"It's locked"
“…you’re kidding, right?” He said, pressing his palms against the wooden doors to push them open. After a few unsuccessful tries, he dropped his arms, sighing deeply. “It’s locked. What are we going to do now? Because I know Natasha won’t open this anytime soon.”
“That’s your line.” He responded with a chuckle, a not so amused one. How many times have he heard her say that before? He’d lost count. He could’ve said something else, but he was tired. Emotionally tired. It felt far worse than being physically exhausted. Sometimes, he wondered why they both kept trying to save this relationship that seemed to have no future. Maybe they were stubborn, maybe they saw this as a battle they wouldn’t lost.
When he felt her hand on his chest, and her heart under his palm, he knew why. He remained silent for a minute, focusing on her heart beat, so soothing, his home. At that moment, he wished they were in bed, his ear pressed to her chest, his arms around her frame. Looking back into her eyes, he inhaled deeply once more as he listened to her accepting her mistakes, and all he did was nod before he buried his face into the crook of her neck to breathe in her scent desperately, like an addict, as if he needed it to live. “Sharon…” He whispered, forcing himself to withdraw to look her in the eyes again. “Do you think this is worth it?”
The feel of his body against her own, the way he was laying his head on her. These were the reasons she knew they were each others, from the way she would caress his neck ever so lightly. All down to how he would secretly take breaths of her scent that he thought she didn’t know about, just to calm himself further. They were the others home. She was his girl, he was her man.
The words felt like a punch to the gut. Only when he spoke like that did she actually feel the weight of the world actually start to fall down on her. The blonde girl never cried, she wasn’t sentimental. Then she wasn’t the type for love over duty either. It all changed with him. Sharon licked her lips, trying to push back the tears. “I can be stubborn and cruel. Sometimes so monotone that everyone thinks the only setting their is for me is mega bitch-” she raised her hand to caress his cheek. Eyes still not moving. “Then you look at me and you see through my charade. You see this southern girl, who loves to sun bathe and eat cheeseburgers… You see that my PTSD is so intense at times that instead of sleeping, I’m working on a new mission. Or I just put myself where you are, wanting to take care of you.” She took in a breath. “You ask me if this is worth it; Steve you’re worth everything in my heart and the thought of us breaking apart kills me. I-I can walk away each time, but my soul dies when we aren’t together. I have to stop myself from being jealous when you’re with the others, and then- then when you finally come back to me. Steve, I finally feel like I’m home again. I’ve never been the girl to choose love over duty. But deep down, when I see myself retired and making a family. I can only see it with you. But if you can’t do this- this is the last time for us. Then You can’t come back to me again. I can’t feel this again. Because I love you too much.”
Her words have never rang truer. He knew her in a level no one else did, as she knew him like nobody else. They’d seen both their virtues and flaws, their strengths and weaknesses; they’ve seen each other cry, scream, laugh, fight, they’d been in the other’s worst moments and in the best ones. They knew they weren’t perfect, but still they accepted and loved each other. When they were apart, he would find himself comparing everyone with her, trying to find her in the girls he dated. No one would ever compare to Sharon Carter.
He lifted his hand to rest it on top of hers, momentarily leaning in her warm touch, eyes closed. The way she made him feel was unique, he couldn’t imagine his life without her. Even though their on and off relationship had brought so much pain, it had also brought him so much happiness. She’d probably been in most of the happiest moments in his life. He was willing to try once more. He never gave up, he wasn’t going to give her up, not her. Her final words were all he needed to be completely certain of this.
“Please don’t go.” He finally said, intense gaze looking deeply into hers. “I need you, baby.” And, forgetting they were actually stuck in an elevator, he leaned in to kiss her tenderly, savoring the moment. “I love you.” He whispered against her lips.
