn't want to leave California. You knew I didn't want you to leave me. but, you left anyway. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to feel this pain again.

[amberthegawd]

I haven’t thought about you in some time, now. I’ve been meaning to thank you. Thank you for loving me the way only you could, even if it wasn’t love at all. Thank you for showing me everything love shouldn’t be. Thank you for being the first one to break my heart. I learned so much from you. I learned so much from loving you & losing you. I pray you’re seeing better days, now. I pray you love her & your daughter so much better than you ‘loved’ me. Thank you for moving on; it helped me in so many ways.

I’ve been meaning to thank you. (via amberthegawd)

[amberthegawd]

[drowning-in-my-fucking-mind]

Here’s to the kids with social anxiety who work in customer service because it’s the only job available to them

[phandanfan]

I am not shy. Having a social disorder does not make you shy. I can be loud. I laugh a lot. I’m outspoken and will do crazy stuff. I can take up all the space and I can voice my opinion. I can take attention. But ONLY around people I’m comfortable with.

I get panicked at the shop. I can’t go shopping or anywhere on my own. I can’t pay for items by myself. I have to count my change 20 times first. If I can’t plan the conversation I won’t talk to them. Talking to people i don’t know is almost impossible and talking in front of people is torture. I have to rehearse the words yes Mrs every morning to answer a register. If I’m out alone i can’t breath. Someone is always judging me. The way I look, how i walk, the clothes i wear… if someone laughs it’s always at me. These thoughts will drown me. I am terrified of telling new people about my interests from fear of judgement. When out with friends i will always watch what i say, I might slip up otherwise and everyone will hate me. I worry my friends just don’t know how to get rid of me. Every. Single. Day. When I leave a social situation i always regret most of what I say and think nobody really likes me. They just tolerate me. When someone asks if I’m ok. I have to say yes. If I talk about my real feelings, they will think I’m annoying and won’t care. They will call me dramatic. So it’s easier to say I’m good. If a friend even jokes about me. I take it to heart and pretend it’s funny. The minute I’m alone, I think of ways to change. I dwell on awkward moments that I shouldn’t. I can’t make eye contact, its to much. I cross the street so I don’t pass anyone. I’m terrified when someone says can we talk. I have read this post about 100 times for mistakes, from fear someone will point out a flaw.

These are some of what I go through. But I am not shy. No where near. Don’t confuse the two. There’s shyness but there’s also social disorders. They are not the same thing.

[amberthegawd]

ain't shit changed.

[stargazerinmoksha]

it just means that you’re this much more alive

[c-isnenegro]

[amberthegawd]

We seen each other in the club tonight. Your eyes got all big and you smiled.. the side smile you used to do that I thought was the cutest thing ever. I didn't smile back & no I'm not sorry. You left me 5 1/2 years ago and I had to accept an apology I never received. I sat in VIP and watched you look for me as I drank my drink. You didn't ruin my night but God I pray I ruined yours. I still haven't gotten over that hurt. I still hate seeing you in public. I hope you're happy, now. I hope you have a wonderful life. I hope I never have to see you again.

// You broke my heart & I'll never forgive you.

[vodkaisnice]

“I love you” isn’t what you think it looks like. It’s not romantic dates and holding hands. “I love you” is taking care of someone when they’re blackout drunk and throwing up “I love you” is popping back pimples and still kissing through the runny noses winter brings “I love you” is drooling during sex and laughing together “I love you” is being held while violently sobbing because of an anxiety attack “I love you” is discussing what your morning breath smells like with each other “I love you” is “I don’t want to but I will for you and only you.” It’s all the good and the bad and the gross and the beautiful and ugly things about life and embracing that in each other.

[preservable]

[muxer-rebelde-deactivated201310]

emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.

[brav3andwild]

this is important because so many people don’t know this

[tendernotion]

why is it when you’re sad people don’t wanna talk to you but they “love you”

[chrissyoriginal-deactivated2019]

Learn to stop saying “it’s okay” when shit really isn’t .

[girlandhervenus]

I will never understand why my brokenness is so constant and so painful, but I pray one day to be happy with myself without anyone else.

erh (via unbackwards)

[thewordsyouneverunderstood]

in the aftermath of things, you never did come after me. we didn’t waste time with hopeful antics, never said goodbye. you just woke up one day and decided I wasn’t what you wanted and two weeks later I pulled myself out of bed to live and breathe in a world where I don’t end up with you. the realization that I could have never been what you needed- hurts. but I also know that the things meant to happen for me, will always find a way. when you didn’t call, when you didn’t fight for me, I realized there was no point in stepping foot out onto a battlefield where I’m outnumbered. and so I didn’t. i sold myself to the idea that I’m better without you until I started to believe in it. and today, I believe in it whole heartedly. it took me a long time to get here and maybe I could never get back who I was on the day I loved you the most, but I also know that better things are coming. and I’m finally brave enough to open my arms for new beginnings.